Nick guided the Tahoe north out of Vegas through Henderson toward Lake
Mead. He and Sara made small talk on the way. He told her about the case
he and Warrick worked on the night before and she made comments about the
country music coming through the speakers. "You can take the boy out of
Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the boy." Nick grinned in response.
Sara just rolled her eyes.
As they pulled into the Lake Mead Recreation Area parking lot, Sara turned toward Nick and commented, "Wow, this is really beautiful. I don't think I've ever been out here without being on a case."
With that Nick gave her a lopsided grin and a raised eyebrow, "You know, Sara, you really need to get out more often."
She chuckled, "Yeah."
They got out of the Tahoe and claimed a spot near the shoreline. The place was fairly deserted at this hour. As they sat on the ground, Nick turned to Sara pulling his sunglasses down, "So, Sara, you wanna tell me what's up?"
Sara took a deep breath, "It's complicated, Nick." She stared straight ahead at the lake through her sunglasses.
He smiled, "Life tends to be that way. Like I said before, I'm a good listener. Why don't you give me a try." He sat there, his arms encircling his knees, ankles crossed, his sunglasses twirling in one hand as he looked over at Sara and waited.
Sara let out a long breath, pushed her sunglasses on top of her head, and turned to look at Nick with a serious look on her face, "It's just, I've made some really stupid decisions lately, and I sort of feel like I'm spinning out of control. And you know, I really like being in control. You know me, Sara Sidle, lives for the lab, has no life. And this week, I mean, the explosion, and then I pulled a gun on a suspect. If Brass wasn't' there."
Nick interjected, "But, Sara, Brass was there. You're ok."
Tears began streaming down Sara's face, "Then why don't I feel ok, Nick?"
Nick scooted over close to Sara and pulled her into his arms and let her rest against his side as she cried. "Sara, that's normal. You've been through hell this week and you expect to feel as if nothing happened. Even you, Sara Sidle are not invincible." Nick smiled as he rubbed Sara's arm.
She looked up at him through her tears and tried to smile.
Nick continued, "You remember when I asked you if you had even had a gun pulled on you?"
Sara nodded sniffling and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Both times, it scared the hell out of me. I cried like a baby the first time. Right there with the gun pointed at my face. I thought I was going to die. If it wasn't for Grissom, I would have. And when Nigel Crane threatened to shoot me and then turned the gun on himself, Sara, I thought he was going to kill me, and then I didn't want him to kill himself, it scared the hell out of me. After Brass got the gun away from him, I cried like a baby. Do you think I felt very in control? Hell no. We work as a team. You can't make it as a Lone Ranger. I know what you mean about wanting to be in control, but don't you know that it's just an illusion? No one is truly in control of their lives. We can't control the circumstances. Life hurts. You need to make friends with that or you're not going to make it. Sara, you need to let yourself need people." Nick hugged her close, he could hear her sobbing now. He just stroked her hair and held her as she cried.
Her sobs tapered off to sniffles, "Nick?"
"Yeah, Sara?" Nick replied looking down at her with concern.
"I don't deserve how nice you've been to me." She said sniffling.
A flash of anger and sadness went through Nick, "Sara, look at me."
She looked up at him registering the serious look on his face.
"Sara, that's just it. You do deserve to be treated like this. You need to be treated like this." Nick's gaze was intense, but he wanted her to see that he meant what he said.
Sara pulled herself away from Nick, wiping her tears from her face, "You'd think I could remember a Kleenex or something, your poor shirt." She stared out at the lake for a few minutes. Nick remained silent. She turned again and looked at Nick, he was just waiting, giving her time to say what she needed to say. "Nick, can I tell you something?"
Nick just smiled, "Sara, I told you, I'm a good listener. Fire away."
She took a deep breath and plunged right in, "I made a fool out of myself with Grissom. Right before you found me in the parking lot, I asked him to have dinner with me. He totally blew me off. I've been walking around star struck for three years, thinking that I'm something special. I've been so wrong. He doesn't see me that way. I think I always knew that, but it was easier to pine away for him than to allow myself to develop something real with someone. I mean I dated Hank, but I think we know what a louse he turned out to be."
"Yeah, you can't be too sure about guys you pick up over a decomp." Nick chuckled.
Sara laughed.
