OK, here's another episode. I really didn't expect anyone to actually like
this. . . it was more of an one off, bored Sunday afternoon things.
Disclaimer: Of this show, I do not own the following: X-men characters, the audience, studio, assorted weapons and spotlight lasers.
Oh, and don't take any of the stuff that the characters says seriously. Because this is the Evo fandom (and some of the characters' pasts haven't really been explained), I wanted to have a little fun creating my own versions stuff. So there's no doubts that some of the things I write will contradict the comic version (
You have been warned.
****
The lights start up. A huge disco ball is lowered from the ceiling and loud 70s music starts to play.
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge I'm gonna kill you!!!"
FORGE: "Yeah, yeah like I haven't heard that one before." *Turns off music and light show*
PYRO (Voice Over): "Welcome to Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show. And now, your host: Duki!"
Rubber Duki appears amidst a blinding light show, shorting out everyone's vision within the studio. Pyro (who was looking dazed from the lasers) accidentally shot off several bouts of flames which caused several bulking looking objects to fall from the ceiling landing in balls of fire.
DUKI: *Rubbing her eyes* "OK, lasers. . . bad idea." *Reaches out and flicks several switches*
The air conditioner turns itself on and cheesy music starts to play.
DUKI: "Errr. . . Forge? A little help? I can't see the controls."
The sprinklers turns on (and the music turned off) and the fires get under control.
DUKI: "Thank you!" *Turns to looks at the audience, which consists of thirty-two people all tied up with rope and gagged*
DUKI: *Raising an eyebrow while looking at Pyro* " Oh well, better than last time."
Pyro whistles innocently, holding onto a brand new flame-thrower.
DUKI: *Puzzled* "How did you get another one so quick?" *Changes from puzzled to frowning* "Ok Pyro, which military did you steal it from. Oh! My guess is on Russia. . . am I right?"
Pyro holds up his flame-thrower, which consisted of a single barrel that had an opening larger than his head.
PYRO: *Tries his best to look insulted* "I didn't steal it! I removed it from one of the sentinels. Can you believe it? There were four hundred of 'em and the only weapons they had were flame-throwers."
Rubber Duki looks at the salvaged weapon, then at Forge (who was on an observation platform). Forge shrugs, as if to say 'hey I didn't know that the first guest to go through the Burn, Burn, Burn challenge was gonna be a controller of fire.'
DUKI: *Turns back to look at the involuntary audience and flashes a Colgate smile* "Now that all of my vision's back, lets get on with the show!"
A pack of queue cards held together with a rubber band fall from nowhere.
DUKI: *Grabs the cards* "Ah, and here are the questions. But before the first guest arrive, the reviewers have some stuff to ask you Pyro. . ."
FORGE: "Are there any questions for me?"
DUKI: *Avoids Forge's gaze* " Err. . . no, maybe next time Forge. . ."
FORGE: *Looks disappointed* "Oh, Ok." (Hint hint, ask him a question before he starts to mope.)
PYRO: *Looks impatient* "So, what are they? I have to go snatch- I mean 'escort' our next guest to our show in two minutes." *Takes a stopwatch out from a pocket* "You have a minute forty-eight seconds starting from. . . now!"
DUKI: "The first question's from Spencerblaze: She asks what your fave book is."
PYRO: *Thinks for 3.47 seconds* "Jane Eyre, *Grins* it burnt for three whole minutes."
DUKI: *Sighs* "I think she meant what your favorite book is that you've 'read' not destroyed. "
PYRO: *Scratches head* "Hmmm. . . I'll have to get back to ya on that one. . ."
DUKI: *Selecting another card* "Now here's some from Shiver: 1.How did you 1st find out about your powers? 2.How much are u paid a month? 3. Boxers or briefs? 4. Chocolate or vanilla?"
PYRO: *Takes a deep breath* "OK, I first found out about my powers at my twelfth birthday party; I started to blow out the candles and gave everyone there second-degree burns and I'm still negotiating my salary with Duki. I usually wear boxers but when I'm in this thing *Points at his spandex uniform* boxers gets a little too bunchy. And I never had to choose before, I just mixed chocolate and vanilla together and eat it that way. Is that all?"
