Title: The Demon Within

Author: Goldy

Email: thegoldoneb_a@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: Joss'. No suey.

Synopsis: Buffy and the gang deal in the wake of a newly returned Angelus.

Spoilers: None.

A/N: This has nothing to do with what's currently being televised on Ats and BTVS. I wrote this chapter LONG before the spoilers of Angelus coming back were out.

A/N2: After much thinking, I've decided not to disallow anonymous reviews. As many of you know, I've been under a much cruel attack by various B/S shippers for my offing of Spike in an earlier chapter. I'll just keep erasing the reviews… it's a pain, but I don't really mind. But I ask, though, those of you who are going to be offended by a B/A fic, and, clearly, NOT a Spike friendly fic, to just not read it. Thank you.

Dedication: Laura for the quick beta. Go read Saileach Go Deo's wonderful W/T fic!

Rating: PG

Feedback: Yes, do I ever need it. While I don't let flames really get me down, they do something to your confidence.

Cordy was getting a snack. Fighting yucky demon parts, dealing with missing slayers, and saving vampires with souls certainly worked on her appetite. All she wanted to do was sit down, watch some cheesy TV, and eat a sandwich.

It sounded perfect.

Which, of course, meant that it was never going to happen. She was just spreading peanut butter on one piece of bread when Buffy barreled into the kitchen.

And straight into her arms.

Sobbing.

Cordelia's first thought, she had to admit, was, 'She's finally going to apologize for all the times she was mean to Angel!'  But then Buffy lifted her head, eyes wide and terrified and Cordelia knew that it wasn't so simple.

"Oh god," she whispered, "what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Buffy shrieked, half-hysterical, "Nothing! I didn't do ANYTHING! We weren't even TOUCHING!"

Cordy's heart bottomed out. "No!" she hissed, "No! No! No!"

Buffy nodded her head, wiping tears from her eyes. "Where are the others?"

Cordelia gulped. It was okay. It was probably nothing. Buffy had been Ms. Suicide Girl all year long. Everything was fine. She was probably just hallucinating or something.

But Cordelia's hands started shaking, and she grasped Buffy's arm. "In the lobby."

The two of them walked out, Cordelia clinging to the big strong slayer, and Buffy feeling like the world was collapsing down around her. They were all smiling in the lobby, celebrating saving the day. With a sick feeling in her stomach, she noticed Ethan tied up in the corner. Gunn and Wesley both had loaded tranquilizers trained on him, and Fred was pacing around, chatting and joking cheerfully.

Buffy let go of Cordy. As if in a trance, she walked up to Ethan and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "What did *you* DO?"

He tried to sound dignified. "Whatever are you talking about?"

Her mouth was set into a firm line. "I'll kill you," she warned. "I'll KILL you!"

"Buffy, good heavens, what is going on?" Wesley asked, coming up to her and watching with mild panic as she held the other Brit up in the air.

Voice as cold as ice, she looked Ethan deep in the eye. "Angelus," she said simply. The entire room seemed to tense and freeze at the mere mention of the name.

"Angelus? You mean… Angel without a soul?" Fred asked timidly.

"I mean, deadly killer," Buffy hissed, anger in her words, on her face, and in the fist she planned on using against Rayne. "I mean, the demon wearing my lover's face. The one who will kill us all because I can't kill him." She smiled chillingly, "Now, Rayne, I do suggest that you tell me what to do about it before I take some of my extra anger out on you."

Wesley watched, eyes growing wide as Buffy pushed Ethan against the wall, hand crushing his windpipe. Angelus…he let out a little shiver. This could have incredible effects. Angelus was ruthless, crazed, and the only one that could stop him was going insane herself.

Wesley couldn't help but feel a little twinge of sympathy for Ethan. The slayer was wild, and his face was turning a painful blue, the lack of air close to killing him.

Buffy removed her hand. "Now. Be a good boy and tell me how to fix it."

Ethan coughed, brought his hands up to his throat and tried in vain to remove Buffy's tight grip. "I didn't do it, I swear!" he choked, words sounding dry and scratchy. Buffy raised her fist. "Whatever happened was because he got a true moment of happiness…." Ethan stumbled, giving her an accusing glare. "I happened, for once, to have nothing to do with it."

