Please read author's note at beginning of story

Partial Truths-Chapter Three

Neha swallowed hard. "She's not my mother," she whispered and Kathryn could here the agony those words produce for her.

Kathryn gave her a puzzled look. "I'm sorry?"

Neha turned their hands so that she was now holding onto Kathryn's. She turned her tear-streaked face toward Kathryn and stared, her eyes boring into Kathryn's. "She's not my mother," she stated, emphasizing each word. She looked intently at Kathryn, willing her to understand the words she was trying to say without saying them. Kathryn didn't understand and the confusion showed on her face. Neha sighed.

"She's not my mother," she repeated. "You are."

Kathryn heard the whispered words leave Neha's mouth. She knew what they meant; yet they made no sense to her. Yanking her hand hard she pulled away from Neha. "What are you talking about? What kind of sick game are you playing?" she asked, her voice hard and cold from uncontrolled fury, the emotion radiating from every part of her body.

Neha's eyes widened. "I'm not playing any games."

Kathryn stood jerkily. "Then why would you say such a thing?"

"Because it's the truth. The woman, who I called my mother for my entire life, wasn't my mother. The woman who raised me, who fed me, who clothed me, and sheltered me from the world, was not the woman I thought she was."

"That doesn't make...me your...your mother. That's preposterous!"

"Admiral, please calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down. I want to know who's putting you up to this? Who's making you do this? What do they want from me?" she cried.

Neha stood, nervously looking around. The Admiral's voice had risen and the last thing she wanted was security to come take her away before she had a chance to explain. It hurt to know that her real mother denied her so effortlessly but she quickly pushed that emotion aside. She knew that if she didn't get to finish this tonight she never would be allowed to get close to the Admiral again. Drying her tears she stepped closer to Kathryn, her voice tight.

"No one is putting me up to anything. Everything I have said to you has been the truth. You are my biological mother whether you want to acknowledge it or not. My mother kept a journal of everything and left it to me when she died. Angela and Wayne Paskelt adopted me over 25 years ago. When I was old enough, they arranged for me to have corrective and cosmetic surgery to get rid of any trace of alien features." She raised her hair off her forehead. "I was always told that this scar and others like it on my body were the result of surgery needed because of some kind of freak accident." She removed her hand and began to pace; knowing that she had the Admirals full attention.

"It was only after my mother...Angela, died that I discovered the truth. It seemed that this was one secret she didn't want to take to her grave. Wayne hadn't wanted to tell me. He died when I was just 11 and after that Angela saw no reason to go against my father's wishes. He didn't want me to know that I share the blood of a Cardassian."

A tortured sob behind her made her stop. She faced Kathryn. Her hand covered her mouth and her eyes were wide and haunted. Even in the reduce lighting Neha could tell that she had grown ghostly pale. She moved her head from side to side, mumbling incomprehensible words under her hand. Gripping her stomach she turned and headed blindly for the doors leading back into the party.

Neha rushed forward. "Admiral. Kathryn, wait. You can't go in there like this. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Kathryn shook her head. "No, no...please. I can't...I didn't want...Please, no. Please...Ch...tay."

Neha didn't know what to do with the almost hysterical woman. "Chakotay? You want me to get your husband?"

Panic flashed in her eyes. Shaking her head she pleaded. "I can't...no. Please.

Suddenly it dawned on Neha. "Admiral, please calm down. He doesn't know, does he?"

Kathryn sniffed and tried to control the raging sobs that wanted to tear through her. Haunted eyes raised up to Neha's. She shook her head and her eyes closed, causing more tears to slide silently down her cheeks. Neha pushed her own heartache away and focused on the woman before her. Slowly she put her arm around Kathryn's shoulder and led her back to the bench. Kathryn trembled. How ironic, she thought, only moments ago it was she who was offering comfort. Burying her head in her hands, she tried to get a grip on her emotions. Vaguely she could feel the soft pressure of Neha's hand on her back. After a moment, she lifted herself up and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Shame washed over her and Kathryn couldn't bring herself to look at Neha.

"How much to do you know?" she asked her voice strained.

Neha shrugged. "Angela left out most of the details, but I'm a smart girl. I can put two and two together." She paused. "Based on the fact that mating between Humans and Cardassians rarely happen, especially back then, I assumed that it wasn't a...mutual union," said Neha, trying to be as tactful as possible.

Kathryn shivered again. "No, no it wasn't." Her voice sounded lifeless. Memories slammed into her and she closed her eyes, trying to block it all out.

"Kathryn, I...I'm sorry. I wanted to meet you, get to know you. I didn't want to cause you pain. I'm so sorry to be stirring up these memories for you. I...I'm really not that bad of a person, despite my creation."

