I'm updating, again! Yay! (why am I happy? Don't know)

Anyway, a BIG thanks to all of my reviewers I love you guys, so"

HimaKerei: I do hope the wait wasn't too agonizing. If it was, my apologies. : )

Lady of the Lilacs: Nice name! And I'm glad you feel special. : ) I read that parody, didn't I? Do tell me if I didn't. The title would help to probably. Don't know.

Amber: You write in French too! Go us! Bless stupid French teachers! Lol. Don't worry. I plan to keep writing more and more and more and you get the idea. : )

Lonestar236: Thanks a LOT for the suggestions. I'll use them! In fact, I'm using the one in this chapter..sorta. Only I'm doing a different bear, but I'll do him later.don't worry. evil glint in eye

Sabriel: NOT pathetic/stupid? Yay! Thanks. I bet there's worse than Mrs. Coulter though. Like.uh..I don't know who from HDM but..in LOTR Aragorn is shudder 88. THAT'S ancient. Lol : )

Normal Human Being Refusing to Sign In Cos She's Lazy: No, there's NOT enough HDM parodies. And yes, I am using that idea because both you and Lonestar236 mentioned the bears. : ) I'm always open to suggestions!

Adelaide/Tans: Lyra and Will meeting for the first time...oooh, the things I could do with that..the things I WILL do with that...thanks!

Now, on with..Lyra and Iofur, stupid ugly annoying wants to be a human for some reason king of the bears.

Setting: Iofur's throne room containing only him and Lyra.

After all the bears leave Iofur asks, "Well?"

Lyra walks up to him, licks her lips seductively, and begins to speak so. "Oh, Iofur. I have waited so long to see you! But never did I imagine that you could look SO..sexy."

Iofur shifts uncomfortably, he likes this, but is having flashbacks of 'the lady Coulter'. "You said something about dæmons. Tell me!"

Lyra squeezes Pan in her pocket, hard. So hard, in fact, that it hurts her, and she begins to choke.

Iofur wonders what the hell this human is doing, and since he can figure out no other way to find out, asks her, "Human! What the hell are you doing?"

Lyra stops choking, although it took her 5 minutes to figure out that she was choking because of squeezing Pan, and looks up, surprised. "I didn't know bears swore"

Iofur is getting annoyed. He had always hated blonds, but this one was really annoying. Worse than that blond that traveled around with Xena.

Lyra realizes that she may have made a mistake. "It's just that, well, we've never sworn before, so I thought that no bears do"

This confuses Iofur. He wonders if she has a split personality. "We?"

Lyra wonders how such an idiot got to be king of the bears. She moves forward as if to kiss his paw, then holds back. "I am a dæmon, Queen Iofur. Iorek Byrnison's dæmon. Mrs. Coulter allowed one bear to have a dæmon. And- "

Iofur wonders how such an idiot contrived to come into HIS presence. And also why she said Queen Iofur. Did the bears operate on him and not tell him? And didn't Mrs. Coulter like him anymore? "I am KING Iofur, you retard. And.and..doesn't Mrs. Coulter sniffs like me sniffs anymore?"

"No. Duh. Dude, if she liked you, would she have given IOREK a dæmon? No. She woulda given YOU a dæmon. Stupid." Lyra told him. She wondered if all bears were this stupid.

Iofur's feelings are hurt, so he says, "Don't call me stupid! It's not nice!" He begins to cry. Some bears come in and lead Lyra to her cell with the insane professer. Lyra is beginning to think that she could learn a few things from him; it's insane people who have all the fun after all.

When Iorek Byrnison approaches Svalbard, the bears, apparently, ARE all as stupid as Iofur, and don't pay attention. He breaks in, and then, because bears ARE so stupid, wonders what to do. Should he get a manicure or a hair wash first? After a couple of hours he decides on the manicure; Iofur's nails looked pretty nifty.

Dat all. I bet my last chapters were better, but whatever. And do me a BIG favor and when you review (cause you gotta review or you'll make me sad) tell me if you like this format or script format better, cause this was an experiment. See ya!

There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. There's the button. Push it. Write something to me. Ok I'm done now. But PLEASE do! : )