Chapter Four

September 29th

The time goes by so quickly when I'm with Zack. And when we're not together (which isn't often) it seems to go by so slowly, I can barely stand it.

We are together all the time now. He comes over after school and we do our homework, it takes us awhile because we get preoccupied but we manage to get it all done. He's so smart, he is really good at science so he helps me a lot in Chemistry.

He hasn't met my mother yet. She is starting to go back into her shell. She was okay for while, thought she never did leave the house. But now she sleeps a lot and will hardly eat anything unless I bring it to her and practically feed her. I am ashamed to admit it but I wish she'd just get over it. She won't get the guy and put him in jail, so she should just forget about it. I personally think she would feel much better if she got the police to arrest him.

"But I don't even know who he is," she said one night when I brought up some spaghetti I had made for her. That was another thing that had changed; I had to make dinner.

"You can remember his face can't you?" I asked.

Her lower lip quivered and she shook her head no. I knew she was lying.

I've lost all hope on Dad. He is rarely if ever home now. He says it's because of the restaurant but I know it's not true. I can tell when people are lying. Dad knows that but he doesn't seem to care. He knows something is wrong with Mom but he chooses to ignore it.

I know where he goes at night too. He goes out with random women he meets in bars or at the restaurant. I've seen him sneaking them into the house through the back door. He always sleeps in the guest room now.

One of these times, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind,

Yeah, one of these times.

October 1st

Zack and I were together all weekend. We even hung out with Justin and Tina who are going out now. I'm glad that Justin is over me. I don't think I could handle it if he and Zack were still fighting. I think I'm really starting to fall in love with Zack and I couldn't bear dumping him if that was what it came to.

Tina and I have a lot in common actually. Her parents are divorced, which I sadly think is what my parents are going to become. She likes the same kind of music as me, (country). And she is obsessed with ice cappuccinos.

Not many people like country so I think this could be a pretty good friendship.

October 2nd I'm in English class right now. We are supposed to be reading but it's just so boring. I really don't like reading. Zack has invited me to go to his house for dinner on Wednesday. I'll meet his parents and his older brother. I'm really nervous about it. Of course I've been to his house before but I haven't even seen his family. They always seem to be out or busy with something else.

Oh silent reading is over, got to go.

October 4th - Late

I just got back from Zack's house. The dinner was fabulous! I think his family is so nice! They were so gracious and polite to me. I'm dying to write down everything that happened.

When I got there I was so nervous. Their butler, Drew answered the door looking very formal in his tuxedo. I couldn't imagine having a butler. We had had a maid and a cook before but never a butler. Zack was right behind him wearing a gray suit with a tie and dress shirt. I was glad then that I had decided to wear my black dress. Obviously dinner here was a very formal event. I had pulled my dark brown hair into a loose ponytail and I put a little bit of makeup on. I knew that some people thought girls shouldn't wear makeup but I decided it would be okay if I wore a little.

"You look gorgeous," Zack said pulling me into his arms. Drew had already disappeared into the huge house.

Zack leaned down and kissed me lightly on the tip of my nose. He always said he loved my nose.

I could smell his cologne and I took a deep breath. I had already grown to love that smell.

Zack led me into the sitting room. My heart had slowed down a little bit. Just seeing Zack had calmed me down a great deal. I knew I would be fine as long as he was with me.

In the sitting room was Zack's father, mother and brother.

"Mother, Father, Freddy, this is Hannah Webster," Zack said. I smiled at them all as they stood up to introduce themselves one at a time. I couldn't get over how formal and polite they all were. I didn't know that if they liked me or not, I think they would be far too gracious to let it show if they didn't.

Maxine was his mother. She had brown hair that was cut very stylishly. Her eyes were pale blue but very beautiful. She had high cheekbones and what could be called an hour glass figure. I thought she was what could be called a classic beauty.

Michael was his father. He had black hair that was starting to turn gray. But he was the type of man who would be even more handsome with gray hair. It would just make him look more dignified. His eyes were dark brown and they sparkled when he smiled. His eyes were very inviting and friendly and I felt comfortable with him immediately.

Freddy, as Zack called him, was his older brother. He was astonishingly handsome. Almost like he was a Greek god. His jaw was square and his features very chiseled. When he smiled he showed off very white teeth. His eyes were brown like his fathers and had the same sparkle in them. He shook my hand and looked me up and down. Surprisingly this didn't make me feel uncomfortable. It didn't seem like he was leering, he was only taking a look.

We spoke in the sitting room for a while. I told them about where I had lived before Toronto and how my father owned the restaurant.

"We'll have to go there sometime, won't we Michael?" Maxine said. She smiled at him. They seemed so happy together. Michael was the quiet, dignified type. But he didn't seem conceited, as much as just confident. He could achieve anything he set his mind too. I could see so much of him in Zack.

Freddy talked about college and how he planned to become an architect. I could tell that both Maxine and Michael were very proud of him.

For dinner we had duck. I have had it many times before at my fathers restaurant and I enjoyed it very much. The chocolate cheesecake we had for dessert was also very delicious.

We talked for a long time after dinner. I really liked talking with all of them. We talked about everything from third world countries to the weather. I had a wonderful time there and I was almost sad when it was time to leave. I thanked them profusely for having me and Zack took me to the front door.

"I had a great time," I told him.

"I know," he said, smiling. He kissed me once and then helped me get my coat on.

So, it was back to the quiet, loneliness that was my life at home. Too bad my family couldn't be more like Zack's. I wished we could be closer.

It was silent when I came into the house. I assumed that Dad was out with yet another mistress and Mom was in bed.

I miss Zack already and I can't wait to see him again tomorrow.

October 7th

Zack told me his family loved me. I'm so happy! I can't remember ever feeling this good. I feel like my life is pretty much exactly how it is supposed to be.

Well except for Dad. I would like it if he was home more often even if I didn't spend time with him. Mom needed him so much.

She knows what he does at night. This house isn't that big that she can ignore the sounds in the night of my father and his mistress.

He actually does have a regular mistress now. Her name is Olivia and she dresses like a prostitute. I still haven't given them a piece of my mind and I feel ready to explode sometimes. I so want to bring Zack here for dinner but I'm ashamed. Ashamed of my own family. Terrible, isn't it?

October 8th

Zack and I are getting closer. Just tonight he came over and we stayed in my room her four hours straight. I stopped it before it went too far but it was hard.

I don't want to be one of those girls who will sleep with their boyfriends when they have only been dating them for a month.

I have to wait and I will force myself to do just that no matter how hard it is.

I love him I think! I'm just so happy. I can't imagine being with anyone but him and I really think he feels the same way. But sex is a big step and I want to make sure I'm ready before I do anything about it.

I think it is very important to feel safe and comfortable with the people you sleep with. I have never done it before but I know what I want.

I've changed so much since I met Zack. I'm much more fun loving and spontaneous. I actually like myself more when I'm around him. When we are apart I almost feel depressed. It is easy to feel that way in this house. Communication has literally come to a complete stop. It isn't healthy and I think Mom is really feeling the tension.

As usual, Dad barely notices.

Zack is my only refuge and I'm afraid of what would happen to me if I ever lost him. I don't want to find out.