TSK TSK TSK…
Late. Very late.
I'm sorry for the delay. I went to the movies to see X2 and was still hung over it when I got home that I really didn't have the right state of mind to write. You should see it, by the way.
Anyway, what's done is done and I've done chapter seventeen!
Oyeah… you're all getting a wee bit irritated with Malfoy and Lily. You know what, James feels the same way. So, you're not alone. Heehee…
Basically, it's all going to build up inside him until he finally burst – or maybe find out something despicably unforgivable.
Alright, before anything else, I'd like to thank the following people for submitting a review:
angkat14
KrustyB
mutsumi
moozy
parselmouth majere
Andufeniel
princessflowerchild
Lamina Court
Hermione101888
cRaZiiBuM316
Reader4Life
hpgwfan
SpiritedPhoenix
So, I've been late in updating as it is and I've nothing else to say so why don't I leave you now and read.
Don't forget to review!
i miss you... i need you... without you... i'm stranded... i love you... so come back... -- plumb, "stranded"
...what i wouldn't give to see your face again... -- savage garden, "i don't know you anymore"
~*~*~*~
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: A Potter's Belief
Sirius opened the door into the Great Hall like a battered soldier renewed to his strength. His bruises were completely gone now. In other words, he looked just like brand new. Except maybe… what was inside him. He stopped for a moment scanning the whole room – looking for someone… but she wasn't there. All he received were students who paused from eating their lunches to take curious glances at him.
He was so sure that the whole of Hogwarts was already talking about him or about what happened. Although inside he believed that he was innocent, he knew that different versions of stories had already come fluttering around. And he wasn't about to give in to that by hiding.
With James, Remus, and Peter beside him, he braved facing the whole student body just the day after the incident happened. And then might as well brave the walk.
"You even dared to show your face," a voice suddenly hissed from behind.
Sirius turned to look and saw Malfoy had just entered the Great Hall. He flashed a hateful glare and spat back. "Well, you dare to show yours for the past seven years…"
Malfoy raised his eyebrows tauntingly at Sirius, completely unaffected by what had just been said. Then, before he sauntered off, he shook his head and smirked like he was looking at someone so pathetic and miserable.
Sirius ignored him.
Completely.
But someone else was dangerously affected.
James gazed at Malfoy walking away. And he wondered how someone could be such a wretched insipid, pale-headed, son of a—
Lily? His thoughts were disrupted.
His eyes widened as he saw Malfoy walked to the Slytherin table – to Lily… to Lily who was sitting at the Slytherin table!
And for some reason, he couldn't help but be infuriated, annoyed, irritated, aggravated, goaded… and more what-have-you feelings of same sort. He had to force himself to look away. Look away, James. And it took him a hell lot of effort to do so.
In the meantime, Sirius saw Toni sitting in her usual place – usual place with her friends. He caught her eyes but she avoided his gaze. While Vince, seeing him, chose to look down on his food and tried to compose himself.
"I've been thinking," Sirius began, as he sat down in his seat, by the front end of the Gryffindor table. "There's magic to change your appearance, right? To make you look like some other person?" he asked in a very anticipating voice.
"Yeah," Remus answered quite softly. He was looking rather weak that day. And he would probably get worse as he frequently got sickly. "I know that," he continued as his tone livened up a bit. Then he knitted his eyebrows and said, "I – I forgot what it's called."
"It's a potion, I think," Peter joined in. "I saw it once while researching, uh, Transfiguration."
Sirius nodded. "Yeah. Just what I thought," he muttered. "You know what? I think someone's trying to ruin me," he concluded with much confidence – the only feeling he knew he should be having right then. Because he couldn't afford to be unsure. He couldn't afford to be uncertain of the answers that would bring him back to her.
The others nodded in agreement with Sirius. All except for James. He was busily… lost in thought, staring at his glass of pumpkin juice.
Sirius elbowed him gently, trying to get his attention. "Hey."