Nick's expression became serious, "Sara, what you said about not being special, you're wrong. You are special. You are a brilliant CSI. You might throw yourself a little too much into your work at times, but you are very good at your job. As for Grissom, Sara, he cares about you, in a fatherly sort of way, but he does care about you. He is pretty clueless about showing that to people, but he does care. Don't sell yourself short. Just because Grissom isn't in love with you doesn't mean that you're not special. You're a smart, beautiful woman. Man, that intimidates guys."
Sara averted her eyes from Nick, "You think I'm beautiful, Nick?"
Nick laughed. Sara looked back at him and saw a wide smile on his face as he responded to her question. "Sara, I'd have to blind not to notice that you're beautiful."
Sara blushed, "Thanks, Nick."
"Hey, Sara?" Nick queried.
"Yeah, Nick?" She responded.
"Do you want to go for a walk? I'm gonna fall asleep if I sit here much longer." He smiled trying to stifle a yawn.
"Sure." Sara answered with a smile. She got up off the ground where she had been sitting and offered Nick a hand to help him up. Without releasing their hands, Nick and Sara walked along the shoreline of Lake Mead lost in their own thoughts.
Sara couldn't remember feeling this peaceful in a long time. What was it about Nick Stokes that brought this out in her? She wasn't sure she understood. She'd worked with him for three years and had gotten to know him. Sure he was attractive and had a reputation as a ladies man, which she wasn't sure was completely true, but he had shown her a part of himself that she found infinitely more attractive than his outer looks. He had accepted her in her fallen apart state and didn't judge her. He knew what she needed when she didn't. Not that he was perfect, he was just real with her, and it was that quality she found amazing.
Nick didn't know why, but he felt very protective of Sara. Sure they'd worked together for three years and he'd been very competitive with her. They teased each other the way a brother and sister would. They also flirted with each other. She could hold her own with the best of them. But seeing her crying in the parking lot, all he wanted to do was protect her from whatever was hurting her. He knew he couldn't really. She'd have to deal with her own demons and come to terms with the things that had happened that week. But he knew without a doubt that he'd be her biggest supporter. He was beginning to see Sara in a new light and he wasn't sure he was completely comfortable with it. Feelings had begun to surface in him, but he didn't want to push. She'd been through hell this week and he didn't want to take advantage of it. She needed a friend, and for the time being, that is what he would give her. Maybe later he'd explore what he was beginning to feel.
They had walked quite a ways down the shoreline. Sara stopped and turned toward Nick. "Nick, we should head back. You need to get some sleep before shift tonight."
He looked at her and smiled, "Yeah, you're right." He squeezed her hand and they began to walk back toward the Tahoe.
When they neared the SUV, Sara said authoritatively, "Nick, I'm driving."
He didn't protest, he was dead tired. "Ok."
They got in the vehicle and Sara drove back toward Vegas. As they neared the city limits, she looked over and noticed that Nick was sound asleep. Since her Tahoe was still back at CSI, and they both had to work in a few hours, she decided to just head back to her apartment and let him sleep there. She pulled into her lot and turned off the engine. Nick was still asleep. "Nick. Nick. Nick, wake up."
Nick's eyes fluttered open, "Huh, where are we, Sara?" He sat up in the seat and wiped the sleep out of his eyes.
"Well, since my Tahoe is still at CSI and I'm going to need a ride, I brought you back to my apartment. You can crash for a couple of hours before shift." She replied.
"Ok. Oh, I should grab my duffel bag out of the backseat so I can change my clothes, I've been wearing these a little too long." Nick said with a tired smile, reaching in the backseat for the bag.
Nick deposited his duffel bag by the door as they entered Sara's apartment. He headed for the couch and sat down looking exhausted. He looked at Sara and asked, "Are you doing better, Sar?"
"Yeah, thanks." Sara sat on the couch beside him putting her hand on his arm. "Nick, you need to get some sleep. Go crash in my room and I'll wake you up before shift." She grabbed Nick's hand so he couldn't argue and pulled him down the hall toward her room. At the doorway, Sara stopped and crossed her arms in front of her with a smile on her face, "Now sleep."
Nick smiled back and pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, "Thanks, Sara."
