Yes it's short. Screw you :P

Big Daddy Pikachu And His Human Bitches

'It is a gloriously sunny day. Trainer Pikachu Hittem is on his way to Rattata City with his faithful Humon Ash, on his shoulder. But he is once again, distracted by a battle.'

"Hey you!" cries Meowth. "Let's battle!" Pikachu agrees. "We can take him, can't we Ash?"

"Ash!" replies the little idiot. Pikachu reaches for one of his HomoBalls. (as in homo sapiens…getcha minds outa da gutta!). "Go, my water-bitch!" Misty, a water-type Humon, is a fierce battler. But she is weak against young, spiky haired, Humon boys. Meowth doesn't have an Ash. So he uses the next best thing. "Go, Richie!"

                "Nooooo!" Pikachu cries.

                "Richie, use Mimic, den finish off wit' ya Annoying Attack."

                "Richie!" The evil creature leaps at Misty. Misty is horrified at the annoying boy who looks exactly like Ash. "Misty!" Pikachu calls her back. "Go, bitch…I mean, Brock. Use your Squint Attack." Meowth calls back Richie and lets loose…Jesse! Jesse uses her Hair Whip attack. Brock is out! "Go, my bitch-ass Ash!" Pikachu's pokémon bitch, Chikorita, asks, "Is that wise? Ash's only attack is Confusion." Pikachu agrees that Ash is dumb. But he's willing to give him a chance. "Ash!" cries the brave, but freakishly stupid, Ash. Meowth howls with laughter. "Is dat da best ya can do?"  The Ash stands its ground. "OK," says Meowth, "Den I choose, James."

"James a roguishly handsome Humon," says Pikachu's HomoDex. "It uses the attack Transform to become a female and confuse its enemy."

"But Ash is confused already!" Pikachu gasps. "If he becomes too confused, he might evolve." And so Ash does evolve. Into…a Samuel!

HomoDex explains, "The full term for this Humon, is Professor Samuel Oak. Humon scientists shortened this name to Samuel."

                "Dere is only one way ta stop a Samuel," says Meowth. He nods to his James.

"James!" he says and he transforms into Deliah Ketchum! "Deliah," James purrs seductively to Samuel. Samuel is too much of a perverted man to resist. Meowth orders James-Deliah to use the Lovely Kiss attack. "No, my poor bitch!" shouts Pikachu. It is too late. Samuel is out of the battle. Pikachu now has to choose wisely. His friends/bitches Chikorita and Cyndaquil wait patiently for his decision. If he chooses wrong, Meowth will win. "I choose bitch…Tracey!" Meowth is taken aback. Pikachu grins evilly. "Tracey, use Body Slam." The Tracey jiggles its fat as it bounces up and down squealing, "Tracey!"

                "Are you troying ta kill my Humon! Tracey will crush evry bone in its body!" But before Tracey can attack, Officer Jiggly arrives. She puffs out her cheeks and orders everyone to leave the area, or else she'll draw on their faces. With permanent ink! She explains that this is a Humon Reserve called Prison. Here, Humons are cared for, fed and given televisions to prevent them from becoming restless. "Take your Humons for treatment at the Humon Centre down the road, called A and E. Nurse Togepi will 'take care' of them."

                "Yes, Officer Jiggly," they chorus. Pikachu and Meowth agree to battle only in the leagues. All 495 of them.

Moral learnt: No matter what way you look at Pokémon…it's one fucked up place!"