"James, why are you staring in space lately?" Remus asked innocently. He didn't know what was going on in that mind. He wasn't even sure if he could take a good guess at it. All he knew was that. That every single time they were remotely on the subject of their affiliation with Toni and her friends, James was… out there.
James snapped out of his trance and looked at Remus quite reluctantly. That kind of way like he was trying to hide something. He shrugged and took a drink of his pumpkin juice. Probably when he pretended to be busy eating, he wouldn't be too obvious that he was avoiding his friend's gaze. "N-nothing," he replied, shaking his head.
* * * * *
It was quite a sight in the library. Only if students could actually see James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter together… in the library… looking serious and busy…
Reading.
But since the students didn't have anything much to do with the place because paper assignments were pretty much finished, only a few were able to get a view of the four school mischief makers buried in piles and piles of books.
Sirius bugged his friends all afternoon about his little theory and the other three gave in and went with him to the library to do some serious research. They were occupying a long table in one corner of the room near the potions section.
They had emptied almost a third of the books in the shelves, as these were all stacked on the table where the four of them were seated.
And about half an hour – and several volumes – later, they were still searching. But Remus, feeling sickly as he was, was already tired and decided to rest his eyes for a while. So, he folded his arms on the table, hunched down and laid his head on his arms.
While James was sitting on one end of the table, facing the window, feet on a chair, and the book that he was scanning was on his lap.
Peter, on the other hand, arranged a row of chairs so he could stretch his legs while reading.
And Sirius… Sirius was apparently getting tired but he was too far from giving up. He was sitting by the other end of the table opposite James, leaning on one elbow, his hand supporting his head while he was flipping the pages of the book with his other hand. He wasn't about to give up. Not then… not ever…
And then, as if some light of elucidation shone on them, Remus suddenly woke up from his 'nap' and sat up – quite startling the quiet that had surrounded them for while. "Polyjuice Potion," he blurted out looking like he was talking in his sleep, as his eyes were still half-closed. His friends looked at him with puzzled expressions. And when he realized that they didn't exactly get what he was talking about, he did some short explanation.
He ran a hand across his face to wipe off his tiredness. "It's the Polyjuice Potion," he continued through a yawn. Actually it was more of a yawn that sounded like 'it's the Polyjuice Potion' than the other way around. "I told you I knew it. I just forgot what it's called," he said.
And then stopped there…
Leaving his friends hanging on what he was talking about.
"Well?" Sirius asked quite impatiently.
"It's Polyjuice Potion," Remus repeated like saying the same sentence over and over again would make any difference.
Sirius' eyes widened in utter impatience. Remus was starting to drive him crazy. "Well, how does it work?" he finally questioned.
Remus scratched his head and rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to know? I'm not the one holding the books," he said, holding up his empty hands.
Sirius sighed audibly, realizing that his friend just made a point. And so, he stood up and started searching through the indexes of the books scattered across the table – with the help of his friends, of course. Then, in a matter of less than two minutes, he found it.
Polyjuice Potion.
Printed so clearly like it just stood out from the multitude of subject lists.
He sat back down and laid down the book in front of him. Then, as quick as he could, he leafed through the book with the pages almost ripping apart.
With that, Remus, unable to fight his tiredness by the minute, went back to eye-resting; James stepped down from the table and sat properly in the chair where he had his feet on; and Peter sat straight.
All of them waiting for Sirius to find what he was looking for.
"Polyjuice Potion," Sirius whispered to himself after he slowly turned the page to reveal the words that he was searching for. And by himself, he read through it while his friends were looking at him with much anticipation in their faces – well, except for Remus cause he wasn't actually looking at him.
"Oh… that's gross," Sirius suddenly spoke, with a face that seemed to be all disgusted and sour.
"What?" James and Peter asked excitedly in unison.
But Sirius wasn't actually paying attention to them. Bottomline, he began talking to himself. "Who is someone so low to drink a potion composed of these? That is just… disgusting!" he couldn't be more in touch with what he was feeling right then. Every word he said expressed his very thought on what he was reading.
"Sirius, what are you talking about?" James asked him, trying to bring his friend back who seemed to be lost in his own little world.
