The Matrix Reconstituted Part 4


Ted casually strolled out of the phone booth taking in his surroundings. Trinity and Morpheus followed cautiously.

"Neo, did you just completely redesign the matrix?" Morpheus looked at Ted in awe.

"The matrix? Huh? We just travelled through time in a phone booth from the future," Ted explained. "This dude called Rufus gave it to me and my friend Bill so we could collect historical figures for our history report tomorrow. Hey, do you know Rufus? You all wear totally excellent sunglasses."

Trinity had not been listening very carefully as she was somewhat stunned by what had just happened, but when she heard Ted's last comment she looked up and smiled at him.

"You think I have excellent sunglasses?"

"Yeah, most triumphant!" Ted was pleased with this attention. Things were going well.

"I realise that sunglasses are an important part of our lives, but may I remind you that we are standing in the middle of what looks like a desert," Morpheus pointed out.

A tumbleweed rolled across their path. Ted walked onwards. The others followed.

* * *


Meanwhile, Tank was teaching the sentinels to play Rock, paper, scissors. Despite all their artificial intelligence, none of them had ever mastered the game. They were all thrilled by it. Tank did not hear Neo trying to call him because the music was still turned up too loud.

* * *


Neo put the phone down. He had been forced to use a phone booth as Morpheus still had his cell phone. He noticed that Bill was looking around anxiously.

"What is it?" Neo asked.

"Dude, haven't you noticed? The phone booth's gone!"

Neo turned his head to look at the phone he had just put down.

"It looks okay to me..." He looked again, just to make sure.

"Ted...I mean Neo, that's not the same booth!"

"The same as what? A phone booth is a phone booth. What difference does it make?"

"It's not just a phone booth! We've lost our way out of here!" Bill was almost shouting.

Neo looked at him in surprise.

"You mean, you've been unplugged too? Why didn't Morpheus tell me about this? Who's your operator?"

Bill pondered this for a while.

"Ted, what are you talking about? Who is Morpheus? What's an operator?" He thought of Rufus. "Oh, I guess Rufus is our operator. C'mon, Ted, you have to remember Rufus!"

"MY NAME IS NEO!" Neo was a little irritated.

"Okay..." Bill backed away slowly until he walked into Agent Smith. He ran.

"Mr. Anderson..." Smith strolled over.

"Have you got them?" Neo asked quietly. Smith handed over a pair of new sunglasses. He held out his empty hand.

"What?" Neo stared at Smith's outstretched hand.

"Now, Mr. Anderson, you didn't really expect me to do that for free, did you?" Smith raised his eyebrows.

"Uh...well, yeah, actually I did."

"You owe me $450 000, Mr. Anderson." Smith's hand did not move.

"You're a machine. What do you need money for?"

"I had a bet with another agent. I lost it." Smith remained utterly emotionless, though Neo noticed that his fist was clenched.

"I don't have $450 000 and if I did I wouldn't give it to you," Neo narrowed his eyes.

Smith raised his eyebrows again.

"Very well, Mr. Anderson." Smith punched Neo hard in the stomach.

Neo was bent double, gasping for air. Smith smiled and bent down to verbally torment him. As he let his guard down, Neo grabbed him by the neck and hurled him to the ground. Smith got up immediately and tried to punch Neo again, but was blocked. The rest of the fight was so fast that it cannot be described. Five minutes later, Neo jumped up in the air, preparing to kick Smith. The action stopped, the camera moved around, and just as it sped up Neo fell. Or rather, he should have fallen. He was actually hanging sideways in the air.

"Shit! My wire broke!" Neo yelled. Smith laughed and tapped Neo's leg. This caused Neo to spin around very fast in a circle. Smith laughed very hard and lost his concentration. During this critical moment, Neo's leg spun straight into Smith's face.

"YAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGH! You broke my new sunglasses!" Smith was fuming. By this time Neo had been freed. He ran.

* * *


After walking through the desert for a short while, Ted, Trinity and Morpheus came to an old town. The street was dusty and deserted. Ted thought of the Westerns he had watched in the past.

"Trinity?" Ted turned to face her.

"Yes?"

"Do you know Eddie Van Halen?"

"No, Neo, I do not know Eddie Van Halen," Trinity answered for the fifth time.

"Neo, come here." Morpheus beckoned Ted.

"Yeah?"

"If you're not going to tell us what is going on, could you shut up?"

"Um...OK." Ted grinned and ran over to Trinity.

"Neo?" Trinity looked at Ted.

"Yeah?"

"What happened to you when you wandered off?"

There was a pause as Ted tried to recall exactly what he had done.

"Well, I lost Bill and then I saw this bodacious dude with a lamppost. He knocked down a whole building with this lamppost and he looked just like me, but he was dressed kinda like you and he had totally excellent sunglasses."

Trinity listened to this with mounting concern. She politely excused herself and signalled to Morpheus that she wanted to speak with him.

"What's the matter, Trinity?" Morpheus asked.

"I think we may have picked up the wrong man."

* * *


"YOU BROKE MY NEW SUNGLASSES!" Agent Smith was screaming with rage.

"Well you're the one that spent $450 000 on them!" Neo yelled back.

Smith was somewhat surprised at this. Not at what Neo had said, but that he could hear Neo at all.

"Yeah, you can hear me. And I can hear you. D'you know how?" Neo yelled again.

"Yes I do." Smith raised his eyebrows. Again. He turned around to find Neo hiding behind his legs.

Neo looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Oops," he mumbled quietly.

"That's right, Mr. Anderson. Oops."

Smith was about to fight Neo again but he soon realised that Neo had fled as soon as he had been discovered.

"That was close!" Neo said to himself as he ran. He realised that he was running faster even than the Roadrunner of cartoon fame. He also realised that he was talking to himself.

"Oh no! I'm talking to myself!"

He then realised that he was still talking to himself.

"Look, I am not completely stupid, y'know? I may not be the most intelligent character in The Matrix but I can still tell when I'm talking to myself, and I think that my treatment here is..."

Neo was just about to call his lawyer when a very large 16 tonne weight fell on his head.

"This just...isn't...fair..." he gasped.

Then he heard the heavenly voice again.

"Neo. I know this isn't a very good story and I realise that you feel that your treatment in it is unfair, but do not try to get out of this. That's impossible. Only realise the truth."

"What truth?" Neo asked.

"Er..." The author thought for a moment. "I'll get back to you."

Neo shook his head in frustration.

"Oh wait. I got it. The truth is that in this story, I play God. I can control everything that happens to you and everybody else, so even if I allowed you to phone your lawyer, he could be a fish or something."

Suddenly a very large 16 tonne weight fell on the author's head.