Shadows to Radiance

"I have never felt like this before now my body's sinking to the grassy floor...", Quoted from Hunter's Kiss by Rasputina.

Crucifixus

Yugi came before school to see how Yami was doing so far. However, as Yugi walked up the hospital steps he felt something wrong deep down in his gut. He walked to the receptionist's desk, and the young woman turned to him so he could tell her what he wanted. "I am Yugi Moto here to visit my brother Yami Moto." Yugi informed her, "Could you please tell me his room number?"

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry." The woman replied. " We had to sedate him earlier this morning."

"Why?!" Yugi desperately wanted to know.

"He kept tearing out his I.V. even when we told him we were going to have to put him under sedatives if he didn't stop." The receptionist replied in a sorry tone. "He should be awake when you come later this afternoon."

"Thank- you." Yugi said, before leaving.

Yugi began to worry over Yami right after he left the hospital, he wondered why Yami would do such a thing to himself. It seemed so long ago both of them were happily talking about how much they cared for each other. What had happened? What had gone so wrong that Yami would want to hurt himself? Yugi felt the tears well up in his eyes as pain, confusion, and worry all were felt. He felt fear of losing and needing to protect Yami overwhelm him. 'I have to become strong for both of us right now.' Yugi thought to himself. 'I have to make sure Yami will survive this.'

....

Yami knew he had left the perfection of numbness when the nightmares started. First they were just dreams, but then he came into them. Yami screamed, but he just kept coming forward as Yami struggled to step back, until he tripped over his own feet, and fell to the ground. "Come here Little Pharaoh." He called to Yami holding out his hand.

"No, no, get away from me!!!!" Yami yelled at him.

"What have I told you? Have you learned NOTHING?!" He yelled.

The blow came as a sharp crack, causing Yami's face to be cut. "What have I taught you?" Seth asked, again demanding it.

"I- I am not important, I am unworthy of the love I have been given." Yami said in a straight tone.

He laughed, that eccentric laugh of his that had rung in Yami's ears so many times, so many terrifying times. "No, no please, no!" Yami yelled.

The booming of the crack came, but Yami's eyes shot open, and he sat up. Tears slid down his cheeks as he sat there. As if by some way of magic Yugi came into the room at hearing Yami's small outcry. "Yami, is anything wrong?" Yugi asked, concerned.

"J-Just a bad dream. I don't want to talk about it." Yami quietly explained.

"Yami, why'd you take out your I.V.? Do you want to be put into comatose?" Yugi asked.

Yami sighed, looking away from Yugi and to the window, remaining silent. "Do you want this?" Yugi asked.

"No, it's just hard to explain." Yami whispered.

"I want to help you Yami, but I can't if you don't trust me. Is that so hard to ask for? A little trust?" Yugi asked "Yami I'm trying the best I can, but I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong!"

Yami looked down at his white hands, before looking up at Yugi sadly. "Yugi, I...." Yami began then fell into silence.

"All right, I can see you're not ready to tell me. It's still too painful for you right now, I'm sorry. It's just this is hurting me burning me to see you like this, don't you understand?" Yugi asked.

Yami nodded before looking up as Yugi left. "I'll always love you Yami, you know that. The others are worried about you too." Yugi said to him with a faint smile.

....

It was a few weeks later before Yami was allowed to leave the hospital, of course he went right back into his puzzle the second he got back. "That's just Yami, I guess." Yugi said.

Everything seemed to be back to normal for the most part Yugi actually went to school without worrying about Yami's well being all day long. Yami seemed to get back into the usual helping Grandpa around the house, and shop type of stuff. Soon, none of Yami's friends even mentioned the incidents anymore. Yugi would still ask Yami if he felt all right plus, lightened Yami's usual workload of chores.

Yet, deep inside himself, Yami still felt the echoes of memories best forgotten. He started to spend less time playing games again, and more being alone. Yami started to spend more and more time inside his soul room, only to come out looking tired or uneasy. Yugi started to ask more questions of his darker half. To Yugi, it looked like Yami was getting thinner. Yami just excused it as Yugi's over concern making him think that.

....