"I can't believe this. This is so sick," Sirius continued talking to himself. "One moth to make. Lasts an hour. Who could've done this?" he asked… himself.
"Sirius!" James yelled, that got him his best friend's attention – and the librarian's glare for that matter. "What's going on?"
"It says here it needs the essence of the person you're going to transform into," Sirius finally replied. "My essence?"
"What does that mean?" James asked.
"Essence… I – I don't really know," Sirius replied.
"Maybe something that belongs to you," Peter joined in. "Have you been missing anything lately?"
Sirius thought hardly for a while… and then shook his head no. "Not that I know of." Then he read through the page again. "It doesn't say much. It only lasts for about an hour and…" he trailed as he flipped the page. "That's it," he said quite exasperated. "What am I supposed to do with that information?"
"Well whoever it was, was probably lurking in the halls during Charms or some time before the class period ended," a voice suddenly interrupted their 'thinking' silence.
The three looked up and saw Remus leaning back on his chair – awake again.
And when his friends just stared at him like he was the weirdest looking person on the face of the planet, Remus protested, "What?"
"How? In the world? Can you think? While yawning and being half-asleep?" Sirius asked as he shook his head in astonishment.
"He's Remus," James answered the obvious. Basically, Remus had always been the thinker of the group. "Don't try to understand."
"Wait," Peter interrupted. "Don't you think you're just jumping into conclusions too fast?" he asked, earning him the all too puzzled look from his friends like saying, 'are you with us or not?' "All I'm saying is that this is a little far out. It's a lot of trouble making a potion for a month and then… it only lasts for an hour."
Sirius leaned back in his chair, knowing that Peter had a point. His friend was right that brewing a potion as powerful as this just for its effects to last for only an hour was almost… incredulous. In fact, it was completely ridiculous. But still…
He stood up and grabbed the book. "Well, I have no choice but to believe it," he declared, as his face slowly turned into a guy-with-a-mission expression.
He checked out the book from the library. He was getting closer to patch everything that was broken… the trust, the relationship, and himself. He lived in a world where the impossible could happen. And what just he had in that book wasn't… impossible.
Alone, he headed for the door. His friends knew better than to follow him. He had to do this by himself.
And when he was a couple of strides from the exit, the most despicable human being, in his opinion, appeared before him.
"Oh, you're holding a book," Malfoy mocked him. Sirius was the first person he saw as he stepped into the library. "That's something new and quite interesting," he added, earning him a hateful and full of rage glare from Sirius.
Sirius didn't give him the satisfaction. He had more important things to do than stand there and engage in an ill-mannered exchange with Malfoy. So all he did, aside from his defiant stare, was to straighten his coat and then walked past him. But not missing the chance to hit him accidentally with his shoulders.
Malfoy took a slight step back to keep his balance. And with his icy glare, he followed Sirius until he disappeared out of his sight. "Tsk. Mudblood lover," he muttered to himself, before he continued walking into the library.
* * * * *
There was really nothing else to do. They had already found the potion and at that point, all they were hoping for was that it would be enough as proof that Sirius didn't do anything wrong. Although everything seemed to be farfetched, Sirius was right, there was no choice but to believe it.
After his best friend left, James went ahead. He couldn't just wait in the library and do nothing. He needed to take a walk – just to think or to clear his mind.
He surfaced from their corner and was about to go out the door when he saw – who else but – Lucius Malfoy. He slowed down his pace to see if he was with Lily. He just realized that he suddenly missed her. He hadn't talked to her the whole day. Heck, he barely saw her that day. And he was sure that it wasn't just by chance, it was by choice – by Lily's choice.
So far, all he could see was Malfoy's back on him. Then, from slowing down, he had gone to a full stop. Something dreadful was just about to happen and he could feel it.
Malfoy was alone. Lily wasn't with him. And though the sight of it was like a breath of sanity – that Lily wasn't with Malfoy – he felt this would be a hard slap on the face.
He stared as a girl looked up from the book that she was reading – or pretending to read – and smiled. She stood up and walked toward Malfoy who looked like patiently waiting for her.
