Severus Snape made his way slowly down the slimy stone steps to his
classroom, lost in thought, not even noticing a few late pupils slipping
nervously past him. The class had been scheduled to begin three minutes
ago, but Snape always made sure to arrive a little after the last
straggling students, the better to startle them as he slammed the door and
swept in his batlike way to the front desk.
This morning, Snape was distracted; usually, prior to the first Potions lesson of the new school year with Potter and his entourage, Snape was focussed entirely on that - making sure Potter did not get above himself, trying to suppress Granger's infuriating know-it-all tendencies, which were liable to get her hurt one day (as he knew from experience). Preventing Longbottom from causing havoc, clearing up following the wretched boy's inevitable disasters despite Snape's efforts, and keeping Malfoy happy effectively took up the rest of the lesson. It was a wonder he had any time for teaching. But today, Snape could hardly bring himself to care. His thoughts were entirely focussed on something else.
Snape was thinking about his brother's eyes. Bright black eyes, much like his own, but without the curious glitter, which had not appeared in Severus' eyes until after he was blood-bonded to Lucius Malfoy - according to Malfoy, Snape's eyes had flashed grey for an instant during the ceremony. In moments of strong emotion that glitter returned, as though to remind Snape of the fact that he was not free, could never be alone - he was after all bonded, in different ways, to not one wizard but two.
Sejanus' eyes had been different; they had not glittered, perhaps, but they had certainly sparkled, especially when he smiled. At least, they had before. Now they seemed strangely empty; dark, silent, inexpressive.dead. Severus suppressed a shiver, then threw off his anxiety irritably, replacing it with annoyance. Unnecessary anger was hardly productive but it was better than the hideous sense of helpless foreboding which filled him whenever he let his guard down. That feeling was far heightened now, with Sejanus in the castle. All he wanted to do, all he had ever wanted to do, was keep his young brother safe; but it was one of Snape's greatest fears that someone would find out to what lengths he had been willing to go to do so. Someone other than Dumbledore, of course - Dumbledore knew. Snape had no secrets from him, or so he told himself in a firm voice. But at the back of his mind a thought nagged at him, a thought he pushed away grimly and refused even to countenance.
Snape forced his mind back to the present situation as he flung open the door of his classroom and charged in, robes billowing, startling the pupils. Longbottom squeaked in alarm, and Snape flashed him a dark look as he stormed to his own desk. However, his new-term speech was interrupted that morning; he had barely opened his mouth to hiss at the students that they would be studying the properties of a complex potion used to repel certain curses, when he spotted Sejanus lounging in a corner, casually examining specimens.
"Hello, Severus!" He said brightly, coming over. "Dumbledore told me to sit in on as many different classes as possible in the first week, to get an idea of how teaching progresses at Hogwarts before I start myself. Also a good way to brush up on things, I suppose. Hope you don't mind."
"No." Murmured Snape, eyeing his brother thoughtfully. "Sit down. And please don't interrupt."
"Certainly, Professor." Sejanus smiled, and settled himself in an empty chair. Severus noticed Malfoy giving his brother a sharp, appraising, and rather disgusted look, but there was little the older Snape could do about it, and Sejanus seemed not to care anyway. In fact he grinned at Draco, who turned away, frowning. Severus winced inwardly.
Snape was unhappy about the distraction his brother presented; he was liable to spend the lesson worrying about Sejanus, rather than teaching effectively. Not that he hadn't expected this - at dinner on the first night, Dumbledore had introduced Sejanus cheerfully to the school, and explained that he would be both teaching and attending classes with the older students for a year. He also explained that, at Sejanus' own suggestion, Muggle Studies would be made compulsory for all non-Muggle- borns for the year; they would be expected to attend a lesson a week even if they had not chosen Muggle Studies, though no homework would be set. Sejanus felt strongly that the wizarding community needed to understand Muggles better, and particularly to patronise them less. Snape, watching the pupils' reaction carefully, noticed that many eyed his brother with some suspicion, others with downright dislike - the biased little demons! - while most of them applauded along with Dumbledore, as was the standard courtesy for any new staff member. Malfoy and his gang looked disgusted at the prospect of compulsory Muggle Studies. Curiously, Potter and his friends, who hated Snape more than anyone (the Potions Master had no illusions about this) clapped happily enough, and the youngest Weasley brat even smiled at Sejanus. Snape found out afterwards that his brother had been mingling with students on the train, generally being friendly and ensuring that at least a few of them would not be afraid of him because of his grim associations.