*Rubber Duki nods*
PYRO: "Alrighty then, I'm off to get Todd."
DUKI: "Don't forget your instructions! And don't cause too much mass destruction! Well, not without me anyways."
Pyro exits via the trans- dimentional transporter/black hole, a.k.a. a closet door.
DUKI: "While we wait till he comes back, I'll reply to some comments:"
*shuffles her cards*
DUKI: "First of all, thanks for making comments folks. To reply to todd fan's review: As you can see, Todd will appear shortly. But as for Kurt, I'll get to him when I figure out how to restrain him (Forge is working on an anti-teleporting Dohicky), and Wanda? She's even more tricky. . . it might take a while to plan her invitation-"
FORGE: *Looks down from his platform lab* "Hex fields are unbelievably hard to disrupt."
DUKI: "You heard the man. And thank you WormmonABC and The Living Dead for your suggestions. A Mr Logan shall indeed be missing a certain soft toy."
*BOOM!*
DUKI: "Ooooo, that must be Pyro and Todd."
The closet door swings open and a slime covered Pyro steps out dragging Todd Tolanski behind him. Pyro's footsteps made squishy sounds as they trailed more slime.
PYRO: *Dropping Todd in the guest chair, shackles immediately appear; securing him in place* "I'm gonna go change." *Steps off stage*
TODD: "Hey! What's going on yo?"
DUKI: *Clears throat* "Y'see: You've just been invited to a talk-show kinda show, where I (and the reviewers) ask questions about you and your life. I will go to great lengths to make this entertaining so hopefully by the end of this someone will either break down or lose it as they both are a popular sort of amusement to the general public. . . Does that sound good?"
TODD: "Um. . . NO? Ya can't hold me against my will!" *Strains against the shackles*
DUKI: *Rolls eyes* "Whatever frog boy. First question: who came up with the code name 'Toad'? And why not, say, Frog or something?"
TODD: *Ignores Duki and continues to struggle*
DUKI: "Y'know you're probably not going to break through that anytime soon so why not just answer the question?"
TODD: *Continues to ignore Duki*
DUKI: "Hello?"
TODD: *clenches his teeth as he pulls on the shackles. A groaning sound came from the metal bands.*
DUKI: *Mutters* "That doesn't sound good. . ." *Speaks up* "OK! OK! Stop that!"
Todd starts to pay attention.
DUKI: "How's this: you answer the following questions honestly and without prodding and you can. . . spend a day with Wanda!"
TODD: "Really?"
DUKI: "Yeah, sure. And I promise she won't say anything about killing you or give you a hex bolt for the entire time."
FORGE: *To Pyro who'd just hopped onto the platform, in a spare uniform.* "I wonder how she's gonna pull off that stunt."
PYRO: "Ten bucks says that something'll blow up."
FORGE: *Shakes head* "No way, you're not getting money out of me that easy."
TODD: *Eye's lighting up like the audience member that Pyro'd just set on fire* "Ok, I'll do it. Fire away. Gimme the first question."
DUKI: *Vampire Smile* "So why the name Toad? I mean besides the obvious reason."
TODD: "I've always grown up with everyone callin' me Toad. I guess it just kinda stuck. 'sides, what else are they gonna call me, Frog-man?"
DUKI: "Fine. Next question: Have you ever hurt yourself with your hood? It looks kind of stiff."
TODD: *Rubs neck* "It IS stiff, it's metal and conducts hex bolts WAY too well."
DUKI: "So how many people have you slimed in the past week?"
TODD: "It's hard ta tell. Being a slow week and all, I'da have ta say about three?"
DUKI: "Really?" *pulls a draw string, a large bucket of slime is tipped onto Todd* "You're the fourth person I've slimed today."
TODD: *Wipes the green goo from his face with his tongue* "Oh yeah?" *projects a large glob of slime onto Duki's face* "Now that makes four."
DUKI: *Presses a button and a cream pie smashes into Todd's face* "FIVE!"
TODD: "Hey! Pies don't count." *Gives Duki more homemade goo* "That, on the other hand, makes five for me."
