= Duki's Incredibly Insane and Politically Incorrect X-men Evo Show =
Only 98% of this is genuine. 2% unavoidable made up stuff.
You have been warned.
Disclaimer: Me own nothing. You should know that by now.
****
The lights DON'T go on. They stay where they are, off.
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge? We're starting!"
*A couple of minutes later*
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge? Why isn't the lights on?"
*A minute more*
Duki steps onto the stage and flicks the lights on herself. She then proceeds to make plans on how to hurt Forge.
DUKI: *Spots Forge and Pyro on the observation platform looking outside through a window* "What are you two doing? The show's starting!"
Forge gestures for Rubber Duki to climb up and see for herself.
DUKI: "What the. . ."
Outside the studio gathered hundreds'n thousands of fangirls (and a few fanboys too). Each holding up signs like 'We love you Remy!' or 'Marry me Pietro!'. There were also a few noticeable 'Romy' and 'Rietro' fans hanging around.
DUKI: "Wow! There's even a few Pyro fangirls."
And there they were. Holding up signs that said 'St John Allerdyce' in various stages of misspelling.
PYRO: *Pointing at the signs with the spelling mistakes* "Those must be the new-age fangirls. They're appearing more often after X2 came out." *Opens the window and starts yelling* "The X2 Pyro is in the studio next door!" *Points to the studio next to them, it had X2 PYRO in big neon signs.*
The fangirls immediately rushed towards their new destination.
PYRO: *To Duki* "Watch this." *Evil*
Pyro opens the throttle on his flame-thrower (Which now burns on biodiesel thanks to Kitty's advice) and wrote 'RIETRO' in huge block letters of fire above the crowd.
Seeing this, the Romy fans started arguing with the Rietro ones and soon there was a mini war going on.
DUKI: *Sighs* "I'm so glad that the studio walls are built of solid titanium."
FORGE: *Puzzled* "I never knew you were a Rietro fan John."
PYRO: "I'm not a fan. I just think it makes better sense than Romy."
FORGE: "No it doesn't! Pietro's never looked at Rouge once and Remy is definitely more interested in her."
PYRO: "Romy'll be a terrible pairing!"
FORGE: "Less disgusting than Rietro."
Rubber Duki shakes her head and climbs down to her desk while the other two go at each other over shipping disagreements.
DUKI: *Realizing that Pyro won't be doing his voice over* "I guess I'll have to improvise. . ." *Turns to face the audience ~ the bleachers are completely filled with fangirls carrying signs.*
DUKI: *surprised* "Holy. . . big turnout." *Smiles* "Welcome to my show everybody."
The audience applauds ~ Duki almost dies of happiness.
DUKI: *Sighs* "I've been waiting for that for a long time."
*Meanwhile*
PYRO: "REITRO!"
FORGE: "No, ROMY!"
PYRO: *Pauses* "DIE!"
The two starts wrestling while Duki just shakes her head.
DUKI: "That's just wrong on so many different levels." *She pulls a lever that was beside her desk, a tub of water it tipped onto the two.*
Pyro and Forge stops what they're doing.
DUKI: "Done?"
PYRO & FORGE: *nods*
DUKI: *Turns back to face the audience* "Seeing how the gathering of so many enthused fangirls could become a threat, I've devised a demonstration. Pyro?"
Pyro gives a thumbs up from up in the platform.
DUKI: "Observe."
She tosses a tomato to the edge of the stage. It lands with a splat.
PYRO: "You just wasted some perfectly good food . . . what was the point?"
DUKI: *Wide eyed* "You were supposed to toast that tomato you mor- *Notices Pyro's Flame-thrower cocked and ready* mor-aniac?"
PYRO: "Why?"
DUKI: "To show the viewers what would happen if they try to cross onto the stage."
PYRO: "But why would a tomato want to go onstage?"
Rubber Duki rubs her temples, wondering why couldn't she have hired zombies like everyone else.
Forge taps Pyro on the shoulder and explains the concepts of the demonstration.
DUKI: "Do you get the idea now?"
PYRO: *Nods*
DUKI: "Good, now lets give it another try."
