Disclaimer: As always, the characters are all borrowed for this non-profit fic and are owned by Craig Bartlett and Nick and such. I also added a line from Harry Potter (perfect for the point I used it in and I couldn't think of a better line for that moment) which is owned by J.K. Rowling and her people.

A Perfect Life

Epilogue: A Shaded Future

Helga never showed up. Not during my grad night. Not for the summer. Not for my first day of college either. I began feeling completely alone again. I was on the verge of being kicked out of college. No one could help me.

I cut myself off from the world and waited. I don't know why though. I lost my faith and my hope for a better future. "Things aren't going to be better, are they?" I kept telling myself. Eventually, I drove even Gerald away. I was unapproachable and intended on staying that way. I couldn't feel anymore. Emotions were a blur I wanted to wipe from my eyes but couldn't.

I began skipping classes. What was the point? I would never become anything important so why should I waste everyone's time? I remembered something Phoebe once told me. She said that no matter how down I was feeling, it could always be worse and that I should make the most of my day because every moment is precious. Besides, you never know when you'll die, and once you do, that was it; no second chances.

I laughed mentally. All I wanted to do was die. Give in to the pain I was feeling so deep inside. I had pushed the feeling so deep inside my body was like an imperishable stone, unable to warm up, unable to feel. My limbs were constantly numb to the wind and my eyes were always closed, no matter how open they appeared to be. I could hear nothing but ringing, could smell nothing but decay, and could taste nothing but bitterness.

One day, I woke up and realized that this daily routine was pointless. I wrote my own goodbye letter, much like Helga had done the year before, but I wrote it to an anonymous person, another dark face in a crowd of strangers. I left my room for what I felt would be the last time, without glancing back at the life I was leaving.

I traveled the subway systems until I found myself at my favorite retreat; a small park in the ever growing metropolis. Once there, I walked until I came to a bridge. Below me, icy waters, from the chilly February morning, were swept under the layers of ice that covered the top, bringing each molecule of water to an impending doom. Stone cold, just like me…

I imagine my acquaintances, Gerald, Phoebe, Grandpa, Grandma. I choke as a tear runs down my cheek. I thought I would never feel again. Sadness overtakes me. I climb the barrier on the bridge, holding onto a lamppost and looking down. The wind blows and the cool air keeps any possible eye-witnesses indoors. The faces of the strangers I once called family stare, shouting out words I can not hear. My attention is returned to the rapid river flowing at a constant speed below me. One step. One step is all it takes for me to end this.

I've messed up. I've hurt those I cared about. When Gerald needed encouragement I pushed him away. When Phoebe needed reassurance, I ignored her. When my grandparents tried to help me, I dug my own grave. I am overwhelmed with grief. They all wanted to help me and I wouldn't let them. I decided that I wouldn't hurt anyone else. I let all of them down. It was time for me to stop this. To stop hurting everyone close to me. To stop causing all this pain. It started ten years ago with Helga and went down hill from there. Everyone would be better off without me. With that one last thought, I lifted my foot from the barrier and stepped forward.

However, before I could throw my weight forward, I heard someone crying. I stopped and looked around. On a bench nearby I saw the person's who was crying. It was the innocent voice of a nine-year-old girl. She wore a pink dress and a pink bow in her hair. She was a familiar stranger to me. I turned around and jumped onto the security of the bridge. I was lured to the girl. I stopped beside her and sat down.

The bench was cold to the touch and with every tear that fell from the girl's eyes, a new sense of pain seemed to emanate from the bench. "What's wrong?" I asked.

The girl took staggering breaths with every word she spoke. "I… just… can't understand… how you could… how you… could… just throw away your life so carelessly!" she finished.

I didn't know what to say until I finally said her name, "Helga." I realized who was sitting in front of me. The same girl who abandoned me; who broke her promise and left me hanging out to dry. I feel anger building up inside of me. "You left me!" I yell. " You promised to come and you never showed up!"

"You're wrong," she answers me in a timid voice.

"Oh, Really?!" I reply, trying to get a proper answer out of her.

"You're wrong," she repeats, "because I was there, as I will always be; in your heart. You may not always see me but I will always be there and in the worst of times, you can trust that I will be watching over you."

I am a little shocked by her answer. "Arnold, it doesn't do to dwell on the past and forget to live. You don't have to forget Helga, just remember her and what she cared about. She cared about you. She didn't want you to be sad. She made a bad choice but you can't bring her back. Unfortunately, she never had anyone there for her. No one to tell her not to do it. No one to advise her differently. But you can't save her now. You can only remember her and honour her memory. Arnold go back. Back to your family and friends. Back to your life and be happy. I may not always seem to be around, but I'll always be here," she finished by placing a hand on my chest, over my heart. And soon enough afterward, her body faded. The last thing I saw of her was her warm smile across her face.

I sat there a while longer and eventually returned to my dorm. I packed my things and left. I had decided to go on some kind of soul searching journey, after I patched things up with my friends and family of course. I also visited Helga's grave one last time to say goodbye.

I learned a lot from Helga. She taught me to live. She taught me what true friendship is. She taught me that no matter how down you feel there is always a blue sky above you. She taught me that there is always someone there who cares for you, even if you feel like the loneliest person in the world. And she taught me just how perfect my life is, not because everyday is the first day of the rest of my life, but because I can see the flaws in everyday and can learn to enjoy the bad with the good.

~ The End ~

Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I finally finished. J J J

Comments would be greatly apreciated and very helpful for my future stories.

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

~ Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy