I AM SO DEPRESSED!
No, not because of what I just wrote. I like this chapter actually.
First of all, thanks for putting up with me. I wasn't able to upload chapter seven last week because I had a midterm exam last Saturday and then I had to write a ten-page critique paper in my other subject and then it turned out that it needed not be ten pages but five! Hmp.
I'm scared that I might fail one of my subjects. It sucks real bad! I hate it.
Anyway, enough of that. On to chapter seven.
Sirius finally garnered every ounce of courage to do what he's going to do in this chapter. Although, of course, it's still only implied and he hasn't actually, officially, did what he had to do.
James and Lily don't have much parts together here. It's because this chapter is kind of transitional. And I like to make James suffer more with what he did to Lily.
Okay, time to thank those who reviewed previously:
the-fly-screen: thanks!
Stating-the-obvious: hi, I read your e-mail. Sorry I wasn't able to reply. I was really busy.
mutsumi: upload na ko!
Hermione101888: yes, James to the rescue!
Breezy: Thanks for the review. But I think it would be quite some time before Lily knock her head and realize it wasn't supposed to be Lucius that she liked.
Darci Malfoy: here's the next chapter! :)
Kiao: chapter seven up!
Sugarquill: here's chapter seven… :)
Everything you recognize here belongs to JK Rowling. Everything else belongs to me.
Alright, read and please please please review.
I need reviews!
I don't know why, I just need them. :)
i've been sleeping on half of my bed lately... and thinking about what you said to me... -- lisa loeb, "lisa listen"
someday he'll call her and she will come running... and fall in his arms and the tears will fall down... and she'll pray... i want to fall in love with you... -- jars of clay, "love song for a savior"
~*~*~*~
CHAPTER SEVEN: Sirius Aficionado
She opened her eyes blankly as if she just woke up from a deep, quiet, relaxing slumber.
Well, she did. Lily fell into unconsciousness a few hours ago and now she woke up and was trying to focus her vision. Everything was blurry, even her mind, as she recalled what she was doing…
Lying in the Hospital Wing.
She felt the mattress of the bed firmly against her back, almost trying to bury herself deeper into them. It almost seemed like ages the last time she lay down on soft cushions that even the not-so-soft pillows of the hospital bed felt like cotton – or clouds even.
As her vision cleared, she started to recognize the owners of the whispering voices around her. The first person that she saw was Toni, who was sitting on the bed, beside her.
"There you are," Toni greeted her with a smile, as soon as she was able to focus her sight.
Lily smiled back then looked around her. She saw Vince and Kiara jumped up to their feet as soon as they heard Toni talk to her. The three of them were now looking at her positioned like a group of people gazing at a newborn baby.
They all greeted her with a smile and she smiled back at them. There was a moment of silence as they waited for her to speak. Apparently, she still seemed confused.
She looked around appearing like she was still trying to absorb that she was in the Hospital Wing. The thing she wanted to recall the most was what she was doing there in the first place. After a few seconds, she realized that she lost consciousness… she wasn't exactly sure how long ago.
She tried remembering more of it. It had always been a natural instinct that a person wanted to know what happened to them in events that they could not remember. She closed her eyes, recalling where she was before she ended waking up looking at the ceiling of the hospital wing.
Ah, she was in the halls, walking back to the Gryffindor tower after an exhaustive work of doing paper requirements for school. She remembered… she sighed… she remembered coming across James in the halls and fighting with him again. She grew tired of it. But that wasn't really what she wanted to remember.
She remembered even the last events before she fell… before she fell to the floor. She fell to the floor? Yes, she knew she would fall to the ground the last seconds before she lost her vision – and her awareness, for that matter.
Involuntarily, she tried to move her body expecting something to hurt… like the whole of her back, maybe? Or maybe she could feel a bruise somewhere. She felt fine… so far.
Then, she moved her head slightly, expecting a terrible headache with it. But no. She still felt… fine. She opened her eyes and glanced at herself. Something should've been hurting right about then if she fell to the floor, right? Then, as a last try of discovering for something that might be broken, she felt her head. She was supposing that a giant bump might have formed by that time since she might have surely knocked her head on the floor.
She raised her head slightly and touched the back of it. And when she did so, she didn't feel any bumps but she glimpsed a figure leaning by the wall at one end of the room.
James.