Buffy pressed her hand against his windpipe again and watched with no horror as he turned red and eventually passed out. Gunn could see the terror in the man's eyes, knew that he would have to be crazy to lie to Buffy. Walking cautiously, he lay a hand on her arm.

"I believe him," he murmured, trying to sound as calm and reassuring as possible. "And I think he may be able to bring Angel back…."

Buffy snorted, shrugging the hand off and not looking away from Ethan's face. Her gaze was that of a predator summing up a precious prey.

"If you kill him," Gunn whispered, "then you'll never get Angel back."

Buffy bit her lip, finally nodded and let go of Ethan. He slumped to the floor, a messy tangle of arms and legs.

She looked at Gunn, "Watch him… I want to talk to him when he wakes up."

Cordelia let out a shriek, hand held over her mouth. Buffy whipped around, drawing a stake from under her pant leg. Eyes fierce, she was momentarily put off by the sight of Cordelia standing there in mild panic with her eyes wide.

"Dawn…" she whispered, the single syllable sending shivers down Buffy's spine as she remembered her sister.

Who wasn't in the lobby.

Who was in the hotel.

The hotel that Angel knew the way around.

The hotel that Angelus was in.

And Dawn was alone.

And Dawn didn't know.

***

Dawn was reading a romance novel. She had borrowed it from the library at school. Libraries in LA weren't like the ones in Sunnydale. They were all but exploding with books. You could find anything, from Shakespeare to Twain. Dawn had recently discovered the wonderful world of Nora Roberts. 'Naked in Death,' the title said.

Dawn loved it. Now here were two people that had issues, were different, were star crossed, but just… weren't as bad as Buffy and Angel. And, damn, it was romantic.

And hot, she thought, thinking of Roarke. Blushing a little, Dawn heard someone walking towards the room. Quickly, she hid the book under her pillow and pulled out her rumpled science notes.

Not that Buffy would notice. Buffy hardly noticed anything about her. She almost wished that Buffy knew she spent most of the day at school daydreaming, staring off into space and missing every question the teachers asked her. When Dawn did something bad, Buffy noticed for a little while.

And then forgot about her.

Dawn looked up when Angel sauntered into the room and leaned against the door frame. She relaxed. Angel was cool. And he actually cared about her. Unlike her sister. He was smart. The only reason that she wasn't failing is that he actually knew stuff. Like algebra and history.

He smiled pleasantly. "Doing your homework?"

Dawn nodded, thinking guiltily of the book hidden under her pillow. She felt bad for lying. Not that Angel would care that she was reading, he encouraged it. It was just more fun to have something that *her* secret.

He entered her room, wandering around aimlessly, finally turning his back and looking at pictures on her bookshelf. "This is a nice one," he said, holding up a shot of Dawn and Buffy at the beach. They had just built the world's biggest sandcastle and were sitting next to it, wearing matching proud smiles.

She nodded. "Dad took that before we moved. It was the last time I can ever remember Mom and Dad being together for a whole day without fighting."

Angel smiled, putting the picture down. He lifted a stuffed teddy bear and fiddled with it idly. "That must be a good memory."

Dawn tapped her fingers on her homework. Something was wrong, she could feel it. "Is… Buffy okay?" she asked timidly, voice close to cracking.

"Buffy's fine," Angel answered, back still to her, still facing the bookcase.

"Oh…" Dawn murmured in relief. "I'm glad… she was a mess before."

"She was," he agreed darkly.

"Angel…" she gulped, feeling suddenly like running and not sure why. She tried to control the pounding of her heart. "Is there something wrong?"

He closed his eyes, though she couldn't see him. He could smell her fear. Knew that it would soon turn to panic. Remembered how good panic tasted. "Everything's fine," he whispered soothingly.

"Oh…" she paused, thought. More cheerful, she started again, "I knew that you could help her. I knew you wouldn't give up on her."

He chuckled. "That's what I love about you, Dawn. Your naiveté. Your sister used to be like that," he smiled, "but I took it away from her."

Her heart sped up. Her throat felt dry, parched. "What… what do you mean?"

"I gave up on Buffy a long time ago."

She sucked in a breath, even as warning bells went off in her head. "I… I want a drink of water." Dawn scrambled for the edge of the bed.

