Harry and Draco actually had a color system of informing each other of what they were doing. They had colored stickers in the kitchen that said they would be working later by blue, out for groceries with red, or at a friend's house with green. If there was another reason, they would use a white note and write where they are on it. It led to a trusting and uninhibited relationship. In a sense they always knew where the other was, but only vaguely.
Draco was careful to put a red sticker under his name as he hurried to find his wallet and keys. Hermione had called ten minutes ago to say that she could share her research on the Crystal Heart with him if he wanted the information, and Draco had consented to go shopping with her so they could talk. (There was also the fact that the fridge was suspiciously empty.)
It felt strange to Draco that he could live so comfortably in a muggle environment, as the Malfoy manor had been destroyed at some point during the war. Both he and Harry hadn't wanted to be reminded of anything magic the first year, and had decided to live in a muggle residence. He had taken a long while to understand that food could not stay fresh if they didn't use magic of the refrigerator. It had taken him much longer to learn the basics of cooking for himself. He still wasn't good at making anything edible, so he was sure to stock up on microwavable and canned foods in case Harry wasn't home in time to cook a decent meal.
Draco found his keys on the counter and grabbed them, stepping easily into his shoes at the same time. There was something else that they had worked out- they shared the same shoes and clothing since Harry and Draco were about the same size, anyway. But Draco stuck to his own shoes (clothing, too) just due to the fact that they both had different tastes. Harry might not care what he put on, but Draco certainly took pride in his appearance. It could be seen with all of Draco's brand-name, color-coordinated clothing, and Harry's nameless sneakers and oversized clothing. Harry had just gotten too used to wearing those oversized hand-me-downs to actually feel comfortable in anything else.
Closing the locked door behind him, Draco jumped down the porch and jogged to the driveway, his keys jingling in his hands. He made his way through the small garden in the front carefully, and to his black Becklister. As he got in and started up the engine, backing out of the driveway and onto the street to pick Hermione up, he allowed a small smirk to come across his face, remembering when he and Harry had first learned to drive. While Harry could explain a car's features to Draco, the ex-Gryffindor had never been behind the wheel before himself and the two of them had been hell on the streets. They had just graduated Hogwarts then and was high on life, a time of attending parties and clubs and seeking to laugh every few seconds. Their relationship had been more physical back then, but it had built a bridge solid enough to get them through the war. After the war, they just mostly had each other and could not imagine a life without the other anymore.
They had tweaked their cars over the years, and reluctantly agreed that magic was a good thing to add in their cars. If something happened and they needed magical transportation that involved their cars, they would have an advantage. But to the most part, the magical enhancements hadn't been needed.
It didn't take long to get to Ron and Hermione's house while Draco had been lost in memories, especially as their house was only a few blocks away. Draco would have walked if the market had been as close as that. But the weather was warm and bright enough that Draco knew if he had walked, the would end the day with plenty a sunburn while Hermione got a nice tan.
Speaking of Hermione…
Draco pulled up outside the curb and watched as a figure said goodbye to someone in the house, and then jogged down the front path towards the Becklister.
"You came fast." She commented as she settled into the passenger seat, flattening her short brown hair and smoothing out the modest knee-length skirt. "Should I be flattered?"
Draco snorted slightly and pulled back onto the road, going to the closest market in the small muggle town that they lived in. "Flattered? Maybe. But don't let it get to your head."
She flicked an amused glance at him and said dryly, "Of course."
"You don't have to sound so pleased." Draco retorted sarcastically, his eyes on the road.
Hermione shook her head. "Sorry. But sometimes being in your presence kind of drains the emotions out of me. You're very cynical at times." She paused, wondering if she should have said that. "Just sometimes."
Draco chuckled humorlessly. "Makes you wonder how Harry manages to stay with me."
"He stays because he loves you."