Yami soon felt the pain, throbbing stronger than before, and he looked at himself in the mirror he'd hung inside his soul room decades ago. Yami looked around for anything sharp, anything at all.... Since Yami found nothing sharp, he decided the long curtains to his bed would work as a good noose to choke the pain back with. (You thought he'd smash the mirror, huh?) He felt the rush of oxygen leave him completely as he lay there, twitching from the effort. Yugi appeared beside him however, and cut the curtains loose. "Yami, don't do this to yourself, or me again." Yugi told him.

"Yugi, I- I want to be free from this!" Yami clamped his mouth tight.

"From what, Yami?" Yugi asked, concern in his voice.

"I can't tell you, Yugi, sorry." Yami said, quietly.

"No, Yami, I want to know what from?", Yugi said again, demandingly.

"You're worthless as anything but mine." the memory repeated inside Yami's mind.

"I.... I..... Can't tell you Yugi, sorry...." Yami whispered, before disappearing.

"YAMI! Yami....." Yugi said, hushed.

....

It was a couple days before Yugi saw Yami again, his body thinned down to the bone. "Yami!" Yugi exclaimed.

Yami looked different, his face had softened, and he seemed to be smaller, or was it just Yugi? "Yami, that's it, I don't care if you don't have to eat. I want you to, I want to see you eating." Yugi told him "Now you lay down, and I'll be right back."

Yugi ran to get something for Yami to eat. When he returned, Yugi found his Yami sleeping peacefully. "Goodnight, Yami..." Yugi said, before deciding to go into the guestroom to sleep.

When the morning sunlight hit Yugi's eyes, he rose and went downstairs. He really didn't feel hungry himself, but, he did feel like he should cook something for Yami. 'God, he looks thin.' Yugi thought to himself, as he came into the room.

"Yami, Yami.... Wake up, it's time for breakfast." Yugi whispered.

Yami's eyes fluttered open as he looked up at Yugi. "Yugi, what is all this food for?" Yami asked weakly.

"I want you to eat it." Yugi explained.

"But, I..." Yami started.

"I want to see you at least eat a little, Yami, you've gotten thin for some reason." Yugi whispered simply.

Yami ate a little bit of the eggs, the bacon, and finally the toast, before stopping. "Now, sleep some more, and I'll come back later to talk with you." Yugi explained.

....

As Yugi got dressed, he felt almost like his clothing had gotten smaller. He shrugged it off, though as a growth spurt. Soon, as Yugi got ready to head downstairs, he saw Seto, and Joey asking if they could see Yami. "No, he's asleep, and needs rest." Yugi explained.

"Oh, and how have you been?" Seto asked.

"Worried, Yami's gotten to be thinner." Yugi told the two.

"Don't worry Yugi, you and Yami will get through this somehow." Joey explained, concerned, "Just don't let Tea near him and he'll be fine."

Yugi chuckled at Joey's joke. "Do you have a cough or something?" Seto asked. "It seems like your voice is different."

"Oh, that just must be associated with my growth. I think I'm going through my maturing bit." Yugi explained.

"Right, that would explain it." Seto agreed.

....

As Yami was forced to eat to get better, the days seemed to float pass. Yugi, on the other hand hardly ate yet, remained the same as always.

One evening, as Yugi and Yami sat watching TV, and Grandpa was gone that all of a sudden, a man tried to break into the house. Yugi felt himself clutch Yami in a protective manner. And thinking of how he was going to save Yami from being hurt. However, the man ran off before completing what he had come to do.

Later, as Yugi went to bed, Yami came into the room, looking rather flustered. "What is it, Yami?" Yugi asked.

"I... Tried to go into the puzzle like I do at times.... I can't do it anymore." Yami whispered.

"What do you mean, you can't?" Yugi asked. "You can't go into the puzzle itself?"

"I can't go into it at all." Yami whimpered.

"Don't worry, Yami, I'm sure it's just because you still are healing." Yugi comforted him.

"Okay....", Yami whispered, falling into slumber.

"Goodnight, Yami.", Yugi whispered, kissing Yami's forehead.

End Chapter: May wonder why the heck I chose the title... Let's see, Seth caused pain to Yami, Yami's actions caused pain to Yugi, mainly because of Seth being cruel to Yami.... Next Chapter will be just a little more entertaining, and not so..... Slow.