OH MY, JAMES IS STARTING TO FALL…
Alright, once again, thank you for all those who read my story and also those who took the time to submit a review. As I said in a previous chapter, it's nice to see some new names. And it's nice to see, too, those who continually submit a review.
Well, as you all know, Vince never liked Lily. So *deep breath* now that's clear. And in this chapter, that's already out of the question… because who likes Lily? *ahem* James Potter. At last. But, alas, he's still in denial but, oh well, you know that has to change sooner or later.
Okay, I've nothing else to say so I'm leaving you here to read chapter fourteen.
Oh, right, it's been a while since I did a disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine. They all belong to JK Rowling. BUT everything you don't recognize is mine.
So, that's about it.
Read and Review!
i'll never be all you want me to but that's alright... i'm gonna make you love me... i'm gonna dry your tears... and we're gonna stay together for a million years... -- the jayhawks, "i'm gonna make you love me"
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Dreams
It wasn't like James Potter took a sudden affection for Lily Evans. Alright, Vince pointed out to him that he might have been looking especially different at Lily but…
Did that really mean something to him?
The next day, just like every other student making their way toward the Great Hall for lunch, Vince and Lily were strolling along together after the History of Magic class – one that, among the four friends, only two of them were taking. They were engrossed in a conversation about the lesson they just had when Lily saw a figure approaching them – or her.
"Uh, Lily?" Emma greeted, quite toned-down compared to the previous times that she confronted Lily. Her expression was so calm that it was almost apologetic.
Lily could understand why Emma might very well wanted to strangle her because James hadn't actually sat down and talked to Emma about their recently doomed relationship. And she couldn't really blame James' ex-girlfriend for acting the way she did.
"Uh… hi," she greeted back, flashing a smile.
"Look," Emma began. "I – I want to apologize about my attitude these past couple of days," she continued, having a hard time looking Lily in the eye. But she managed to do it anyhow. "I realized James is just really such a jerk," she added with so much genuine feeling.
At last, James had finally cleared things with her, Lily thought. So, her days of being the constant recipient of Emma's hateful glares were finally over. "Uh, well… that's okay," Lily replied, thankful that things were already clear with her and Emma.
"Alright," Emma chirped cheerfully, smiling widely. "I guess I'll see you around."
"Yeah," Lily answered.
After waving goodbye, Emma turned around and threw her arms around a guy, from Ravenclaw, who was waiting for her.
Well, then, part of her cheerfulness might have been because of the fact that she found herself a new guy. But that was besides the point.
Lily was actually glad that James had finally shown a little maturity when unexpectedly, she saw him behind the shadows, just by the corner of the hallway near the entrance of the Great Hall. And just as suddenly, all the things she thought of went straight to the 'things that James could never be' part of her brain.
Nope. He didn't change at all.
She saw James kissing with Sarah Cramer. They were partly hidden from view, but apparently, people could still see them.
Lily had to roll her eyes. She elbowed Vince lightly and pointed to where James and Sarah were making out. "Great," she groaned. "I actually thought James talked to her," she said, with an obvious disappointment in her voice. She wanted to bump her head on the wall for even thinking for one second that James could do something as remotely mature as 'hey, let's just make things clear' kind of discussion. Because, well, from what she was seeing that moment, he couldn't.
Apparently, James made it clear to Emma that he wasn't interested in Lily by going ahead kissing another girl… say, Sarah?
"This is hilarious," Vince suddenly snorted. Lily turned a confused look at him and he was all too willing to explain. "I told James the real thing is that he likes you and he goes kissing another girl," he confessed.
Lily's eyes widened in surprise. For a second, her feet couldn't move, like they were glued to the floor. Good thing Vince noticed how struck she was and stopped walking.
Lily opened her mouth to say something but for the next five seconds, all she could come up with were 'uh – wa – I' and then finally, a deep breath. "You – you told what to whom – who likes – what?!" she exclaimed. They were almost gibberish but by the look of amusement in Vince's eyes, her friend apparently understood what she just stuttered.
Vince had to chuckle as he almost dragged her toward the door of the Great Hall. Lily refused to get into the Hall until after he explained what he just said, but to at least wait until they were seated, he said, "It's a long story."