Stopping at a red light, Draco made a point to stare at Hermione until she smiled at him indulgently and continued, "The two of you have something special, something perfect. You probably don't see it because you've felt it for so long. But from an outsider's point of view… it's like you two are connected at some level that the rest of the mere mortals can't hope to comprehend. It's…" she struggled for a description. "like you know what the other is thinking at all times. You know Harry better than you know yourself, and Harry knows you better than he knows himself. The stage of a relationship that most people only dream of getting to, and the two of you are already beyond it. It's eerie, almost, how you always seem to know where the other is."
"It's only because we've worked out a system for that." Draco said. "And of course we'd know each other well with all the years that we've lived together. It's not that special."
"Yes, it is." Hermione protested. "It might seen like a very normal relationship on the surface level, but it's extraordinary."
Draco certainly didn't see it as that. In fact, he didn't see the relationship as anything glowing that Hermione was insinuating at. All he knew was that he and Harry loved each other, and had carved out a very comfortable niche in the world for the both of them to settle in together. And the way Hermione put it made him slightly uncomfortable, as a sense of foreboding came over him. "Can we please talk about something else? Like the reason for this whole trip?"
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What groceries we're getting?"
"No."
She sighed. "Alright, fine. Let's talk about the Crystal Heart."
by: Shamera K. Tsukishirou
By the time Draco got home again, he had a nagging suspicion of what the Crystal Heart could be. And that suspicion was dragging up an almost forgotten feeling of dread deep within him. He still couldn't quite piece together everything that Hermione had tried to tell him subtly, but that gnawing feeling in his gut was too strong to ignore.
It was just that he couldn't understand why Hermione kept trying to tell him how special his relationship with Harry was. What did that have to do with anything?
Summing up what he knew, the Crystal Heart was a jewel that was able to just about cure all illnesses, bring happiness to the person who had it, and was the embodiment of love. And from what he knew, the last time the Crystal Heart was seen was with a bitch of a woman who had disappeared off the face of the earth.
How encouraging.
He found Harry sitting in the small study that they had, seemingly contemplating something. The black locks that he loved so much were tangled within slim fingers that were currently tugging gently as if inducing stimulation to the head. Draco watched from the doorway for a moment, allowing a small smile to tug at his lips when he heard Harry muttering to himself about the workload that the Ministry had to give its workers.
"You know, you're only encouraging your hair to fall out like that." Draco pointed out, still standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and leaning on the threshold.
Harry turned around in his chair, the lamplight he had on glinting off his narrow glasses as he saw Draco in the room. A small smile was given when Harry said, "You'd still love me even when that happens, you sap."
"And how would you know?" Draco teased.
Harry's smile faded slightly. "Wouldn't you?"
And it was within moments that the previous light atmosphere was transformed into something more somber.
Draco's features softened as he looked at Harry, gazing into those green eyes that he had spent hours staring into before. "If I still can, I would."
Harry offered a small smile. "Then you will."
He remembered when the war had been raging all around them. When there had been blood and death and tears to fill the emptiness that had been his heart. It was… still disconcerting to remember that time, to feel those emotions and that void surge up inside his soul like it had been before. It was more than simply reliving his memories every time he thought about it… it was almost like he was trapped with those feelings and emotions that refused to go away. And the more he thought about it, the stronger it became. Even afterward when he would remember that they had lived through it… and they were now safe, he couldn't get rid of the emptiness that was inside and whispered its dark, seductiveness to him- telling him that nothing would ever be alright.
And as he lay in the darkness, his eyes wide open and unseeing, he could remember those times and those feelings. And he embraced them willingly, knowing that the answer he sought was within those emotions, was inside that horrible void that had been a part of his life.
Harry remembered a time when he hadn't been able to carry on, struggling from minute to minute only through stubbornness and pride. He had hated life- anything in relation to it, and had reacted violently to anyone or anything that tried to approach him. It had been a point in his life when he not only entertained the idea of stopping, of ending everything that he had to go through, but of embracing the darkness that had been offered to him.
The light was too painful- it made his eyes hurt and water. It exposed him to everyone else, and burned the wounds that he already suffered, not able to reach back to cover them. He had been young then, immersed deeply into a war that had him chained to it for years already. He was born to this war, and he would die to it, he had believed.
