Thirteen Hallways.

Hello! I am a new author here at Fanfiction.net but a long-time reader!! Well I thought the time had come to join and attempt a fan fiction of my own. In fact the film Thir13en Ghosts inspired me also. So please R+R! Thank you very much. OOP! Disclaimer, I forgot :-P

I DO NOT OWN A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. That is anything to do with Thirteen ghosts.I mean I do own stuff.just not any thing like that.I mean I DO own the DVD but not the rights.aww hell you know what I mean, just don't sue me!! :-P

Basically what this is gonna be like is just different parodies and stuff with each chapter. The first chapter is like the script except.well read it and you'll see what I mean! ( Oh and go and read Nataku's fanfic: Insanity is your friend! Really! Because if you don't then I will be very angry.and you don't want that do you?

Chapter one.the madness starts.

*A hell of a lot of trucks and stuff drive into a big junkyardy thing*

*An old man with a big stick looks MENACING and we are AFRAID*

Cyrus: Dennis!! Where is he?

Dennis: Hey you didn't let me say my line: It is my professional opinion that we should get out of here now!

Cyrus: Noted. Now where is he?

*Dennis kneels down and touches the ground. SCARY things flash before our eyes*

Dennis: That scoundrel! He said that he only killed nine people!!

*Distant voice: Did not!!*

Dennis: *blinks* Anyway, there are forty victims here!!

Cyrus: *Getting frustrated* WHERE IS HE!?!?

Dennis: *points* Try there.

Cyrus: *laughs manically* Get the BATE!!

Dennis: Bate?

Random guy #1: Bate?

Cyrus: You know, the big truck-o-blood?

*All the guys look at their feet and cough nervously*

Cyrus: You didn't bring it??

Random guy #2: No sir, we couldn't fill it. The blood donors preferred that their blood be given to the hospitals and stuff.

Cyrus: *Screams with frustration*

Juggernaut: *Walks toward them looking MEAN and we are VERY AFRAID*

Dennis: *@!%!

Cyrus: !@*%!

Random guy #3: Oh hell.

Juggernaut: *In a very camp voice* I heard someone screaming, I hope you're okay? What are you doing here anyway, kids, it's dangerous!?

Dennis: *blink blink*

Cyrus: *manic laughter* We have come to trap you in this big cube!!

Juggernaut: *hangs his head* Oh dear. *Grabs Random guy #4 and snaps him in half*

Random guy #4: Ow *dies*

Juggernaut: Oh my god!! What have I done?? *Cries uncontrollably and throws a fit, killing everyone and through some sort of miracle ending up trapped in the cube*

Dennis: Yay! Cyrus we got him!! Cyrus? Cyrus?!

Cyrus: *Is dead*

Dennis: Oh hell.

Scene TWO.

*We see a HAPPY family whilst we hear a FIRE going on and KILLING the mother.*

*Moves to Present day.*

Bobby: Lots of people died, blah blah blah..

Kathy: Like, oh my god, you HAVE to get, like, a healthier, like, hobby..like.

Bobby: Dad tell her that keeping a count of deaths is healthy.

Arthur: No.

Bobby: She's being a real-oh.

Arthur: Oh crap I tripped on the scooter and now I have coffee all down my shirt.it's actually burning my flesh now.ow.help.please.!

*There is a KNOCK on the door*

Arthur: *Opens it*

Ben: Hello I am Ben Moss and unfortunately your uncle Cyrus just died so you get all of his cra- I mean stuff.

Arthur: Hurrah!

Ben: *Pushes his way past and puts his Laptop on the kitchen table. A picture of Cyrus comes up on the screen*

Cyrus: Hello, I'm dead now so you get this house. The End.

*Ben closes the laptop whilst Kathy flirts outrageously with him*

Maggie: Let's go.

Ben: Yeah, follow me.

*They drive to the house. Ben looks EVIL*

Dennis: Hello I am the power guy and I need to get into your house.

Arthur: Sure, come on in.

Kathy: *Flirts with Ben*

*They enter the house and Ben takes Arthur to sign some papers*

Dennis: *Goes to the basement*

*Kathy, Maggie and Bobby explore*

Dennis: *Sees something* Oh crap! What the hell was that??