* * * * *
Alright, so they did a little tug-of-war at the entrance door before Vince finally promised-to-God-hoped-he-died-if-he-didn't-tell-her-the-whole-story kind of thing and at long last, lead Lily into the Great Hall and toward their seats at the Gryffindor table.
The food were already served and Vince took the reason of being too hungry to remember and tell the story but Lily grabbed his plate away from him and made him choose to be too-hungry-and-die-instead if he didn't tell her what was going on.
So, what else could Vince do but to tell his friend about his conversation with James during the Potions class they had. He told her about how he said James might like her and that now James was trying to prove him wrong by getting a new girlfriend – not Lily, of course.
Vince was just ending his story when James, with an arm around Sarah's waist, passed them by.
James, not missing Vince's presence at the Gryffindor table, smiled at him – so widely, it appeared to almost rip his skin – as if to imply 'look, I don't like Lily because this girl is whom I like' and nodded to say hi.
When James and Sarah had finally walked past them, Vince turned back to Lily and said, "I told you."
"Um, Vince?" Lily started, her eyes narrowing by the second. "That issue's been killed – dead – buried – a long time ago. It's probably decomposed right now," she blurted out in a thousand words per second, if that was possible. "I don't think he's proving a point. He's just being James," she added. And as if the subject matter couldn't be forgotten just like that, she added then, "Period."
Vince shrugged. Where did Lily get the idea that he was trying to resurrect some decomposing rumor? He cleared his throat and leaned closer to her as if about to share some kind of top secret. "Lily, why are you being so… shall I say, paranoid? About all these?" he asked, rolling his eyes before flashing a look of innocent curiosity at her.
"I'm not being paranoid about all these," Lily replied, mocking Vince's tone. "All I'm saying, is – I'm with Mal—"
"You're with Malfoy," Vince interrupted, as he reached out for a piece of chicken leg across the table. "I know that. But all I'm saying is that, James," he said, pointing his chicken leg to that person sitting with a girl, whom he implied to like, "he's the one who likes you this time around. And the issue that's been killed -- dead -- buried -- along time ago," he added, mimicking the tone that Lily used a while ago, " is the fact that you," he continued, now pointing his food at Lily, "used to have a crush on him. Now, that's a different thing from him liking you," he finished, finally taking a bite out of his food.
Lily groaned. "Honestly!" she blurted out as she rolled her eyes. "What is your point?"
"That he likes you!" Vince declared using the simplest words possible. Maybe, Lily would be able to understand that somehow?
Lily sighed audibly. Well, she didn't know what else to do. "Why do you make me suffer through this little theory of yours?"
Vince shrugged. Now that he thought about it, he actually didn't know why. The only thing he knew was that he wasn't appearing to be the least convinced on James' behavior. He just shrugged, feeling that yup, James Potter was in a state of denial.
* * * * *
James didn't know where he was. Everything around him was hazy and he couldn't see clearly the place that he was in. But even though everywhere he turned, all he could make out were layers of mist and clouds, only one thing was very clear to him.
He saw Lily running. He didn't know to where or from what but all he knew was that she looked afraid. He couldn't just see her, he could feel what she was feeling. She was running through what seemed like an endless tunnel – a loop.
He wanted to reach out to her, but it seemed like she couldn't see him. All he could do was watch her run away – from what? From whom? He felt a sudden pang of hopelessness, knowing that he couldn't even call out to her, he couldn't touch her and make her feel safe.
Then, the next second, he realized that he was standing in the middle of a forest. He could still see her running, still looking afraid… then because of tiredness, she stumbled down to the ground. He wanted to go to her and help her but he felt that she was out of reach.
But the next thing he knew, he was holding her. He was holding her and he could feel her arms gripping tightly around him. And at that moment, he could feel her. He could feel her finding some sort of comfort in him. So, he held her tighter…
And in a flash of a very bright white light, he saw Vince standing in front of him. And beside him stood Lily. She was clothed in a beautiful white flowing dress. He looked at her, and she looked back at him, smiling contentedly.
Then the dark came back, someone grabbed Lily away by the hand. To his dismay, she willingly went to him.
Him.