Angel turned around, letting his fangs show. Dawn gasped, horrified, seeing the ridges protruding from his forehead, the malice in his eyes. "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm quite thirsty as well," Angel drawled, moving towards her.

Dawn shrieked moving back on the bed, pressing her back against the wall. 'Oh god, oh god, oh god….' Her breath hitched out in short painful breaths. "Angel?"

He smiled gleefully. "A little too happy for that, don't  'ya think?"

She searched wildly for an exit. The only one, Angel was blocking. "How… how…" she gulped nervously, as he came towards her.

"I think you know how," Angel whispered. "Don't you just love the irony in this? Your sister sacrificed her life to save you. A year later, because of her, you're going to die."

"Buffy!" she yelled, "BUFFY!"

Angel grabbed her around the throat, choking off her screams. Dawn kicked and thrashed. Angel let out a growl. "You're making this difficult."

With a muffled groan, she managed to slash her fingernail down his cheek. He howled and let go off her. Falling to the ground, Dawn climbed on her hands and knees towards the door. If she could just get out of the room. If she could just get to the stairs. If she could just call Buffy.

It would be okay.

And the door was getting closer. Closer, closer, she forced herself towards it. Only to shriek and be pulled back when a hand closed around her ankle and yanked her backwards. Lying on her back, Dawn fought brokenly with her hands in front of her face, like she was trying to get rid of a pesky mosquito.

Angel pinned her hands down to the floor, his knees on her legs. All she could do was stare helplessly into his vampire face. Blood from her nail wound trickled down his face and he grinned, licking at it with his tongue.

"I've always loved Summers' blood," he remarked, like this was a normal conversation. He bent his face towards her neck, intending to bite down, but choosing at the last minute to pull away and look into her terrified face.

"Hmmm," he murmured thoughtfully, before breaking the wrist of the hand that had slashed him. Dawn let out a pained, weak whimper.

Angel knew she had given in.

So he smiled, nodded. "That's better." Again, he lowered his fangs to her throat, listening to the way her heart was racing. "I wonder if you'll taste different because you're the Key," he muttered thoughtfully into her ear before biting down.

Her neck was softer than Buffy's. The softness that only a child could have. And her blood was good, sweet, tangy and tasted as a Summers should. There was just one thing missing. The slayer strength, the buzz that still filled his mind and senses when he thought of the one time Buffy had let him feed off her.

And then he was kicked in the head. Stunned, he rolled to the floor, blood staining his chin. He looked up, right into the eyes of a very mad Buffy Summers.

He smiled for her. "Why hello, lover."

She snarled, kicking him with all her strength in his most sensitive spot. She held up her stake like a shield. "Get out of here."

He choked, the sound filled with pain. "You still can't kill me," he pointed out gleefully.

"Get out of here," she repeated. "Don't think I won't do it, because I will."

He snarled. "Now that's just the sweetest thing that I've ever heard."

She kicked him again. This time, he managed to stumble up. He licked his fangs, clearly showing the pleasure he'd had in drinking from her sister.

But he left. He slunk out the room, managing to look cocky, even with a slight limp to his walk. Buffy's eyes followed his back as he left, her face hard and determined. Fierce, as a slayer should be.

And then he was gone.

Her face crumpled. It was too much. Too much in too little time. The slayer was strong, a warrior. But the girl that lived in her was quickly losing her fire.

She made a beeline for her broken little sister. Conscious, curled up in a fetal ball, Dawn rocked back and forth. Her eyes were wide and terrified as Buffy came towards her. Buffy lay a protective hand on her shoulder. Dawn flinched, moving away. She closed her eyes and swayed, weak from the blood loss.

"We need to get you to a hospital," Buffy said firmly.

Dawn shook her head. "What did you do?" her voice was low, hurt, and accusing.

"I…" Buffy trailed off even as alarms went off in her head. Angel's soul was gone. That meant that he'd had a true moment of happiness. It meant that she had made him happy, truly happy for the second time in his life. It was her fault. All her fault, and now the man she loved was gone, and the evil monster who wore his face was out to kill the people she loved.