Now, what was he doing there? Lily laid her head back down on the 'soft' pillows of the hospital bed. James was standing by the other end of the room but he was sure looking worriedly towards her…
And then, as if some disconnected wires in her brain had been reattached, she remembered.
She didn't fall. Yes, she fell. But she didn't fall to the ground.
Someone caught her just in time. And that someone was the one who seemed to be hiding in the shadows by the other end of the room.
"What time is it?" Lily asked her friends, sounding as if she was ready to go back to her schoolwork.
Kiara sighed and looked at her. "Alright. You're not doing anything tonight and tomorrow but rest and relaxation," she said firmly, like a mother to her hyperactive, sick little kid.
"I'm okay, Kiara," Lily argued. "I just—"
"You just passed out because you've been working too hard," Kiara interjected.
"I'll be alright."
"You know. Kiara's right," Vince spoke. "Besides, you really need to rest." He was about to say something more when Madam Prenny, the school nurse, came barging in with her singsong voice.
"Alright, visiting time's up," she said, as she carried a bottle of something – probably medicine, but even the sight of it looked nasty – in one hand and a thermometer on the other. "Why don't you kids go back to your dormitories and let your friend get some rest," she suggested rather friendly than commandingly.
With that, Kiara leaned down to Lily and kissed her on the forehead before saying, "Sleep, okay?"
Lily nodded and smiled accordingly.
"I have Quidditch practice anyway," Toni said, afterwards. Then, she gave Lily's hand a soft squeeze and said, "But you will rest."
Lily rolled her eyes. Sometimes, her friends worry too much. "I'll be fine," she insisted.
"Okay, we'll go ahead." It was Vince's turn to remind his friend that she had to stay in the hospital wing to rest.
"Bye," was all that Lily could say after everything that her friends told her.
She watched them made their way to the door. And what she couldn't help noticing was the way they all acknowledged James' presence in the room. Alright, even they could see him. Maybe, he actually had the right to be there.
When her friends left, he lingered for a moment. She watched him move uncomfortably in his position – seeming like wanting to approach her and then backing out at the last second. But after a few to and fro in his corner of the room, he decided to leave.
She sighed, without any particular reason. Maybe she just needed to let out some unconscious ill feeling she had inside her.
"That was a pretty weighty sigh," Madam Prenny said, as she signaled for Lily to open her mouth to make way for the thermometer. "You and James Potter have something unpleasant going on between you?"
Lily frowned. "Well, he started it," she uttered quite indefatigably. "That Potter guy never fails to get into my nerves," she added, before she took the thermometer in her mouth.
It was the school nurse's turn to sigh heavily. "Well," she said, looking into Lily's eyes. "That Potter guy was the one who carried you in here," she told it like Lily just owed the remaining days of her life to him. And since Lily could not say anything because of the stick of glass stuck in her mouth, she continued. "He ran in here screaming my name. I thought somebody just died."
Lily's face relaxed. She didn't know that James was capable of giving a lot of a damn that she just passed out and fell.
"And then I saw him carrying you in his arms. You should've seen the worry on his face," Madam Prenny continued as she took the thermometer from her patient. "He didn't even realize that he could use a stretcher to carry you up here from the ground floor."
Lily's face flashed a look of disbelief. He carried her from the ground floor? "That's," she started, looking at the school nurse with knitted eyebrows, "a lot of staircases," was all that she could manage to word out.
The school nurse shrugged. Her hand was now holding a spoon filled with the medicine from the bottle she carried from the nurse's office. "Drink," she ordered.
Lily's face contorted. Nasty tasting medicine it really was. She stuck her tongue out with a face that apparently implied her disgust for the taste. "What's that?"
"It's good for you," the school nurse replied. "You're so pale, you're gonna need to get some color on your face before you leave this room. Now, I'm going to get some soup and you're gonna have to eat it." With that, she spun around and walked back to the nurse's office, carrying the bottle and thermometer with her.
* * * * *
The Gryffindor team held their usual Quidditch practice in the field. James only officially announced the end of their practice when he finally heard enough groans from his teammates.
That was James when it came to practice. He believed that he didn't need to push his team into practicing because he knew that his teammates shared the same sentiments when it came to winning matches. He would only hear complaints when his team was already bored and tired of the routine that they were practicing – meaning, they were finally ready for the game.
It was already late in the afternoon and the sun would have completely set after a couple more hours when James decided to dismiss practice.