Harry had never been violent before… he had been angry before, had been scared, and had felt hate to the likes of the greatest villains in history, but he had already remained passive. Even in his greatest haze of red, Harry had been reluctant to hurt, to cause pain of any kind. But it was during that war when Harry learned that hurting would lead to relief… if only for a small while.
And he would have taken any relief he could get in that war.
It was during that time that he hated Dumbledore as much as he hated Voldemort, where anyone who came meters close to him would suffer from hex after hex, and everyone could feel the rage roll off his skin whenever he stepped into a room. Harry had never been violent and dark before, and he relished in the feeling of control and fear. He hated the thought of happiness, that anyone should be feeling joyful while he suffered so for them.
He could honestly say that teenaged hormones was only adding to those feelings, fueling the hate that he felt for the general, and adding to the stress and shit he had to deal with already on a daily basis. He couldn't understand how anyone had been able to survive past their teenaged years, and didn't want to deal with anything anymore.
Now that he looked back, Harry could honestly say that he was way past the brink of insanity. He had been insane, in a manner that made the rest fear him and what the future would bring.
He had laughed at the death of many, and had enjoyed the warmth of blood running down his face while he was in a battle. It was the suffering of others that continued to keep him in the war, because he knew that he would never be able to quit. The war had eaten him alive, and this was the only way to deal with it. Had it not been for Draco, Harry would have most likely become another person like Voldemort, unable to deal with the world and retreating to a place deep within himself where he was in control… where he ruled with an iron fist and would kill any who threatened his reign.
But Draco had pulled him back. Draco had been the sane one during the war, despite what everyone had imagined before the war actually started. The blonde boy had been the one to scream at Harry, to fight when Harry had given up, and claw his way out of any situation if only Harry would see.
Draco had been the one who witnessed Harry's insanity up close, had been the one to endure the screaming, punching, and tears when he held the other boy down. Draco had been the one who loved him enough to knock him out after he got into one of his rages, and scream at him for his behavior. Draco had been the one who resorted to cursing Harry and stunning the other boy, finally making Harry see the tears in those grey eyes that he loved so much. Every time he had been in that void inside himself, it had hurt Draco. And Harry could finally see the world as it was… if he saw it through Draco's eyes.
Harry would never have made it through the war without Draco.
Thinking back at the void that he felt, the emptiness that he could fill only with pain, Harry understood.
He would not have made it had it not been for Draco.
And their love was special. Their love was extraordinary.
It was sometime in the middle of the night when Draco awoke to the shifting of the bed, feeling his back cool slightly as Harry sat up, taking some of the blankets with him. The blonde opened his eyes cautiously as he felt the cool night air drift near his back, bringing out goose bumps and shivers which he hid.
He could feel Harry stare at him in thought, could almost see those green eyes glaze over with deep worries and concern. It had happened for many nights already, but somehow… tonight it felt different. It felt as if Harry had reached a conclusion.
And it was then that Draco turned over, his own grey eyes focusing on the darkened green orbs that stared back at him.
"Can't sleep?" He asked lightly, wondering why Harry looked so forlorn for a moment. But that moment passed quickly, and Draco wondered if it had actually existed.
Harry smiled at the concern, and shook his head, dark locks spraying across his forehead to cover the infamous scar. "No, it's not that. I was just thinking, that's all."
Sensing that Harry wasn't going to lie down again anytime soon, Draco sat up as well, bringing the blankets up to ward off the chill in the night. The two of them squirmed until they were both resting against the headboard of the bed, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip with the blankets wrapped up snuggly about them.
Draco wrapped an arm around Harry's waist to pull the other closer, and felt Harry do the same. It was a comfortable position, one that spoke of intimacy without being embarrassed. It told of how they had practiced their nighttime talks into perfection, knowing just what the other was going to do at any time.