PYRO: *Yelling from the platform* "Are you two done? Because I'm going to get Scott now! *low voice* and get away from Wanda before she arrives." *Slides down a fireman pole and enters the portal*
DUKI: *Holds up hands* "You can stop now." *Gets lobbed with another slime ball*
TODD: "Six"
DUKI: "Do you want to meet Wanda or not?"
TODD: "I'll be good."
Rubber Duki presses a button that says 'cut off oxygen' and Todd's shackles are retracted (nothing actually happened to the air incase you're wondering).
DUKI: "Come'on in Wanda!"
Todd stands up with a look of ecstasy glued onto his face, ready to meet his Scarlet Witch.
A large woman (who looked more like a man) stepped onto the stage, waving to Todd.
DUKI: "There's Wanda Stevens Todd. You two enjoy your day together!"
TODD: *Looking puzzled* "B-but I thought you said I get a day with Wanda."
DUKI: "You ARE spending a day with Wanda. I never said WHICH Wanda you got, I just said she wouldn't try to kill you with Hex Bolts."
TODD: "But-"
DUKI: *Pushes yet another of her infinite buttons* "Have fun you two!" *Todd and 'Wanda' are sucked through the trans- dimentional transporter*
FORGE: "And nothing actually blew up. . ."
Rubber Duki leans back and smoothes her hair. Before realizing that the slime had made her hair hard as rock.
DUKI: "Argh"
*CRASH*
Pyro is knocked through the door by a very familiar optic blast. Scott enters a moment after, to be greeted by a wall of flames controlled by Pyro. The wall of flames pushes Scott back until he is almost at the feet of the guest armchair. Automated hands grabs then slams Scott into the said chair and the infamous shackles secures him in place.
DUKI: "Hi Cyclops."
SCOTT: *Glares, even though nobody can tell from behind his shades* "So who do you work for? Magneto? The Brotherhood?"
DUKI: "Eh. . . I'm self employed."
SCOTT: "Why did you kidnap me?"
DUKI: *Rolls eyes* "Do I have to say it again?"
*The audience, Forge and Pyro nods*
DUKI: "You've been invited to a talk-show kinda show, where I (and the reviewers) ask questions about you and your life. At the end of this you can go home, so no harm done. Does that sound good?"
SCOTT: "Fine. But I'm only doing this so I won't have give Kitty another driving lesson" *Shudders*
DUKI: *Claps hands* "Great! Seeing how no reviewers asked you any questions. I'll have to reach deep into my creativity. . ."
*Five minutes later*
DUKI: "Yeah, I think I got one now: So Scott, do you wear your glasses when you sleep?"
SCOTT: "No, I usually take it off when I sleep, but there was once when I accidentally burnt a hole in the ceiling."
DUKI: "Very well, what about your uniform? What's with that gigantic X? Can it be more obvious?"
SCOTT: *Frowns* "Well, I AM the leader. Besides, it CAN be more obvious, just stick a couple of neon lights on and it'll be complete."
DUKI: *Big Smile* "Next question: What do you think about all those people who says that you've got a biiiig stick up your -"
SCOTT: "THAT'S IT!" *Tries to shake his sunglasses off. It stays* "Just because I'm the ONLY one in the entire show that takes responsibility and try to be nice and do the right thing they go and brand me boring. What's wrong with sticking to the rules? Oh, and to all those people? This is what I think of YOU:" *Shouts several unprintable words*
DUKI: *Drums fingers on her desk* "Are you done?"
Scott takes several deep breaths.
DUKI: "Good! Now let's see how you do in our bonus round challenge!"
The chair that Scott's sitting on revolves around to face a cannon.
DUKI: "I was just curious about how many cream pies you can take before your shades fall off and you blast the cannon."
SCOTT: *Raises both eyebrows* "Do I win anything?"
DUKI: "If you go through with this then I'll give you permission to use the portal whenever you don't feel like driving with Miss Kitty."
SCOTT: "Y'know I've always liked pie. . ."
DUKI: "Fire it up Forge!"
Rubber Duki turns to face the audience
DUKI: "We'll tell you what happens next time when we meet up with wolvie and Kitty."
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show!"
*****
Got Questions for me, Forge, Pyro, or the guests? Review! Even if you don't have a question review!
I'm also welcome to suggestions: blackmail, Bonus round challenge etc. . .
