"I simply refuse to write any more fanfiction" Duo said with crossed arms.
"Amen to that! You literally blew up the last chapter" Heero said re-reading the review.
"Oh look whose talking" Duo snapped.
When The Authoress Loses It!
Chapter three: Fetching the Authoress
Far Away
Raven stands at the edge of a cliff facing the sank kingdom! She pushes one button and the whole of Relena and Dorothy's headquarters' of stalkers blow up into smithereens.
Raven: MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!
"Hey guys! Raven just assassinated Relena and Dorothy" Trowa said.
Everyone: HURRAYY!!!
Raven appears on screen "people of earth, I am Raven, and I have taken over the Sank kingdom, I hereby declare war over the colonies, Why you ask? No apparent reason! I just want to pick up a good fight! AND RULE THE WORLD!!MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
"Okay! Now I guess we really have to do something" Duo said making himself some coffee
"I agree" Heero. "There's no telling what she might do considering you two have the same IQ level"
"Finally someone agrees with me" Wufei sighed.
"She really needs to work on her speeches" Quatre said thoughtfully.
"QUATRE!" Duo yelled "We have a MAJOR problem here and all you can think of is speeches"
"At least they aren't as boring as Relena's" Heero said.
"Good point, we better get going now" Quatre replied.
"TO THE GUNDAMS" Quatre said dramatically while Trowa and Wufei trailed behind leaving Heero having to drag Duo behind who was finishing his coffee.
****
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, this can be a problem" Trowa said
"Not just a problem Barton! BIG problem" Wufei said staring at the empty space between Wing Zero and Heavyarms. That space should have been occupied by Deathscythe.
"Raven has an awful taste in Gundams, she should have chosen Nataku" Wufei said.
"YOU IDIOT!! WE A HAVE A PROBLEM COMING UP AND ALL YOU THINK OF IS YOUR OVERSIZED EGO" Quatre yelled.
"We've got to distract him" Trowa said. "Somehow" he added sheepishly.
"ITAI!! HEERO QUIT PULLING MY BRAID!! IM COMING"
"Everyone out the hanger NOW" Quatre yelled?
"Baka!" Duo growled throwing a dirty look towards Heero who went ahead towards the hanger, "Hey what are you guys doing outside the hanger" Duo said looking at the other four who were standing in a line army style as if Lady Une was coming to inspect them, not to mention sheepishly grinning.
"Someone, say something" Trowa said through gritted teeth.
"DUO!! HI! HOW ARE YA PAL?" Wufei said as if spotting Duo just now "LONG TIME NO SEE!!" he said slapping Duo on the shoulder, "You see we have no need of the Gundams right now so we are using the car!"
"WHOA! Wu-man you alright" Duo said astonished by his sudden change in behavior.
"ME! Never been better" Wufei said putting an arm round Duo's shoulder.
"Hey! Where's Deathscythe?!" Heero said from inside the hanger. And these words rang into Duo's ears, repeating, repeating and repeating.
"Oh! Shit" The others said [big sweat drops appearing] Heero came out to see what caused the sudden silence, he turned to see the other pilots frozen in their tracks, while Duo's brain was interpreting what Heero he said.
"What?" Heero asked looking around. But Quatre just mouthed the words 'you are sooo gonna pay for this'
*****
"Now Duo calm down, I'm sure your buddy is okay" Wufei said assuring him.
"CALM DOWN? WHILE A GOOD FOR NOTHING AUTHORESS HAS MY GUNDAM! ARE YOU INSANE???AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He bellowed tearing his hair out of their roots. In the background Quatre had Heero pinned to the ground while the others beat the crap out of him.
"HEERO YOU MANIAC, THIS IS GOING TO LAST FOREVER" Quatre yelled at the shocked and pinned pilot.
"How was I supposed to know what you guys were doing!!??" Heero said.
"YOU"RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW" Quatre shouted "YOU ARE THE PERFECT SOLDIER"
"Well I'm not a mind reader" Heero said as he tried to get Quatre off of him.