Buffy shuddered, tears springing up in her eyes. "I didn't do anything, Dawn," she whispered, voice pained. "I just smiled… just smiled at him…" gulping, she squeezed her eyes shut, grabbing for her sister's hand blindly. Dawn took it, feeling how cold and clammy it was. "It's not fair… we didn't do anything… anything…"

Dawn sniffed, nodded before standing up wobbly. Buffy opened her eyes, noticed Dawn's injuries and the way she was swaying. If she had been only a moment later… Buffy didn't want to think about what could have happened. Hefting Dawn up into her arms, Buffy cradled her gently, almost like she was a baby.

With great effort, Dawn managed to smile at her. "It's going to be okay," she said reassuringly, before passing out in Buffy's arms.

And silent tears trickled down the slayer's cheeks.

***

The faint smell of death hung in the air. Buffy could smell it, feel the way that it prickled the hair on the back of her neck and tickled her arms. The walls were white, the chairs were hard, and people were bunched together. Waiting. Flinching, faces filled with fear and hope as the doctors came to tell them the news of their loved one.

Some died.

Some barely lived.

And others walked out smiling.

It was a hospital, and Buffy hated them. Hospitals meant that the control was no longer in her hands. Life or death no longer became her decision. Instead, she was forced to wait. Huddled, legs drawn protectively up to her chest, she sat and waited for the news of her sister. The forms had all been filled out, but she couldn't remember anything that she had said.

Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia had been there numerous times during the day. Reassuring her, bringing her coffee and food. She had accepted it all numbly. Fred had refused to leave, saying that it was her fault that Dawn had been alone. Buffy hadn't said anything to that. She knew whose fault it really was and didn't think she could stand the guilt of admitting it out loud.

Buffy had arrived at the hospital with Dawn still in her arms. A bandage haphazardly strewn about her neck. The doctors had taken one quick look at her before rushing off to the ER, leaving Buffy with nothing but her sister's blood staining her clothes.

She sat, not being able to cry, too hurt and pained to feel anything at all. Wishing so hard that Angel, her Angel, was there to comfort her. Wished that he was there to hold her and whisper words of nothing in her ear and be strong for her.

And her thoughts turned to death. Because her sister had almost died again. And Angel was out there running around. And someone had to do something because Angelus would kill and kill and kill. Buffy knew who the slayer was, knew whose job it was to run that stake through her lover's heart. But she couldn't even think about it without trembling, couldn't imagine it without hyperventilating.

Couldn't, wouldn't, do it.

Fred wrapped her arms around Buffy, seeing the way she shivered, the way she rocked back and forth. Not knowing Fred had it in her, she comforted the poor little blonde girl. She rocked her gently, whispered soothingly and didn't allow the slayer to see her own tears of frustration.

***

Wesley was rifling through a big, brown, billion year old, leather book. Cordelia's face turned into a grimace. Like that was going to help. She looked around the room, saw how Gunn was sitting in a pile of weapons, watched as Ethan struggled uselessly against his chains.

Cordy wanted to be alone. She wanted to think. She wanted to weep. And she wanted to remember her good friend Angel. She couldn't be alone because her good friend Angel was more evil than good, and Buffy had made them all swear not to go anywhere alone.

Something in the slayer's eyes, the look of death maybe, had told Cordelia that she had better follow the advice. Thinking of Buffy made Cordy's heart swell with pain. On a good day she merely tolerated her boss' girlfriend. But the way her face had looked when she came downstairs with a broken Dawn in her arms…. Cordy didn't think she'd ever be able to have a day when she wouldn't think of that look.

Helplessness.

Buffy. Strong Buffy. Who had been to heaven and back, who had still gone on, was close to breaking down. Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut. If only she had followed the Annoyingness this morning… then none of this might have happened.

Opening them, she looked back at Rayne tied up in the corner. Then at Wesley reading his useless book. Then at Gunn sharpening a sword. Picking Wesley, she walked up to him, slamming her hand down on the book and shutting it with a noise that seemed to explode around the hotel.

All eyes turned to stare at the ex-cheerleader questioningly. "We need to do something."

Wesley frowned. "I was before you caused me to lose my page."

She shook her head. "That's not doing something, Wesley," she hissed, "that's doing pathetic research." She glared at Gunn, "And you! Wasting artillery, we should be using our energies to get Angel back!"