Torn Prince: ARGH!! *Hits the glass with his Baseball bat* Who the hell are you!?

Dennis: Power guy.

Torn Prince: Oh sorry.

Dennis: S'ok.

*Various ghosts look at Dennis and we are FRIGHTENED*

Ben: You will never have to worry about financial stuff cause you will be worrying more about the gho- um never mind.

Arthur: Hurrah!

*Dennis runs in looking FRANTIC*

Dennis: AAAGH!! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN THE BASEMENT!!

Arthur: Goats?

Dennis: AAAGH!! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN THE BASEMENT!!

Ben: Oh that's not really the power guy that's Dennis Rafkin. He claims Cyrus owed him money.

Dennis: AAAGH!! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN THE BASEMENT!! *Faints*

Arthur: Oh hell. We had better find Kathy and Bobby and Maggie.Mr.Moss???

*Maggie is running from Bobby who is on his scooter and TAUNTING him*

Bobby: Die *!@%!!

Maggie: *Grabs glasses* Cool.

*Ben walks down the stairs wearing the magic glasses. He taunts several ghosts then goes into the room with the big thing that goes round and picks up his M-O-N-E-Y. Bad idea. The Big Thing That Goes Round starts going.round.and the Angry princess's cube OPENS!! She walks toward Ben looking very MEAN.*

Ben: Oh dear, I'm screwed!!

*Two panels of glass shut between Ben and he is chopped in half*

Angry Princess: Damn, I wanted to kill him.

*Kathy finds a room and jumps onto the bed.*

Kathy: This place is awesome; I cannot breath from how awesome this house is! *HACK CHOKE*

*She gets up and walks into the bathroom. She looks into the mirror and plays with her hair*

Angry Princess: *Steps into the bath*

Kathy: *Opens the shower curtain*

Angry Princess: AAARGH!! DO YOU MIND!?! *Frantically covers herself with her hands and scowls.

Kathy: *Smiles in a bimbo kind of way as she splashes water from the faucet onto her face (Why didn't she just use the faucet in the sink??)*

*Suddenly Arthur runs in*

Arthur: What are you doing here? I told you to stay downstairs!!

Kathy: No you didn't.

Arthur: Damn, I forgot. Anyway, where's Bobby??

Kathy: He's with Maggie.

*Suddenly Maggie appears out of Nowhere*

Maggie: Uh.WAS with Maggie.

Arthur: DAMNIT you're fired!!

Maggie: fine, if you can handle two kids on your own I'll just leave.

Arthur: .grr.

*Bobby is on his scooter. We begin to suspect that he is GLUED TO IT.*

Voice: Bobby...!

Bobby: Maggie?

Voice: No.I'm not Maggie.

Bobby: ..Maggie?

Voice: No no no!! My name is SUSAN!!

Bobby: Stop messing around Maggie.

Voice: *sigh* Just come down here, Bobby.

Bobby: Oh okay.

Voice #2: No don't do it!!

Bobby: .Maggie??

Voice #2: Ah screw you.

Bobby: *blink*

*Bobby SCOOTS down the stairs and he sees.*

Bound Woman: Hey Bobby, could you untie me please?

Bobby: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!! *Runs*

Bound Woman: *sigh* (

Meanwhile..

Arthur: I'll find Bobby you two get out of the house!!

Kathy: Why?

Arthur: For once, don't argue.

Kathy: Why?

Arthur: *Notices the door is sealed shut* Son of a female dog!!

Kathy: Why?

*Arthur grabs a chair and hits the door with it, but it doesn't smash.*

Dennis: Too bad the whole house is sealed, huh?

Kathy: why?

Arthur: What?

Dennis: It's sealed. We can't get out.

Kathy: Why?

Arthur: Oh, let's go downstairs and find Bobby.

Kathy: Why?

Dennis: There are ghosts downstairs.

Kathy: Why?

*Arthur shoots Kathy*

Kathy: Owies.

((Okay I need some assistance with this scene. When Bobby hears his Mother telling him to put on the glasses another voice says : "Leave me alone!" On the subtitles it merely say's Third Ghost, but to me it sounds like the Jackal, so if anybody could confirm this information please do! Thank you!))

