YES!  EXAMS ARE OVER AND I CAN… um… do stuff that doesn't pertain to school. 

Anyway… here's the next part of Claidi's madness.

Again I say I do not own anything.  My father reminds me of this fact daily.  It's in the vault.

Claidi powdered her hair, coming to a sudden and ingenious plan.  It was rare for her to think, it usually gave her a headache but this time… oh, it came together so beautifully.  She powdered her hair with the ugly powder-stuff and dressed in a dress of a similar color.  She grinned manically at Pattoo and Daisy, who were now very afraid.  They didn't know why but Claidi frightened them now. 

Very soon Claidi would frighten everyone.  Pattoo and Daisy being the least of them.

"GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS UP HERE!"  A shrill voice summoned.

"Ah!  We must hearken to the cry of Lady Jade Leaf!"  Claidi said in mock sweetness. 

"Um… if you don't feel well…."  Daisy attempted.  She was fearful for Lady Jade Leaf, who probably deserved whatever was coming to her but if Claidi was going as mad as she seemed….

"I'm perfectly fine."  Claidi said smoothly.  Pattoo wasn't convinced and neither was Daisy but they shrugged and walked down the hall to Lady Jade Leaf's room. 

"You took your time!"  The ugly prat snapped.

"It is ours to take."  Claidi laughed. 

Lady Jade Leaf gaped.

"But that is a very ugly look for you.  It doesn't matter I suppose, you are unattractive all over."

"HOW DARE YOU!"  And she attempted to slap Claidi.

Bad, bad move.

"I AM A HUMAN WEAPON!  HIIIIII-YAHHHHH!"  She flayed Lady Jade Leaf to within an inch of her life.  Claidi surveyed the damage done to her former mistress.  "I hope those black eyes don't effect you in courting Lord Purple Toad."

"HIS *gasp* NAME *gasp* IS *pant* LORD VIOLET FROG!"  And Lady Jade Leaf pounced on Claidi, suddenly possessing a kind of energy never seen in proper ladies.  Pattoo and Daisy were frightened and stood uselessly off to the side.

"HAG!"

"CRONE!"

"BIATCH!"

"FROG-FACE!"

"UGLY CLAIDI-BAA-BAA!"

"What?"  Claidi stopped pulling Lady Jade Leaf's hair.  "How did you know about that name?"

"I MADE IT UP!  You're about as stupid is a baa-ing baa-er."

"They're called sheep, you nincompoop."

"Oh!  MOMMY!!"

Then she-who-must-not-be-named-because-the-author-is-too-lazy-to-look-up-the-name came into the room, looking irritably at her daughter.

"JADE!"  She lost composure.  "What are you doing??"

"I was fighting with Claidi because…."  Then she pointed a finger at Claidi.  "SHE STARTED IT!"

"You're a serving girl!  How dare you raise a finger to my daughter?"

"She's a dingbat who desperately needs a lesson, speaking of which…."  Claidi quickly stood and delivered a quick punch to she-who-must-not-be-named-because-the-author-is-too-lazy-to-look-up-the-name.  Both ladies then fainted.  It was quite amusing for Claidi.

"With these powers… I COULD TAKE OVER THE HOUSE!! MUAHAHHAHA!"

"Ahh!"  Daisy backed into the wall and Pattoo smashed into a vase.

"Don't worry my furry companions."  She said reassuringly to Pattoo and Daisy.

"Furry?"  Pattoo squeaked.  "I… am really freaked out now." 

Claidi began singing a Hulta song that went like this:

                                                    Hidjj bibblooo dooogeee sma

                                                     YAKKA YAKKA WOO!

                                                    Arkdy Chura moofooo moogle

                                                      YAKKA YAKKA WOO!

                                                    Diddle diddle dumplings yoodle hey!

                                                       YAKKA YAKKA WOO!

Which literally translates into a load of nonsense but for the sake of Claidi the Hulta had made up some cock-and-bull lyrics that were in her native language.

This is what Claidi thought she was singing:

                                                     I'm going to kick your butts

                                                     WATCH ME WATCH ME WOO!

                                                     My dear you will fall down

                                                     WATCH ME WATCH ME WOO!

                                                     Bet you didn't count on that hey!

                                                      WATCH ME WATCH ME WOO!

What she was actually saying:

                                                     A pillow nicknamed cheese

                                                     FALL DOWN FALL DOWN WOO!

                                                     Ran into a dear porpoise today on last week

                                                     FALL DOWN FALL DOWN WOO!

                                                     Ate a fresh rhino blue toe

                                                     FALL DOWN FALL DOWN WOO!

A traditional five-year-old song.  Dagger wrote it and was so humiliated that she sang the other version whenever someone made fun of her.  Then she took out a dagger and scared the crap out of them. 

So, while Claidi sang nonsense she remembered that she had a bazooka in her pocket and began to pull it out.   Yin had taught her how to pull bazookas out of her pocket whenever she needed one.  Now she was an expert and it was time to go get some serious revenge. 

                                      Five Days Later

"AHAHHAAA!"  Claidi laughed to herself as she took out the atomic bombs.  "WATCH ME!"

"No Claidi!  No!"  The Hulta cried out as one. 

"That's what you get for being STUPID IN THE THIRD BOOK!"  Claidi pushed a button.  "Oops."

                                    And the whole world exploded.

                                                     The End.                           

(A/N: Okay, I got bored and ran out of insanity juice.  I hope you had fun and didn't get too freaked.  Keep in mind that I just finished regents.  Urgh, anything but….)