The black man barely looked at her. "He's not good, Cordelia. And I sure as hell ain't ganna wait around for him to kill us."

Her eyes blazed. "I don't want to just "wait around". But you don't seem to get it, Gunn. If he came after us right now, he'd kill us. It doesn't matter how many weapons you have, he'd still kill us all." She glared at the three men, "The only person that's strong enough to stop him is having a mental BREAKDOWN! Which means it's up to us….." Baring her teeth, she pointed at Ethan, "And you! You know EXACTLY how to help Angel!"

Ethan Rayne smiled. "Yes, but what do I get out of it?"

The other's just stared at him blankly. Then, in unison, they rolled their eyes and cried, "You get to live!"

***

Buffy's nose itched. It was the smell of the hospital. The chemicals, the urine, and the hopelessness. It seemed to drip from the walls, hang in the air, and waft from the rooms. If she closed her eyes she would feel the despair surround her, threatening to choke and squeeze her in a deadly game that she could never win.

She shook her head, a useless gesture, trying in vain to get rid of the morbid images. "Hold on, Summers," she muttered under her breath. Just because she'd had a confusion spell put on her, caused her boyfriend vampire to lose his soul, and let him put her little sister in the hospital, didn't give her an excuse to give up.

Didn't matter how much she wanted to.

A sob tore its way out of her scratchy throat, rocketing down the hospital hall. Passing nurses and doctors didn't notice as they rushed by to attend to the sick and dying.

She sucked in a breath, guilty for thinking of giving up. She had promised Angel that she would get better. But Angel was gone, and the thing that wore his face was out to kill her.

'It's not too late!' her mind screamed, thinking of Rayne tied up at the hotel. Her heart tightened painfully with the knowledge that many could die before she got his soul back. Just because she needed him. People always died when she and Angel tested their love. And she was selfish, because she didn't care what the risk was.

Blinking back tears, Buffy entered her sister's hospital room. Dawn was conscious and staring at her with an accusing gaze when she entered. "For a minute there I thought you had frozen over and you were going to go into a long deep sleep like the dinosaurs," she snapped, glaring at her older sister.

Buffy managed to give a little smile. "The dinosaurs?"

Dawn glared at her. "I'm angry, I've lost a lot of blood, and they put me on some weird drug! But you know what I mean!"

Buffy gulped, glancing around the room nervously. "Dawn…" she whispered, "it's hard for me, you know that." Her eyes surveyed the white washed walls, the TV sitting in the corner, the drapes pulled firmly over the only window in the room. It was like a tight box. One that they could never escape from. It kept squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, and the walls were getting closer, closer, closer. And Dawn was lying in the middle of it. Dark smudges around her eyes, arm tied to an IV, her wrist was in a sling, and a bandage was tied securely to her neck.

"How could you?" Dawn said, voice high pitched, and as hurt as only a sibling's could be.

"I didn't…" Buffy trailed off, looking at the ground. That was a lie. The only way for Angel to lose his soul was to get a moment of true happiness. And that meant it was her fault. She let out a breath. "We hadn't done anything, Dawny. I swear."

"So what?" she screeched, "he just decided to let the demon out?" Her eyes filled with tears,  "Don't lie to me, Buffy. You guys must have thrown caution to the wind, everyone else be damned, and had sex!"

"We *didn't*!" Buffy yelled, the meekness gone from her voice. Stamping her foot on the ground, she didn't notice as little cracks in the floor, like tiny spider webs, spread out around her foot. "We didn't do ANYTHING!" the tears that she had been holding back for the past few hours threatened to overflow. "All I know is the world suddenly came into view again… he was there… and then he…" she stopped, walked over to Dawn's bed. Sat down. Closed her eyes. "And then he wasn't."

Dawn let out a sob she'd been holding in and grabbed Buffy's hand. "I like Angel," she whimpered.

Buffy leaned forward and pushed a kiss to her sister's damp forehead. "We're going to get him back, Dawny."

She looked away from Buffy. "I was so scared when I figured out what happened…" she shook her head. "I knew something was wrong. But… not that. Never that. He was so mean, Buffy." She gazed back at Buffy and looked her right in the eye. "How could you let him get me?"