What the hell is this about? He thought to himself. He couldn't quite decipher who the girl was but he knew it definitely wasn't Lily.
His muscles felt like they froze from sudden shock when the girl reached for Malfoy and started fiddling with the collar of his shirt. This girl was flirting and it was apparently very much welcomed.
James wanted to look away but he couldn't get himself to turn the other way around like nothing was happening. And after another second, he wasn't sure, but he could swear the girl was about to kiss Malfoy. He could puke his guts out right then and there but the issue here was different. The bastard was cheating – that was the issue.
Without any hesitation, he stared harder like he was about to bore a hole in their heads. But instead of doing the dreadful deed, he realized that the girl only whispered something in Malfoy's ear. Then she took a small step back and looked up at him.
He almost lost his balance when he realized that the girl was gazing straight at him. But now that he could clearly see her, he finally recognized her face.
A girl from Slytherin.
Slytherins…
It was Narcissa.
Malfoy turned around to see who Narcissa was looking at. And what greeted him was James' angry glare. But, lo and behold, he didn't even show the slightest expression of guilt. He gestured Narcissa to stay put; and with all the arrogance on his face, he even managed to walk up to James with the nerve of looking straight into his eyes. "Potter," he hissed. "Are you going to create trouble?" he mocked.
James put his hands in his pocket. If he didn't have enough self-control, he would've knocked out Malfoy right then and there. "I'm onto you, Malfoy," he uttered threateningly.
Malfoy looked at James like he was talking to an unreasonable man. And then, with a roll of his eyes, he sneered ever so widely. "My pleasure!" he declared so confidently.
"What kind of crap are you playing?" James demanded getting infuriated by the minute. He caught Malfoy cheating and used it as a threat against him and all he could say was 'my pleasure?!'
But Malfoy just savored the moment because for him… "I have her dancing in the palm of my hands, Potter," he said. And both of them knew that he was talking about Lily. "She's not going to go anywhere. And definitely not to you," he snorted.
James blocked his way when Malfoy tried to walk past him. "If you hurt her—"
"I will never lay a hand on her, Potter," Malfoy said. And the tone of his voice, although full of deceit, was clear that he meant what he said – literally. "Never. Lay. A hand," he repeated. Then, with a snicker, he touched the back of his hand on James' arm to shove him aside – out of his way.
James shook Malfoy's touch off him. That was it. He had to do something. If it would mean something drastic.
* * * * *
James angrily walked down the hallways. It was annoying enough to look for someone who seemed to couldn't be found anywhere. It was very disturbingly maddening when he was all frantic.
And as he got nearer and nearer to the Slytherin tower, he finally found who he was looking for.
He grabbed Snape by his collar and pushed him against the wall.
Snape was apparently taken by surprise by this attack from out of nowhere. But he managed to keep his cool. He chuckled, with an amused expression on his face. "Potter, I don't do men—"
"Shut up!" James demanded. He wasn't there to play jokes. "I'm going to ask you one straight question and I want one straight answer."
"That's quite nice," Snape replied. "But I don't really entertain queries by persons who hang me against the wall."
James pushed him harder against the wall to further imply that he wasn't there to play games. "What do you know about the attack on Kiara? Who's behind it?"
Snape snorted like it was the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. "I believe that's between two promiscuous Gryffindors. I refuse to have anything to do with them."
James was getting frustrated. This Slytherin was definitely hiding something and he wasn't gonna go anywhere without getting answers. "You're lying!" he exclaimed.
Snape was getting upset himself. He really didn't appreciate being pushed to the wall against his will. "Get your filthy hands off me and you'll get answers!" he yelled. It wasn't a plea. It was an order.
But James wasn't really listening. "Let me put it this way…" he began. And with some stooping just to get what he wanted, he brought up the fact that he rescued him from plunging into his death when they were younger. "I saved your life once before—"
"I do not recall asking for you to do that."
"Answer me!"
"Why are you so interested?" Snape replied, instead. "This doesn't concern you."
