This is a parody script of Star Wars, and is NOT a motion picture. I wish
it was, though! I own all of these characters, so don't sue me!
Below is the cast (duh!). I am NOT implying that (most) of you are stupid, but to avoid confusion for those special people, I have included in (parenthesis) the Star Wars characters (which, I DO NOT OWN! George Lucas does!)
Cast:
Lord Soda (Yoda)
Zit Buke Whopper (Luke Skywalker)
Ahm Zit Polo (Han Solo)
Turkey Fat (C3-PO)
Oxy Cream (Darth Vader)
Chicken Grease (R2-D2)
Wet Naps (Storm Troopers)
Lemon-Soaked Wet Naps (Snow Troopers)
Many days ago, the face of teenager Robby Beiber was spotted with many Zits. The Zits of Robby were happy, and they didn't want to leave. Robby Beiber did. In order to get the Zits off his face, he bought Oxy Cream. He also tried Wet Naps. Out of plain stupidity, he tried chicken grease. Somehow, turkey fat came into the picture. Most Zits were killed by Oxy Cream. The few that weren't, were hated by the Dark Lord, Oxy Cream. He trained many Wet Naps, and was ready to attack.
So were the Zits. They attacked with sweat-guns made by Trooper-Soaker, and tore apart the Wet Naps. Oxy Cream had a trick up his sleeve, too, as he and the Wet Naps use Zit-B-Gone guns to kill the Zits. This is the beginning of.
(cool effect of transition title flies on-screen)
Zit Wars
(zooms in on planet Earth, then keeps on zooming in to the United States of America, then closer to Florida, then even closer to a city near Tampa, and finally to a house, where it stops in front of a boy with red hair, about the age 12)
Boy (who's name is Robby Beiber, we will refer to him as Robby): OH MY GOD, I HAVE A FACE FULL OF PIMPLES! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THE DANCE IS THIS FRIDAY!
Robby's Mother (who will always be named "Robby's Mother", as she rarely appears in the movie): Robby! Stop shouting, you'll wake up you sister!
Robby: But, I've got a face full of pimp-
Robby's Mother: Zippit!
Robby: But-
Robby's Mother: Zippit!
Robby: You are SO copying off of Austi-
Robby's Mother: When a problem comes along, you must ZIP IT!(makes zipping noise)
Robby: You can get sued for that, you know!
Robby's Mother: No I can't, it's just quoting! Now, hurry up, you'll be late for school!
Robby: No! I'm not going!
Robby's Mother: Yes you are, now hurry up!
Robby: Fine!(gets out a tube of Oxy-Cream, and a bag of Oxy-Naps [who, for some reason, put the word "Oxy" on every product they create])
(camera zooms in on one of Robby's denser-populated Zit areas)
(zooms in on a house-like area in cheek)
Zit Buke Whopper: Mother, Father, I believe that I should follow father's career in farming the sweat glands, without the easier work of modern technology. It is best for the Whopper Farm.
Mother: Oh, we're so proud!
Father (who never gets enough sleep, due to the horrible and annoying Amish farming he must do): Whaaaa? Oh, yeah, whatever.(Father falls asleep again)
Zit Buke Whopper: I shall start the work with you tomorrow, Father, so teach me the ways of your farming.
(Father does not answer, as he is asleep again, facedown in his dinner)
Father: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..Zzzzzzzzzzzz..Zzzzzzzz...
Mother: Father! You've made your point! (slaps Father on the back)
(Father wakes up long enough to mumble "Ow", then falls asleep again, this time falling over backwards)
(Suddenly, Zit Buke Whopper, who suffers from Bipolar disease, jumped up and glared at his parents, or, his Mother, because his father was snoring under the table)
Zit Buke Whopper: I hate you all! I'm going to run away! I'm going to run away and away and away and away, and maybe even more away! I might never come home in a couple of days! (in case you can't tell, Zit Buke was raised in a very close family)
(Zit Buke Whopper runs out of the door, while his father sleep-talks, and his mother cries)
Zit Buke (muttering, as he runs): Stupid family.I'll teach them! Father wanting me to work on his sweat farm.Ha! As if I'd want to waste my time doing that! I'll teach them! Sweat farm.farm.of.sweat.(Buke suddenly realizes that HE wanted to work there, then realizes that his family did nothing wrong. He decides that, since now he's suddenly happy, to go back to the house. He has only walked about 15 millimeters [In his world, the world of Zits, that about 15 feet], so he suffers from EXTREME Bipolar disease)
(Zit Buke starts to jog back to his house. He sees a ship there, with 2 objects walking onboard. After abut a second, Buke realizes that these objects are alive. He keeps walking, not noticing that these living objects have guns, and are Wet Naps. Suddenly, he realizes it)
Zit Buke: Hey! Get back here, Wet Naps! I want to kill you! Aaaargh! (Buke is insane with anger, and then suddenly he is fine, figuring that nothing bad had happened)
(The ship takes off, and Zit Buke makes it to his house)
Zit Buke: Mother! Father! Wait, where IS Father?
