The Origin of Eds

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I don't own the Eds and their neighbors… still.

Jaha: Alright, time for the last part of the story!

Cactus Buddy: Let's see if this is any good.

Jaha: Well, if it's not I'll just delete it and pretend it never existed.

Cactus Buddy: *blinks* That's an interesting way to handle it.

Edd's POV

I never really thought about going outside and socializing with the other kids. Most of the time they play sports, and I'm not very good at those. And I'm sure they couldn't possibly be the type of people who would find my ant farm or my butterfly collection interesting. You would think I would have to put up with constant parental nagging telling me to go outside to get some fresh air, and maybe some exercise. However, my parents' jobs require them to leave early in the morning, then return late at night… so there is a lot of cleaning to do. I don't mind, cleaning is a hobby of mine- well, actually it's more like a comfortable routine that I wouldn't feel right abandoning. I am a horrible creature of habit. Sometimes I wish I could break out of my neurotic routine once in a while, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

The most I am ever going to break out of routine anytime soon would be to take a walk. It wouldn't be a long one if I were to now, because it is going to be time to shampoo the rugs in 10 minutes.

10 minutes, what am I to do until then? This has already caused a terrible disturbance in my daily process, but I feel like I should be enjoying this. Maybe a stroll is in order. I step out of my house and briefly ponder over whether I should have sunscreen for my visit to the outside world. I'm just going to be out for 10 minutes- no more. It is a nice day, I really should have brought my binoculars to see if I could identify any of the birds, but I already decided on a walk.

I stood there and took in the world outside my front door for a couple seconds. I really do have a "going outside" problem, don't I? My skin is a unnaturally pale shade. I was distracted from my thoughts when I saw a boy my age walking down the sidewalk across the street for me.

I read this book recently, "Making Friends. Having a Social Life." You see, I enjoy having books covering several topics, just in case I may need the information someday. I am about to call across the street to get his attention when I notice that he is carrying a refrigerator.

'Perhaps it is broken and he is seeking assistance in repairing it' I think briefly. I see him walk with a vacant expression past the houses and around the corner.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there a park there? Why would some bring a refrigerator to a park?

Not forgetting I'm to be home ten minutes from now, I debate whether I should follow him. I wouldn't want to be intrusive, but curiosity is getting the better of me.

'Well, I'll just see what he's up to and head right back.' I think as I round the corner. My thoughts of shampooing rugs came to a screeching halt when I saw before me…

An gigantic thrown-together accumulation of worthless litter placed in the middle of the playground. A horrible collection of misplaced household appliances and random objects that not even I- a genius -can identify within the clutter! The boy who had the refrigerator was looking with awe, waving his arms as if he were swimming. Another boy was looking at it with an overwhelming pride washed over his face.

"Messy messy messy" I commented before I could think about what I was saying. The other boy spun around to see me with a offensive glare. I jumped back with surprise.

"Mess? This is a grade A scam you're looking at!" he told me.

He's kidding, right? I hardly think that any teacher would give ANY student an A for something as disorganized and sloppy as this- wait, did he say "scam?"

"What is it?" I asked.

"A slot machine." he said with a lot of pride.

It doesn't look a thing like one, but I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.

"I guess it could be a slot machine." I said, squinting. I wish I were less honest and more convincing. I really didn't want to him to get angry with me again, but I guess I did.

"Well, let's see you improve it." he replied, gesturing towards his *ahem* creation.

I was going to politely decline, but looking at it, I was suddenly inspired. Yes, I think this will work! I began making some "slight" alterations-changing just about everything. I asked the boy who had the refrigerator to help me move some things. I figured since he was strong enough to carry the refrigerator around, he wouldn't have any troubles helping me out a little.

While ignoring calls of "Hey! You're ruining it" from the guy behind me, I heard a weak scratching from the refrigerator that has made it's way into the soon-to-be-slot-machine. I opened it and gasped as I saw a pale boy with a retainer frozen, staring at me with terrified eyes. I pulled him out and asked him if he was alright. He took one look at the guy who carried him to the park (who I am now figuring is not too bright) and ran off. He shouldn't have done that in his condition. Oh well, I had a project anyways.

I finally finished, "COMPLETE!" I say. I must say that I am pretty impressed with myself right now.

"Although I don't approve of the habit of wasting money, nonetheless, I think I did a good job." I continued, wiping sweat from my forehead.

"It's okay…" the stubborn boy said, he seems impressed though.

"I'm Edward, by the way," I said, figuring my daily routine can wait just for once, "and you are?"

"Names Eddy, that's Ed over there." said the stubborn one. I guess Eddy and Ed had just met too.

Ed ran up to us pretending to be a plane, I stifle a laugh.

"Hello, you must be Ed. I'm Edward." I say.

Ed seemed to think about something for a while:

"If I am Ed then I am Edward, but if Edward is Ed, then Edward is me and I am Edward which is kind of like Eddy who is also Edward who is Ed and Eddy so if there were two Ds in Ed, than that would also be Edward so you should be called Double D!"

He sounded just like a math teacher I once had who would use the same tone of voice when he reached a exciting conclusion in a problem. But for once I feel like one of those confused students who have no clue where the conclusion came from instead of the brainy one who has followed every step in the equation.

Right now, I'm too busy thinking about my new name. Eddy seemed to like it a lot, but I've never had a nickname before, but I agreed anyways.

Next thing I knew it, I was building a casino around that slot machine. I soon learned what Eddy's goal is in life, to get money from the kids to buy candied spheres called Jawbreakers. I didn't understand it until I tried one.

I have a confession… I didn't shampoo the rug that day…

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Jaha: Hmmm….

Cactus Buddy: You don't know what to say, do you Jaha? You don't know what to think of this story…

Jaha: *nods*

Cactus Buddy: Don't worry, readers, she'll figure it out.

Jaha: *stomach growls* haha, I'm hungry. *giggles*