"Yes. It does," James insisted.
"The world doesn't revolve around you, Potter. Get over yourself."
James finally got tired of it. Obviously, he wasn't getting anywhere with Snape. And partly, because he knew that on another time, maybe this really wouldn't concern him. So, he let Snape down but he was still utterly blocking his way.
Snape straightened his shirt and continued his little speech, "Unless it's starting to affect you… I suggest you do the same as I do – sit back and enjoy the show," and then he left.
James took a while before Snape's words sank in. He realized that he couldn't just watch everything unfold around him. It was affecting him… in a lot of ways. Maybe he couldn't figure out the very reason – or perhaps didn't want to admit it – but the situation was definitely upsetting him.
He was aware that his conclusions were biased. But it was better to be safe than sorry.
* * * * *
Sirius hurried into the common room. He was clutching the book in his hand as if he was afraid that somebody might just grab it away from him. He searched the whole room and found the person he was looking for sitting with her friends.
That was probably the hardest thing he had to do. Muster up his courage to face a group of people who didn't exactly think favorably of him.
And so, he took a deep breath and took his strides toward them – Lily, Kiara, Vince, and… Toni.
He was only half way to them when Vince saw him and stood up.
Vince's face looked like he was ready to attack, as he glared at Sirius threateningly.
"Toni, can I talk to you?" Sirius called. And although he felt their eyes boring on him, he kept his position.
Toni stood up and held Vince back. "It's okay," she said to him.
"I'm not going anywhere, if that's what you're saying," Vince replied through gritted teeth. And so, Toni let him stay standing behind her.
Sirius didn't want the agony to lengthen. He knew why he was there and he wasn't going to waste any more time. So, he held out the book he checked out from the library and said, "I have proof."
"A book?" Toni asked. Her eyes showed the hint of frustration she was feeling. She wanted Sirius to be innocent. But a book to prove it?
And although he read the expression on her face, Sirius opened the book to the page of the Polyjuice Potion and then handed it to her.
Toni read through the page as Sirius waited in complete anxiousness. But it didn't really do much. "I – I don't understand," she said, shaking her head.
"Toni, someone tried to frame me," Sirius explained.
"Wh-why? H-how?" Toni stammered, getting confused by the minute. She handed back the book and the puzzled expression on her face showed.
"I don't know why and I don't know how," Sirius confessed in a hopeless tone. "I don't know… All I know is this," he said, holding up the book.
Toni looked at him, expecting the answers, the truth, the way to trust him again. But with so many questions in her mind, she didn't know whether to believe him or not.
And Sirius knew it. He read it through her eyes. And it was hurting him that that was the best thing he could do – a book. "You don't believe me," he said, putting into words what Toni had in mind.
Toni opened her mouth and tried to say something. She wanted to say so many things. She wanted to say the words that could, for some reason, make him feel… not like this. Not miserable. But her mind just wouldn't let her form the words. And nothing came out.
Sirius took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling. He didn't know what to do. The person that he loved most was standing right in front of him and he couldn't even reach her. Maybe they were tears welling in his eyes but whatever it was, he didn't stick around for them to find out.
And without saying another word, or even taking another glance, he up and left the room hurriedly. It was too much to bear. She, the distance, the coldness, the winter in the well-warmed common room. There had to be some way. There just had to be.
* * * * *
James lay in his bed. It had been three hours since practically everyone in the whole of Hogwarts was dead to the world. He had been staring at the ceiling for the longest period of time having a hard time to create some sleep.
He sat up in his bed and looked around him.
Peter was already murmuring in his sleep.
While Remus seemed to need sleep most. He had been so incredibly tired lately.
And Sirius… he was cuddled up in his bed in a fetal position. It almost looked funny if his situation wasn't so tragic. And James would've laughed so hard like he never did before when he saw him trying to hide his eyes that were red and all blotched. Apparently, he was crying. It would've been classically hysterical.