With her hands against his chest, she looked up at him, smiled, and kissed him on the cheek, "Sleep." With that she stepped out of the embrace. He stepped into the room and crawled onto the bed. He was asleep almost immediately. Sara closed the door and went back to the living room where she sat on the couch. Within five minutes, she was asleep too.
As they pulled into the Lake Mead Recreation Area parking lot, Sara turned toward Nick and commented, "Wow, this is really beautiful. I don't think I've ever been out here without being on a case."
With that Nick gave her a lopsided grin and a raised eyebrow, "You know, Sara, you really need to get out more often."
She chuckled, "Yeah."
They got out of the Tahoe and claimed a spot near the shoreline. The place was fairly deserted at this hour. As they sat on the ground, Nick turned to Sara pulling his sunglasses down, "So, Sara, you wanna tell me what's up?"
Sara took a deep breath, "It's complicated, Nick." She stared straight ahead at the lake through her sunglasses.
He smiled, "Life tends to be that way. Like I said before, I'm a good listener. Why don't you give me a try." He sat there, his arms encircling his knees, ankles crossed, his sunglasses twirling in one hand as he looked over at Sara and waited.
Sara let out a long breath, pushed her sunglasses on top of her head, and turned to look at Nick with a serious look on her face, "It's just, I've made some really stupid decisions lately, and I sort of feel like I'm spinning out of control. And you know, I really like being in control. You know me, Sara Sidle, lives for the lab, has no life. And this week, I mean, the explosion, and then I pulled a gun on a suspect. If Brass wasn't' there."
Nick interjected, "But, Sara, Brass was there. You're ok."
Tears began streaming down Sara's face, "Then why don't I feel ok, Nick?"
Nick scooted over close to Sara and pulled her into his arms and let her rest against his side as she cried. "Sara, that's normal. You've been through hell this week and you expect to feel as if nothing happened. Even you, Sara Sidle are not invincible." Nick smiled as he rubbed Sara's arm.
She looked up at him through her tears and tried to smile.
Nick continued, "You remember when I asked you if you had even had a gun pulled on you?"
Sara nodded sniffling and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Both times, it scared the hell out of me. I cried like a baby the first time. Right there with the gun pointed at my face. I thought I was going to die. If it wasn't for Grissom, I would have. And when Nigel Crane threatened to shoot me and then turned the gun on himself, Sara, I thought he was going to kill me, and then I didn't want him to kill himself, it scared the hell out of me. After Brass got the gun away from him, I cried like a baby. Do you think I felt very in control? Hell no. We work as a team. You can't make it as a Lone Ranger. I know what you mean about wanting to be in control, but don't you know that it's just an illusion? No one is truly in control of their lives. We can't control the circumstances. Life hurts. You need to make friends with that or you're not going to make it. Sara, you need to let yourself need people." Nick hugged her close, he could hear her sobbing now. He just stroked her hair and held her as she cried.
Her sobs tapered off to sniffles, "Nick?"
"Yeah, Sara?" Nick replied looking down at her with concern.
"I don't deserve how nice you've been to me." She said sniffling.
A flash of anger and sadness went through Nick, "Sara, look at me."
She looked up at him registering the serious look on his face.
"Sara, that's just it. You do deserve to be treated like this. You need to be treated like this." Nick's gaze was intense, but he wanted her to see that he meant what he said.
Sara pulled herself away from Nick, wiping her tears from her face, "You'd think I could remember a Kleenex or something, your poor shirt." She stared out at the lake for a few minutes. Nick remained silent. She turned again and looked at Nick, he was just waiting, giving her time to say what she needed to say. "Nick, can I tell you something?"
Nick just smiled, "Sara, I told you, I'm a good listener. Fire away."
She took a deep breath and plunged right in, "I made a fool out of myself with Grissom. Right before you found me in the parking lot, I asked him to have dinner with me. He totally blew me off. I've been walking around star struck for three years, thinking that I'm something special. I've been so wrong. He doesn't see me that way. I think I always knew that, but it was easier to pine away for him than to allow myself to develop something real with someone. I mean I dated Hank, but I think we know what a louse he turned out to be."
"Yeah, you can't be too sure about guys you pick up over a decomp." Nick chuckled.
Sara laughed.