"Settle down." Snape growled at the class, and silence fell. Potter et al looked decidedly miserable, and well they might, Snape thought nastily - they were in for a horrible term. Curse-repelling potions were difficult to brew and it was essential to know the theory thoroughly before any practical work was done, which meant huge amounts of homework could justifiably be set. Only Granger looked enthusiastic when Snape explained the work which was to be done in the first half of the term. He spotted her muttering to Weasley, but refrained from taking points, having caught the word 'fascinating' and more importantly the phrase, '.more about them than anyone'. Well, Snape *did* know more about repelling potions than anyone; they had been the subject of his final-year special project at Hogwarts, and he had spent many hours a week since then making sure his knowledge remained up-to-date. Trust Granger to know that, though how and where she had come across the information was something of a concern. On impulse he glanced sharply at Sejanus - had his brother been gossiping about him to the students!? Sejanus merely smiled back, and called cheerfully,
"Sounds intriguing, Severus, do go on."
"Shut up." Snape replied firmly. He would not have his carefully controlled classes disrupted; it had taken terms to scare the students into exactly the frame of mind he wanted.
The lesson progressed smoothly after that; Sejanus behaved himself, keeping quiet for the most part and occasionally asking a reasonably intelligent question. Snape demonstrated the particular potion he had chosen for today - used to repel the Lockjaw Hex - to the class, and was pleasantly surprised when they paid attention. After the lesson, the classroom emptied as swiftly as usual, and Snape began putting away equipment. Sejanus came over to help.
"You certainly know how to keep a class quiet." He remarked, sounding impressed. "Although, I tend to favour a more - friendly - approach myself."
"You are not a teacher."
"No, I'm a tutor, and the most important thing I've learned about it is that you have to let your guard down a little if you want the students to like you. You have to be - well, human. I expect it works the same for teaching; I remember the teachers I liked most at Hogwarts were the ones with a sense of humour, for example."
Snape glowered. "I have no interest in being liked, Sejanus. I am here to train these young people to be wizards; what they think of me is irrelevant as long as they learn something."
"I don't agree." Sejanus argued pleasantly. "They'll enjoy the lessons more and remember things better if you relax a little. They're quite terrified of you, some of them."
"And that's the way I like to keep it, thank you. Just because Dumbledore considers you one of the staff does not mean that you have the right to criticise my teaching methods."
Laughing, Sejanus held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay! I wasn't criticising, just offering a different point of view, that's all." He grinned. "Have you noticed what we're doing?"
"Arguing?"
"Just like old times, isn't it?"
Snape smiled faintly at that. It was true that he and his brother had not seen eye-to-eye on certain matters; Sejanus had been a sensitive, somewhat soft-hearted young man. He had sometimes had more heart than sense.
"Severus," said Sejanus quietly, suddenly serious. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about. Something.well, it's not a very pleasant topic but I think we should get it over and done with."
Snape nodded. He had expected this, was surprised Sejanus had not brought it up before.
"Yes, we should. Come into the office." They sat, and Snape poured out more of his special whisky; his reserve supplies were running low.
"It's true, then." Sejanus murmured. "I can see it in your face."
"Dumbledore has told you nothing?"
"I'd rather hear it from you."
Snape nodded slowly, took a drink of whisky, then said flatly,
"The Dark Lord has returned. He kidnapped Potter last year and used the boy's blood to rejuvenate himself. He is gathering followers, gathering strength - and the Ministry refuses to believe it. None of this has been formally acknowledged."
Sejanus was silent for a moment, chewing his lip.
"Is this why I was called back?" He asked quietly. "Because Dumbledore thought I might be a.target?"
Snape almost dropped his glass; before he could stop himself, his free hand shot out and gripped his brother's. Sejanus looked startled but not displeased.
"I'm sorry." He murmured. "I didn't mean to.worry you."