*****
Elsewhere
Raven makes her way to the white house and became the current president since the people liked her so much (and because she threatened them with Heero's buster rifle) she made this statement,
(J.A: THIS IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, REMEMBER, and the places are jumbled up)
"People of the pitiful planet earth, I am the new ruler of the earth's sphere as Relena took a hike and retired, I have made some alterations in world law and order. Fail to obey them then Omae o korosu (death glare ©). First of all, all examination for anything are abolished, all monthly assessments in schools are abolished, and school principles should not be over 16 or less, it is by law now that everyone should have at least five cups of coffee a day, lawyers should find a different thing to sue instead of innocent authors and authoresses so that they would not have to continuously write the damned disclaimer stuff and waste energy and precious time, people who have freaky cockroach like eyebrows will be immediately taken to jail as a reminder to get their eyebrows made. Gambling is now legal, but restrictions over alcohol will stay, and finally, stress over having to study will not be necessary because on second thought, schools are abolished from now. Sporting and other curriculum activities though will continue, ROCK ON PEOPLE"
All the children in the world cheer at hearing schools are finished and they won't have to study no more. So that now the TV's are off and people are off to enjoy life.
Raven sits back in the comfy chair when the door bursts open and in comes a VERY angry Duo followed by the others.
"YOU" Duo said filled with uncontrollable rage.
"Okay Raven just come on back quietly with us" Quatre said.
"Like that'll work" Raven says.
"Yeah Quatre that was lame" Trowa said. The blond just shrugged.
"YOU!!!" Duo shouted.
"Me???!!!" Raven asked.
"I think that point is cleared" Duo said calmly, but it lasted for a minute.
"WHERE IN HELL IS DEATHSCYTHE" He blared.
"Why are you asking me if you know its in hell, go check there?" Raven remarked cheekily. This flared up the God of death even more, losing his Gundam was bad enough, but getting sarcastic remarks from the insane Raven, and that too a GIRL was beyond anger. The others backed a little as Duo was radiating heat waves, you could see the steam coming out too.
"WHY YOU LITTLE F _ _ _ _ _ _! M _ _ _ _ _ _!! PIECE OF _ _ _ _!!!!!" He shouted, Quatre meanwhile had fainted because of all the swearing.
"I'LL TEAR YOU APART!!" Duo again shouted.
"You'll never catch me alive!!" Raven said more like Mr. Burns in the Simpson's, and with that she jumped out the window of a ten storey building, rope still attached to the desk. Duo sighed at the authoress's stupidity and "borrowed" Heero's gun and shot the rope. From outside you could hear the following:
"OWW!! OWW!! D_ _ _! That HURTS!! OW! EEP UGH!! (Crack! Snap!) OWWWWW!! MY LEGG!! STUPID GUNDAM JUST HAD TO BE IN THE WAY OF MY F_ _ _ _ _ _ FALL!! OWWW!!" Howled Raven from outside, all broken and battered by the fall. Inside the building, everyone stared at Duo in awe, Quatre was still unconscious.
"Well," he began "Mission accomplished, now to get my dear Deathscythe"
On the road to home…
"Hey guys thanks for bringing me back to my sane self" Raven said as they carried her home. "I promise I'll never drink coffee again"
"Amen to that" The other four pilots said together. Duo had decided to come back in Deathscythe. Not much of a surprise.
"You know, I really need to go to the hospital" She said feeling the broken bones. They others just grinned, most prominent smile was of Heero. Realizing the cause of why they were smiling Raven exclaimed horrified,
"YOU WOULDN'T!!!??? "
"Oh yes we would" They said together.
Back at home…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! STOPPPPPPPPP!!!" Raven cried as Heero popped her arm back into the joint. Duo was in the garage spending "quality time" with his beloved Gundam.
"No more caffeine for you" Quatre said locking up the last reserves of Coffee.
"Yeah! Yeah! No need to convince me!" Raven said in pain as Heero bandaged one arm. Only two more legs and one more arm to go!
"I hate you people" Raven sniffed!
The History Exam
"Okay children" The teacher said. "You may begin the paper…now"
Raven turned the paper around and was shocked looking at it!
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS" Raven yelled making the teacher jump!
"That my dear" she said controlling her anger "Is your Biology exam"
"But today was supposed to be History!!??" Raven said shocked and in panic.
"Perhaps if you read the date sheet my dear, you would have seen that History was on 2nd June, your last paper, and not 17th May, your first exam"
Raven: O_O
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" She yelled.
Far away!
*Snicker! Snicker!*
"Poor girl" Duo said. The G-boys were watching this scene as they had planted micro cameras in the class room for who knows what purpose!
"But Heero it was really mean of you to change her date sheet" Quatre said concerned.
"I still will show no remorse" Heero said smirking, "I enjoy her misery"
"Whatever, she will extract her revenge out you know" Quatre said.
"I know" Heero said still calm as he watched the authoress throw a tantrum. Quatre looked around to see that nobody was sympathizing with Raven so he gave up and asked,
"Does anyone want popcorns?"
The end!
Raven: Do you want to know the revenge? If yes please state so in REVEIWS!!!
