Author's Rantings: I don't really have much to rant about today, except for the thoughtlessness of Passion's writers. I mean, really, why don't they have more shirtless scenes for the guys? I think they should just have a big random shirtless palooza one episode. If James C. Reilly happens to be reading this, instruct your writers to put in more shirtless scenes. Thank you, that is all.
Fox was dreaming of Whitney again. They were at the ice skating rink this time. Whitney was decked out in on of those cute little figure skating outfits that accentuated her long slender legs, among other features. She was trembling as she skated toward him, her gaze innocent but enticing as she coyly murmured, " I'm so cold Fox. I need someone to keep me warm."
Just as he was about to act out upon her request, someone was grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him roughly. " Fox! Fox, wake up!"
Whitney vanished from sight. Moaning, Fox opened his eyes to see Theresa standing over him, her eyes glinting with determination.
" Theresa, what are you doing here? It's only..." he glanced at his bedside clock, " nine o'clock in the morning. On a Saturday, I might add."
Theresa grabbed his hand and began pulling him out of bed. " Come on– we're wasting time."
" Ow– would you cut that out?" Fox cried, yanking his hand away from her. " For someone so tiny, you are freakishly strong."
" Sorry," Theresa gushed, though she certainly didn't look it, " I can't help it. I'm so excited."
He was tempted to burst into "I'm So Excited" a la Jesse from Saved by the Bell but thought better of it. " Yeah, I can see that. Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to little Miss Mopey from yesterday?"
" I went home and brainstormed all last night," Theresa explained to him, " and I came up with the perfect plan. It's brilliant, really. I don't know why I didn't think of it before..."
" Congratulations, Theresa. Really." Fox returned, yawning. " Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep."
He settled back down under the covers. " You can't, Fox!" Theresa protested, moving forward and throwing off his blankets. Fox groaned in protest. " You're an integral part of the plan."
" Can we talk about this later, Theresa?"
" Fox, please–"
" Look," Fox said, turning over to face her. " You know I support you, Theresa. I really do. I'm sure this is the plan to end all plans, because you're brilliant that way. But now is not the– "
" It involves you winning Whitney."
Fox sat up and propped himself against the headboard. " I'm listening."
Theresa smiled triumphantly. " Great. Now, in order to get Ethan and Whitney, you and have to...well, pretend to be a couple."
Fox looked at her quizzically. " You lost me."
" Just hear me out," Theresa returned, holding up a hand to silence him. " Ethan hates the thought of you and me even spending time together. If you and I were lovers– "
"–he'd go crazy." Fox finished for her. He was beginning to like this plan already. Anything that involved Ethan going off the deep-end was just dandy with him.
Theresa was beaming, now. " Exactly. And once he does, he'll realize that he truly loves me, and not Gwen. It's fool-proof."
Fox folded his arms. " All right. Sounds logical enough. But what about Whitney and me?"
Theresa eagerly seated herself on the bed so that she was facing him. " This is the really brilliant part. I realized that sooner or later, Chad and Whitney are going to become suspicious of you always hanging around them, trying to be their pal. Single, you're too much of a liability. But if you and I are playing make-believe couple, they'll see you as my boyfriend instead of an eligible bachelor."
Fox frowned. " And this is a good thing because..."
" Just hear me out," Theresa repeated. " I'm Whitney's best friend, right? Which means that if you're my boyfriend, you'll have much more excuse to spend time with her without Chad becoming suspicious in the slightest. Whitney will see you as non-threatening and the two of you will really be able to get to know each other. Once Whitney trusts you and likes you, you'll be free to make your move. Then, after we've played this whole couple thing out for as long as we need to, we'll stage a huge, vicious break up."
" Wait a minute," Fox interjected, " won't Whitney get mad at me for breaking up with her best friend?"
Theresa shook her head. " Not if we plan this right. In the version of the story that Whitney gets, I'll be the one who used and abused you. She'll suspect that anyway, since she'll know that I'm not over Ethan yet. And in the story that Ethan gets, you'll be the one who broke my heart. It won't be too difficult to convince him of that, since he'll think that you're going to hurt me from the very beginning."
" And since they're both so wonderfully and naively compassionate," Fox finished for her, " they'll come to comfort us in our times of need, and they'll be ours."
" Exactly."
Theresa watched him, waiting for a reaction. Fox thought over it for a moment, trying to find any flaw, and then grinned. " All right, Theresa. I'll get involved in this crazy scheme of yours."
" Don't act like it's such a revolutionary thing for you," Theresa teased in return. "You're a Crane. You've been scheming since birth."
" More like conception," Fox countered. " I wanted to make sure that my mother had the most painful childbirth possible."
" Were you successful?"
" Of course."
Theresa smiled at this. " Well, maybe Karma does exist, after all."
They were silent for a moment, smiling at one another. Fox abruptly broke the stillness by inquiring, " So how are we going to get this little show on the road? We can't just quietly inform everyone that we're in a relationship."
Theresa frowned thoughtfully. " No, you're right. It has to be something big, something flashy."
Just then, the doorknob began to turn as a shrill voice carried through the oak door. "Nicholas Foxworthy Crane, get your lazy butt out of bed this instant– "
Fox looked at Theresa and shrugged. " Well, here goes nothing."