"I don't know why the decision was made to call you back to Hogwarts, but it would seem likely that your assessment is correct." Snape managed, in a voice that wavered slightly. Sejanus sighed and nodded.
"At first I thought it was something I did, a fairly small thing, by accident - the explosion at my college was my fault. Uncontrolled magic. I'd been expecting the letter from the Ministry, really."
"It was no worse than a preschool pupil could have done."
"Thanks." Said Sejanus, dryly. He fell silent for a moment, brooding.
"Severus.how strong has You-Know-Who become? How much of a threat? Amadeus brought me no information about this at all; I knew nothing of it until I arrived at Hogwarts."
"Dumbledore thought it best that you were not informed, for your own safety." Snape lied evenly. "He felt that you might go after the Dark Lord, seeking revenge."
Sejanus gave another wry smile.
"I'm a self-proclaimed Muggle, remember? In all honesty, I would be more of a liability than anything else if it came to a wizard war, and I've forgotten everything I ever knew about duelling - not that I ever knew much, of course. You were always the one who excelled at that sort of thing."
Snape nodded slightly in acknowledgement of the compliment, but kept his frown firmly in place and his mind firmly on the topic at hand. Sejanus was taking the Dark Lord's return surprisingly well.perhaps it was not really clear to him how serious the situation was?
"Dumbledore has formed a small army of those who know the truth, set up to oppose He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named; we operate under the rather whimsical name of 'The Order of the Phoenix.'" He waited for his brother's reaction, face set, but his stomach churning. How would Sejanus handle the information that Snape was once more involved with the Dark Lord - on the right side, of course, but still in deadly danger? Snape hoped his brother would be glad, if concerned, but Sejanus looked - stricken.
"You.you are part of this Order? You're working with Dumbledore against Voldemort?"
Severus blinked when his brother spoke the name, but managed to reply wryly,
"It's better than the reverse."
"Don't joke about this!"
"Sejanus.I know this must be a shock to you.but the Dark Lord *must* be opposed. We cannot simply ignore."
"Fine, but why should you be involved? How can Dumbledore ask this of you when you used to be a Death-Eater?"
Snape felt his guts wrenching at this. Sejanus was questioning his loyalty to Dumbledore! That must be what lay behind his brother's reaction to learning of Snape's involvement with the Order of the Phoenix; Sejanus believed that the Dark Lord might somehow tempt Severus back to the fold.it was a pang worse than any Snape would have felt if even Dumbledore himself suspected so much.
"Sejanus.I have dedicated myself to fighting He-Who.to fighting Voldemort. To destroying him and those who follow him."
"And the Malfoys?"
"I.what?"
"You are bonded to Lucius Malfoy. Will you be able to kill him, if you have to? Can you oppose his will as you can Voldemort's?"
Snape found himself unable to answer. He simply sat, staring at his brother, sick to the stomach. After all these years.all this pain and guilt and grief.still no redemption in the eyes of Sejanus, no matter how the younger man might claim to forgive him. And the worst of it was that Sejanus was right; Snape was no longer tempted by the Dark Lord's power in the least, but the thought of rebelling against Malfoy.he had never refused Lucius anything, had never been able to. Fighting Malfoy's influence would be like fighting his own mind. Snape told himself desperately, repeating something Dumbledore had insisted on time and time again whenever Snape fell into one of his long, dark depressions.
"I can defeat Malfoy as well." He said aloud, more to himself that Sejanus.but he was pleased to see a look of satisfaction and relief on his brother's face, even if his voice had sounded a little shaky and uncertain.
"Good for you." Sejanus murmured. "I want you to know you have my support.I'll help you, Severus, I promise you that. I'll do all I can."
There was a silence as the brothers regarded one another. There was a steady ring of assurance in Sejanus' voice that seemed new; but then, Snape had not seen his brother since his brother became a man. He had been used to being the protector, taking care of Sejanus, and it felt strange to realise that the tables seemed to be turning. It was too much to hope that Sejanus was untouched by the horrors of the past, but he seemed to be dealing with them in a way far beyond Snape's own abilities. For a moment, a fear rose in Snape; the same concern which had bothered him that morning on the way to the Potions lab, bothered him since Sejanus returned - the fear he refused to express to Dumbledore because, he told himself firmly, there was nothing to be said. Nothing to fear.