NEXT TIME:
Mr Logan Kitty
-Rubber Duki
Disclaimer: Of this show, I do not own the following: X-men characters, the audience, studio, assorted weapons and spotlight lasers.
Oh, and don't take any of the stuff that the characters says seriously. Because this is the Evo fandom (and some of the characters' pasts haven't really been explained), I wanted to have a little fun creating my own versions stuff. So there's no doubts that some of the things I write will contradict the comic version (
You have been warned.
****
The lights start up. A huge disco ball is lowered from the ceiling and loud 70s music starts to play.
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge I'm gonna kill you!!!"
FORGE: "Yeah, yeah like I haven't heard that one before." *Turns off music and light show*
PYRO (Voice Over): "Welcome to Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show. And now, your host: Duki!"
Rubber Duki appears amidst a blinding light show, shorting out everyone's vision within the studio. Pyro (who was looking dazed from the lasers) accidentally shot off several bouts of flames which caused several bulking looking objects to fall from the ceiling landing in balls of fire.
DUKI: *Rubbing her eyes* "OK, lasers. . . bad idea." *Reaches out and flicks several switches*
The air conditioner turns itself on and cheesy music starts to play.
DUKI: "Errr. . . Forge? A little help? I can't see the controls."
The sprinklers turns on (and the music turned off) and the fires get under control.
DUKI: "Thank you!" *Turns to looks at the audience, which consists of thirty-two people all tied up with rope and gagged*
DUKI: *Raising an eyebrow while looking at Pyro* " Oh well, better than last time."
Pyro whistles innocently, holding onto a brand new flame-thrower.
DUKI: *Puzzled* "How did you get another one so quick?" *Changes from puzzled to frowning* "Ok Pyro, which military did you steal it from. Oh! My guess is on Russia. . . am I right?"
Pyro holds up his flame-thrower, which consisted of a single barrel that had an opening larger than his head.
PYRO: *Tries his best to look insulted* "I didn't steal it! I removed it from one of the sentinels. Can you believe it? There were four hundred of 'em and the only weapons they had were flame-throwers."
Rubber Duki looks at the salvaged weapon, then at Forge (who was on an observation platform). Forge shrugs, as if to say 'hey I didn't know that the first guest to go through the Burn, Burn, Burn challenge was gonna be a controller of fire.'
DUKI: *Turns back to look at the involuntary audience and flashes a Colgate smile* "Now that all of my vision's back, lets get on with the show!"
A pack of queue cards held together with a rubber band fall from nowhere.
DUKI: *Grabs the cards* "Ah, and here are the questions. But before the first guest arrive, the reviewers have some stuff to ask you Pyro. . ."
FORGE: "Are there any questions for me?"
DUKI: *Avoids Forge's gaze* " Err. . . no, maybe next time Forge. . ."
FORGE: *Looks disappointed* "Oh, Ok." (Hint hint, ask him a question before he starts to mope.)
PYRO: *Looks impatient* "So, what are they? I have to go snatch- I mean 'escort' our next guest to our show in two minutes." *Takes a stopwatch out from a pocket* "You have a minute forty-eight seconds starting from. . . now!"
DUKI: "The first question's from Spencerblaze: She asks what your fave book is."
PYRO: *Thinks for 3.47 seconds* "Jane Eyre, *Grins* it burnt for three whole minutes."
DUKI: *Sighs* "I think she meant what your favorite book is that you've 'read' not destroyed. "
PYRO: *Scratches head* "Hmmm. . . I'll have to get back to ya on that one. . ."
DUKI: *Selecting another card* "Now here's some from Shiver: 1.How did you 1st find out about your powers? 2.How much are u paid a month? 3. Boxers or briefs? 4. Chocolate or vanilla?"
PYRO: *Takes a deep breath* "OK, I first found out about my powers at my twelfth birthday party; I started to blow out the candles and gave everyone there second-degree burns and I'm still negotiating my salary with Duki. I usually wear boxers but when I'm in this thing *Points at his spandex uniform* boxers gets a little too bunchy. And I never had to choose before, I just mixed chocolate and vanilla together and eat it that way. Is that all?"
*Rubber Duki nods*
PYRO: "Alrighty then, I'm off to get Todd."