But James knew better. He knew that Sirius had always the soft side but that was the first time the he had acted that way about losing someone. He couldn't understand that – feeling so miserable just because of a girl? Who could feel that bad? He had been in more than a couple of relationships and he never actually cried after a breakup… that… that, he swore, would never happen to him…
* * * * *
The second the professor uttered the words 'you may go,' James stood up and ran to the classroom next to his. The students were all rushing out of the classroom that his heart beat faster by the second; trying to find the person he was waiting for.
Yes, he was waiting for Lily. Lately, she had been very hard to find just to talk to. And that morning was all the same.
When the last student exited the room, he panicked. He stepped back and peered through the crowd all around him. And even with his tall stature, he craned his neck to cover as much area as he could. Where could she be?
He would've missed her if that fiery red hair didn't catch his eyes. He moved hurriedly through the crowd, squeezing himself between people. "Lily!" he yelled, calling her.
He didn't need to call again as Lily heard him calling. She turned around, finding the person who called her name. Then, she saw James emerged from the multitude of students in the hallway.
He greeted her with a weak smile. But it all faded just as sudden when he saw Lily crossed her arms – like she was shielding herself… from him.
"What is it?" she asked him.
James hesitated for a moment. Clearly, she wasn't comfortable being around him. She couldn't even look at him in the eye. "Can – can I talk to you?" he said, simultaneously trying to catch her gaze.
But Lily just looked down on the floor, or around, where she didn't have to look at him. "Uh, I have class and I've tons of homework to do… so—"
"Later after class," James insisted.
"But—"
"Please?" James interrupted again, as he clasped his hands together and practically begged.
Lily sighed audibly. James persistent was James never going to stop. "Fine," she replied with a shrug.
"Great," James breathed a sigh of relief. "Head Prefects Room. Later…" he trailed off when Malfoy suddenly appeared from behind him and stood himself beside Lily.
Malfoy impishly raised his eyebrows at James, matching a sly grin on his face. He was obviously enjoying the moment.
James glared at him. And glared at him harder – that Malfoy would've been swallowed in spontaneous combustion if only he had the ability to do so – when Malfoy put a hand on Lily's shoulder. He wanted to strangle him… but that would complicate things much more and, basically, he would be at the losing end knowing that evidences were weak.
He nodded at Lily to say bye and then intentionally bumping into Malfoy, he walked off.
* * * * *
James waited uneasily in the Head Prefects Room He had been waiting for five minutes but it seemed like he was walking back and forth in the middle of the room for hours.
Lily had not been in the room since their argument. And he was bothered by that fact. As much as he wanted to deny it, he missed her presence every time he entered the room. Now, when he entered, all that greeted him was the darkness and the hearth that would magically awake when someone came into the room. More so, it was bothering him to know that she was afraid of him. She didn't really admit it but he felt it.
After a few minutes, the door opened. He stopped pacing and looked at her. "Lily."
Lily closed the door and walked toward him. But still, she kept a safe distance between them. "So, why are we here?"
"Can't we just talk?" James replied casually. "I – I missed you," he added, trying to sound more casual.
Lily scratched her head and let out an audible sigh. "I'm fine. Thank you," she said, trying to imply that she didn't know where the conversation was going. Then, in the most sarcastic cheerful tone, she added, "Now, let's get to know you."
But James kept the serious look on his face. "I have questions," he said. "Or answers… or explanations."
"We all have questions, James," Lily replied. "I always wanted to know how big the universe is," she added, the sarcasm in her voice still apparent. She expected for James to make fun of her or to lighten up the mood.
But no.
He just looked at her with that frown on his face. And that was when she realized…
"Why do I get the feeling I won't like this?" she muttered, shaking her head slightly.
"Is there any chance…" he began, being a bit embarrassed on what he was about to say. "For Sirius and Toni to get back together?"
"You shouldn't be asking me that."
James took a deep breath. "He's a total wreck," he declared, as he took a seat in the couch. "We're still trying to prove our point." Then, with pleading eyes, he looked up at her and said, "Don't you think Dumbledore should've done a far worse punishment if he believes Sirius did it?"