He knew it was a him. And even though he tried to look at the face of the intruder, he couldn't see who it was. But he knew… he was sure that it was Malfoy, sneering at him.
Malfoy and Lily ran away from him. And not thinking for another second, he ran after them. His heart was racing with pain and anger for many reasons but mostly, because Lily gladly let herself be taken away from him.
He kept running and running. And for a while, he wondered where was he running to. They were gone. He couldn't see them anywhere. He looked to his right, his left, he turned around and tried to see two figures running… but alas, he was alone.
And everything inside him was just filled with emotion. He raised his head to the heavens and shouted with anger.
His eyes opened and all he could see was the moonlight shining through the windows. At that second between dream and waking, James swore he could still feel the anger from the way Malfoy swiftly took Lily away from him. At that second, he felt it all to be too real.
He made out his surroundings and realized that he was in his bed.
It was all a dream.
He took a deep breath.
It was just a dream.
But still, he could feel his heart racing.
He couldn't feel the frustration anymore.
But still, he lay in his bed, not moving, feeling his heart slowing down.
For a while, he stared up at nothing. Then slowly, he drifted back to sleep.
James was standing in a dark, cold, empty place. He looked around. He couldn't see anything. He couldn't hear anything.
Then, just when he thought it, he heard a woman's laughter. He didn't have to see who it was. He knew that voice. It was Lily. Her voice was not too distant from where he was standing.
He turned around to find where she was. He only had to curse himself for doing so because, when he turned around, he saw her…
With Malfoy.
They were walking towards him. But it seemed like Lily couldn't see him. It was only Malfoy who was looking at him in the eyes. And when they were about three feet from him, they stopped. And Malfoy looked at him in ways that could only be translated into saying that he lost.
James lost.
What?
He lost the game of winning her.
Lily.
Then, just like a sudden flash of lightning, he could see Malfoy gripping Lily tightly. And at that moment, Lily was reaching for him. She was all of a sudden afraid of Malfoy near her.
But Malfoy would not let go.
He tried reaching for her but a blinding bolt of lightning pierced through the sky. And the next thing he knew, they were in front of the altar.
He looked around. All was white. Everything was serene. And this time, it felt quiet… pure… safe. He looked to the person standing beside him and she looked back at him. She smiled and looked at him straight in the eyes.
Then, without any hesitation, he leaned down and his lips met hers.
He could feel his lips on hers and he realized that it wasn't just any kiss, there was something else there that he couldn't point out. Lily's kisses were different… they felt… real, full of emotions. It wasn't like with the other women he kissed. Lily's kisses made him feel…
Vulnerable.
And yet, he wasn't ashamed of it.
Lily's kisses were…
Perfect.
And then, their surroundings slowly melted around them. The color of white swirled in the background and rearranged itself. They were still kissing. This time, they were in a room. And James slowly laid her down on the bed…
He sat up. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes to convince himself that he was finally awake. This time, it wasn't only his heart racing not from anger, but from the kisses that he shared with Lily. His hands were shaking and the harder he tried not to think of what just happened – or what was going to happen – in his dream, the more the scenes flashed through his head.
He looked around, as if someone else had seen his dream. And he tried even harder this time to push the thought out of his head. It was almost embarrassing that he was thinking about…
Kissing Lily Evans.
Lily Evans…
Lily?
Lily…
Li – ly…
He took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. It was five-thirty in the morning but he didn't want to go back to sleep anymore. All he could think of was that if he went back to sleep, it might be Lily… kissing him. And him… kissing her… and loving it.
He didn't know what else to do that he started cursing Vince for making him think about her that way. He stood up. Maybe the idea would be washed off him once he took a shower.
And so, he dragged himself into the bathroom and decided to get ready for school – at least, take a shower; and do the uncommon – study for his Charms exam.
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hello darkness my old friend... i've come to talk with you again... because a vision softly creeping... left its seed while i was sleeping... and the vision that was planted in my brain... still remains... within the sound... of silence... -- simon and garfunkel, "the sounds of silence"
Yikes, that was some dream. I know it was kinda confusing. Well, that's what dreams are supposed to be, right? Look at James. He's, uh, confused.
Okay, enough of that. So what do you think?
Tell me.
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