DUKI: "Don't forget your instructions! And don't cause too much mass destruction! Well, not without me anyways."
Pyro exits via the trans- dimentional transporter/black hole, a.k.a. a closet door.
DUKI: "While we wait till he comes back, I'll reply to some comments:"
*shuffles her cards*
DUKI: "First of all, thanks for making comments folks. To reply to todd fan's review: As you can see, Todd will appear shortly. But as for Kurt, I'll get to him when I figure out how to restrain him (Forge is working on an anti-teleporting Dohicky), and Wanda? She's even more tricky. . . it might take a while to plan her invitation-"
FORGE: *Looks down from his platform lab* "Hex fields are unbelievably hard to disrupt."
DUKI: "You heard the man. And thank you WormmonABC and The Living Dead for your suggestions. A Mr Logan shall indeed be missing a certain soft toy."
*BOOM!*
DUKI: "Ooooo, that must be Pyro and Todd."
The closet door swings open and a slime covered Pyro steps out dragging Todd Tolanski behind him. Pyro's footsteps made squishy sounds as they trailed more slime.
PYRO: *Dropping Todd in the guest chair, shackles immediately appear; securing him in place* "I'm gonna go change." *Steps off stage*
TODD: "Hey! What's going on yo?"
DUKI: *Clears throat* "Y'see: You've just been invited to a talk-show kinda show, where I (and the reviewers) ask questions about you and your life. I will go to great lengths to make this entertaining so hopefully by the end of this someone will either break down or lose it as they both are a popular sort of amusement to the general public. . . Does that sound good?"
TODD: "Um. . . NO? Ya can't hold me against my will!" *Strains against the shackles*
DUKI: *Rolls eyes* "Whatever frog boy. First question: who came up with the code name 'Toad'? And why not, say, Frog or something?"
TODD: *Ignores Duki and continues to struggle*
DUKI: "Y'know you're probably not going to break through that anytime soon so why not just answer the question?"
TODD: *Continues to ignore Duki*
DUKI: "Hello?"
TODD: *clenches his teeth as he pulls on the shackles. A groaning sound came from the metal bands.*
DUKI: *Mutters* "That doesn't sound good. . ." *Speaks up* "OK! OK! Stop that!"
Todd starts to pay attention.
DUKI: "How's this: you answer the following questions honestly and without prodding and you can. . . spend a day with Wanda!"
TODD: "Really?"
DUKI: "Yeah, sure. And I promise she won't say anything about killing you or give you a hex bolt for the entire time."
FORGE: *To Pyro who'd just hopped onto the platform, in a spare uniform.* "I wonder how she's gonna pull off that stunt."
PYRO: "Ten bucks says that something'll blow up."
FORGE: *Shakes head* "No way, you're not getting money out of me that easy."
TODD: *Eye's lighting up like the audience member that Pyro'd just set on fire* "Ok, I'll do it. Fire away. Gimme the first question."
DUKI: *Vampire Smile* "So why the name Toad? I mean besides the obvious reason."
TODD: "I've always grown up with everyone callin' me Toad. I guess it just kinda stuck. 'sides, what else are they gonna call me, Frog-man?"
DUKI: "Fine. Next question: Have you ever hurt yourself with your hood? It looks kind of stiff."
TODD: *Rubs neck* "It IS stiff, it's metal and conducts hex bolts WAY too well."
DUKI: "So how many people have you slimed in the past week?"
TODD: "It's hard ta tell. Being a slow week and all, I'da have ta say about three?"
DUKI: "Really?" *pulls a draw string, a large bucket of slime is tipped onto Todd* "You're the fourth person I've slimed today."
TODD: *Wipes the green goo from his face with his tongue* "Oh yeah?" *projects a large glob of slime onto Duki's face* "Now that makes four."
DUKI: *Presses a button and a cream pie smashes into Todd's face* "FIVE!"
TODD: "Hey! Pies don't count." *Gives Duki more homemade goo* "That, on the other hand, makes five for me."
PYRO: *Yelling from the platform* "Are you two done? Because I'm going to get Scott now! *low voice* and get away from Wanda before she arrives." *Slides down a fireman pole and enters the portal*
DUKI: *Holds up hands* "You can stop now." *Gets lobbed with another slime ball*
TODD: "Six"
DUKI: "Do you want to meet Wanda or not?"
