The New Kid

Summary: Hogwarts is a great school with really smart teachers and respecting students. That is, until an american named Melony arrives, ruining the place with her down-to-earth, but sometimes depressing point of view on things.

Disclaimer: I can't think of anything funny now, so, I own nothing, JK Rowling owns the world!

(I am writing this in what everyone thinks is scriptform. Real script form is quite hard to write though interesting to read. How do I know this? Because I am studying screenwriting for the semester, so HA!)(Oh, and sorry if I am stealing your idea, tpaca. But writer's block is kicking my arse big time, so...)

Episode 7: Stutters and Mid-Terms

*On the other side of the forest, at Unicorn's Mental Therapy*

Hermione: Dra-co!

*Hermione giggles, deciding to mess with his insane mind*

Hermione: Well, Malfoy, at least mudbloods are sane, now aren't they?

*Hermione giggles more, but then re-obtains her posture when she realises she is the only one that finds it funny. Draco looks out the window, like a dog who heard a noise outside a window. He notices Melony and runs out the door*

Draco: MY PRECIOUS!

*Golem runs out the door behind him, and begins jumping around*

Golem: THAT'S MY LINE! THAT'S MY LINE!

*A doctor comes up behind him and puts him in a pretty white jacket that makes him unable to move. Now that I've gotten that out of my system, as Draco approaches Melony, Lavendar steps in front of him, and does a spell so that he has forgotten about the lunar sighting*

Draco: WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WAS I DOING IN A MENTAL INSTITUTE? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A BBQ POLE?

Melony: Um...You had a bad dream that you couldn't forget, and...um...er...I was put on here by an angry wolfman. Hermione, can you untie me please? I have to get to detention; more hippogriff dropping to shovel...

*Hermione unties her, and she runs off. Detention was very bad, since she was the only one in detention. By the time she finished, she couldn't go to sleep, due to Hermione insisting on helping her with Mid-Term studies. Fast forward to breakfast*

Melony: Hermione, I already heard that this year's Mid-Terms are just going to be essays about what we've learn, due to first years constantly blowing up the cauldrons! And they don't start for two weeks!

*Melony nearly falls into her mush*

Hermione: Well, you need to know what you are going to be writing, don't you?

Melony: I was thinking I'd kiss behind and write a biography for each teacher I have.

Hermione: Except for Snape right?

Melony: Who I will be writing how to make the Polyjuice Potion to.

Hermione: P-P-P-POLYJUICE?

Melony: Yea, I know it is something you don't learn until seventh year, so I thought it would be very helpful.

Hermione: R-R-R-RESTRICTED!

Melony: Oh, I saved up for an invisible cloak!

Hermione: How much was it?

Melony: Oh, I'm going to buy it at Hogsmeade.

Hermione: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HOGSMEADE?

Melony: Heh, I, err, heh, read a, heh heh, certain diary.

Hermione: OH MY GOD! THAT MEANS...YOU...KNOW...A...R...

Melony: Calm down, I only the page where you said you, Ron, and Harry were going to go to Hogsmeade on Saturday.

Hermione: Oh.

*a pause of sound*

Melony: And the one that said you tried to kiss-

Hermione: Shut up and I'll buy the cloak for you!

Melony: DEAL!

*Melony thinks, 'I am so glad Ron told me about Hogsmeade, so I could use that you tried to kiss someone trick!'*

*Two weeks later...The trip to Hogsmeade was great! Mel tried some rubber, raspberry, and gingerbread Bernie Bott's and butterbeer. And Hermione bought her the cloak, although Melony told her after she bought it that she just tricked her. And yes, she did use it to get into the restricted section to learn how to make Polyjuice. It is the day after Mid-Terms, and the grades have been posted*

Melony: Let's see A, A, A, A, A, A+! I even got Snape's good side!

Ron and Harry: Show-off!

Hermione: Well, I got all As!

Ron: Hermione, quit while your ahead! We already know that you are master of all you survey, ok?

*Hermione smiles semi-evilly*

Melony: Yay, now that winter vacation is almost here, maybe some interesting things will happen other than me getting detention *stares at a certain writer*

A/N Will the writer think of some interesting things to happen over winter holiday? Will Draco remember what he saw? Will someone get sick of these cliffhangers? Find out in Episode Eight: Holidays and Dances !