Rubber Duki searches for another tomato, couldn't find any, so she threw an egg instead.
Pyro took aim and let loose a cloud of flames. The fire engulfed the egg, successfully hard-boiling it and an unfortunate audience member. The cooked egg landed on a fangirl's sign. The cooked audience member coughed ashes.
DUKI: *Impressed* "Nice shot Pyro."
PYRO: *Takes a bow*
DUKI: "Remember when Kitty ruined nearly every piece of equipment in here that ran on electricity?"
Random people nods.
DUKI: "I took that as a chance to renovate." *Presses a button her armrest. A huge screen is lowered from a slot in the ceiling.*
FORGE: "Plasma screen. 41 inch. Installed it myself."
DUKI: "And here are the comments from our reviewers." *The screen flickers on, displaying questions, comments etc. . .*
DUKI: "Katterree Fengari asks how would this show be politically correct. . .?"
FORGE: "Well for one - "
PYRO: "We could lose that sign."
He points at a memo board. Scribbled across it says: 1) Don't use your 70s lingo Forge. 2) Pyro, please don't over exaggerate your Australian accent. I know it's funny but you're giving your country more stereotypes than it can cope with. 3) Please don't use any language other than English unless you can translate it with a false British accent.
DUKI: "What's wrong with my sign?"
FORGE: "It's ridiculous."
DUKI: *Shrugs* "I think that's all the comments/questions that's not for our guest. Thanks to all you reviewers for contributing ^.^"
PYRO: "Looks like I'll have to get Pietro now." *Half the audience cheers loudly*
DUKI: "Don't bother, he actually booked himself for the show after he heard Todd came. He should be here - "
A blur rushes out from the trans-dimentional portal.
DUKI: " -now"
PIETRO: *Looks at all the fangirls* "I do attract a good crowd don't I." *Gives audience his famous Quicksilver smirk*
Half the audience (inside and outside the studio) swoons/drools/ acts fangirlish.
Pietro sits down on the guest chair. Shackles appear, and secure him onto the chair before he could react (He may be fast but my machines are faster ^.- )
PIETRO: "Hey! You told me I wouldn't be restrained!"
DUKI: "I lied. Let's just say I changed my mind after Toad sent me a footage of what happened last the time you had a sugar high."
PIETRO: "Fine. On with the questions."
DUKI: *Takes out a remote control and punches in several commands. Questions are displayed on the screen.* "You're a popular boy Speedy. This could take a while. . ."
PIETRO: *Drums fingers on armrest*
DUKI: "The first five questions are from Tali. She asks: Have you ever glanced at a dryer and got transfixed by the swirling colors the clothes make?"
PIETRO: "I've never gotten transfixed before. Probably because the dryer at the brotherhood house doesn't work."
DUKI: "Next question: Vegemite or marmite?"
PIETRO: "What's that?"
DUKI: "They're stuff you put on bread/crackers. Popular here in Australia and New Zealand. You can try some if you want." *Steps on a peddle. A machine arm feeds Pietro two crackers, one with vegemite and the other with marmite.*
DUKI: *Watches Pietro chew* "Well?"
PIETRO: "That stuff tasted worse than slime!"
DUKI: "Your opinion I guess. Number three from Tali: Blondes or Brunettes?"
The girls in the audience listened intently for the answer. Eager to figure what color to dye their hair.
PIETRO: "As long as they're female. . ."
Duki decides not to bring up the discussion about Speedy's 'Fruitiness'
DUKI: "4: When your running does everything else go really slow or do you just go really fast?"
PIETRO: *Preens* "Everything seems to go slow for me. And yeah, I'm pretty fast as well. It's a combination of those two."
DUKI: "Last question from Tali: Which of the X-girls would you most like to go out with and why?. *Looks amused* If you're smart you'll choose not to answer that one."
Pietro looks at the Romy/Rietro supporters. A live camera feed was displayed on another screen, showing the reaction from outside. The shippers all looked on eagerly for an answer.
PIETRO: *Realizes he could piss off a lot of rabid fangirls/shippers*
DUKI: "Here's a tip. If you answer wrong, not even I will be able to save you."