The Gryffindor team started their way to the castle. But James held one of them back. "Toni," he called.
Toni turned around and faced him. "Yeah?"
He took a deep breath as he walked closer to her. "Uh… You know that I'm not the one to play favorites but… you're my best bet in this team and well… I'm…" he trailed, like the fact to the matter was that he didn't know what was the point of what he was saying. "I was pretty unsatisfied with the way you performed a while ago…" his eyes twitched at the said of that, as if afraid that she might get violent.
Toni rolled her eyes and sighed audibly. "Are you trying to make me stay and practice," she said the word mockingly, "some more with you because you're depressed about a certain somebody?" she finished, frankly speaking.
James opened his mouth to say something but it took a few more seconds to admit that she was right. "Well – that's just part of it," he insisted with a shrug like it was not something that she should put a big deal on.
Toni nodded. "Well, to put you out of your misery," she began. "Lily's just been overworked lately. It's not your fault." She paused, realizing something. "Well, actually, it's partly your fault. Because you weren't doing your Head Boy duties with her about the ball," she said as a matter of fact.
James put up his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright," he said. "I only asked you to practice some more," he added, as he picked up the Quaffle from the ground.
"Oh, you were serious about that?" Toni uttered disbelievingly.
"Actually, yeah," James answered as he passed the Quaffle to her.
Toni caught the ball and rolled her eyes. "Fine…" she groaned. And she lazily followed James back into the field.
James flew in the air on his broom. It was Toni's cue to follow him.
"How are we supposed to do this again without the team?" she called to him, hoping he would change his mind, as she flew in the air holding the Quaffle around her arm against her body.
James hung in midair and turned to her. "We can manage," he said casually. Then, in a fraction of a second, he swooped and grabbed the Quaffle from her grasp.
After recovering from the abrupt stealing of the ball, Toni followed him.
James rode so fast that she was having a hard time keeping up. It was his being the team's seeker that made him elusive and agile with the broom himself. He was constantly looking behind him, watching her try to keep up.
Because of this, Toni flew higher in the air. Now, she was hovering over James, who slowed down, trying to find where she went. When she realized that he was feeling unguarded, she dived her broom down to him and stole the Quaffle.
* * * * *
Back in the castle, Kiara was walking up the flight of steps to the girls' dormitory when Sirius came hurrying down the stairs.
"Kiara!" he greeted enthusiastically. The kind of enthusiastic tone a person would use when he was hiding a secret.
Kiara knitted her eyebrows. "Sirius?" she said, apparently curious what he was doing running hastily from the girls' dormitory.
"Where are you going?" Sirius asked like a girl walking up those stairs was pretty unusual.
Kiara raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "To my room…" she answered. "Where have you been?" she asked after which, realizing that she was the one who had the right to ask such questions in situations like that. Suddenly, she hit Sirius' arm with all her strength. "Sirius!"
"Aw!" Sirius grimaced. "Hey," he said, nursing his arm.
"Were you fooling around with some girl?" Kiara asked him with narrowed eyes.
"I wasn't!" Sirius exclaimed in protest even before she could finish the last consonant of her statement.
Kiara turned her head sideways and side glanced at him skeptically. "You're lying," she said flatly.
Sirius turned pale. "God, Kiara, I swear…" he pleaded, as he led her down the stairs. It seemed that he knew, from experience, that she was the only person he'd ever met to be the most difficult person to convince.
She glared at him.
"Listen," he started again. He held her by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm not lying," he said the words with much equal emphasis as if it would help to make them sink in her mind. "I need you… to do me a favor."
Kiara groaned loudly. Not because she realized that he wasn't lying; it was because she realized with it what favor he wanted to ask. "Sirius! Why on earth," she began, "of all the girls you've dated, you're mouth just won't talk properly when it comes to this one?"
Sirius sustained his unrelenting pleading eyes at her. He wasn't actually sure if he was sending the right message but what he wanted her to recognize was the sincerity in him. "Kiara, I swear," he started. "I will owe you and serve you and love you for the rest of my life if you do this one favor," he pleaded. "Well, love you as a friend, that is," he added, feeling like he needed to make everything clear.
Kiara smiled mischievously. "A personal servant for life in exchange of one favor…" she mouthed, appearing to be talking to herself more than to the person in front of her. "You know," she told him. "I'm starting to like you," she said as she grabbed Sirius to a corner to listen to his request.
