Disclaimer: © JK Rowling and everybody else, nothing's mine
Notice: I'm german, so please excuse any grammatical mistake and something like that.
Hidden and Alone
I see you... but nevertheless I don't know who you are. We had hours, days, weeks... a time in which you gave me more than I considered it could be possible. For the moment I ask myself why love hurts in such a way?? Actually I should be happy and actually I should walk through the halls of Hogwarts, with a smile on my lips and merrily whistling. Always out to see you somewhere and my eyes would win more at gloss, than they already have. Why don't I do it then?
I see you sitting over there... surrounded by your lackeys. People, who adore you but they don't know you like I do. They see the outward appearances, but nothing of the storm and the inner conflicts deep inside yourself. I see them when I look into your eyes.
There were times I have felt pure luck when I have seen in your expressive eyes. I have seen ourself in it, you and me. But also the doubts, the fear, your whole emotional life and what happens in you. And this should be suddenly past? Was I only a quick adventure for you? Somebody with whose feelings you could play without being in danger to loose yourself?
I tried to make you happy, to get the stars from the sky to you which shines so unattainably in the black night sky. I just notice now how naive, how blind, how silly I was…
I thought you love me. At least you had given me the feeling you would do it. You gave me confidence, trust, security and hope.... Was it just a game for you?
I remember... remember how nervous we were when we first met. The first meeting, far away from obligation, distrust and any kind of "we must behave in that way everyone expects as we behave". Far away from everything what existed, but might not be. We were just Ginny and Draco. Two humans, who met and could be together in silence.
I still feel the first touches which we gave ourselves. And I also still feel the hidden looks from you which studied me, when you thought, I would not notice them. But I did....
And I still feel your silver-white-blond hair in my face when you kissed me gently. The tender kiss as an answer when I said that I love you.
You were the first for me, and you will remain the last. Even if it has been only a nice time for you, for me it has meant more. Even if it means that I play the calm and happy girl, even if it means that I will not show how much your behaviour hurts. I must be strong, so that you don't see that you are the reason why my heart has been broken.