TODD: "I'll be good."
Rubber Duki presses a button that says 'cut off oxygen' and Todd's shackles are retracted (nothing actually happened to the air incase you're wondering).
DUKI: "Come'on in Wanda!"
Todd stands up with a look of ecstasy glued onto his face, ready to meet his Scarlet Witch.
A large woman (who looked more like a man) stepped onto the stage, waving to Todd.
DUKI: "There's Wanda Stevens Todd. You two enjoy your day together!"
TODD: *Looking puzzled* "B-but I thought you said I get a day with Wanda."
DUKI: "You ARE spending a day with Wanda. I never said WHICH Wanda you got, I just said she wouldn't try to kill you with Hex Bolts."
TODD: "But-"
DUKI: *Pushes yet another of her infinite buttons* "Have fun you two!" *Todd and 'Wanda' are sucked through the trans- dimentional transporter*
FORGE: "And nothing actually blew up. . ."
Rubber Duki leans back and smoothes her hair. Before realizing that the slime had made her hair hard as rock.
DUKI: "Argh"
*CRASH*
Pyro is knocked through the door by a very familiar optic blast. Scott enters a moment after, to be greeted by a wall of flames controlled by Pyro. The wall of flames pushes Scott back until he is almost at the feet of the guest armchair. Automated hands grabs then slams Scott into the said chair and the infamous shackles secures him in place.
DUKI: "Hi Cyclops."
SCOTT: *Glares, even though nobody can tell from behind his shades* "So who do you work for? Magneto? The Brotherhood?"
DUKI: "Eh. . . I'm self employed."
SCOTT: "Why did you kidnap me?"
DUKI: *Rolls eyes* "Do I have to say it again?"
*The audience, Forge and Pyro nods*
DUKI: "You've been invited to a talk-show kinda show, where I (and the reviewers) ask questions about you and your life. At the end of this you can go home, so no harm done. Does that sound good?"
SCOTT: "Fine. But I'm only doing this so I won't have give Kitty another driving lesson" *Shudders*
DUKI: *Claps hands* "Great! Seeing how no reviewers asked you any questions. I'll have to reach deep into my creativity. . ."
*Five minutes later*
DUKI: "Yeah, I think I got one now: So Scott, do you wear your glasses when you sleep?"
SCOTT: "No, I usually take it off when I sleep, but there was once when I accidentally burnt a hole in the ceiling."
DUKI: "Very well, what about your uniform? What's with that gigantic X? Can it be more obvious?"
SCOTT: *Frowns* "Well, I AM the leader. Besides, it CAN be more obvious, just stick a couple of neon lights on and it'll be complete."
DUKI: *Big Smile* "Next question: What do you think about all those people who says that you've got a biiiig stick up your -"
SCOTT: "THAT'S IT!" *Tries to shake his sunglasses off. It stays* "Just because I'm the ONLY one in the entire show that takes responsibility and try to be nice and do the right thing they go and brand me boring. What's wrong with sticking to the rules? Oh, and to all those people? This is what I think of YOU:" *Shouts several unprintable words*
DUKI: *Drums fingers on her desk* "Are you done?"
Scott takes several deep breaths.
DUKI: "Good! Now let's see how you do in our bonus round challenge!"
The chair that Scott's sitting on revolves around to face a cannon.
DUKI: "I was just curious about how many cream pies you can take before your shades fall off and you blast the cannon."
SCOTT: *Raises both eyebrows* "Do I win anything?"
DUKI: "If you go through with this then I'll give you permission to use the portal whenever you don't feel like driving with Miss Kitty."
SCOTT: "Y'know I've always liked pie. . ."
DUKI: "Fire it up Forge!"
Rubber Duki turns to face the audience
DUKI: "We'll tell you what happens next time when we meet up with wolvie and Kitty."
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show!"
*****
Got Questions for me, Forge, Pyro, or the guests? Review! Even if you don't have a question review!
I'm also welcome to suggestions: blackmail, Bonus round challenge etc. . .
NEXT TIME:
Mr Logan Kitty
-Rubber Duki
