Title: Summer Sucks
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and adult themes
Characters: Hyde, Jackie, Donna, etc…
Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Budnik/Dina
Summary: That 70's Show and Salute Your Shorts crossover. The gang has to serve as camp counselors at Camp Anawana in order to complete their student service learning hours. Guess who they meet?
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. Don't Sue.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! That was very nice of you to take the time to give me your thoughts. It makes me smile and say, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood…" and that's just weird. By the way, did you no he died? Isn't that sad? Yes, it's sad. But that's not why I am writing this. Now, stop reading the author's note and read the fudging story. Right now. Go.
Dedication: My mom! Yep, my mommy. She puts up with me asking questions like, "Would you still love me if I became a murderer?" and "Mom, what's a douche bag?", just so I can get a crack out of my sister. And the fact that every other day I bring up the day she dropped the birthday cake at my sister's surprise party for her friend. And then Kristen ate it! Oh man, that was great. So mom, you are my new muse! Feel lucky, damn it!
"Dude, this is so weak," Kelso said sitting on his suitcase while Fez snatched the latches on it.
"Oh Kelso. Don't worry my mental friend," he said patting him on the shoulder. "I will be there to make your summer vacation Fezzy!"
Just then, Eric, Donna, Jackie, and Hyde came in with their luggage. Eric was having a little trouble carrying his fifteen pound suitcase, seeing as he was dragging it behind him and he was perspiring like a pig. Donna laughed at him and slung the bag over her shoulder. Eric blushed. The gang looked at Eric and Donna. Jackie, sensing the tension, spoke up.
"So, uh, is everybody ready?" she asked.
"I think so," Hyde said looking around. "Alright everybody! Move out." They all walked out of the basement and into Eric's driveway where Kitty and Red were.
"Oh Eric!" Kitty said, pulling Eric into a hug. "Don't worry sweetie! It's only for the summer. We'll see you in a couple months."
Eric, embarrassed by his mother's affection, waved to his parents. They all loaded into Kelso's van. Before they left, Red knocked on the passenger's seat window where Eric was sitting. Eric rolled down the window.
"And if I find out that any of you dumbasses did anything stupid, you'll have to answer to me," Red threatened. The boys' faces went pale and they all nodded. Slowly, the van backed out of the driveway and down the road. In the back, Hyde felt something on his shoulder. He looked to his left and saw that Jackie was asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped.
"She looks kinda cute when she's sleeping," he said, not knowing that everyone was listening.
"Who looks cute when they're sleeping?" Kelso asked him. Hyde looked at him wide eyed.
"Uh…I said that, um, Fez looks cute when he's sleeping," Hyde said without thinking. Donna and Eric laughed.
"Oh Hyde. You're cute too," Fez said, turning around in his seat to smile at Hyde. Hyde gave him a mean look, and Fez turned around quickly.
"But Hyde, Fez wasn't even sleeping!" Kelso said.
"Shut up Kelso. You don't know anything," Hyde said trying to get away from the subject.
"I DO TOO!" Kelso yelled. "I got an A in Home Economics. The purse I sewed was really pretty. So there!"
This was pretty much what it was like the whole ride there, Kelso saying something stupid, everyone making fun of him, then Kelso saying something stupid again. It was like an ongoing cycle. It was about 12:30 when they finally arrived at Camp Anawana. They all stepped out of the van, glad to finally get a chance to move after a stuffy hour drive. Just then, Counselor 'Ug' Lee walked up to them.
"Well, if it isn't my camp counselors in training," he said looking them all over. "Just a few ground rules. Everyone must be up by 7:00 AM, be in your bunks by 9:30 PM, and no complaining."
"Hey! Counselor Ug Lee. When you say your name really fast, it sounds like your saying ugly!" Fez laughed. Jackie jabbed him in the ribs. "Ouch! You evil midget, that hurt!"
"Um, sometimes I get a little homesick," Kelso whined.
"Hm… tough nuggets. Now, I want all your belongings into your bunks in 15 minutes, and then meet me in the mess hall. Someone puked this morning. Get moving," Ug instructed. They all groaned as he walked away.
"I gotta go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Hyde said walking off to find the little boy's room.
"Man, this bites the big one," Eric said right before a water balloon hit him right square in the face. Kelso pointed at him and laughed, only to get hit with a water balloon right in the butt.
"UAH!" Kelso screamed in that girly voice he reserves only for times like these. Then, what seemed like thousands of water balloons came flying at them, getting the whole gang, minus Hyde, wet.
"Oh my God! My brand new shirt is ruined," Jackie complained wiping her shirt.
"Alright, what little punk did this?" Donna said angrily, squeezing the water out of her hair.
"Oh brother! This camp isn't as super as I thought it would be," Fez cried. Just then Hyde came back from the bathroom and stared at them.
"Who did this to you guys?"
"That would be me," bragged a red haired boy wearing cut jeans and an Aerosmith shirt on. Hyde looked at him with an unreadable look on his face. The gang watched intensely, expecting Hyde to beat the kid up. Instead, he put an arm around him and laughed.
"You are my kind of guy! What's your name, kid?"
"Bobby Budnik, but everyone calls me Budnik," he said, "Or else."
"I'm Hyde. I have to do this camp counselor thing for school. What's it like around here?"