Lily sighed as she took a seat on the coffee table in front of James. She didn't really wanna go back to that subject again but the consistency in their testimonies were becoming difficult to ignore. "Alright, James. Who did it?" she finally asked, looking at him expectedly.
"Someone… who's so angry with us… to get into trouble of brewing a potion that takes a month to make but only lasts for an hour?"
"I don't get it," Lily said, shaking her head in confusion. "Who would do that? And why Sirius? And why angry with you?"
"Sirius has always been the most mischievous one but he never means to hurt."
"I don't – still don't – Then who would do it?" Lily waited for an answer. A straight, serious answer. Then, she leaned back in utter disbelief and disagreement when James only gazed into her eyes to get his message across. "James, who are we talking about?"
No answer. At least no words came out of James' opened mouth. But he didn't really need to say the words. Lily understood what he was saying.
"Lucius." Lily muttered. She was hoping for James to say that she was wrong. But when he suddenly avoided her stare… "I don't believe this," she declared, as she stood up to try getting away from him.
"Lily," James called, following her. "Listen to me. What happened was not a joke. And Sirius is not going down for something that he didn't do," he said, his voice raising.
And the war of words began.
"So you opt to have Lucius take it instead," Lily did her conclusion.
"Well, it makes sense. He hates Sirius the worst. He's been threatening to get back at us and he has no class during our Charms—"
"James, you should hear yourself. You're being ridiculous and unreasonable."
"Well, you're being blind!" James burst out, practically yelling the words like the louder he said them, the quicker his words would sink in her head.
"And that's just about the most STUPID reason I've ever heard!" Lily yelled back. "James, what is so wrong with Lucius that you just hate him that much?" she demanded, trying to calm down.
"He's a Malfoy. The name speaks for itself. Tell me, has he ever taken notice of you? Even once? During theses past years?"
"What do you mean by that? You've never been so hard on my case until now."
James opened his mouth to speak but then, she was right. He would've just ignored the situation if it weren't Lily who came in classrooms and halls with Malfoy. Just what made her so visible to him? He couldn't really say. He didn't exactly know.
"What if… what if I tell you that I saw him with Narcissa?" he said, not really knowing where he was going.
"She's a friend of Lucius'. He told me himself. Even from the start."
"Lily, Slytherins don't have friends. They have allies!" James blurted out. And at that moment, he was cursing Malfoy in his thoughts. How could someone so… like Malfoy be trusted that much?
"James, stop it," Lily pleaded once, raising her hands in protest.
"He's cheating on you," James insisted, instead. The words tumbled out of his mouth so involuntarily that even he was surprised.
Lily was stunned. Her eyes grew wide as she looked at him. James thought that, finally he was able to pull a string to convince her. But then… her expression turned to utter exasperation. "James… why are you doing this? Are you… just deliberately… trying to hurt me?" she asked, her voice was choking and her eyes were starting to glisten with tears.
James didn't know why he said it. He wasn't even sure if Malfoy really was the one, but something told him, maybe he was right in some way. All he knew was that he wanted her to stay away from Malfoy. But at that very moment, he wanted to smack his head on the wall. He wanted her away from Malfoy… but what was his right? Why did he feel so strongly about it? And why, at that instant that Lily tried to hold back her tears, he felt like the biggest jerk in the world?
"I'm – I'm sorry…"
"You know what? Talk to me when you're back to your senses," Lily uttered so coldly. Then she took off.
Just like that.
And slammed the door behind her.
~*~*~*~
i'm willing to save you... -- five for fighting, "white picket fence"
i'm grateful for your apology... but it's a little too late cause you've already killed me... -- hungry young poets, "rebirth"
Okay, that's it and you're probably wanting to strangle me now because of all the amount of Malfoy and Lily in this chapter.
Isn't it obvious, James is falling and falling and falling and he still denies and denies and denies. He's trying to keep Lily close to him believing that he doesn't know the reason behind it all. But I know we know.
I'd probably put up the next chapter tomorrow or the day after that. I'm still trying to keep in schedule. Forgive me. I'm doing the best I can.
Ciao!