* * * * *
Meanwhile, Lily sat on her bed holding the bowl of soup that Madam Prenny gave her. She stared at the liquid like it was some sort of foreign object nobody had seen before. She was about to put it aside when she heard the school nurse call to her, "Eat your soup."
Because of this, she picked up the utensil already resting in the bowl and scooped a spoonful of the soup. Her face made a disgusted expression once the food met her tongue. Being sick is sickening, she said to herself. Not being able to stand the taste of the food, she put it aside on the table beside her bed. She didn't care if Madam Prenny would throw a fit once she found out that she didn't eat it.
"I notice you're not happy to see me." Lily heard a male voice say just in time when she made the disgusted face because of the soup. She looked up and saw Lucius by the door, walking toward her – and semi-froze. She didn't know why, but it seemed like her movements suddenly became stiff. "Don't worry, I'll be leaving soon," he added.
"L-Lucius…" Lily finally caught the breath to say a word. It was only then that he noticed that he was carrying a couple of parchment in his hand. "This – this is a surprise."
"I'm not staying," Lucius said, his voice still carried that tone of indifference. "I just wanted to drop these off," he explained handing her the parchment that he was carrying.
Lily took the parchment and looked at them. She realized that he had brought her the assignments that she missed that day. She looked up at him, curious. "Why did you—"
"Professor Spinter ordered me to give it to you," Lucius interrupted, shrugging like it didn't mean anything. "I guess that Head Boy Potter isn't as reliable as everybody might think," he added with a smirk.
"Well… thanks," Lily said, looking at him with a smile, completely ignoring the subject of 'that Head Boy, Potter.'
After a few seconds of silence – Lily sitting in her bed and Lucius just standing there – he decided to leave. But, he had just turned around when he heard her groan – like in pain, in his opinion. With this, he turned back around. "Are you alright?" he asked, ironically still trying to sound apathetic.
Lily smiled at him. "I'm fine," she replied. "I just want more sleep," she added as she leaned back on the bed and closed her eyes.
"Well, then, I should be going now." He was halfway to the door when Lily called on him.
"Lucius?"
He turned around not saying anything.
"Thanks," Lily said. "W-well, I know I've said that before, but well… thanks," she added. She knew she was probably sounding dumb at that time but she really didn't care – her head was aching for sleep. To her surprise, Lucius curved his lips slightly upward – oh, he smiled. She could not help but smile back. She had never seen him do that – flash a genuine smile – not the kind that said that he was up to something not good. It was just a smile that said he had appreciated something.
"No problem," Lucius uttered before he finally went out of the door.
Just then, Remus was coming in holding a bunch of flowers in his hand. They managed to throw each other a look of dislike before proceeding toward their own directions.
Remus neared Lily's bed. "Hi," he said, grinning.
Lily sat up and smiled back. "Hey," she greeted.
"Was he bothering you?" he asked, referring to Malfoy.
"No," Lily said, shaking her head. "He just brought me the schoolwork I missed."
"Well, I brought you these," Remus said, handing her the flowers that he brought.
"Thanks," Lily said as she took the flowers from him.
Remus sat beside her, on the bed. "So, James must really have a toxic effect on you for you to be lying in the hospital wing right now," he joked.
"Yeah," Lily giggled. "I think so."
There was a brief moment of pause then Lily broke the silence. "Remus?"
"Hmmm?"
"Did James tell you anything about why we fought?"
"No," Remus was quick to answer. "That's just cause he thinks you're finally going to kill him if he does. Why?"
"Nothing," Lily said, shaking her head.
"Lily, don't mind him too much," Remus sighed. He scrunched up his nose and joked, "Sometimes, he's just really like that. You know, youngest in the Potter clan, he likes getting attention."
Lily laughed, agreeing with Remus. Even if was meant to be a joke, she was sure that there was a certain truth in that. "I've noticed that," she said, nodding in accord.
* * * * *
Just one simple description would illustrate the outdoors during that time – dark with only the moon and a thousand stars lighting up the sky.
Toni finally decided that she had enough 'practice' with James. She zoomed down to the ground and landed on the sand at the bottom of a goal.
"Hey, where are you going?" James tried calling her back, as he followed her down.