Buffy flinched. The same question had been on her mind as she had sat in the waiting room. As Fred had rocked her shocked body, Buffy's mind had been busily trying to understand why she didn't go check on Dawn first thing.

"I couldn't think straight," she whispered, remembering her fear. "All I could think about was that I would have to kill him, but I couldn't, and I was so afraid that he would hurt someone that I love." Buffy didn't mention the fact that it was *Cordelia* that had finally remembered her sister in the end. "I'm so sorry, Dawny. I wish… I wish it could be different."

Dawn looked down at her covers, sifted the sheets idly through her fingers. "Do you love me?"

Buffy tenderly tucked a long piece of her brown hair behind her ear. "You know I do."

She stared up at her with shinning eyes. "More than you love Angel?"

Buffy chuckled softly. "Way more, Dawny."

The slayer's little sister smiled. "Liar."

The blonde shrugged. "We do have that whole star crossed thing going on."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "More like till death do all of those we know and love."

Buffy sighed deeply, trying not to show how much the comment hurt. "Yeah."

"Buffy?"

"Hmmm?"

Dawn let out a deep breath. "You're not a bad sister. At least, you are when you don't take my clothes."

Buffy chuckled. "You're the one who always takes my clothes," she muttered indignantly, stretching out on the bed next to her. Dawn smiled and Buffy wrapped her arms around her. And the two Summers lay like that for a little while, hoping that maybe if they stayed long enough it would all be a dream.

***

Ethan Rayne glared at his captors. "That's a good point."

Gunn went back to sharpening his sword. "See, what I don't understand," he mused aloud, "is why we think this guy would be able to help us. Obviously, the big "spellcaster" can't even release himself from a pair of flimsy chains."

"They're not just flimsy chains!" Cordelia muttered indignantly.

"She's right," Wesley chimed in, "those were the chains that we used on Angel the last time he reverted back to Angelus."

Gunn stopped sharpening his sword and looked up at them suspiciously. "About how often does this dude go evil anyway?"

"Usually only when Buffy's around," Cordelia supplied helpfully, "but happens occasionally when there are other damsels in distress."

"Such as poor defenseless actresses that want to stay young and beautiful forever, so they slip happy pills in Angel's drink," Wes added.

Cordy nodded. "That about sums it up."

"Oh," Gunn said absently going back to sharpening his sword.

Cordelia glared at him. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"That!"

"WHAT?"

She gestured uselessly with her arms. "The sharpening of that sword! We'll just curse him again."

 Gunn threw the sword down. "Look," he hissed, "Angel once told me that I'd prove my trust if I could kill him."

"And he made me promise to kill him, too!" Cordelia shouted, "Angel likes being gloomy! We all know this!"

"Oh for the good lord's sake," Ethan Rayne sighed from the corner.

"SHUT UP!" they all yelled.

Cordelia walked up to Gunn and put a hand on his arm. "We need Angel, good Angel, more than we need him bad." Gunn stopped, and looked at a point above Cordy's head, mouth set in a grim line. "Buffy needs him," Cordelia whispered, well aware of Gunn's crush on the slayer. "We have to get him back, for her sake if nothing else."

Gunn finally groaned and threw down the weapon. He looked up at Ethan. "So how do we go about getting Angel's soul back?"

***

Buffy was humming softly under her breath as she rocked her little sister gently in her arms. Dawn looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. No nightmares threatened her slumber. Buffy was almost a little jealous. What she wouldn't give to have a night of perfect rest.

She tried not to remember how the nightmares weren't as bad when Angel was around. Her mind viciously reminded her that he was gone. And she might never get him back.

So she closed her eyes, and let the first tears slip out of them since the whole situation began. She wanted to curl up and hide. Wanted to forget that it was all happening.

For not the first time in her life, she was faced with a situation she didn't know how to fix. And none of the options would make things better.

She shoved her fist in her mouth, attempting to muffle her sobs. The last thing she wanted was to wake up Dawn, now that she was finally sleeping peacefully. So she cried against her hand, resisting the urge to bite down, and let the cool salty feel of the tears slide down her cheeks and neck.

"Now, Buff, don't you think it's a little late to be throwing a pity party?"