And before she could respond, he had grabbed her by the arms and pulled her on top of him.
***
I thrive on reviews. Don't make me starve.
Fox was dreaming of Whitney again. They were at the ice skating rink this time. Whitney was decked out in on of those cute little figure skating outfits that accentuated her long slender legs, among other features. She was trembling as she skated toward him, her gaze innocent but enticing as she coyly murmured, " I'm so cold Fox. I need someone to keep me warm."
Just as he was about to act out upon her request, someone was grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him roughly. " Fox! Fox, wake up!"
Whitney vanished from sight. Moaning, Fox opened his eyes to see Theresa standing over him, her eyes glinting with determination.
" Theresa, what are you doing here? It's only..." he glanced at his bedside clock, " nine o'clock in the morning. On a Saturday, I might add."
Theresa grabbed his hand and began pulling him out of bed. " Come on– we're wasting time."
" Ow– would you cut that out?" Fox cried, yanking his hand away from her. " For someone so tiny, you are freakishly strong."
" Sorry," Theresa gushed, though she certainly didn't look it, " I can't help it. I'm so excited."
He was tempted to burst into "I'm So Excited" a la Jesse from Saved by the Bell but thought better of it. " Yeah, I can see that. Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to little Miss Mopey from yesterday?"
" I went home and brainstormed all last night," Theresa explained to him, " and I came up with the perfect plan. It's brilliant, really. I don't know why I didn't think of it before..."
" Congratulations, Theresa. Really." Fox returned, yawning. " Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep."
He settled back down under the covers. " You can't, Fox!" Theresa protested, moving forward and throwing off his blankets. Fox groaned in protest. " You're an integral part of the plan."
" Can we talk about this later, Theresa?"
" Fox, please–"
" Look," Fox said, turning over to face her. " You know I support you, Theresa. I really do. I'm sure this is the plan to end all plans, because you're brilliant that way. But now is not the– "
" It involves you winning Whitney."
Fox sat up and propped himself against the headboard. " I'm listening."
Theresa smiled triumphantly. " Great. Now, in order to get Ethan and Whitney, you and have to...well, pretend to be a couple."
Fox looked at her quizzically. " You lost me."
" Just hear me out," Theresa returned, holding up a hand to silence him. " Ethan hates the thought of you and me even spending time together. If you and I were lovers– "
"–he'd go crazy." Fox finished for her. He was beginning to like this plan already. Anything that involved Ethan going off the deep-end was just dandy with him.
Theresa was beaming, now. " Exactly. And once he does, he'll realize that he truly loves me, and not Gwen. It's fool-proof."
Fox folded his arms. " All right. Sounds logical enough. But what about Whitney and me?"
Theresa eagerly seated herself on the bed so that she was facing him. " This is the really brilliant part. I realized that sooner or later, Chad and Whitney are going to become suspicious of you always hanging around them, trying to be their pal. Single, you're too much of a liability. But if you and I are playing make-believe couple, they'll see you as my boyfriend instead of an eligible bachelor."
Fox frowned. " And this is a good thing because..."
" Just hear me out," Theresa repeated. " I'm Whitney's best friend, right? Which means that if you're my boyfriend, you'll have much more excuse to spend time with her without Chad becoming suspicious in the slightest. Whitney will see you as non-threatening and the two of you will really be able to get to know each other. Once Whitney trusts you and likes you, you'll be free to make your move. Then, after we've played this whole couple thing out for as long as we need to, we'll stage a huge, vicious break up."
" Wait a minute," Fox interjected, " won't Whitney get mad at me for breaking up with her best friend?"
Theresa shook her head. " Not if we plan this right. In the version of the story that Whitney gets, I'll be the one who used and abused you. She'll suspect that anyway, since she'll know that I'm not over Ethan yet. And in the story that Ethan gets, you'll be the one who broke my heart. It won't be too difficult to convince him of that, since he'll think that you're going to hurt me from the very beginning."
" And since they're both so wonderfully and naively compassionate," Fox finished for her, " they'll come to comfort us in our times of need, and they'll be ours."
" Exactly."
Theresa watched him, waiting for a reaction. Fox thought over it for a moment, trying to find any flaw, and then grinned. " All right, Theresa. I'll get involved in this crazy scheme of yours."
" Don't act like it's such a revolutionary thing for you," Theresa teased in return. "You're a Crane. You've been scheming since birth."
" More like conception," Fox countered. " I wanted to make sure that my mother had the most painful childbirth possible."
" Were you successful?"
" Of course."
Theresa smiled at this. " Well, maybe Karma does exist, after all."
They were silent for a moment, smiling at one another. Fox abruptly broke the stillness by inquiring, " So how are we going to get this little show on the road? We can't just quietly inform everyone that we're in a relationship."
Theresa frowned thoughtfully. " No, you're right. It has to be something big, something flashy."
Just then, the doorknob began to turn as a shrill voice carried through the oak door. "Nicholas Foxworthy Crane, get your lazy butt out of bed this instant– "
Fox looked at Theresa and shrugged. " Well, here goes nothing."
And before she could respond, he had grabbed her by the arms and pulled her on top of him.
***
I thrive on reviews. Don't make me starve.