Nothing.
This morning, Snape was distracted; usually, prior to the first Potions lesson of the new school year with Potter and his entourage, Snape was focussed entirely on that - making sure Potter did not get above himself, trying to suppress Granger's infuriating know-it-all tendencies, which were liable to get her hurt one day (as he knew from experience). Preventing Longbottom from causing havoc, clearing up following the wretched boy's inevitable disasters despite Snape's efforts, and keeping Malfoy happy effectively took up the rest of the lesson. It was a wonder he had any time for teaching. But today, Snape could hardly bring himself to care. His thoughts were entirely focussed on something else.
Snape was thinking about his brother's eyes. Bright black eyes, much like his own, but without the curious glitter, which had not appeared in Severus' eyes until after he was blood-bonded to Lucius Malfoy - according to Malfoy, Snape's eyes had flashed grey for an instant during the ceremony. In moments of strong emotion that glitter returned, as though to remind Snape of the fact that he was not free, could never be alone - he was after all bonded, in different ways, to not one wizard but two.
Sejanus' eyes had been different; they had not glittered, perhaps, but they had certainly sparkled, especially when he smiled. At least, they had before. Now they seemed strangely empty; dark, silent, inexpressive.dead. Severus suppressed a shiver, then threw off his anxiety irritably, replacing it with annoyance. Unnecessary anger was hardly productive but it was better than the hideous sense of helpless foreboding which filled him whenever he let his guard down. That feeling was far heightened now, with Sejanus in the castle. All he wanted to do, all he had ever wanted to do, was keep his young brother safe; but it was one of Snape's greatest fears that someone would find out to what lengths he had been willing to go to do so. Someone other than Dumbledore, of course - Dumbledore knew. Snape had no secrets from him, or so he told himself in a firm voice. But at the back of his mind a thought nagged at him, a thought he pushed away grimly and refused even to countenance.
Snape forced his mind back to the present situation as he flung open the door of his classroom and charged in, robes billowing, startling the pupils. Longbottom squeaked in alarm, and Snape flashed him a dark look as he stormed to his own desk. However, his new-term speech was interrupted that morning; he had barely opened his mouth to hiss at the students that they would be studying the properties of a complex potion used to repel certain curses, when he spotted Sejanus lounging in a corner, casually examining specimens.
"Hello, Severus!" He said brightly, coming over. "Dumbledore told me to sit in on as many different classes as possible in the first week, to get an idea of how teaching progresses at Hogwarts before I start myself. Also a good way to brush up on things, I suppose. Hope you don't mind."
"No." Murmured Snape, eyeing his brother thoughtfully. "Sit down. And please don't interrupt."
"Certainly, Professor." Sejanus smiled, and settled himself in an empty chair. Severus noticed Malfoy giving his brother a sharp, appraising, and rather disgusted look, but there was little the older Snape could do about it, and Sejanus seemed not to care anyway. In fact he grinned at Draco, who turned away, frowning. Severus winced inwardly.
Snape was unhappy about the distraction his brother presented; he was liable to spend the lesson worrying about Sejanus, rather than teaching effectively. Not that he hadn't expected this - at dinner on the first night, Dumbledore had introduced Sejanus cheerfully to the school, and explained that he would be both teaching and attending classes with the older students for a year. He also explained that, at Sejanus' own suggestion, Muggle Studies would be made compulsory for all non-Muggle- borns for the year; they would be expected to attend a lesson a week even if they had not chosen Muggle Studies, though no homework would be set. Sejanus felt strongly that the wizarding community needed to understand Muggles better, and particularly to patronise them less. Snape, watching the pupils' reaction carefully, noticed that many eyed his brother with some suspicion, others with downright dislike - the biased little demons! - while most of them applauded along with Dumbledore, as was the standard courtesy for any new staff member. Malfoy and his gang looked disgusted at the prospect of compulsory Muggle Studies. Curiously, Potter and his friends, who hated Snape more than anyone (the Potions Master had no illusions about this) clapped happily enough, and the youngest Weasley brat even smiled at Sejanus. Snape found out afterwards that his brother had been mingling with students on the train, generally being friendly and ensuring that at least a few of them would not be afraid of him because of his grim associations.