Buffy turned around sharply, surprise and fear written on her face. She stumbled off the bed and turned to face Angelus. He was leaning against the doorframe, looking as cocky and self-assured as ever. Shaking his head, he reached his hand out, "Have I ever told you that the red swollen eyes wasn't your best look?"

Buffy's eyes darted nervously around. She stood shakily in between her lover and her sister. 'Oh god, can't deal with this now, can't deal with this now, can't deal with this now…' 

"How did you get in here?" she asked, in a sob choked voice.

He smiled, stalking dangerously towards her. "Public building, love."

The realization of that hit her full force. All the people down in the waiting room…

"Dead," Angelus answered, seeing the sudden fear written all over her face.

Buffy tried her best not to gag. "No…" she whimpered. He'd killed more people. And it was all her fault. Her vision swam, and the floor rocked back and forth. She couldn't deal with this. "It's day…" she protested meekly, as if he might disappear. Like maybe she was the one who had fallen asleep, and any minute now Angel would shake her gently awake, kiss her forehead, and tell her that life was worth living.

He laughed. "You can't really be that naive to think the sun could keep me away from you."

She took in a steadying breath, trying not to concentrate on the way the room kept swaying and how she was tired. So very tired. "Angel…" she whispered in a pained voice. "I wish…"

Angelus clucked his tongue. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy…" he came towards her, gently touched one of her tear-stained cheeks. Vamped out. "It's so terribly sad, isn't it?"

She backed away from him. "Get away from me!" she hissed.

"It's so easy, Buff. I have to admit, killing you won't be nearly as much as it would have been three years ago." Angelus let out a pained sigh, looked off into space for a minute. "Doesn't mean I won't enjoy it any less…."

Buffy finally found some semblance of anger pooling in her stomach. Moving quickly, she grabbed the bedside table and broke off one of the legs. Holding the makeshift stake threateningly, she glowered at him. "If you think I'm going to let you near Dawn then you're wrong. Dead. Wrong."

Angel grinned. "She's so lovely lying there. Did I tell you how sweet her blood tasted?" he leered at her. "Although, not quite as good as her older sister's."

"Fuck you!" she spat, disgust curling in her gut.  But it was all in act. Because he was Angel. And she could never really hate Angel.

Angelus smiled, coming closer to her. Buffy froze, because they both knew she couldn't kill him. And her heart sped up at his nearness and she cursed herself because he could *hear* that. But she couldn't help it because he looked like Angel and she loved Angel so much and she wanted him so *badly*.

And Angel was still coming closer. She stumbled backwards; aware that she couldn't take him on with the condition she was in. He followed her still, grabbing her arm and roughly pulling her around to face him. Gripping both her arms, he pressed her firmly against his hard body. "There's nothing I'd like more," he breathed in her ear.

In spite of herself, Buffy shivered. "Let go of me," she commanded hoarsely.

"Is that what you really want?" he murmured.

His fingers were digging into her arms and his eyes were wild. With want, hate, or anger, Buffy didn't know. And she was so afraid because she wasn't sure if that was really what she wanted. Dawn. She needed to think of Dawn.

But it would be so easy… just let Angelus kill her… she could finally be free. Where there was no more pain, no more worries, and she could finally love Angel the way she always wanted.

"No!" she sobbed, trying to get a handle on her emotions. She couldn't let him kill any more people. He was *her* responsibility. She couldn't let him kill her.

Angel pushed his mouth to her in a bruising kiss that made Buffy want to throw up and sigh all at once. Emotions going crazy in her head, she struggled weakly to get out of his tight embrace. Finally, as if the slayer was coming back to her, she thrust her knee up into his groin.

He threw her away from him, and she crashed against the bed, waking Dawn up in the process. Her sister woke up groggily, then shrieked upon seeing Angel in the corner. "No, no, no, no," she whimpered incessantly under her breath.

Hearing Dawn's petrified voice gave Buffy more strength. She struggled back up and managed to glare threateningly at Angel. Her eyes blazed with fury and barely controlled violence.

"Get out of here," she breathed, rage in her voice.

Angelus smiled, but turned. "Until next time, lover," he called over his shoulder.

"There won't be a next time," she declared firmly. "I'll kill you, Angel."

But then he was gone. Dawn was awake and terrified. And Buffy didn't know if she would be able to fight back next time she saw him.

TBC