PIETRO: "Well. . . I. . . kinda *mutters something in superspeed*
DUKI: "Wise choice Quickie. You're not just good looks after all."
Audience seems disappointed.
DUKI: "Eve asks: what kind of hair gel do you use?"
PIETRO: "Actually my hair stays this way naturally."
DUKI: *Looks insulted* "If you didn't want to reveal your secret you could've just said so."
PIETRO: "But I was telling the tru - "
DUKI: *Cuts in* "Eve also asks when did you first get your powers?"
PIETRO: "I really can't remember the exact time. But I did make daddy very proud."
DUKI: "Righto. WormmonABC asks, Pietro: Caffeine or adrenaline?
PIETRO: "Top choice: adrenaline. Most likely: Caffine + sugar."
DUKI: *types several commands into her desk-top computer* "I have one final question: would you like a challenge?"
PIETRO: "The word 'Duh' comes to mind. . ."
DUKI: "Great" *Evil* "Here's the low-down. Wear this tee-shirt *Holds up a 'Hug Me' imprinted shirt* I would've liked it to say something else but I have to keep this within the ratings."
PIETRO: "Continue."
DUKI: "Ok, wear this, and do a lap outside *Even more evil* If you survive, you go home."
PIETRO: "That's all?"
DUKI: "Yep." *Push a button that says 'release sugar junkie'. Pietro Maximoff's shackles are removed.*
Pietro grabs the shirt and changes while the fangirls drool.
DUKI: "I think you should go get Gambit now Pyro."
PYRO: *moans* "But it's getting to the good part!"
DUKI: "I'll have it on tape, now go!"
Pyro leaves slowly, complaining.
DUKI: "Forge? Arm the door defenses!"
Forge does something, several multicolored guns and cannons revolved to face the studio exit.
DUKI: "Ready? *Pietro nods* Crank open the door Forge!"
Forge does as he was told, mumbling something about his unfair treatment. The steel enforced doors opens with a couple of metallic sounds.
As soon as he could fit through the opening, Pietro was off in a blur. He was halfway round the fangirl-covered parking lot when he began to become over whelmed.
Forge and Rubber Duki watched from the platform as the speed-demon was carried off by a happy lot of fangirls (Alison Sky leading up front).
DUKI: "This goes to prove my theory . . . you can't mess with the power of obsession."
*BOOM!*
The portal door is blown clean off its hinges. A charred-around-the-edges looking Pyro appears through the doorway, dragging a struggling Remy LeBeau. Remy was currently charging and throwing as many cards as he could. One landed on the machine powering the portal. It went up in flames and multi-colored sparks.
DUKI: *shakes head as the sprinklers activate and cake all the charged cards in a layer of foam* "That was REALLY expensive."
REMY: "Gambit wants to know what the hell is going on here!"
DUKI: *Confused* "Didn't Pyro explain it to you?"
REMY: "Oui, dat was why I struggled so much."
DUKI: *Frowns* "Read the sign."
REMY: *Looks at all his fans carrying signs* "Which one?"
DUKI: *Points to the memo board.* "My sign."
REMY: *Reads the memo about using another language.* "But dat's ridiculous!"
FORGE: "That's what I said. Trust me, she won't listen."
REMY: "Remy has decided dat dis meeting is over! I'm leaving!"
DUKI: "Ok then. Exit's that way, seeing how you blew up the portal."
*Audience boos.*
PYRO: *Puzzled, very* "You're letting him go? After all the trouble it took to get him here?"
DUKI: "Yep."
Remy opens the side door. . . to face hundreds of squealing fangirls.
REMY: *Slams door* "Remy has suddenly decided to stay."
DUKI: "Remy makes wise choices." *Waves a hand towards the guest chair.* "Take a seat please."
Remy does so. As usual, shackles keep him there
DUKI: "Here's the questions. The first four are from Tali, which is pretty much the same as the questions she had for Speedy. Number one: Have you ever glanced at a dryer and got transfixed by the swirling colors the clothes make?"
REMY: "Non."
PYRO: "Yes you have! You'd always sit in front of the dryer when you're washing that trench coat."