"This isn't about those dreams again, is it?" Draco asked quietly, not wanting to really disturb the peaceful moment with talks of war and violence, bloodshed and rivers of tears. He rested his head slightly against Harry's, and could feel as the other man sighed just the slightest bit, the breath coming out so softly that it barely ruffled his dark fringe.
"It sort of is, it sort of isn't." Harry answered vaguely, his voice thick with a strange emotion.
Draco had to wait a few minutes in silence as Harry got his composure to continue.
"I…" the green-eyed man faltered for a moment before speaking again. "I know where the Crystal Heart is."
Draco's eyes grew wide, and he tightened his grip around Harry's waist. Something nagged at him in the back of his mind, telling him that he didn't want to know, that he should stop Harry before the other man could speak again, but the feeling was much too vague for Draco to really understand it.
"What do you mean? I thought you said that we would never find the girl who has it…"
"And we never will if she doesn't want to be found." Harry said, confident this time. He turned his head slightly to look Draco in the eyes, his expression solemn. "But… the Crystal Heart isn't just one jewel, Draco. It's extremely rare, but that's because most people are too scared to look for it… Everyone has a chance of finding the Crystal Heart. Just one chance. And most people… most people never find it."
"What do you mean?" Draco asked quietly, unnerved by the seriousness that Harry exuded. That feeling of dread was back and stronger than ever, but Draco was too ensnarled by Harry's voice to pay attention to it.
Harry smiled, his expression softening as he took Draco's free hand and placed it firmly on his chest. Draco's eyes lingered on his own hand, resting on the cotton of Harry's shirt, feeling the heat and the heartbeat that was under it.
"Don't you understand yet, Draco? The Crystal Heart… the embodiment of love… and not just any love… extraordinary love."
Extraordinary love… wasn't that what Hermione was saying? That they had an extraordinary relationship?
Comprehension was starting to dawn on Draco, and he tried to pull his hand back, but Harry wouldn't let go.
"I didn't know at first." Harry was saying, using the hand that didn't hold Draco's down to trail his fingers down the side of Draco's face. He watched those pale eyes grow wide, finally starting to understand everything. "Didn't know what I should do. I could heal you… I had the power to. But would you be happy afterwards? I wasn't even sure if I could do it… because everyone about us seemed so normal.
"But then I started looking around… and realized that we weren't normal at all. Who else had the perfect systems worked out? Everyone time I listened to someone complain about their home life and how their significant other grinded their nerves, I always wondered why. We never had that problem. It was almost scary how we'd never fight anymore. How… utterly perfect everything's gotten. The dullness of it, the calm way in which we knew everything about each other… that was what made it so special. No one else has something like this. We never acknowledged it, never thought of it as anything other than ordinary."
"Harry, no…" Draco's voice was strained as he continued to listen to Harry, and the other man stopped his protests by leaning in for a close kiss. A simple kiss that lingered on Draco's lips long after the other pulled away.
"But would you be happy? That was the most important thing of all. If you were cured… would you be happy? Or would you wallow in guilt and sadness? I don't want to restore your emotions only to have you endure the negative effects. Then I realized that it was perfect… The Heart brought eternal happiness."
"I would never be happy." Draco protested. "Even if I were, it would only be fake!"
Harry shook his head. "Not fake. Real happiness. But who's to tell the difference between real and fake if they both have the same affect? If everything about it is the same, who can tell if it's real or fake?
"And…" Harry smiled beautifully. "I want to make you happy."
Before Draco could protest, before he could scream and rant at Harry for his foolishness, the dark-haired boy spoke a single word of power, one that Draco would remember for an eternity.
And it was as if all his forgotten emotions had come back in full force, hitting him with such force that Draco nearly staggered over had he not been holding Harry. His nose registered the small of warm copper, pungent enough to make his eyes sting. The hand that held Harry's felt slippery, wet and moist with a heat that he did not want to feel.
But that had only been the physical sensations. Inside, the dim voices that nagged the back of his mind was let out, screaming with an intensity that Draco's eyes started tearing. The love that had been repressed was so tangible that he could feel it in the cool air, and the sorrow that he hadn't felt for months came back to hit him repeatedly on the head. There was a magnitude of different emotions- be it nervousness to queasiness, his stomach reeling with the amount of feelings that he was experiencing.