Jean: Bobby...BOBBY!

Bobby: AGH! What?

Jean: Put on the glasses Bobby.

Bobby: Nuh uh, no way lady, last time I did that I saw a whole bunch of crazy things!!

Jean: *slightly annoyed* Just put the damn glasses on!

Bobby: Oh okay *Puts the glasses on* Now what?

Jean: Uh.I'm not sure.just get out of the basement please.

Bobby: Okay.

*Bobby turns only to see...*

Cyrus: Roar.

Bobby: *faints*

Jean: Oh hell.

*Dennis, Arthur, Maggie and Kathy are walking around the basement trying to find Bobby*

Arthur: We should split up.

Dennis: No.

Arthur: Yes.

Dennis: Okay, Maggie, come with me.

Maggie: -_-()

*Maggie and Dennis are walking through the Basement*

Maggie: You mean there are GHOSTS down here?

Dennis: Yes. Here, put these on and look over there.

Maggie: *Does so*

Hammer: Hello! *Smiles*

Maggie: Why hello there! *Smiles*

Dennis: *Blink* What the hell?

Maggie: these ghosts aren't scary, Dennis.

Dennis: Oh crap. The doors are open. The Ghosts are OUT.

Maggie: Okay then, let's go.

*Arthur picks up a tape recorder and presses play. Bobby's screams are heard. He stops it and looks SAD*

Kathy: He'll be okay.who am I kidding, he's screwed.

*Dennis and Maggie find an open door*

Dennis: !*@%!!

Maggie: What?

Dennis: That's the symbol of..THE JACKAL!!

Maggie: ...what's the Jackal?

Dennis: He's a ghost.duh.

Maggie: Oh.what's so bad about him?

Dennis: Nothing really.His name sounds cool so I just thought I'd make a big deal of it.BEWARE THE JACKAL!! MUAHAHA!!

Maggie: ...

Kathy: What if there really are ghosts here?

Arthur: There is no such thing as ghosts.

Kathy: Okay, whenever people say that in films they suddenly get attacked by a ghost or several ghosts.*Puts on Glasses*

Jackal: *Smiles* Hello!

Kathy: *Blink* Um.hi.how are you?

Jackal: Great!! You?

Kathy: *Nods*

Arthur: What the.?

Kathy: You have a cage on your head.

Jackal: Oh that yeah heheheheHAHA MAUAHAHAHA!!!

Kathy: .

Jackal: Sorry, got carried away.

Kathy: .aren't you supposed to attack me?

Jackal: *Pauses* OH YEAH!!

*Jackal attacks Kathy*

Kathy: AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!

Jackal: Muahahaha! *Slash, cut, scratch*

Kalina: *Appears out of nowhere, just in the nick of time and throws a flare at the Jackal. It bounces off of his cage.*

Jackal: Owies (

Kalina: Arthur, grab Kathy!

*Kalina and Arthur grab Kathy and pull her down the hallways*

Jackal: Hey! Come back here! *Gives chase*

*As Jackal chases Kathy we are SCARED*

Dennis: Hey look there's that little kid with the arrow through his head.

First Born Son: *Looks creepy*

Maggie: Huh?

*Kalina and Arthur drag Kathy and a door shuts behind them. Jackal smashes into it*

Jackal: *Sulks* No fair!!

Arthur: Yo, who are you?

Kalina: I'm Kalina. Kathy, give him your glasses.

Kathy: *Does so*

Arthur: ??

Kalina: Put them on.

Arthur: OH! *Does so*

Jackal: *Smiles and waves*

Arthur: .he has a cage on his head.

Jackal: *Starts to cry and runs away*

All: *Blink*

Kalina: Anyway, check out this cool book!

Arthur: Cool!

Kalina: You better believe it!

*The Doors shut Dennis into a room with The Torn Prince*

Torn Prince: Yo, how ya doin'?

Dennis: I'm cool.

Torn Prince: Cool.

Maggie: .

*The door opens*

Dennis: Well, bye!

Torn Prince: Have a cool day!

Kalina: Hey, let's go to the library!

Arthur: Yay!

Kalina: Okay climb up this rope!