REMY: "Well if no one tried to steal Remy's undert'ings den I wouldn't have that problem."
PYRO: "So sue me for trying to raise some money selling memorabilia. I'm not exactly being highly paid here."
DUKI: "Save it for after the show you two, this isn't a Jerry Springer show look-a-like. Next question: Vegemite or marmite? And before you ask, it's a spread. Would you like to try some?"
An electronic hand shoves a couple of crackers into Gambit's mouth before he could reply.
REMY: *Chews* "Me t'inks I liked de second cracker."
DUKI: *To Forge* "What did you put on the second one?"
FORGE: *Scratches head* "I really can't remember."
DUKI: *Starts to rethink the whole zombie idea* "3. Blondes or Brunettes?"
REMY: "Remy was always partial to brunettes. . . *Several members of the audience starts to scribble down notes to dye their hair* . . . but I like blondes just fine."
DUKI: "Number four: Which of the X-girls would you most like to go out with and why?"
*Silence as everyone pays extreme attention.*
REMY: *Thinking* 'If Remy says Rogue den de Rietro fans'll get mad. If Remy don't say Rogue den de Romy fans will get mad. . .'
REMY: *Speaks out loud* "Um. . . Remy hasn't known any of the X-girls well enough to like zem just yet."
DUKI: *Claps hands* "Smart Cajun boy."
Some fans looks frustrated, but not that aggravated - yet.
DUKI: "This is from Spencerblaze: Remy, why are your eyes red? lol did you charge them or something?? I always wanted to know that. . ."
REMY: "Actually, My eyes are like this because of my mutation. . ."
DUKI: "I'll take over the explaining here. You see. . . *A complex diagram of an eye is displayed onscreen* For the iris to turn out as completely black while the pupil is red is because of the color detecting and reflection fragments. . . *Five minutes later* - and THAT'S why Gambit there's eyes are the way they are."
FORGE: "You made most of that up didn't you?"
DUKI: "Only after the first sentence."
REMY: "Hello? Remy's getting old here."
DUKI: "Oh, right, the questions. Eve asks: when did you first get your powers?"
REMY: "Let's just say I got in trouble one time when I was younger. I learnt to defend myself with my powers."
DUKI: "Eve also asks: Why did the show give Remy brown eyes the time he was seen?"
REMY: "Huh?"
DUKI: "I think I should answer that one. I don't know, and I doubt that Gambit knows either. It was odd too, how they gave him red eyes in 'Stuff of Villans' and 'Dark Horizon Part I and II' "
REMY: "Can you stop speaking like Gambit's not here?"
DUKI: "Hey, you talk in third-person, so I can too. Last one from Eve: What's Remy favorite brand of cards?"
REMY: "I don't really care, as long as they're cards."
DUKI: "I think that's all the questions - *The ground shakes for a couple of seconds.* What was that?"
FORGE: "I don't know. Avalanche isn't supposed to be here till next time. . . "
PYRO: "INCOMING!!!"
*More shaking*
FORGE: *Looks out the window* "It looks like the Fangirls have built some sort of battering ram out of all their signs."
DUKI: *Thinks for a sec* "One last thing Remy, I really hate you for blowing up my portal - "
REMY: "Wow, Remy feels loved."
DUKI: " - how do you feel like emergency exits?"
REMY: "What kind of - "
Duki pushes another button (how many does she have? More that enough.). A pothole opens in the middle of the studio floor.
REMY: "- Exit. . ."
DUKI: "Down the hatch everyone. If they get in, it won't be pretty."
They do as they're told (Pyro, Forge and Remy being 'they'). The pothole closes just as the door breaks down.
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of -"
*Boom* ~ that's the sound of a thousand fangirls searching for Remy LeBeau.
*******
Duki ~ I've discovered a formulae! Reviews + Ideas equals writer write faster!! *maniac laughter*
Forge ~ She's sleep deprived. Tali threatened that if she didn't get the chapter up she'll get a very looong phone call.
Pyro ~ I can't believe Remy had THAT many fangirls. . .
Next time: Lancie poo and Rogue.
-Rubber Duki
Only 98% of this is genuine. 2% unavoidable made up stuff.