(Buke's mother was covered in the white Zit-B-Gone. She was dead)
Zit Buke: Father? Where are you?
(Zit Buke looks under the table, and sees his father, also dead)
Zit Buke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (Buke gasps for breath) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Buke faints from lack of oxygen)
(Fade to black)
(Fade to seen in metal room, Buke is strapped to a bag of a brownish muck)
Zit Buke: Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha.. (Buke keeps babbling this for some time, until a shapeless ball of turkey fat (who's name was, amazingly, Turkey Fat) slowly murked into the room)
Turkey Fat: Shut up! We can here you through the whole ship! Just.shut.up!
(Puddle of chicken grease (which, once again, was named Chicken Grease) slurped into the room)
Chicken Grease: (Bubble, pop, bubble bubble, pop)
Turkey Fat: What?!? Are you POSTITIVE, Grease?
Chicken: (Bubble, pop!)
Turkey Fat: Well, then just keep Zit Buke Whopper quiet, and I'll take care of that!
(Turkey Fat rolls and flips out of the room)
Zit Buke: Who are you? What are you doing? Why am I here? Why are we born? Why do we die? Why is my name Buke??? Why are you gagging me-(mumble, mumble grunt!)
Chicken Grease: (Bubble, pop, pop-op-op! Bubble, bubble, pop-pop!)
Zit Buke: (Through much straining to get the gag off) I don't know what the Oxy Cream you're saying!
(Cut to Oxy Cream's base, which is to the right of the wrong, er, left eye)
Oxy Cream: (breathing loudly though mask) Napkins', ASSEMBLE!
(White Napkins line up)
(One Napkin comes up to the Tissue Lord)
Napkin: (Stuttering) Uh, uh, uh, uh, Darth Oxy Cream?
Darth Oxy Cream: What is it, Commander Wet Nappy? (breathing loudly)
Commander Wet Nappy: We, uh. We, uh. We, uh. We, uh. Uh, uh-
Darth Oxy Cream : SPEAK!!!!
Commander Wet Nappy: I couldn't kill the Rebel Zits, I just couldn't kill them all by myself! (Wet Nappy begins to sob, while mumbling incoherent phrases)
Commander Wet Nappy: Party! (Sob, sob, cry) Shouldn't of (sob, mumble, sob- sob) shouldn't have (sob-sob, cry) drank beer (sob) Good part (sob) par (sob) party!
Darth Oxy Cream: What?!?!?!? (loud breathing speed increasing)
(Silver cylinder flies across the room to Darth Oxy Cream)
(Cylinder (which is a Saber of Badness) lets a red beam out, in the shape of a sword)
Darth Oxy Cream: (gasping for breath, now) Failure is not accepted!!!
(Darth Oxy Cream goes to slice at Wet Nappy, but the Saber of Badness runs out of "C" batteries, because stupid 'ol Oxy Cream didn't use Energizer batteries, and flickers off)
Darth Oxy Cream: (bleep!)
Commander Wet Nappy: Uh, sir?
Darth Oxy Cream: What is it, now, Commander Wet Nappy? You've already gave me a migraine!
Commander Wet Nappy: You should've used Energizer.
(A pink bunny with sunglasses and a drum walks into the scene)
Pink Bunny (Who, as you know, or if you didn't know, is the Energizer bunny): I just keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going and-
(Energizer Bunny stops because he had his batteries taken out with Darth Oxy Cream's telekinetic powers)
Darth Oxy Cream: Fool! Now, you shall die for correcting me, and failing to do an impossible task!