Once Toni landed on the sand, she laid herself on the ground like it was the softest thing she had ever felt against her back. She watched James land and walk towards her.
"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at her lying on the sand.
"James, I'm so tired," Toni complained. "I swear, if you make me get up and practice some more, I'll use the last of my strength to kill you," she added. Apparently, exhaustion might have taken over her body, but her mind was definitely in its right place – unfailingly being the typical sometimes-tough Toni that she was.
James shrugged. "Fine," he decided. He looked up to the sky and said, "It's dark anyway."
Toni glared at him. "You actually noticed that?" she said, her tone was obviously full of sarcasm. She rolled her eyes and looked up the sky instead.
James sat beside her and spent a few seconds of silence. And then, out of nowhere, Toni chuckled.
"Alright…" he uttered, as if Toni just lost her mind. "Now I'm thinking maybe I've practiced you too much."
"No," Toni replied. She sat up and looked at him. "I just remembered Lily and the first time we studied stars. She was the worst person in identifying the constellations. Even now, she could never pinpoint where the Big Dipper is even if it means to save her life."
James suddenly became enthusiastic. Hmmm… Lily talk. He straightened up and his attention was now all on Toni. "The Big Dipper?" he asked, smiling, as if trying to comprehend why in the world, out of all the constellations…
"Yeah."
"The Big Dipper is like…" James looked up to the sky and pointed. "…there!"
"I know!"
"Well, is there anything else I don't know about her?"
Toni snorted. "Of course," she said matter-of-factly, as she stood up and brushed the sand off her. "She's a teenage girl, James. We all have our petty secrets."
James stood up as well, following Toni, who started walking back to the castle. "Well, can you tell me anything of help so she would talk to me again?"
"I can. But I won't."
"Please…"
Toni stopped walking and turned to face him. "That would be cheating," she said. Then she put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with mock pity. "You can do it," she joked an encouraging tone, as she tried to stifle a laugh.
* * * * *
A very tired and messy Toni climbed up the stairs to her dormitory, craving for a long warm bath. Although she couldn't let the weird look that Kiara just gave her a moment ago when she entered the common room pass. She couldn't say that it was probably because of how chaotic her appearance was because she always looked like that after hours of practice – and Kiara never flashed any suspicious looks before.
When at last she reached the door of their room, she stopped on her tracks becoming aware of a piece of paper tacked on the door outside the room. She would probably ignore it and just go straight in and to the bathtub but what caught her attention was that the piece of paper had her name written on it.
Her face suddenly became quizzical as she removed the tack from the door and took the paper. She flipped the paper, not knowing what to expect. Her forehead wrinkled with confusion as she read what was written on it.
Toni…
I can't help it anymore. I have to do this…
The first thought that came into her mind was Kiara's weird expression back in the common room. So, maybe, it had something to do with that. She concluded that Kiara might have done something wrong or something that she would definitely – definitely – disagree with.
Half mindedly, because of tiredness, she opened the door lazily. But all the exhaustion in her body went out the window once she was able to grasp what was in front of her. Apparently, her conclusion about Kiara was very wrong.
The smile on her face couldn't be wiped off her face as she looked around. She inhaled the sweet scent as she walked into the room and closed the door.
She walked on petals and petals of roses that were purposely scattered on the floor. And everywhere she looked, she realized that the room had been filled with yellow daisies – her favorite. Someone took an awful lot of trouble to know that they were her favorite and to fill the room with countless flowers of that kind.
She stood in the center of the room, apparently in awe and still trying to absorb the sight all around her. "Oh my God, Kiara, I'm gonna kill you," she whispered to herself, realizing why her friend was so out of this world a while ago, as her smile grew wider.
Then, she noticed a bunch of petals on her bed. On top of it was another piece of paper, similar to the one she found outside the door, with her name on it. She sat on her bed and picked it up and flipped it to reveal the words…
Toni…
I think I've fallen for you…
If she wasn't sitting, she had probably fell to the floor, as her knees seemed to have dissolved in reading that.
There was no signature. And the handwriting was very familiar but she just couldn't point it out. And although the note wasn't signed, she knew whom to ask about it anyway.
She leaned against her pillows. Now, all her tiredness had melted away as her feelings changed into being the most special girl that night.
~*~*~*~
i'm in so deep... you know i'm such a fool for you... -- the cranberries, "linger"
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Review and tell me… :)
Till next week!