You have been warned.
Disclaimer: Me own nothing. You should know that by now.
****
The lights DON'T go on. They stay where they are, off.
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge? We're starting!"
*A couple of minutes later*
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: "Forge? Why isn't the lights on?"
*A minute more*
Duki steps onto the stage and flicks the lights on herself. She then proceeds to make plans on how to hurt Forge.
DUKI: *Spots Forge and Pyro on the observation platform looking outside through a window* "What are you two doing? The show's starting!"
Forge gestures for Rubber Duki to climb up and see for herself.
DUKI: "What the. . ."
Outside the studio gathered hundreds'n thousands of fangirls (and a few fanboys too). Each holding up signs like 'We love you Remy!' or 'Marry me Pietro!'. There were also a few noticeable 'Romy' and 'Rietro' fans hanging around.
DUKI: "Wow! There's even a few Pyro fangirls."
And there they were. Holding up signs that said 'St John Allerdyce' in various stages of misspelling.
PYRO: *Pointing at the signs with the spelling mistakes* "Those must be the new-age fangirls. They're appearing more often after X2 came out." *Opens the window and starts yelling* "The X2 Pyro is in the studio next door!" *Points to the studio next to them, it had X2 PYRO in big neon signs.*
The fangirls immediately rushed towards their new destination.
PYRO: *To Duki* "Watch this." *Evil*
Pyro opens the throttle on his flame-thrower (Which now burns on biodiesel thanks to Kitty's advice) and wrote 'RIETRO' in huge block letters of fire above the crowd.
Seeing this, the Romy fans started arguing with the Rietro ones and soon there was a mini war going on.
DUKI: *Sighs* "I'm so glad that the studio walls are built of solid titanium."
FORGE: *Puzzled* "I never knew you were a Rietro fan John."
PYRO: "I'm not a fan. I just think it makes better sense than Romy."
FORGE: "No it doesn't! Pietro's never looked at Rouge once and Remy is definitely more interested in her."
PYRO: "Romy'll be a terrible pairing!"
FORGE: "Less disgusting than Rietro."
Rubber Duki shakes her head and climbs down to her desk while the other two go at each other over shipping disagreements.
DUKI: *Realizing that Pyro won't be doing his voice over* "I guess I'll have to improvise. . ." *Turns to face the audience ~ the bleachers are completely filled with fangirls carrying signs.*
DUKI: *surprised* "Holy. . . big turnout." *Smiles* "Welcome to my show everybody."
The audience applauds ~ Duki almost dies of happiness.
DUKI: *Sighs* "I've been waiting for that for a long time."
*Meanwhile*
PYRO: "REITRO!"
FORGE: "No, ROMY!"
PYRO: *Pauses* "DIE!"
The two starts wrestling while Duki just shakes her head.
DUKI: "That's just wrong on so many different levels." *She pulls a lever that was beside her desk, a tub of water it tipped onto the two.*
Pyro and Forge stops what they're doing.
DUKI: "Done?"
PYRO & FORGE: *nods*
DUKI: *Turns back to face the audience* "Seeing how the gathering of so many enthused fangirls could become a threat, I've devised a demonstration. Pyro?"
Pyro gives a thumbs up from up in the platform.
DUKI: "Observe."
She tosses a tomato to the edge of the stage. It lands with a splat.
PYRO: "You just wasted some perfectly good food . . . what was the point?"
DUKI: *Wide eyed* "You were supposed to toast that tomato you mor- *Notices Pyro's Flame-thrower cocked and ready* mor-aniac?"
PYRO: "Why?"
DUKI: "To show the viewers what would happen if they try to cross onto the stage."
PYRO: "But why would a tomato want to go onstage?"
Rubber Duki rubs her temples, wondering why couldn't she have hired zombies like everyone else.
Forge taps Pyro on the shoulder and explains the concepts of the demonstration.
DUKI: "Do you get the idea now?"
PYRO: *Nods*
DUKI: "Good, now lets give it another try."
Rubber Duki searches for another tomato, couldn't find any, so she threw an egg instead.