(Darth Oxy Cream puts batteries into Saber of Badness, and Saber lights up again, this time making beeping and whooshing sound effects. The label is visible, and reads "Hasbro")
Commander Wet Nappy: No, please! PLEASE!!!
(Darth Oxy Cream Slices at the Commander, and Wet Nappy falls over, in two pieces)
Darth Oxy Cream: Commander Leemon, step forward!
(Leemon nervously comes up)
Leemon: Don't you mean, "Sergeant" Leemon?
Darth Oxy Cream: No, you are the commander.
Leemon: Th-th-tha-thank you, sir.
(Commander Leemon walks over and picks up Wet Nappy's hat, and goes back in line)
Darth Oxy Cream: As you can see, one's failure is another's prize! Move out!
(Napkins leave)
(Scene goes to see Robby Beiber sleeping in his bed, the lights are on)
Robby: (snoring, while muttering) No, no! Stop.Not moon.Craters? None.Stop.not off-road track.
(Zooms in on Robby Beiber's head, until camera gets to a white hair strand)
(White strand turns into white background)
(Camera zooms out to show motorcyclists racing on his face. The motorcycles are jumping over the zits. Camera zooms out to show Robby screaming)
Ironically, at that moment, many Zits were, in fact, BMXing around on his face.
Too Be Continued In- Zit Wars: The Zit of Death and General Badness
Well, what do you think? I tried, and it isn't exactly my best yet, but, I hope people like it! Please, since you enjoyed it (or possibly hated it), please review it!
I have prepared a review that you can fill out, copy, and past over to the review box:
Dear WritingGuy,
I thought that this part of the script was (fill in this spot with an adjective that describes your feeling toward this script)! Please, (Write/Don't Write) more! I hope that you are (happy/upset) with the (insults/compliments) I have gave you!
I am a (over-protective fan/parody-lover/ego maniac) who thinks that you should be (imprisoned/sent to the Loony Bin/given the Nobel Peace Prize, or some other medal) This is how I feel about your writing: (List multiple words that express you feelings toward what I am writing below)
(1)____________
(2)____________
(3)____________
(4)____________
Drop Dead,
(Your pen name here)
Below is the cast (duh!). I am NOT implying that (most) of you are stupid, but to avoid confusion for those special people, I have included in (parenthesis) the Star Wars characters (which, I DO NOT OWN! George Lucas does!)
Cast:
Lord Soda (Yoda)
Zit Buke Whopper (Luke Skywalker)
Ahm Zit Polo (Han Solo)
Turkey Fat (C3-PO)
Oxy Cream (Darth Vader)
Chicken Grease (R2-D2)
Wet Naps (Storm Troopers)
Lemon-Soaked Wet Naps (Snow Troopers)
Many days ago, the face of teenager Robby Beiber was spotted with many Zits. The Zits of Robby were happy, and they didn't want to leave. Robby Beiber did. In order to get the Zits off his face, he bought Oxy Cream. He also tried Wet Naps. Out of plain stupidity, he tried chicken grease. Somehow, turkey fat came into the picture. Most Zits were killed by Oxy Cream. The few that weren't, were hated by the Dark Lord, Oxy Cream. He trained many Wet Naps, and was ready to attack.
So were the Zits. They attacked with sweat-guns made by Trooper-Soaker, and tore apart the Wet Naps. Oxy Cream had a trick up his sleeve, too, as he and the Wet Naps use Zit-B-Gone guns to kill the Zits. This is the beginning of.
(cool effect of transition title flies on-screen)
Zit Wars
(zooms in on planet Earth, then keeps on zooming in to the United States of America, then closer to Florida, then even closer to a city near Tampa, and finally to a house, where it stops in front of a boy with red hair, about the age 12)
Boy (who's name is Robby Beiber, we will refer to him as Robby): OH MY GOD, I HAVE A FACE FULL OF PIMPLES! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THE DANCE IS THIS FRIDAY!
Robby's Mother (who will always be named "Robby's Mother", as she rarely appears in the movie): Robby! Stop shouting, you'll wake up you sister!
Robby: But, I've got a face full of pimp-
Robby's Mother: Zippit!
Robby: But-
Robby's Mother: Zippit!
