Brian reclined against a wall in the back of Babylon. A random guy on his
knees before him, doing what many men in Babylon had done to him before.
Normally Brian would welcome being pleasured by a good-looking man such as
this one, but tonight he felt a certain way. He had been feeling this way a
lot lately. It was not a familiar emotion, and it perplexed Brian. He had
never felt this way in his life before. He was never so alone, so desolate.
He wouldn't admit it, but without a doubt, he missed Justin.
He was so deep in thought that he didn't even realize that the man giving him a blow job had left. He zipped his jeans and headed back into the front of the club. His destination was the exit, and he planned to get there ceaselessly, but that didn't work out.
"Hey Brian, where're you going?" said Michael who was entangled in Ben's arms.
"It's getting late Mikey. I'm leaving." Brian replied as he continued walking, only stopping long enough to answer.
Michael didn't respond to this, he just went back to his conversation with Ben.
Brian was finally home. Without Justin all his days seemed long and tedious. He longed to have him back; he wanted to hold him in his arms, make him feel like he wanted to feel, loved. However, Brian was too stubborn to do this. He had to taunt himself, reminisce on all their times together, wishing to relive the past.
Brian slid open the door to his apartment, and trudged in as if the walk up to his apartment had been an arduous journey. He went into his room and collapsed into his bed.
"Why do I have to be so headstrong," he wondered.
"I should just pick up the phone and call him, ask him if we can talk. There wouldn't be any harm in that would there?"
Then Brian remembered something, Ethan. He knew how happy Justin was with Ethan. He didn't want to hurt him by taking him away from Ethan, but he wanted him back so badly. This was so unlike the usual Brian Kinney. He was being so sensitive. This wasn't Brian. Brian was bold, resilient, he was the one who never cried, was never down, never in pain. Brian loved Justin, he had expressed it minutely in his own way, and Justin knew that Brian loved him, but he wanted more, he wanted romance, and that's what Ethan could give him. But couldn't Brian give him what he wanted too?
He was so deep in thought that he didn't even realize that the man giving him a blow job had left. He zipped his jeans and headed back into the front of the club. His destination was the exit, and he planned to get there ceaselessly, but that didn't work out.
"Hey Brian, where're you going?" said Michael who was entangled in Ben's arms.
"It's getting late Mikey. I'm leaving." Brian replied as he continued walking, only stopping long enough to answer.
Michael didn't respond to this, he just went back to his conversation with Ben.
Brian was finally home. Without Justin all his days seemed long and tedious. He longed to have him back; he wanted to hold him in his arms, make him feel like he wanted to feel, loved. However, Brian was too stubborn to do this. He had to taunt himself, reminisce on all their times together, wishing to relive the past.
Brian slid open the door to his apartment, and trudged in as if the walk up to his apartment had been an arduous journey. He went into his room and collapsed into his bed.
"Why do I have to be so headstrong," he wondered.
"I should just pick up the phone and call him, ask him if we can talk. There wouldn't be any harm in that would there?"
Then Brian remembered something, Ethan. He knew how happy Justin was with Ethan. He didn't want to hurt him by taking him away from Ethan, but he wanted him back so badly. This was so unlike the usual Brian Kinney. He was being so sensitive. This wasn't Brian. Brian was bold, resilient, he was the one who never cried, was never down, never in pain. Brian loved Justin, he had expressed it minutely in his own way, and Justin knew that Brian loved him, but he wanted more, he wanted romance, and that's what Ethan could give him. But couldn't Brian give him what he wanted too?