Pyro took aim and let loose a cloud of flames. The fire engulfed the egg, successfully hard-boiling it and an unfortunate audience member. The cooked egg landed on a fangirl's sign. The cooked audience member coughed ashes.
DUKI: *Impressed* "Nice shot Pyro."
PYRO: *Takes a bow*
DUKI: "Remember when Kitty ruined nearly every piece of equipment in here that ran on electricity?"
Random people nods.
DUKI: "I took that as a chance to renovate." *Presses a button her armrest. A huge screen is lowered from a slot in the ceiling.*
FORGE: "Plasma screen. 41 inch. Installed it myself."
DUKI: "And here are the comments from our reviewers." *The screen flickers on, displaying questions, comments etc. . .*
DUKI: "Katterree Fengari asks how would this show be politically correct. . .?"
FORGE: "Well for one - "
PYRO: "We could lose that sign."
He points at a memo board. Scribbled across it says: 1) Don't use your 70s lingo Forge. 2) Pyro, please don't over exaggerate your Australian accent. I know it's funny but you're giving your country more stereotypes than it can cope with. 3) Please don't use any language other than English unless you can translate it with a false British accent.
DUKI: "What's wrong with my sign?"
FORGE: "It's ridiculous."
DUKI: *Shrugs* "I think that's all the comments/questions that's not for our guest. Thanks to all you reviewers for contributing ^.^"
PYRO: "Looks like I'll have to get Pietro now." *Half the audience cheers loudly*
DUKI: "Don't bother, he actually booked himself for the show after he heard Todd came. He should be here - "
A blur rushes out from the trans-dimentional portal.
DUKI: " -now"
PIETRO: *Looks at all the fangirls* "I do attract a good crowd don't I." *Gives audience his famous Quicksilver smirk*
Half the audience (inside and outside the studio) swoons/drools/ acts fangirlish.
Pietro sits down on the guest chair. Shackles appear, and secure him onto the chair before he could react (He may be fast but my machines are faster ^.- )
PIETRO: "Hey! You told me I wouldn't be restrained!"
DUKI: "I lied. Let's just say I changed my mind after Toad sent me a footage of what happened last the time you had a sugar high."
PIETRO: "Fine. On with the questions."
DUKI: *Takes out a remote control and punches in several commands. Questions are displayed on the screen.* "You're a popular boy Speedy. This could take a while. . ."
PIETRO: *Drums fingers on armrest*
DUKI: "The first five questions are from Tali. She asks: Have you ever glanced at a dryer and got transfixed by the swirling colors the clothes make?"
PIETRO: "I've never gotten transfixed before. Probably because the dryer at the brotherhood house doesn't work."
DUKI: "Next question: Vegemite or marmite?"
PIETRO: "What's that?"
DUKI: "They're stuff you put on bread/crackers. Popular here in Australia and New Zealand. You can try some if you want." *Steps on a peddle. A machine arm feeds Pietro two crackers, one with vegemite and the other with marmite.*
DUKI: *Watches Pietro chew* "Well?"
PIETRO: "That stuff tasted worse than slime!"
DUKI: "Your opinion I guess. Number three from Tali: Blondes or Brunettes?"
The girls in the audience listened intently for the answer. Eager to figure what color to dye their hair.
PIETRO: "As long as they're female. . ."
Duki decides not to bring up the discussion about Speedy's 'Fruitiness'
DUKI: "4: When your running does everything else go really slow or do you just go really fast?"
PIETRO: *Preens* "Everything seems to go slow for me. And yeah, I'm pretty fast as well. It's a combination of those two."
DUKI: "Last question from Tali: Which of the X-girls would you most like to go out with and why?. *Looks amused* If you're smart you'll choose not to answer that one."
Pietro looks at the Romy/Rietro supporters. A live camera feed was displayed on another screen, showing the reaction from outside. The shippers all looked on eagerly for an answer.
PIETRO: *Realizes he could piss off a lot of rabid fangirls/shippers*
DUKI: "Here's a tip. If you answer wrong, not even I will be able to save you."
PIETRO: "Well. . . I. . . kinda *mutters something in superspeed*
DUKI: "Wise choice Quickie. You're not just good looks after all."