Robby: You are SO copying off of Austi-
Robby's Mother: When a problem comes along, you must ZIP IT!(makes zipping noise)
Robby: You can get sued for that, you know!
Robby's Mother: No I can't, it's just quoting! Now, hurry up, you'll be late for school!
Robby: No! I'm not going!
Robby's Mother: Yes you are, now hurry up!
Robby: Fine!(gets out a tube of Oxy-Cream, and a bag of Oxy-Naps [who, for some reason, put the word "Oxy" on every product they create])
(camera zooms in on one of Robby's denser-populated Zit areas)
(zooms in on a house-like area in cheek)
Zit Buke Whopper: Mother, Father, I believe that I should follow father's career in farming the sweat glands, without the easier work of modern technology. It is best for the Whopper Farm.
Mother: Oh, we're so proud!
Father (who never gets enough sleep, due to the horrible and annoying Amish farming he must do): Whaaaa? Oh, yeah, whatever.(Father falls asleep again)
Zit Buke Whopper: I shall start the work with you tomorrow, Father, so teach me the ways of your farming.
(Father does not answer, as he is asleep again, facedown in his dinner)
Father: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..Zzzzzzzzzzzz..Zzzzzzzz...
Mother: Father! You've made your point! (slaps Father on the back)
(Father wakes up long enough to mumble "Ow", then falls asleep again, this time falling over backwards)
(Suddenly, Zit Buke Whopper, who suffers from Bipolar disease, jumped up and glared at his parents, or, his Mother, because his father was snoring under the table)
Zit Buke Whopper: I hate you all! I'm going to run away! I'm going to run away and away and away and away, and maybe even more away! I might never come home in a couple of days! (in case you can't tell, Zit Buke was raised in a very close family)
(Zit Buke Whopper runs out of the door, while his father sleep-talks, and his mother cries)
Zit Buke (muttering, as he runs): Stupid family.I'll teach them! Father wanting me to work on his sweat farm.Ha! As if I'd want to waste my time doing that! I'll teach them! Sweat farm.farm.of.sweat.(Buke suddenly realizes that HE wanted to work there, then realizes that his family did nothing wrong. He decides that, since now he's suddenly happy, to go back to the house. He has only walked about 15 millimeters [In his world, the world of Zits, that about 15 feet], so he suffers from EXTREME Bipolar disease)
(Zit Buke starts to jog back to his house. He sees a ship there, with 2 objects walking onboard. After abut a second, Buke realizes that these objects are alive. He keeps walking, not noticing that these living objects have guns, and are Wet Naps. Suddenly, he realizes it)
Zit Buke: Hey! Get back here, Wet Naps! I want to kill you! Aaaargh! (Buke is insane with anger, and then suddenly he is fine, figuring that nothing bad had happened)
(The ship takes off, and Zit Buke makes it to his house)
Zit Buke: Mother! Father! Wait, where IS Father?
(Buke's mother was covered in the white Zit-B-Gone. She was dead)
Zit Buke: Father? Where are you?
(Zit Buke looks under the table, and sees his father, also dead)
Zit Buke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (Buke gasps for breath) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Buke faints from lack of oxygen)
(Fade to black)
(Fade to seen in metal room, Buke is strapped to a bag of a brownish muck)
Zit Buke: Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha, wha.. (Buke keeps babbling this for some time, until a shapeless ball of turkey fat (who's name was, amazingly, Turkey Fat) slowly murked into the room)
Turkey Fat: Shut up! We can here you through the whole ship! Just.shut.up!
(Puddle of chicken grease (which, once again, was named Chicken Grease) slurped into the room)
Chicken Grease: (Bubble, pop, bubble bubble, pop)
Turkey Fat: What?!? Are you POSTITIVE, Grease?
Chicken: (Bubble, pop!)
Turkey Fat: Well, then just keep Zit Buke Whopper quiet, and I'll take care of that!
(Turkey Fat rolls and flips out of the room)
Zit Buke: Who are you? What are you doing? Why am I here? Why are we born? Why do we die? Why is my name Buke??? Why are you gagging me-(mumble, mumble grunt!)
Chicken Grease: (Bubble, pop, pop-op-op! Bubble, bubble, pop-pop!)
Zit Buke: (Through much straining to get the gag off) I don't know what the Oxy Cream you're saying!