Nick's expression became serious, "Sara, what you said about not being special, you're wrong. You are special. You are a brilliant CSI. You might throw yourself a little too much into your work at times, but you are very good at your job. As for Grissom, Sara, he cares about you, in a fatherly sort of way, but he does care about you. He is pretty clueless about showing that to people, but he does care. Don't sell yourself short. Just because Grissom isn't in love with you doesn't mean that you're not special. You're a smart, beautiful woman. Man, that intimidates guys."
Sara averted her eyes from Nick, "You think I'm beautiful, Nick?"
Nick laughed. Sara looked back at him and saw a wide smile on his face as he responded to her question. "Sara, I'd have to blind not to notice that you're beautiful."
Sara blushed, "Thanks, Nick."
"Hey, Sara?" Nick queried.
"Yeah, Nick?" She responded.
"Do you want to go for a walk? I'm gonna fall asleep if I sit here much longer." He smiled trying to stifle a yawn.
"Sure." Sara answered with a smile. She got up off the ground where she had been sitting and offered Nick a hand to help him up. Without releasing their hands, Nick and Sara walked along the shoreline of Lake Mead lost in their own thoughts.
Sara couldn't remember feeling this peaceful in a long time. What was it about Nick Stokes that brought this out in her? She wasn't sure she understood. She'd worked with him for three years and had gotten to know him. Sure he was attractive and had a reputation as a ladies man, which she wasn't sure was completely true, but he had shown her a part of himself that she found infinitely more attractive than his outer looks. He had accepted her in her fallen apart state and didn't judge her. He knew what she needed when she didn't. Not that he was perfect, he was just real with her, and it was that quality she found amazing.
Nick didn't know why, but he felt very protective of Sara. Sure they'd worked together for three years and he'd been very competitive with her. They teased each other the way a brother and sister would. They also flirted with each other. She could hold her own with the best of them. But seeing her crying in the parking lot, all he wanted to do was protect her from whatever was hurting her. He knew he couldn't really. She'd have to deal with her own demons and come to terms with the things that had happened that week. But he knew without a doubt that he'd be her biggest supporter. He was beginning to see Sara in a new light and he wasn't sure he was completely comfortable with it. Feelings had begun to surface in him, but he didn't want to push. She'd been through hell this week and he didn't want to take advantage of it. She needed a friend, and for the time being, that is what he would give her. Maybe later he'd explore what he was beginning to feel.
They had walked quite a ways down the shoreline. Sara stopped and turned toward Nick. "Nick, we should head back. You need to get some sleep before shift tonight."
He looked at her and smiled, "Yeah, you're right." He squeezed her hand and they began to walk back toward the Tahoe.
When they neared the SUV, Sara said authoritatively, "Nick, I'm driving."
He didn't protest, he was dead tired. "Ok."
They got in the vehicle and Sara drove back toward Vegas. As they neared the city limits, she looked over and noticed that Nick was sound asleep. Since her Tahoe was still back at CSI, and they both had to work in a few hours, she decided to just head back to her apartment and let him sleep there. She pulled into her lot and turned off the engine. Nick was still asleep. "Nick. Nick. Nick, wake up."
Nick's eyes fluttered open, "Huh, where are we, Sara?" He sat up in the seat and wiped the sleep out of his eyes.
"Well, since my Tahoe is still at CSI and I'm going to need a ride, I brought you back to my apartment. You can crash for a couple of hours before shift." She replied.
"Ok. Oh, I should grab my duffel bag out of the backseat so I can change my clothes, I've been wearing these a little too long." Nick said with a tired smile, reaching in the backseat for the bag.
Nick deposited his duffel bag by the door as they entered Sara's apartment. He headed for the couch and sat down looking exhausted. He looked at Sara and asked, "Are you doing better, Sar?"
"Yeah, thanks." Sara sat on the couch beside him putting her hand on his arm. "Nick, you need to get some sleep. Go crash in my room and I'll wake you up before shift." She grabbed Nick's hand so he couldn't argue and pulled him down the hall toward her room. At the doorway, Sara stopped and crossed her arms in front of her with a smile on her face, "Now sleep."
Nick smiled back and pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, "Thanks, Sara."
With her hands against his chest, she looked up at him, smiled, and kissed him on the cheek, "Sleep." With that she stepped out of the embrace. He stepped into the room and crawled onto the bed. He was asleep almost immediately. Sara closed the door and went back to the living room where she sat on the couch. Within five minutes, she was asleep too.