Kathryn jerked as if slapped. Snapping out of her misery she looked at the young woman, who until a couple of months ago had lived a perfectly happy life believing she was completely human. How awful to have your entire world turned upside down and to learn that you're real parentage was a bit more complicated than you ever thought it could be.

"Don't.

Neha frowned. "Don't what?"

"Don't do that, put yourself down because you know the truth. How you were created has nothing to do with you as a person. I don't know you, nor do I know your parents, but the fact that you made it into this party without being without being caught, lets me know that you are a bright, and determined young lady."

Neha fidgeted nervously. "Figured that out, did you?"

Kathryn laughed humorlessly and wiped the remains of tears from her face. "I don't know how you did it, and I don't want to know right now. But I know that you aren't on the approved list of people and you aren't with any of the crew. I approved the press list so you're not apart of that grouping either."

"No, I'm not."

They were silent for a moment. Kathryn rose and kept her back toward Neha. "Do you hate me?"

"No. I understand why you didn't want me. I'm surprise that you choose adoption though. I can't help wondering why you just didn't terminate. Under the circumstances, no one could have blamed you."

Kathryn shuddered. "Neha, it wasn't that I didn't want you. I was young and very traumatized. It took me a long time to come to terms with what happened. But no matter what I couldn't have...terminated you. It's wasn't even a consideration. You were a baby who had nothing whatsoever to do with ...that. You were innocent. I just couldn't keep you. I-I hope you can understand that. But I wanted to at least give you a chance with people who could love you and protect you." She turned to Neha. "It sounds like that's what they did."

"Angela and Wayne were good parents. Like I said I could have gone forever not knowing the truth."

Kathryn nodded.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Kathryn wrapped her arms around herself. Neha didn't have to say whom she was talking about. Would she tell him, could she? "I don't know. Probably. I think when he sees me he'll know something's wrong anyway."

It was Neha's turn to nod. "Will he understand?"

Kathryn sighed. "That's a good question. Oh, I think he'll understand about what happened. He knows some of it. I'm not quite sure if he'll understand why I didn't tell him all this sooner."

"It can't be something you want to think about or talk about every time someone new enters your life."

"No. But Chakotay's not just anybody. As corny as it sounds he's my soul mate. We swore we wouldn't keep secrets from each other. It only hurts us in the end."

Neha acknowledge that with a slight tug of the lips. "I've watched you and he together and believe me it doesn't sound corny at all. You love each other very much, that is obvious."

Kathryn blushed at the compliment.

"Well, Admiral, I think you should know your soul mate is heading this way. We have been out here for a while." Neha paused, not sure how to continue. Sighing she said, "We have a lot to discuss Admiral, but I will understand if you never want to see me again."

Kathryn's eyebrow arched. After everything Neha went through to reach her she had a little difficulty believing that.

Neha shrugged and chuckled quietly. "I said I would understand, I didn't say I wouldn't be disappointed." Her expression solemn, she continued. "I won't try to contact you at your office again, or corner you in any more social functions. The next move is yours. If you want to see me again, maybe get to know me a little, I'm willing, if not..." she shrugged and smiled, "then it's your lost."

"I understand," Kathryn said a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips. The doors opened and the bright light spilled onto the patio. Kathryn turned to see Chakotay, the light casting his shadow over the garden.

"Kathryn? Are you still out here?"

Kathryn moved into the light so he could see her. "Yes."

Chakotay stepped out onto the patio. "What on earth are you doing? You've been out here for ages."

Kathryn turned to face Neha. "I was talking to...someone."

Chakotay stepped closer and studied Kathryn. What's going on, Kathryn? Are you hurt?

"No love, I'm not hurt. I'm coming." Kathryn walked toward Chakotay but stopped when she reached him and turned back. "Neha, don't be angry with your parents. They did the best they could. I don't believe that by leaving you that journal your mother intentionally meant to hurt you. They were your parents in every way that counts. Don't let this ruin the memories. Right now they're all you have left." she turned back.

She stepped inside the doors and walked forward, but was stopped as Chakotay grabbed her arm. Looking up at him she saw the alarm in his eyes, and knew she must look a fright.

"Kathryn? What's wrong? What happened out there?"

Kathryn was exhausted. She just wanted to go home and go to sleep. She wanted to escape into oblivion and forget.



"Chakotay, please, can we just go. I...I need to get out of here."

His eyes searched her face. Whatever he saw in her eyes must have convinced him not to push. He nodded deciding not to push and led her to an unoccupied corner near the doors. He made their goodbyes, letting everyone believe it was Kathryn's tiredness for their early escape. Finally he came back to collect her and wrapping her protectively in his arms they headed home.

to be continued...