Disclaimer: I don't own GAINAX, but the plot is mine

Author's rant:

Humor/Romance, enough said. What if Asuka switched places with Rei in the beginning?

Another Eva fanfic by Elliminist

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The switch

*****

Tokyo 2015

The angel called Sachiel was on its rampage to the Geofront.

A dark haired boy was walking down the street. Having just arrived in Tokyo 3 he was lost.

The secret agency NERV was running at full alert.

Continuous waves of military tanks and helicopters bombarded Sachiel, only to be destroyed.

The members of SEELE were discussing the fate of the world.

And where was the Supreme Commander of NERV at this time???

He was watching TV in his office eating pizza.

*****

PRESENTING: NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE SWITCH

Let us pan to the scene where Shinji meets Misato.

***** Ground Zero *****

Misato was driving around. Where the hell was that kid??

Shinji was looking for a payphone. Finding one, he dialled NERV.

"We apologise for the temporary disconnection of the telephone lines. Please dial again later"

"Damn!" Shinji placed back the receiver.

Shinji walked onto the road and stared into the distance for signs of that woman who send her the letter.

PHOTO: picture of Misato waving to the camera.

Shinji was so absorbed by the photograph that he didn't notice Misato driving at 100km/h towards him.

Misato was looking at the street map on her lap. She didn't notice Shinji on the road…

*** UH OH! *** CENSORED, PLEASE STAND BY ***

Shinji was lying on the ground, or what was left of him was on the ground.

***** AUTHOR SUPER SPECIAL TECHNIQUE *****

RESET!!

Shinji: Thank You

Author: Well, we have a total story to get on with don't we? The hero can't die yet.

***** END AUTHOR SUPER SPECIAL TECHNIQUE *****

Shinji was on the pavement when Misato drove by. Shinji shouted out and Misato stopped the car. She turned it on reverse, and drove back to Shinji. "Ah! There you are, get in!" Shinji hopped in. The angel Sachiel finished off the last of the military troops and continued the rampage.

Gendo had cleaned up his party in the office (The pizza to you perverts out there) and ordered the preparation of the Evas.

Meanwhile the members of the UN ordered the launch of the N2 mines.

***** N2 mine launched *****

Shall we skip the boring stuff???

OK!

Sachiel tramples houses like Godzilla.

Godzilla gets annoyed by public stereotypes of him/her.

Shinji and Misato nearly get trampled. They escape and enter the geofront.

Ritsuko walks briskly to the place where Misato and Shinji were going round in circles.

"Geez people, I thought you of all people, Misato, would remember the way into NERV."

"Shut up!"

"Um, what do I do now" (Father hasn't seen me in 10 years)

Now guess who said what.

Shinji exclaimed, "Hey, its dark in here"

Ritsuko merely replied, "That's the point"

Shinji blushed in embarrassment, "Oh"

***** In the secret part of NERV, which I can't be bothered finding it's name *****

Shinji see unit 01 for the first time.

Shinji: What is that thing??? (Searches in his guide frantically)

Ritsuko puffed up proudly, "This you won't find in there Shinji, this is project E. We have created Synthetic life forms called Evangelions. This is an Evangelion"

Shinji asked dumbfounded, "What are you doing with it???"

Ritsuko finished, "Well, it will be used to fight the angels you have seen today. And we called you because--"

"You will pilot it," Gendo's voice came from above all.

"Father," Shinji began.

"Hello, daughter" Gendo replied.

"Son" Shinji said blankly.

"Whatever"

The Author pushed the laughing techs off the side of the platform.

"What makes you think I will pilot it, father?" Shinji asked.

"I dunno, thought it was time for a little father-son bonding"

"Well I won't pilot it"

"That is most unfortunate, we shall send for the second child," Gendo ordered.

"Second child?" Shinji asked.

"But sir! Asuka hasn't fully recovered yet! She won't be able of fight properly," Ritsuko exclaimed.

"Irrelevant, modify settings for use by the second pilot," Gendo ordered.

Gendo then turned on a link to Asuka, "Second child,"

"Yes," the reply was emotionless.

"You are required for battle"

"Yes sir"

Asuka was seen a short while later in the plugsuit on a stretcher.

Shinji looked at her. Shoulder length red hair, Bright blue eyes, and fair complexion.

Asuka started to gasp for air and was in pain.

Shinji looked shocked.

***** OUTSIDE *****

Sachiel could be seen waiting for the Evas to launch. In a transcendental meditation position he hummed his mantra.

"Ah, Ah, ACHOO!" A particle of dust had settled on Sachiel's nose or whatever it was. A cross explosion projectile was heading for the geofront.

"Opps" was all Sachiel could say.

***** GEOFRONT *****

A rumbling was heard distinctly.

Lights flickered etc.

Suddenly the fluorescent lights gave way.

Shinji thought of one thing. Save the girl.

Pushing her away front the danger zone, Shinji was left exposed to die for Asuka.

Suddenly Eva unit 01's hand lifted up and deflected the lights away.

The lights flew in the direction of Gendo's office. Gendo was seen ducking from view as they came close.

The lights bounced of the office windows and hit some poor old person we don't care about much.

Gendo quickly composed himself in the ice-cold bastard mode when he saw the staff looking at him strangely.

Shinji quickly ran to Asuka. Asuka was on the ground, sprawled. Trying to support her up she cried in pain. Shinji lifted his hand to see her blood was coming out of the wound.

"I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away" Shinji told himself was he stood up. "I'll do it! I'll pilot it!"

***** In the Entry Plug *****

Shinji was in his plugsuit. The entry plug started filling. Shinji panicked.

"Calm down Shinji, the LCL won't hurt you" Ritsuko soothed.

"But I'll drown!" Shinji cried.

"The LCL will supply the oxygen," Ritsuko explained.

Shinji calmed down long enough to see the pretty colours. He suddenly found he could breathe more freely.

"Eva 01 ready" Hyuga reported.

"Launch Eva" Misato ordered.

Evangelion 01 launched to the surface.

Shinji stood face to face with the angel. It didn't seem so scary eye to eye.

"What do I do?" Shinji asked.

"Think about walking," Ritsuko said.

Suddenly the Eva's legs moved. However they were moving in a sort of Scottish dance.

"Okay, I'll think about walking" Shinji confirmed.

*****END OF CHAPTER 1*****

Tune in for Chapter 2

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