(Cut to Oxy Cream's base, which is to the right of the wrong, er, left eye)
Oxy Cream: (breathing loudly though mask) Napkins', ASSEMBLE!
(White Napkins line up)
(One Napkin comes up to the Tissue Lord)
Napkin: (Stuttering) Uh, uh, uh, uh, Darth Oxy Cream?
Darth Oxy Cream: What is it, Commander Wet Nappy? (breathing loudly)
Commander Wet Nappy: We, uh. We, uh. We, uh. We, uh. Uh, uh-
Darth Oxy Cream : SPEAK!!!!
Commander Wet Nappy: I couldn't kill the Rebel Zits, I just couldn't kill them all by myself! (Wet Nappy begins to sob, while mumbling incoherent phrases)
Commander Wet Nappy: Party! (Sob, sob, cry) Shouldn't of (sob, mumble, sob- sob) shouldn't have (sob-sob, cry) drank beer (sob) Good part (sob) par (sob) party!
Darth Oxy Cream: What?!?!?!? (loud breathing speed increasing)
(Silver cylinder flies across the room to Darth Oxy Cream)
(Cylinder (which is a Saber of Badness) lets a red beam out, in the shape of a sword)
Darth Oxy Cream: (gasping for breath, now) Failure is not accepted!!!
(Darth Oxy Cream goes to slice at Wet Nappy, but the Saber of Badness runs out of "C" batteries, because stupid 'ol Oxy Cream didn't use Energizer batteries, and flickers off)
Darth Oxy Cream: (bleep!)
Commander Wet Nappy: Uh, sir?
Darth Oxy Cream: What is it, now, Commander Wet Nappy? You've already gave me a migraine!
Commander Wet Nappy: You should've used Energizer.
(A pink bunny with sunglasses and a drum walks into the scene)
Pink Bunny (Who, as you know, or if you didn't know, is the Energizer bunny): I just keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going and-
(Energizer Bunny stops because he had his batteries taken out with Darth Oxy Cream's telekinetic powers)
Darth Oxy Cream: Fool! Now, you shall die for correcting me, and failing to do an impossible task!
(Darth Oxy Cream puts batteries into Saber of Badness, and Saber lights up again, this time making beeping and whooshing sound effects. The label is visible, and reads "Hasbro")
Commander Wet Nappy: No, please! PLEASE!!!
(Darth Oxy Cream Slices at the Commander, and Wet Nappy falls over, in two pieces)
Darth Oxy Cream: Commander Leemon, step forward!
(Leemon nervously comes up)
Leemon: Don't you mean, "Sergeant" Leemon?
Darth Oxy Cream: No, you are the commander.
Leemon: Th-th-tha-thank you, sir.
(Commander Leemon walks over and picks up Wet Nappy's hat, and goes back in line)
Darth Oxy Cream: As you can see, one's failure is another's prize! Move out!
(Napkins leave)
(Scene goes to see Robby Beiber sleeping in his bed, the lights are on)
Robby: (snoring, while muttering) No, no! Stop.Not moon.Craters? None.Stop.not off-road track.
(Zooms in on Robby Beiber's head, until camera gets to a white hair strand)
(White strand turns into white background)
(Camera zooms out to show motorcyclists racing on his face. The motorcycles are jumping over the zits. Camera zooms out to show Robby screaming)
Ironically, at that moment, many Zits were, in fact, BMXing around on his face.
Too Be Continued In- Zit Wars: The Zit of Death and General Badness
Well, what do you think? I tried, and it isn't exactly my best yet, but, I hope people like it! Please, since you enjoyed it (or possibly hated it), please review it!
I have prepared a review that you can fill out, copy, and past over to the review box:
Dear WritingGuy,
I thought that this part of the script was (fill in this spot with an adjective that describes your feeling toward this script)! Please, (Write/Don't Write) more! I hope that you are (happy/upset) with the (insults/compliments) I have gave you!
I am a (over-protective fan/parody-lover/ego maniac) who thinks that you should be (imprisoned/sent to the Loony Bin/given the Nobel Peace Prize, or some other medal) This is how I feel about your writing: (List multiple words that express you feelings toward what I am writing below)
(1)____________
(2)____________
(3)____________
(4)____________
Drop Dead,
(Your pen name here)