"Settle down." Snape growled at the class, and silence fell. Potter et al looked decidedly miserable, and well they might, Snape thought nastily - they were in for a horrible term. Curse-repelling potions were difficult to brew and it was essential to know the theory thoroughly before any practical work was done, which meant huge amounts of homework could justifiably be set. Only Granger looked enthusiastic when Snape explained the work which was to be done in the first half of the term. He spotted her muttering to Weasley, but refrained from taking points, having caught the word 'fascinating' and more importantly the phrase, '.more about them than anyone'. Well, Snape *did* know more about repelling potions than anyone; they had been the subject of his final-year special project at Hogwarts, and he had spent many hours a week since then making sure his knowledge remained up-to-date. Trust Granger to know that, though how and where she had come across the information was something of a concern. On impulse he glanced sharply at Sejanus - had his brother been gossiping about him to the students!? Sejanus merely smiled back, and called cheerfully,
"Sounds intriguing, Severus, do go on."
"Shut up." Snape replied firmly. He would not have his carefully controlled classes disrupted; it had taken terms to scare the students into exactly the frame of mind he wanted.
The lesson progressed smoothly after that; Sejanus behaved himself, keeping quiet for the most part and occasionally asking a reasonably intelligent question. Snape demonstrated the particular potion he had chosen for today - used to repel the Lockjaw Hex - to the class, and was pleasantly surprised when they paid attention. After the lesson, the classroom emptied as swiftly as usual, and Snape began putting away equipment. Sejanus came over to help.
"You certainly know how to keep a class quiet." He remarked, sounding impressed. "Although, I tend to favour a more - friendly - approach myself."
"You are not a teacher."
"No, I'm a tutor, and the most important thing I've learned about it is that you have to let your guard down a little if you want the students to like you. You have to be - well, human. I expect it works the same for teaching; I remember the teachers I liked most at Hogwarts were the ones with a sense of humour, for example."
Snape glowered. "I have no interest in being liked, Sejanus. I am here to train these young people to be wizards; what they think of me is irrelevant as long as they learn something."
"I don't agree." Sejanus argued pleasantly. "They'll enjoy the lessons more and remember things better if you relax a little. They're quite terrified of you, some of them."
"And that's the way I like to keep it, thank you. Just because Dumbledore considers you one of the staff does not mean that you have the right to criticise my teaching methods."
Laughing, Sejanus held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay! I wasn't criticising, just offering a different point of view, that's all." He grinned. "Have you noticed what we're doing?"
"Arguing?"
"Just like old times, isn't it?"
Snape smiled faintly at that. It was true that he and his brother had not seen eye-to-eye on certain matters; Sejanus had been a sensitive, somewhat soft-hearted young man. He had sometimes had more heart than sense.
"Severus," said Sejanus quietly, suddenly serious. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about. Something.well, it's not a very pleasant topic but I think we should get it over and done with."
Snape nodded. He had expected this, was surprised Sejanus had not brought it up before.
"Yes, we should. Come into the office." They sat, and Snape poured out more of his special whisky; his reserve supplies were running low.
"It's true, then." Sejanus murmured. "I can see it in your face."
"Dumbledore has told you nothing?"
"I'd rather hear it from you."
Snape nodded slowly, took a drink of whisky, then said flatly,
"The Dark Lord has returned. He kidnapped Potter last year and used the boy's blood to rejuvenate himself. He is gathering followers, gathering strength - and the Ministry refuses to believe it. None of this has been formally acknowledged."
Sejanus was silent for a moment, chewing his lip.
"Is this why I was called back?" He asked quietly. "Because Dumbledore thought I might be a.target?"
Snape almost dropped his glass; before he could stop himself, his free hand shot out and gripped his brother's. Sejanus looked startled but not displeased.
"I'm sorry." He murmured. "I didn't mean to.worry you."
"I don't know why the decision was made to call you back to Hogwarts, but it would seem likely that your assessment is correct." Snape managed, in a voice that wavered slightly. Sejanus sighed and nodded.
