Chapter 15 – Old Wounds

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Late autumn sunlight bathed the grounds of Hogwarts as Harry, Ron and Hermione walked over the sloping lawns towards Hagrid's hut. 

Harry had told both his friends about his previous night's adventures earlier that morning, including his worry over his godfather.  Hermione, after frowning over Harry's description of Dumbledore trusting something as wooly and unreliable as a Seer, offered him a simple solution: ask Hagrid. 

The entire school seemed alive with the upcoming Christmas holiday; all the students anxious to go home and enjoy a few school free weeks.  Harry, of course, would remain at Hogwarts and Sirius promised to spend most of the holiday in the castle with him.  Without the lure of the Yule Ball to hold them, the vast majority of the students were returning home for the holiday, making it at least somewhat safe for Sirius to be in the castle and stay undetected.

Unfortunately Professor Myfanwy would also be staying, something that made Sirius extremely edgy and Harry was determined to find out why.  Hagrid, of course, knew both Professor Myfanwy and Sirius.  Hermione tactfully didn't mention that Hagrid also had a habit of revealing more than was prudent.  Ron had no such scruples and thought Hermione's idea brilliant.  Harry owled Hagrid immediately and received permission to visit.

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When they knocked on the door of the gamekeeper's hut Hagrid beamed, ushering them inside and offering them all cups of tea and a plate of his rock cakes.  The tea they accepted, but politely refused the rock cakes, which really were hard as rocks.

"So – yeh wanted to ask me somethin'?"

Harry nodded.  There was no point in beating around the bush.  "Is there something wrong between Professor Myfanwy and Sirius?"

"Oh I don' doubt it."  Hagrid nodded.  "Some hurts don' heal well at all, Harry."

"I know he and Professor Myfanwy were friends once."  Harry pressed hopefully, throwing a triumphant look at Ron and Hermione.

"Friends, eh?  Is that what they told ya?"

"Weren't they?"  Harry asked, puzzled.  "They seemed to know each other pretty well."

"Oh, they was friends alright, Harry."  Hagrid assured him.  "In fact, they was engaged."  Harry felt like a lightning bolt of shock tore its way through him at the revelation.  Engaged?  He choked back an avalanche of questions, promising himself to bring them up with Sirius at the next opportunity, and asked Hagrid only the most obvious one.

"What happened?"

"She threw a cauldron at my head."  Sirius chuckled from the doorway.  Harry jumped and turned to see his godfather leaning casually against the closed door of Hagrid's cabin.

"Now, Sirius, I don't think Rowan meant to hit you with that cauldron."  Hagrid smiled, gesturing the new guest into an oversized chair.  "Tea?  Or something a mite stronger?"

"Tea, thanks.  And you're probably right, her aim is much better than that."  Sirius agreed.  Harry glanced over at Hermione and Ron to see them goggling at Sirius' casual appearance.

"What brings you out here, Sirius?"  Hagrid asked as he handed Sirius a mug of tea.  "An' in broad daylight?"

"Moody's having a bit of trouble with your new pets."  Harry perked up at this and exchanged worried looks with Hermione and Ron, wondering what new horror Hagrid had befriended.

"Ah, they're probably just cranky.  Don' like bein' cooped up an' all."  Hagrid set his own mug in the sink and went to gather up his huge moleskin coat.  "You see the kids back up to the castle, Sirius, an' I'll go see what's got into them."

"Sirius . . ." Hermione began.   Sirius grinned at her before transforming into Padfoot with a faint POP and nudging Hagrid's door open with his nose.

Hagrid and Fang disappeared into the Forest behind them as Padfoot led the way back to the castle.

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"You two go on ahead.  I need to talk to Snuffles."  Harry told the other two as they reached the doors, while firmly planting a hand on Padfoot's shaggy head.  Ron and Hermione shot him looks that clearly said 'tell us everything later!' before saying goodbye and entering the castle.

Harry turned and started purposefully towards the darkness of the Forest.  Padfoot barked sharply at him and Harry turned. 

"I'm going into the Forest.  Follow if you want."  Padfoot growled warningly but Harry shook his head.  "I'm tired of everyone treating me like a child."  He said, crossing his arms stubbornly.  "I want . . . no I need to know what's happening."

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Once under the cover of the trees and well out of sight of Hogwarts Padfoot plunged into the foliage beside the track they followed and led Harry deeper into the Forest.  After several minutes of forging through brush they emerged in a small clearing with a mossy cave on one side and several small boulders strewn about.  Padfoot carefully checked the clearing before he returned to his human form with a faint POP and settling himself of a convenient boulder.

Sirius wasn't talking and Harry realized he would have to make the first move.

"You still love her don't you?"

Sirius groaned and buried his face in his hands.  "This would certainly be much easier if I didn't."

"Have you told her?" 

Sirius spread his hands helplessly and smiled wryly.  "She's avoided me for months now.  I'm starting to think I'll need a net to catch the wind."  He sighed.  "Besides, the question isn't 'do I still love her'; it's 'do I have any right to'?"

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