"It's like hell, man. Waking up early, going to bed early, getting detention when it's not even school…oh, and did I mention slavery?" Budnik said.
"Slavery?" Jackie piped in.
"Yeah. Ug makes you clean the mess hall, peel onions, and tortures you in every way possible." Just as Budnik said that, some of the campers walked up to them.
"Wow! What happened to you guys?" an overweight boy with a lisp asked, pointing to the gang.
"Let me guess, Budnik?" a sporty African American said with a roll of the eyes.
"That's the name, don't wear it out," Budnik said proudly. "Oh yeah, these are some of the loser campers. That fat boy over there with the lisp, that's Donkey Lips. That nerdy boy with the glasses is Sponge. The fruity guy with the pink shirt on is Pinsky. The sporty girl right there is Telly. The girl with the, "If You Cut Down A Tree I'll Beat You Up", tee shirt on is Z.Z. And the girl with the long brown hair is Dina," he said the last girls' name with an uncertain tone, but no one seemed to notice.
"Hey, I'm Hyde. That's Kelso, Fez, Eric, Donna, and Jackie," he also changed the tone of his voice when he got to Jackie, but again, no one seemed to notice. Then there was a round of 'Hi', 'Hey', and 'What's up?'
"Well we better be going. We got to put all our stuff away, then go patrolling for barf," Eric sighed.
"Your first day here and your already doing slave work?" Budnik laughed. "Well, that's gotta suck."
"Psh, tell me about it," Hyde muttered, following his friends towards the mess hall. The rest of the campers were left by themselves to discuss the newcomers.
"Well, they seem nice enough to me," Telly spoke up.
"Yeah, except that one foreign kid. He seems like a space cadet if you ask me," Sponge said, scratching his head, making him somewhat resemble a monkey. Budnik snorted.
"Hey man, you got no room to talk."
"Well that one girl, Jackie I think it is, seemed to have a great sense in fashion," Dina chimed in. "Maybe she'll let me borrow that snakeskin belt she had on."
"People have no right to kill snakes for fashion," Z.Z. growled. "It makes me and my werewolf ancestors look down upon you."
"Z, I worry about you sometimes. And besides, the snake was probably killed by natural causes. And even if it wasn't, who cares?" Dina shrugged.
"For shame, my friend, for shame," Z.Z. said while shaking her head. She then proceeded to howl like a wolf and then gallop off to her bunk.
"We better go after her before she starts scaring the little kids," Pinsky sighed while walking in the direction Z.Z. went in. Telly and Donkey Lips followed him, leaving Budnik, Dina, and Sponge. Dina rolled her eyes.
"Well, I'm off to get some sun," Dina said, running her fingers through her long hair. "I'll be by the lake if you need me." And with that, she sauntered off, with Budnik watching her until she disappeared completely. His head snapped up suddenly.
"Jesus Budnik. Snap out of it, man," he muttered to himself and then walked off to parts unknown. Sponge sighed.
"This is going to be one interesting summer," he said shaking his head.
How right you are, Sponge my boy. And hopefully interesting enough that it will keep everyone reading. Speaking of everyone reading, I just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter of this crazy fic:
Bunny: **Blushes** Well, I try…Thanks for reviewing!
Sugar-high: Thanks! I'm definitely going to keep writing this. Thanks for reviewing.
Dootz: Yes, I know. I miss it too. I'm sending a nasty letter to Nickelodeon telling them to quit playing Sponge Bob and Fairly Odd Parents and tell them to start playing the good shows, like Salute Your Shorts, Ren and Stimpy, and Alex Mack. Anywho, thanks for the review.
NotSure: You've never seen Salute Your Shorts? Oh man, you are missing out my friend. It's like the best show ever created. The only reason I ever wanted to go to camp, even though I kinda never did…but, ahem, thanks for the review.
Anonymous: Thanks Ug! Heh, just pulling your leg my friend. My sister would probably do the same. Well thanks for reading and reviewing!
ApprenticE to DarknesS: That would be pository my friend, postitory. Translation: Yes, my friend, yes. Referring to your question as to whether I will be continuing or not. I'm trying to sound smart, but I'm not. I'm failing chemistry. Thanks for reviewing.
DaRk-CoUnTeSs: I am in the process of writing the next chapter as we speak…or as we type I guess. Well technically, it would be as I type, but you know, I'm not a technical person. I'm rambling, so I'll stop. Thanks for the review.
Anonymous: Well, if you're reading this, the next chapter is probably already up. Unless something happens to my computer and it gets erased and then I get really mad and then tear my 'Timmy!' poster off the wall and then start crying because I ripped my 'Timmy!' poster. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Thanks for the review.
Joyful: I hope I'm not the only one who remembers this show! It's a fun show that should go down in the history of coolest shows ever. Pete and Pete rocked. Little Pete was cooler though, he stayed up all night without sleeping even when his friends bailed on him just to prove to his mom that he didn't need a bed time. Now Big Pete on the other hand, don't even get me started on him. But I'm not insane. Quimby is a cool name. I read a book called "Romona Quimby, Age 8". It was a cool book. Thanks for the review.
Fezlover: Oh my! You can't die waiting to read the next chapter cause it's up now and if you die you can't read it. I love Fez too. Thanks for reviewing.
Well, until next time kiddies…