Chapter 20 – Sweet Surrender
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SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Dumbledore mulled silently
over everything they'd told him, his blue eyes grave at the possible
implications. "You're absolutely sure they weren't simply attacking the smell
of human flesh, Rowan?" He asked finally.
"I'm not human, Headmaster." Rowan pointed out coolly,
curling up even farther into her large armchair and pulling her knees to her
chest in thought.
"But Mr. Potter is." Dumbledore commented.
"Potter, by all accounts was sitting in the middle of a
field of wolfsbane at the time." Snape pointed out, casting a subtle glare
towards Moony, who lay across the doorway. "It's doubtful the beasts could even
smell him."
"Then they were sent intentionally after Harry." Sirius
concluded darkly before glancing toward his one time fiancée. "Or Rowan. How
much does Voldemort know?"
"Anything Peter knows, I'd imagine." She snapped bitterly.
"And if he didn't know before that he
suspected it."
"And Wormtail knows a hell of a lot more than he needs to,
doesn't he?" Sirius bit out, not so subtly bringing up the letters she'd
received from the little rat.
"Which means Voldemort is doing everything in his power to
neutralize the threat of the Vox Veritas Argentum as well as the last Potter."
Dumbledore finished for them, his voice intruding and soothing the blossoming
argument. Sirius and Rowan both dropped their eyes like a pair of chastised
children.
Snape's mouth twisted into a mocking sneer at their reaction
before he added a comment of his own. "As entertaining as watching infighting
among the troublemakers is, how many more are to be sacrificed to your combined
pride?"
"Severus!" Dumbledore's voice cracked warningly at the
Potions Master. Severus smirked triumphantly at the three pairs of eyes glaring
at him before apologizing to the Headmaster. Dumbledore accepted and made a
decision. "Rowan, Sirius, Remus, I'm extending our agreement and asking that
neither you, Rowan, nor Harry Potter leave the grounds for the remainder of the
term."
Rowan shook her head. "Are you sure?" She asked. "I feel
like my skills are being wasted. Perhaps if I . . ."
"As useful as you are to our side, Rowan, you could be even
more useful to Voldemort." Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Despite our best efforts
he''s growing stronger. I will owl your Grandfather immediately, Rowan, and
advise him to keep a closer watch on Morgaine and Ger. We can't afford
Voldemort gaining a Seer or our loosing one."
Rowan paled at the thought of losing even more people to the
Dark Lord, but managed a weak nod. Sirius's fists clenched in frustration. He
didn't have any right to simply cross the three steps separating them and
comfort her when she obviously needed it, but he bloody well felt like he
should!
Dumbledore noticed as well and smiled sympathetically at
them both before he stood. "It's late, and hardly the time for more public
conferences." He purposefully caught Sirius's eye and raised an eyebrow.
"I'll be going then." Rowan stood, stepping carefully over
the werewolf guarding the door. "See you at breakfast, Moony."
Sirius reached out immediately and gently caught her arm. "You said later." He
noted firmly. "It's later."
Rowan blinked, looking down at his hand, which was still
wrapped securely around her wrist. "It's the middle of the night!"
"Rowan, please? We need to talk." Sirius's voice took on a
note of pleading and he looked very hard into her eyes. The fear apparent there
tore at him, but he didn't release her. "Now." Her accustomed impartial façade
quickly masked that momentary glimpse of emotion. She slowly nodded and he
released her.
"My office then?" She asked. Sirius nodded silent agreement. Snape grumbled something nasty-sounding under his breath before pushing past them. Moony stepped lightly to the side and settled down on his haunches next to Dumbledore. Neither spoke as they wound their way through the ancient stone halls of Hogwarts.
~*~
Orion woke up from his nap on the desk chair as the pair
entered the study. The cat grumbled and glared affrontedly as Rowan scooped him
out of the chair and absently began stroking him. Touches of Rowan's unique
style of décor touched every element of the room. Sirius even recognized some
of the objects from his past visits to her home in Wales.