"At first I thought it was something I did, a fairly small thing, by accident - the explosion at my college was my fault. Uncontrolled magic. I'd been expecting the letter from the Ministry, really."
"It was no worse than a preschool pupil could have done."
"Thanks." Said Sejanus, dryly. He fell silent for a moment, brooding.
"Severus.how strong has You-Know-Who become? How much of a threat? Amadeus brought me no information about this at all; I knew nothing of it until I arrived at Hogwarts."
"Dumbledore thought it best that you were not informed, for your own safety." Snape lied evenly. "He felt that you might go after the Dark Lord, seeking revenge."
Sejanus gave another wry smile.
"I'm a self-proclaimed Muggle, remember? In all honesty, I would be more of a liability than anything else if it came to a wizard war, and I've forgotten everything I ever knew about duelling - not that I ever knew much, of course. You were always the one who excelled at that sort of thing."
Snape nodded slightly in acknowledgement of the compliment, but kept his frown firmly in place and his mind firmly on the topic at hand. Sejanus was taking the Dark Lord's return surprisingly well.perhaps it was not really clear to him how serious the situation was?
"Dumbledore has formed a small army of those who know the truth, set up to oppose He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named; we operate under the rather whimsical name of 'The Order of the Phoenix.'" He waited for his brother's reaction, face set, but his stomach churning. How would Sejanus handle the information that Snape was once more involved with the Dark Lord - on the right side, of course, but still in deadly danger? Snape hoped his brother would be glad, if concerned, but Sejanus looked - stricken.
"You.you are part of this Order? You're working with Dumbledore against Voldemort?"
Severus blinked when his brother spoke the name, but managed to reply wryly,
"It's better than the reverse."
"Don't joke about this!"
"Sejanus.I know this must be a shock to you.but the Dark Lord *must* be opposed. We cannot simply ignore."
"Fine, but why should you be involved? How can Dumbledore ask this of you when you used to be a Death-Eater?"
Snape felt his guts wrenching at this. Sejanus was questioning his loyalty to Dumbledore! That must be what lay behind his brother's reaction to learning of Snape's involvement with the Order of the Phoenix; Sejanus believed that the Dark Lord might somehow tempt Severus back to the fold.it was a pang worse than any Snape would have felt if even Dumbledore himself suspected so much.
"Sejanus.I have dedicated myself to fighting He-Who.to fighting Voldemort. To destroying him and those who follow him."
"And the Malfoys?"
"I.what?"
"You are bonded to Lucius Malfoy. Will you be able to kill him, if you have to? Can you oppose his will as you can Voldemort's?"
Snape found himself unable to answer. He simply sat, staring at his brother, sick to the stomach. After all these years.all this pain and guilt and grief.still no redemption in the eyes of Sejanus, no matter how the younger man might claim to forgive him. And the worst of it was that Sejanus was right; Snape was no longer tempted by the Dark Lord's power in the least, but the thought of rebelling against Malfoy.he had never refused Lucius anything, had never been able to. Fighting Malfoy's influence would be like fighting his own mind. Snape told himself desperately, repeating something Dumbledore had insisted on time and time again whenever Snape fell into one of his long, dark depressions.
"I can defeat Malfoy as well." He said aloud, more to himself that Sejanus.but he was pleased to see a look of satisfaction and relief on his brother's face, even if his voice had sounded a little shaky and uncertain.
"Good for you." Sejanus murmured. "I want you to know you have my support.I'll help you, Severus, I promise you that. I'll do all I can."
There was a silence as the brothers regarded one another. There was a steady ring of assurance in Sejanus' voice that seemed new; but then, Snape had not seen his brother since his brother became a man. He had been used to being the protector, taking care of Sejanus, and it felt strange to realise that the tables seemed to be turning. It was too much to hope that Sejanus was untouched by the horrors of the past, but he seemed to be dealing with them in a way far beyond Snape's own abilities. For a moment, a fear rose in Snape; the same concern which had bothered him that morning on the way to the Potions lab, bothered him since Sejanus returned - the fear he refused to express to Dumbledore because, he told himself firmly, there was nothing to be said. Nothing to fear.
Nothing.