The curse had been broken. But… at what cost?
After finally able to focus his eyes again, he saw Harry smiling at him. That same smile that the man had on just minutes ago, that told of all the secrets of the universe hidden in that smile.
And in his hands… hands that were holding the object out to Draco like a gift, was the most beautiful thing Draco had ever seen in his life.
The dark red that covered Harry's hands didn't detract from the beauty of the jewel. A gem the size of a heart… that fit perfectly in one's palm. It gleamed and glittered with an inner light, a bright red that Draco had never seen before, yet had seen a million times in his dreams. It was a color that conveyed a feeling perfectly, and if the crystal could speak, it would speak of nothing but love.
Draco's eyes went from the jewel back to Harry's face, seeing bits of blood spattered across Harry's pale cheeks. And he immediately hated that word that Harry had spoken, hated the power and the magic and the love behind it. The emotion was so strong that Draco could barely breathe, could barely hear what Harry was about to say.
"I never understood why Joey needed to give away his heart until this moment." Harry said softly, his green eyes focused on Draco's. "His love had been extraordinary, even if it hadn't been returned. This is why information of the Crystal Heart had been erased by all those who knew about it and its powers. Some believed that the Heart did more harm than good, and others believed that it would cause wars… wars that would break out to be the possessor of the Heart… because they could not discover one within themselves." Harry grabbed Draco's hands, staining it with the red that covered his own. "Take it. Leave. Disappear. You'll be happy forever… and no one will be able to find you if you don't want them to."
"I can't." Draco choked out, wondering about the tears that streaked down his cheeks. How was it possible for a person to feel so much? His own heart was beating so fast… clenching and unclenching to a rhythm that he didn't know of. "I'm not like Lisa… I can't just leave…" His hands clutched at Harry's own, bringing the blood stained digits to his lips.
"Then stay." Harry said. "And keep the Heart close to you. Don't let anyone take it away. It will keep you happy, keep you safe and warm in my stead. This is me watching over you and being able to protect you like I couldn't do before." Harry leaned in close, mindless of the liquid that bound them together. "This is me saying I love you… like I never could before."
Draco closed his eyes as their lips brushed together, as Harry's grip slacked and fell. They stayed in this position for a long time, not noticing the world around them.
And when Draco pulled back, he cried from the despair he had not felt for so long.
Authoress's Rambling: I am... extremely sorry about the crappy quality of this story. -_-;; Blame it on my fever. Writing while sick is such an interesting experiance... *coughs* And the fact that I had to write the last scene 3 times. The first was more limey, but Navi ate that... the second started to get limey when Navi ate it again. So I finally figured, "The Hell!!" and tried to write a more intimate scene. Of course, as I'm not in a coherent state of mind, it came out like... this. ^^;; Another factor had to be that my headache made me completely forget my original ending, so I winged it. -_-;; Sorry about that.
I'm really, really sorry about the poor play of emotions in here! It's supposed to be so much stronger, but my eyes are currently drooping and my wrists hurt and half the story was written on paper while the other half was typed... I write differently from how I type. When I write, the plot goes along much faster- when I type, I get to concentrate on the details. So you can tell which part was written and which part was typed.
The first scene in this chapter was only here to explain how normal Harry and Draco's relationship was. And I was going to write the scene where Hermione explained everything she knew to Draco while Draco picked out all the foods that Harry liked without thought, but I figured that I've written enough about their normalcy, and enough about the background of the Crystal Heart as tdei was able to get the ending hole in one before I even started to write chapter 2. ^^;; Am I that predictable?
An absolutely HUGE amount of thanks to fireangle, who provided that link for Demon Diary... *GLOMP* Thank you!! *stares at pictures* ...be still, my heart! XD Also to Death, NayNymic, miki, and tdei, of course! ^_^ This story was written for these people. ^_~