In fact, she decorated her office much like she decorated
her school dorm so long ago. Rowan had been the only witch he'd ever known to
haul a beanbag chair with her to school. (The better to study alone in and she
was often alone. On the other hand, later in her Hogwarts years, Sirius hazily
recalled a few not-so-alone moments in that beanbag chair as well.) With a
small grin, Sirius decided to see how little Rowan Myfanwy had changed in the
last twenty years.
"What are you rooting around for, Sirius?" Rowan finally demanded
after watching him for several minutes.
"Your toffee stash. You always have something sweet hidden
away." He replied, still intent on his search. Rowan waved at the small crystal
bowl perched on her desk.
"Help yourself. I'm not exactly hiding it."
"That," he pointed at the bowl, "is not your stash, Rowan. I
know you better than that. That's a false sacrifice and the Weasley twins
probably gave it to you. The good stuff is hidden somewhere else." He grinned
roguishly at her before continuing his hunt. Rowan rolled her eyes but she
levered herself out of her chair, dropping Orion on the floor, and walked over
to the fireplace, opened a tall decorative urn that stood to one side and
ferreted through it for a moment. She came up with a strip of lemon drops, a
sugar quill and a wrapped chocolate orange. She tossed the orange to Sirius,
which he caught deftly.
"Chocolate isn't good for dogs, you know." She told him as
she peeled a lemon drop off for herself. The faint ghost of an amused smile
tugged at one corner of her lips.
"So, you developed the Wolfsbane Potion," Sirius commented,
stretching out comfortably on the hearthrug with his chocolate orange. Rowan
blinked, obviously thrown by his choice of conversation topic. Her work? They
hadn't spoken in over fifteen years and he wanted to talk about her work? She
didn't know whether to be amused, irritated or disappointed. She settled on
nodding and settling into a low chair.
Sirius followed her movements intently with his eyes. Rowan
refused to meet his eyes, choosing to stare at points above or to the side of
his face. "You haven't hounded me for three days to talk about my work."
"No, I didn't," he nodded, a small smile threatening to
creep over his lips at her obvious discomfort. Strangely, she found she
couldn't look at him.
"Why did you then?"
Sirius stared into the fire for a few moments. "I'm not
really sure." He finally answered. "We do need to talk, Rowan."
"What's there to discuss?" She challenged. Sirius abruptly
rolled to his feet and started pacing agitatedly.
"Harry. Voldemort. Us. I don't know! Come on, Rowan, we're
fighting on the same side here!"
"You didn't go to this much trouble to talk to me about the war." Rowan pointed
out, eyes narrowing. "Or Harry. And our mutual allegiance doesn't require
private meetings without Dumbledore's consent."
"I didn't mean it that way," Sirius said, haunted eyes
intense. "I meant we shouldn't be fighting."
Rowan lowered her eyes further, staring at her hands. His
tense fists unclenched. "I'm sorry."
She nodded. "So am I, Sirius."
"You've spoken with Remus. You know what happened that
night. And in the Shrieking Shack." Sirius ran a frustrated hand through his
hair. "That ghastly row we had that last night. Lord but that haunts me,
Rowan."
Her continued stony silence unnerved him and Sirius opened his mouth to break
the tension. "Don't!" Rowan warned him. "I don't want to hear
whatever explanation you might have. That's always been your problem, you leap
in before you even think about the consequences."
Sirius' face contorted briefly in guilt. "I had to go
after Wormtail, no one else knew the truth!"
"How hard would it have been for you to Apparate to my house
or send an owl? I would've even settled for a bloody Howler! Good stars,
Padfoot, even a passing grindylow could have given me a message!"
Sirius blinked in surprise before he slowly smiled in
satisfaction. "That's the Rowan I know. The one that never hesitated to tell me
when I was being an idiot." Sirius stepped closer, his eyes dark.