Audience seems disappointed.
DUKI: "Eve asks: what kind of hair gel do you use?"
PIETRO: "Actually my hair stays this way naturally."
DUKI: *Looks insulted* "If you didn't want to reveal your secret you could've just said so."
PIETRO: "But I was telling the tru - "
DUKI: *Cuts in* "Eve also asks when did you first get your powers?"
PIETRO: "I really can't remember the exact time. But I did make daddy very proud."
DUKI: "Righto. WormmonABC asks, Pietro: Caffeine or adrenaline?
PIETRO: "Top choice: adrenaline. Most likely: Caffine + sugar."
DUKI: *types several commands into her desk-top computer* "I have one final question: would you like a challenge?"
PIETRO: "The word 'Duh' comes to mind. . ."
DUKI: "Great" *Evil* "Here's the low-down. Wear this tee-shirt *Holds up a 'Hug Me' imprinted shirt* I would've liked it to say something else but I have to keep this within the ratings."
PIETRO: "Continue."
DUKI: "Ok, wear this, and do a lap outside *Even more evil* If you survive, you go home."
PIETRO: "That's all?"
DUKI: "Yep." *Push a button that says 'release sugar junkie'. Pietro Maximoff's shackles are removed.*
Pietro grabs the shirt and changes while the fangirls drool.
DUKI: "I think you should go get Gambit now Pyro."
PYRO: *moans* "But it's getting to the good part!"
DUKI: "I'll have it on tape, now go!"
Pyro leaves slowly, complaining.
DUKI: "Forge? Arm the door defenses!"
Forge does something, several multicolored guns and cannons revolved to face the studio exit.
DUKI: "Ready? *Pietro nods* Crank open the door Forge!"
Forge does as he was told, mumbling something about his unfair treatment. The steel enforced doors opens with a couple of metallic sounds.
As soon as he could fit through the opening, Pietro was off in a blur. He was halfway round the fangirl-covered parking lot when he began to become over whelmed.
Forge and Rubber Duki watched from the platform as the speed-demon was carried off by a happy lot of fangirls (Alison Sky leading up front).
DUKI: "This goes to prove my theory . . . you can't mess with the power of obsession."
*BOOM!*
The portal door is blown clean off its hinges. A charred-around-the-edges looking Pyro appears through the doorway, dragging a struggling Remy LeBeau. Remy was currently charging and throwing as many cards as he could. One landed on the machine powering the portal. It went up in flames and multi-colored sparks.
DUKI: *shakes head as the sprinklers activate and cake all the charged cards in a layer of foam* "That was REALLY expensive."
REMY: "Gambit wants to know what the hell is going on here!"
DUKI: *Confused* "Didn't Pyro explain it to you?"
REMY: "Oui, dat was why I struggled so much."
DUKI: *Frowns* "Read the sign."
REMY: *Looks at all his fans carrying signs* "Which one?"
DUKI: *Points to the memo board.* "My sign."
REMY: *Reads the memo about using another language.* "But dat's ridiculous!"
FORGE: "That's what I said. Trust me, she won't listen."
REMY: "Remy has decided dat dis meeting is over! I'm leaving!"
DUKI: "Ok then. Exit's that way, seeing how you blew up the portal."
*Audience boos.*
PYRO: *Puzzled, very* "You're letting him go? After all the trouble it took to get him here?"
DUKI: "Yep."
Remy opens the side door. . . to face hundreds of squealing fangirls.
REMY: *Slams door* "Remy has suddenly decided to stay."
DUKI: "Remy makes wise choices." *Waves a hand towards the guest chair.* "Take a seat please."
Remy does so. As usual, shackles keep him there
DUKI: "Here's the questions. The first four are from Tali, which is pretty much the same as the questions she had for Speedy. Number one: Have you ever glanced at a dryer and got transfixed by the swirling colors the clothes make?"
REMY: "Non."
PYRO: "Yes you have! You'd always sit in front of the dryer when you're washing that trench coat."
REMY: "Well if no one tried to steal Remy's undert'ings den I wouldn't have that problem."