*They both do*

Dennis: Hey look! There's the Great Child and the Dire Mother!

GC+DM: *Smile and wave*

Dennis: *Does the same*

Kalina + Arthur: *Climb up* Hey!

Dennis: Hey!

Kalina: We're goin' to the Library!! Wanna come?

Dennis: Sure thing!!

Jackal: Me too!

All: *Blink*

Jackal: *frowns*

Kalina: Awww ickle Jackie-ums.are you sad?

Jackal: *Nods, sadly*

Kalina: Come on, tell Aunty Kalina all about it.

Jackal: *Sniffs* Everyone makes fun of me.

Kalina: Awww.

Dennis, Maggie and Arthur: *Back away when they see the signal from Kalina and run to the library.*

*Kalina runs too*

Jackal: (

Pilgrimess: *From nowhere* Kiiiiill theeeeem...

Jackal: ?

*In the library*

Kalina: Look at these cool drawings of all the ghosts!!

All: OOOOH! Pretty!

Kalina: Anyway, Arthur you gotta kill yourself to save your kids.

Arthur: Oh hell.Dennis come with me.

Dennis: Oh hell.

Dennis: I hope I don't bleed to death.

Arthur: Sure, just carry the glass will you?

Dennis: (

Kalina: Cool, we're at The Big Thing That Goes Round.

Maggie: Oh my god it's Cyrus!!

Kalina: Damn *Hits Maggie with the book*

Cyrus: Hello! *Steals the book* Muahaha!

Kalina: Hey!

Dennis: DAMN!! IT'S THE HAMMER! Quick let me behind the glass!

Arthur: Oh no you don't! I'M going behind the glass! Muaha!

Dennis: Oh crap!! It's the Juggernaut!!

Juggernaut: Hello again Dennis, long time no see, what have you been doing with yourself? I'm sorry but all of the other ghosts think I should kill you and I don't wanna look stupid. *Grabs Dennis and throws him around*

Dennis: *Is dead*

Arthur: Oh well. *Moves on*

Cyrus: Put the kids in danger.

Kalina: what!?

Cyrus: DO IT!!

Kalina: Oh okay.

*Cyrus presses a button and a chant in Latin starts*

Hammer: ?

Juggernaut: ?

Angry Princess: ?

Jackal: ?

Cyrus: Kalina? Step into this space here please.

Kalina: Oh okay.

Cyrus: *Pulls a lever and a glass panel squishes Kalina*

Kalina: Damnit.

Jean: *Appears* Arthur..

Arthur: Jean?! I miss you, I'm nothing without you!! *Sobs loudly*

Jean: Oh for crying out loud!

*Chanting comes and Jean disappears*

*Arthur runs to the room of The Big Thing That Goes Round.*

*A platform rises and sitting there is...KATHY AND BOBBY!!*

Both: Yo, dad help us out here.

*Arthur puts on his Magical glasses and sees all the twelve ghosts standing in a circle.*

Cyrus: Hello,

Arthur: Argh!! Wow hello!

Cyrus: Muahaha.

Arthur: *Charges at Cyrus and punches him*

Cyrus: *Hits Arthur with his stick*

Maggie: *Pulls some random levers and the chanting stops*

Ghosts: Wow, we're free! GET HIM!!

*All of the ghosts pick up Cyrus and throw him into The Big Spinning Saw Things. He is ripped to parts and dies instantly*

Cyrus: Oh hell.

Dennis: *Appears* Go and save you kids, for crying out loud, Arthur!!

Arthur: Oh yeah! *Jumps over the Slicing Things without a single problem*

*The house suddenly explodes and all the ghosts walk out and disappear.except the Jackal. A girl runs up to him and smiles*

Midnight: Ooooh no! You're coming home with me! ^-^

Jackal: Yay!! *Feels special*

Midnight: *Hugs Jackal and they skip away happily*

*Meanwhile, back inside the house..*

Jean: I love you guys!!

All: We love you to!!

Maggie: I quit.

The End of chapter one!! Chapter two will be another parody thing, I'm not sure what I'll do yet, but if you have any suggestions don't hesitate to ask!! Please Review!

Love ~Midnight.