The Origin of Eds
By: Jaha Canon
Disclaimer: You know what? I still don't own the Eds. Does that surprise you?
Well, I wasn't originally planning to do the other Eds' POVs, but then ZephyrSamba mentioned that I should in the review and a couple other reviews got the idea that it was my original intention. Well, I found myself with some time now, so I guess I will.
Cactus Buddy: Peer pressure, huh?
Jaha: Yeah… anyways, you can thank Zeph for the next two chapters.
Ed's POV
I really don't understand mustard, I mean, why is it so yellow? And if you put mustard in the refrigerator, would it turn into a banana slug? Would it be a flesh eating mutant? And if so, would it take over the world? Would it eat Sarah?
I broke out of my train of thought. I had to save Sarah before the slugs got her. I rushed up the stairs from my room.
Sarah was in the kitchen with Jimmy. I ran to my baby sister, she was okay. She yelled at me for pushing Jimmy into the refrigerator.
"Nope, no time for that! As it is time for saving baby sisters!" I exclaimed. I picked her up and drove under the table and covered Sarah's mouth… just in time too.
We were invaded! I didn't see it but I could hear screeching and clawing coming from the direction of the refrigerator. When the inhuman screeching ended. I silently crept out of my hiding spot. After a quick look-around, I was in my happy place. I saved my sister.
'Sarah's going to be so proud of me!' I thought, I turned to Sarah. She was so proud she was growling with pride.
"ED, YOU IDIOT!" she screamed.
I grinned, "Your welcome!" It's so nice to be appreciated.
It was then when Sarah screamed: "GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK!"
My stomach growled, "…but Sarah! I'm hungry!"
Sarah was so happy, "THEN GET A SNACK THEN LEAVE!" she screamed as she turned away from me, crossing her arms.
Time for the fearless warrior to claim his award. I walked over to the refrigerator and decided that I was pretty hungry, so I took the whole thing. I guess I kinda broke the wall on my way out. I could hear Sarah screaming something about Jimmy in the refrigerator again. Why would Jimmy be in the refrigerator.
I walked to the park, and sat on the swings. Then I stared at my shoes.
"Hey! Come here!" I heard. I looked up to see some guy talking to someone.
I look behind me and wonder if he can see the elves too, nope, I don't think he has the power. He has a neat pile of junk though. I look under my shoe to try to find the person. No one there either. I opened my refrigerator and saw something. It looked at me with frightened eyes, shivering.
'AHHH! Leftover sushi!' I think as I slam the door shut. Sushi? I stop to think about this for a while… sushi.
I decide to go over to the guy, and tell him about sushi.
"Hullo! My name is Ed aka the man of sushi from planet Scotland!" I say.
Yep, I am good at explaining things. But this guy didn't get it. Foolish mortal!
"I'm Eddy. Why do you have that refrigerator?" the guy said.
I think for a while, why do these people ask such hard questions. Okay, okay! I think I got an answer!
"Baby sister told me not to come back" I answered chuckling to myself.
"Why do you have that refrigerator?" Eddy asked again.
Hmm… I guess that was the wrong answer. I think I bit longer. Oh! Oh! I got it!
"Sarah told me I can bring a snack" I said, he seemed to like this answer.
Then I started thinking about Christmas. Santa Claus is coming to town in only six months! I should start preparing the gravy…
And then Eddy said something like: "Big appetite you got there, big guy!"… or was it, "Merry Christmas!"
I liked the Christmas one better. I like Christmas. My favorite holiday next to Meatloaf night.
"You too!"
I decided to get off the Christmas subject and look at the pretty pile of junk Eddy had. I wish I had a pile of junk like that. I'd swim in it all day long. But then I noticed it looked kind of familiar.
"Is that the mutant from 'I Was A Mutant in the Park Near Your House' the sequel?" I asked, hopefully. Oh, I hope it is! I hope it is!
"No, it's a slot machine." Eddy answered.
"Next to my big toe it is" I said, yeah right, and I'm the Queen of Frosted Flakes!
I'm the queen of Frosted Flakes? I didn't know that.
I was still working on that thought when Eddy said another hard question:
"Hey, it's Ed right? Can I borrow your refrigerator?"
Uh oh! I think my brain is going to explode. First I discover I have royal cereal blood, next thing I know it the refrigerator is Ed, and borrowing is right! Left? So…. So…
"47?" I guess. It seems right to me.
I guess Eddy has the same way of showing happiness as Sarah, because he yelled "GIVE ME YOUR REFRIGERATOR!" really loud.
"Awww… that was going to be my next guess." I say. Really, it was! In fact, I think I saw something like that on a documentary on TV… or was it the Home Shopping Network? Something about refrigerators… and getting them. Oh well, no time to think about this, Eddy wants my snack. I pick it up and put it gently in front of him.
"EEOOOUUCHH!" Eddy shouted. I noticed then that the refrigerator was on his foot.
"Whoops, sorry!"
Eddy tried to pick up the refrigerator, but I guess he decided because it was my snack I should carry it.
"Hey Lumpy, want to help me move this refrigerator?" he asked. Such a nice guy. I picked up the refrigerator and brought it over to the pile of junk. Then I turned and saluted and Eddy said ""Good work, private."
Then another guy walked up, he had a hat.
"Messy messy messy!" he said.
He and Eddy got into an argument about the pile of junk, I stood there, smiling blankly.
"Well, let's see you improve it." Eddy told the new guy.
The guy walked up to the pile of junk and started telling me to move things for him. This pile of junk is starting to look really pretty. But Eddy said something about ruining it and turned away.
The guy opened my refrigerator and gasped. He pulled the sushi out of the refrigerator. I almost warned him to beware of rotting seaweed when I realized that it was just Jimmy… boy was he shaking a lot. The guy asked Jimmy if he was alright, but then he saw me and was so happy to see Sarah's big brother that he ran away.
"COMPLETE!" the new guy said. I looked at the junk, it was really cool now. It looked just like a slot machine.
Then the new guy started talking and I didn't understand a word he said. Funny guy, talking jibberish. I was going to reply in his native tongue and say "Blah blah blah to you too!" when Eddy walked up and said that it was okay.
I started pretending to be a plane, flying to this new guy's home planet where they understand him. Then he said his name was Edward… THEN MY BRAIN STARTED GOING!
If there are three Edwards, and one is Ed, and another is Eddy. Then one should be Edd- but that's my name only with two Ds, like Double D. I'd better explain this to them…
"If I am Ed then I am Edward, but if Edward is Ed, then Edward is me and I am Edward which is kind of like Eddy who is also Edward who is Ed and Eddy so if there were two Ds in Ed, than that would also be Edward so you should be called Double D!"
I am so good at explaining things, I should be a professor of buttered toast science at the local university!
Eddy said he liked the name, so I was in my happy place.
So me and my pals Double Dee and Eddy got some money from the kids and we bought these round candies and they were good.
-End of Ed POV-
Jaha: Wow… this was really hard. Usually Ed POVs make absolutely no sense at all, and when they do, they seem REALLY out of character. I was trying to portray Ed's thought process in the simplest way possible and still keep his character. Did I do a good job, Cactus Buddy?
Cactus Buddy: *blinks* I don't know…
Jaha: Neither do I really. The readers will know though! Please review!