PYRO: "So sue me for trying to raise some money selling memorabilia. I'm not exactly being highly paid here."
DUKI: "Save it for after the show you two, this isn't a Jerry Springer show look-a-like. Next question: Vegemite or marmite? And before you ask, it's a spread. Would you like to try some?"
An electronic hand shoves a couple of crackers into Gambit's mouth before he could reply.
REMY: *Chews* "Me t'inks I liked de second cracker."
DUKI: *To Forge* "What did you put on the second one?"
FORGE: *Scratches head* "I really can't remember."
DUKI: *Starts to rethink the whole zombie idea* "3. Blondes or Brunettes?"
REMY: "Remy was always partial to brunettes. . . *Several members of the audience starts to scribble down notes to dye their hair* . . . but I like blondes just fine."
DUKI: "Number four: Which of the X-girls would you most like to go out with and why?"
*Silence as everyone pays extreme attention.*
REMY: *Thinking* 'If Remy says Rogue den de Rietro fans'll get mad. If Remy don't say Rogue den de Romy fans will get mad. . .'
REMY: *Speaks out loud* "Um. . . Remy hasn't known any of the X-girls well enough to like zem just yet."
DUKI: *Claps hands* "Smart Cajun boy."
Some fans looks frustrated, but not that aggravated - yet.
DUKI: "This is from Spencerblaze: Remy, why are your eyes red? lol did you charge them or something?? I always wanted to know that. . ."
REMY: "Actually, My eyes are like this because of my mutation. . ."
DUKI: "I'll take over the explaining here. You see. . . *A complex diagram of an eye is displayed onscreen* For the iris to turn out as completely black while the pupil is red is because of the color detecting and reflection fragments. . . *Five minutes later* - and THAT'S why Gambit there's eyes are the way they are."
FORGE: "You made most of that up didn't you?"
DUKI: "Only after the first sentence."
REMY: "Hello? Remy's getting old here."
DUKI: "Oh, right, the questions. Eve asks: when did you first get your powers?"
REMY: "Let's just say I got in trouble one time when I was younger. I learnt to defend myself with my powers."
DUKI: "Eve also asks: Why did the show give Remy brown eyes the time he was seen?"
REMY: "Huh?"
DUKI: "I think I should answer that one. I don't know, and I doubt that Gambit knows either. It was odd too, how they gave him red eyes in 'Stuff of Villans' and 'Dark Horizon Part I and II' "
REMY: "Can you stop speaking like Gambit's not here?"
DUKI: "Hey, you talk in third-person, so I can too. Last one from Eve: What's Remy favorite brand of cards?"
REMY: "I don't really care, as long as they're cards."
DUKI: "I think that's all the questions - *The ground shakes for a couple of seconds.* What was that?"
FORGE: "I don't know. Avalanche isn't supposed to be here till next time. . . "
PYRO: "INCOMING!!!"
*More shaking*
FORGE: *Looks out the window* "It looks like the Fangirls have built some sort of battering ram out of all their signs."
DUKI: *Thinks for a sec* "One last thing Remy, I really hate you for blowing up my portal - "
REMY: "Wow, Remy feels loved."
DUKI: " - how do you feel like emergency exits?"
REMY: "What kind of - "
Duki pushes another button (how many does she have? More that enough.). A pothole opens in the middle of the studio floor.
REMY: "- Exit. . ."
DUKI: "Down the hatch everyone. If they get in, it won't be pretty."
They do as they're told (Pyro, Forge and Remy being 'they'). The pothole closes just as the door breaks down.
VOICE OVER GUY (which is a pre-recording of Pyro's voice): "And that's all for now. Tune in next time for another fun-filled episode of -"
*Boom* ~ that's the sound of a thousand fangirls searching for Remy LeBeau.
*******
Duki ~ I've discovered a formulae! Reviews + Ideas equals writer write faster!! *maniac laughter*
Forge ~ She's sleep deprived. Tali threatened that if she didn't get the chapter up she'll get a very looong phone call.
Pyro ~ I can't believe Remy had THAT many fangirls. . .
Next time: Lancie poo and Rogue.
-Rubber Duki
