PART FIVE

The next morning Josh's apartment

Josh woke up screaming, holding his hand on his chest, and looking automatically for blood. The nightmare was such an old acquaintance by now that it only took him a few moments to get settled again.

He was a little more nervous than usual, for Amy wasn't there to help him calm down, but his heart slowed down quickly. And then, he remembered the reason Amy wasn't there in the first place.

She'd driven to the hospital last night, before going back to her place, saying she wouldn't feel comfortable with them.

The hospital.

Sam.

Josh got up and rushed to the living room, checking his answering machine.

No new messages.

Someone would have called him if anything bad had happened, right?

In doubt, he called CJ's office. She was already there, as he expected. She'd had to brief the press after Sam had come out of surgery. Toby had stayed at the hospital. Josh didn't think he had ever looked as old as when he had came back to the waiting room after the nurse had kicked him out of Sam's room.

He had only shrugged in answer to their questions, saying that yes, Sam had woken up, yes, he knew where he was, and he knew everyone was there, and he was going to stay there, he'd work on CJ's statement and fax it over.

While the rest of the gang filed out, Josh heard the President ask Toby for the truth, and Toby answered, "He didn't say much. He said it hurt"

His throat had constricted at that, and he'd accelerated, making it difficult for Donna to follow him.

CJ picked up after four rings. "CJ Cregg."

"Hey, it's Josh."

"You okay?" she asked immediately.

"Yeah, why?"

"You sound weird," she said, before continuing, not leaving him any time to worry. "There's no news. Toby checks in every half hour. Sam's woken up two times, he's more coherent, but he hasn't said anything about what happened."

"Okay. I'll be over in an hour."

"You're going to the hospital first?" she asked, and he wondered about that. Should he go there first?

"Josh?" CJ insisted.

"No, I'll check in first, then go there and send Toby home for a few hours."

"Good," she said. "We called his parents, by the way. They're trying to book a flight, but they don't know when they'll be here." A voice in the background informed him that Carol was saying something to CJ. "Okay, I have to go now. See you," CJ said after two minutes, and she hung up without waiting for an answer.

He hung up, and tried to think. What now?

Shower, yes, that's what he did in the morning. Shower.

* * * * *

He had barely put a foot in the West Wing when Donna caught his arm and ordered "Leo's office. Now."

"Is there - " he began to ask, only to be cut off.

"I don't know, he didn't say anything."

They hurried, and CJ joined them on the way. They were all gathered in Leo's office when the chief of staff came in, looking as if he hadn't had a single minute of sleep in 48 hours - which was probably the case, Josh reflected.

"I've just seen the President," Leo said without preamble. "Toby called. They're running tests right now, but it seems his kidney isn't functioning as well as expected."

They all froze at that, and for a long time, no one spoke. Then Donna said, almost shyly "Can we?"

"I need someone here," Leo said. "The country didn't stop living last night, much as we would all have liked that. CJ can you stay here while Josh goes to the hospital? You'll take turns."

"What about Toby?" Josh asked, and Leo looked at him as if he'd gone insane. "You want to be the one to tell him he has to come to work?" he asked. "Be my guest."

* * * * *

Hospital

The doctor entered the room and Sam briefly considered sitting up a little, but the idea was enough to tire him out and he gave up. It seemed the medical staff had finally run out of ideas of tests, for which he was grateful, but now the anxiety had returned.

The doctor came to a stop next to his bed, and consulted his notes briefly.

"So?" Sam asked, unable to take the waiting one minute longer.

"Your friends are there, do you want them to be present?" the doctor stalled.

Yes, he wanted them to be present. No, he didn't want to wait, not even for the few minutes it would take for them to arrive.

"Tell me now," he said.

"The results are back. Your kidney is malfunctioning. My guess is, it wasn't working right already, but the right kidney could compensate enough for it to be unnoticeable. It's actually not as unusual as most people think to have only one good kidney and not be aware of it."

"Are you telling me that I'm gonna die?" Sam asked, surprised to feel so numb.

"No. Of course not. We're going to begin dialysis as soon as possible. We're also going to put you on a list for a transplant, and check in your family if someone would be compatible."

He nodded, a little stunned by the news - Dialysis? Transplant? - and fighting the feeling that the doctor wasn't telling him everything.

"How long?" he asked.

"Sir?"

"How long can I go on like that?"

"It depends on how your kidney reacts to the dialysis," the doctor began. "If all goes well, months."

"If all doesn't go well?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," the doctor said reassuringly, and Sam's heart sank.

"Your friends are out there. Should I tell them, or do you prefer to - "

"No, go ahead," Sam said quickly. "And . can I see them?"

"Sure, I'll send them."

He offered Sam a reassuring smile, and left.

* * * * *

Toby was pacing the waiting room, the doctor's words echoing into his head.

"There may be a problem."

He was exhausted. One of the nurses had found him asleep on the chair next to Sam's bed, last night, and she'd let him sleep as much as possible, but she'd had to wake him up when they'd noticed a problem, and they'd made him get out so they could run a few tests.

Sam was conscious by then, and he's shot Toby a nervous smile before he went out, and that smile had concurred to strengthen the lump he felt in his stomach.

Sam was scared, and that drove him insane.

He started when Josh and Donna entered the waiting room, Josh clutching Donna's hand as if it was a life boat.

"Nothing yet," he told them right away.

"What do they think - "

"Josh, I honestly have no clue. He said he'd be here as soon as he knew something."

The doctor who had already talked to them last night entered before Josh could answer, and Toby cursed again their ability to wear a mask that prevented him from reading what they really thought on their faces.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, I had to speak with Mr Seaborn first," the doctor said.

"So?" Josh asked.

"His left kidney is showing signs of malfunction," the doctor began.

* * * * *

When Josh and Toby entered the room, Sam was staring at the window.

"Hey buddy," Josh said trying to be cheerful. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," Sam said flatly.

Josh and Toby exchanged a look, and turned back to the young man.

"More specifically?" Toby asked. Sam seemed a lot more lucid than he had last night, which was good, but he also knew that it was a lot to take in at first. He was with him when he'd been told exactly what the wound had done to him, and even if he'd made a good job of keeping his face as neutral as possible, Toby had seen that it had hit him hard.

"Like I'll never be able to even raise my head again without feeling drained. But on the plus side, the stuff they're giving me seems to be working better now, so I'm not complaining," Sam bit back, before beginning to chew on his lip. "Sorry guys," he said.

"That's okay," Josh said, and Toby could see in his face that he was remembering the days following Rosslyn.

Why did it have to be the two youngest ones of the team, he wondered again. In fact, why did it have to be their team over and over again?

An uncomfortable silence fell between the three of them, and Sam finally turned his head to them.

"The doctor told you," he sighed. He looked exhausted, and about ready to cry.

"Yes, he did," Josh said, trying to keep his voice soft, reassuring. "It's gonna be fine, you'll see."

Sam tried to smile, but it didn't come easily. "Yeah, sure," he said. "Right."

"So," Josh said, decided not to insist for now, "Do you want to hear what the others wanted us to tell you?"

Sam seemed to cheer a little at that, and he nodded. "Sure."

Josh and Toby sat down, and tried to keep his mind off the situation.