Disclaimer: Ok…I'm too lazy to rethink some new ways of writing my disclaimers, so I'm going to copy it off one chapter or another and paste it here: I still don't own HP, which is kind of sad really. I wonder if wishing upon a shooting star really works? *lol* Not that there are any shooting stars in Singapore though. Maybe JKR would give me HP for my birthday present. *grinz* For now, HP still belongs to JKR and however she sees fit and the only thing I own is the plot I guess, though it's not too original in the first place. *sighz*
Author's Notes: Bwahahahahaha!!! My exams are finally over and I'm back with a vengeance!
Okay, warnings first…this is SLASH! Meaning male/male relationships for the denser people who have no idea. So, if you are against it, scram! Go off…shoo! By the way, it's a Severus/Harry pairing. I know lots of people against this…my friends for example…so if you can't take it, I suggest you take your leave. Oh…and there are some abuse and rape scenes, though not in here, and a lot of angst, mainly because I'm a major sadist…so…if you don't like this…hey, the 'back' button is just up there!
Oh, and those people complaining about the cliffhanger on chapter 3 L…I'm sorry…I wasn't planning it as one, well, not a normal cliffy anyway…coz I'm only going to continue from that point after I've finished Harry's POV on the whole abuse thingy, and I believe it would take up at least five chapters…so…patience is a virtue…sorry again ^.^'''
'thoughts/echoes'…"speech"
Also, I would like to thank all my lovely reviewers!!! ^.^ 49 in total!!! Wow! I love you people…(P.S. I suppose you won't appreciate me clogging up the whole page with names…so I won't type them all out J)
All right then…on with the show…
A Fallen Angel
By chibi-tenshi
DreamIt was cold………dark... Tendrils of mist reached out for him, tenderly caressing his face. A gentle breeze blew by him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He shivered. This place was positively radiating evil.
"Did anyone tell you that the Cup was a Portkey?" He jumped at the voice as it pierced through the silence. As the mist cleared a little, he could make out a tombstone in front of him. It was a graveyard. He turned, full of trepidation, and laid his eyes on the figure beside him, more specifically, the figure of one Cedric Diggory.
He widened his eyes in alarm, or at least tried to, since his body wasn't listening to him at this moment. His fear deepened when he heard himself reply…
'No! This isn't happening! Not again!' He attempted to close his eyes but failed miserably. He heard himself answering, "Nope. Is this supposed to be part of the task?"
"I dunno," said Cedric. He sounded slightly nervous. "Wands out, d'you reckon?" "Yeah," came his reply.
Squinting tensely through the eerie darkness, he could see a figure steadily drawing nearer…a figure wearing a hooded cloak pulled up over its head to obscure its face…a figure holding a small bundle of something…
He felt his stomach clench, his insides twisting in a nauseating manner as what was happening finally dawned upon him.
He was forced to watch the third task replay in front of him. He saw Peter Pettigrew approach them, cradling Voldemort in his arms. "Kill the spare!" Voldemort's high-pitched voice resounded through the graveyard. 'the spare………the spare………kill the spare………'
'No-no-no! Please stop it! Please!' Harry screamed out in his mind, wanting to move, to jump in front of Cedric, to save him from what he knew was coming next.
"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort's cackle filled the air, mingling with Peter's trembling voice, leaving a bitter aftertaste.
Cedric's lifeless body slumped down onto the ground, his unmoving eyes staring straight up at Harry. 'No! Cedric! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!' Harry, finding that he could move, collapsed onto the ground and buried his face in his hands, repeating his mantra. 'I'm sorry! I didn't mean to let you die! I'm so sorry!'
As he was choking on his tears, the scene changed. "It's all your fault! You killed me!" Harry lifted up his head, only to be met with Cedric's dull, dead eyes. "You killed me Harry………you brought me to You-Know-Who! You murderer!" "I'm sorry Cedric! I didn't mean to!" "You think apologizing could salvage this situation? You killed me Harry! You destroyed my entire life and it's All. Your. Fault!" "It's all my fault! I killed you. It's all my fault………" His entire body was shaking now, wrecked with uncontrollable sobs.
More shapeless figures started to materialize around them, eventually taking the form of people Harry knew: Cho, Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, the Diggorys, the Dursleys, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sirius, Lupin, his parents………, each with a deadened look on its face, chanting the same phrase over and over again in perfect unison. "It's ALL your fault!"
"No-no! It's all my fault-all my fault!"
End of dreamHis eyes opened as he awoke with a jerk, his t-shirt drenched in cold sweat. He was panting, near hyperventilating, his heartbeat abnormally high as he rolled his body into a ball, clutching his legs as he began to weep violently, albeit softly, not wanting to alert Pomfrey about his current state of distress.
It was at times like this when he was thankful that he had coached himself not to scream from nightmares since young, after an especially painful beating for disturbing the Dursleys' peaceful slumber.
When his sobbing finally subsided, he sat up reaching for his glasses and wand from the bedside table. He charmed the bed sheets dry before retreating into the bathroom to make himself more presentable.
He was moving back into the Gryffindor Tower this evening. He was not particularly looking forward to it. In fact, he was dreading being bombarded with questioning gazes and queries about his recent misfortune. Still, it was better than being cooped up in the Hospital Wing all day long, with nothing better to do, nothing better to distract him from the vivid flashbacks of the graveyard happenings.
It was still early. The full moon giving off an eerie luminance, making the shadows more pronounced as they dwelled about the dark recesses of the room. He laid back on the bed, staring at a small crack in the otherwise perfect ceiling, and soon got lost in his thoughts.
He could still remember the meeting with the Diggorys yesterday. It was…painful, for the lack of a better word. They were distraught about the death of the sole son, their pride and joy, Cedric Diggory. It hurt to witness their grief, their anguish… , to know that he brought about this, that he was the reason why Cedric died. It hurt to know that it was all his fault, and that there was nothing he could do to remedy it.
The memory of the dream…no, nightmare… was still deeply imprinted in his mind. He had never dreamed about the Third Task before today, preferring to mull over it in the morning. Of course, it may also be due to the fact that he had just been taken off his daily (nightly?) Dreamless Sleep Potion prescription the day before. Still, it had managed to further confirm his theory that it was entirely his fault, that everything bad that had happened so far occurred because he survived all of it again and again. It was Fate's way of taunting him, to tell him not to get too conceited, to make sure he knew that he never had any say in his life and probably never will.
How often had he wished that he were killed along with his parents at the fateful Halloween night, that he had never been born, that the Great Harry Potter, the legendary Boy-Who-Lived never existed? He imagined that the world would have been a better place, whereby people would not need to look out for him, to die because of him. Sometimes…sometimes, he just wished that he could end it all…all this pain, this torturous existence…
But he knew he deserved this…he deserved to suffer for all that he had done, to right all the wrong he brought about, to atone for all the deaths he caused…
It was all his fault………and he knew it…
***
TBC
All right…I know this is sucky…I'm sorry…I think my writing skills are deteriorating so fast that it is near impaired now. *sighz* This is far by the most horrible chapter I've written yet, and I really hope that there will be no repeat performance. Oh well…what do you think? Review please! I need lots of them to boost my confidence, considering that I'm expecting to fail like half of my final papers…*haiz*