Rowan stepped back. "But you never stop to think, do
you Sirius?" Her voice grew rougher. "Do you know how hard it was for
me to have Dumbledore tell me that you were being taken to Azkaban? I thought
you would have easily died rather than betray Lily and James.
"That's how it looked! You'd sided with Voldemort. He'd
wiped out all the Potters and all but two of my family! And we had to accept
that!"
Sirius winced at the pain that flowed over Rowan's face.
"I'm sorry Rowan. I thought about it too. If I could take away the pain I
caused you I would, but I can't." He looked down at his feet then back up.
He focused on her pale blue eyes, now smoldering with
contained anger and an almost forgotten emotion. "You know? There's
something I've waited fourteen years to tell you." He spoke quietly,
locking his hands around her shoulders.
Rowan hardly had time to gasp before his lips claimed hers,
drawing her carefully into a slow, warm kiss that quickly morphed and deepened
with fifteen years of pent up passion as Sirius threaded his fingers through
her hair. He broke the kiss gently, whispering, "I love you," softly
against her mouth before releasing her. Rowan's eyes dropped to the hearthrug,
clouding with confusion, but she didn't move further than to wrap her hands
over where his had just been. She glanced back up at him, unsure of what to
say.
"Sirius . . ."
"Almost fifteen years," he growled, cutting off any
chance at denial. "That is too bloody long if you ask me." Sirius settled his
hands firmly on her shoulders again; afraid she'd bolt again. "What are we
waiting for Rowan?"
"Let me go, please," she whispered, refusing to face him as
a tear slipped down her cheek. Sirius kept his voice very calm as he responded.
"If I do, will you bolt again and avoid me like you've been doing for the past three days?"
'Not a bad idea,' she thought dryly, suddenly desperately
missing the ability to Apparate. She was terrified, crying and wanted more than
anything . . . well, she wasn't quite sure what she wanted right then. Sirius
reached up and gently wiped the tears away. "Don't," he asked. "Please, Rowan.
I spent twelve years in Azkaban watching you cry. I'd rather not watch any
more."
Rowan squeezed her eyes together and took a steadying breath. Sirius visibly
held himself in check. He didn't want to push her, but what was taking so
bloody long?
"I need to think," she finally admitted.
Sirius' face broke into a smile. "You, Rowan Myfanwy,
think too much." He chuckled, running a gentle finger along her jaw. Rowan
looked up, startled, and involuntarily trembling at the touch.
"I . . ." The words were cut off as Sirius caught
her lips in another soul-stealing kiss. "Stop that!"" Rowan finally gasped,
struggling slightly against his hold. Sirius released her fully this time. She
stepped back and straightened her robes primly; annoyed at their wrinkled
appearance. She didn't say anything or even move for a long moment. The silence
extended and Sirius started worrying. Silence, like the eye of a storm, never
boded well with Rowan's temper. Sirius swallowed heavily as he suddenly found
himself staring down the polished length of Rowan Myfanwy's wand and decided he
absolutely hated how quickly she could draw it.
He only dimly remembered the wand that rested in his own
robe pocket and vividly recalled her prowess in dueling. Rowan's icy blue-fire
eyes locked his attention exclusively.
"You, Sirius Black," She advanced slowly and inexorably,
forcing him back step by step. "are playing a very dangerous game." Sirius
yelped as he felt cold stone press against his back.
He felt precisely like one of Orion's catnip mousies;
trapped, and at the mercy of a very devious predator. "Rowan, shouldn't
you . . ."" She advanced again, and Sirius retreated, knocking the large urn
next to the hearth over with a frantic clang. Sugar quills, chocolate, and
several sherbet balls rolled across the floor. Sirius winced, but didn't dare
look away to check the damage. Rowan herself barely spared the cascade a glance.
Stepping back once more Sirius stumbled, his foot catching
on the hearthrug, and sprawled to the floor, landing heavily on the edge of the
beanbag chair. A small, catlike smile touched Rowan's lips. She pressed him
further, dropping to one knee beside his prone form with one arm supporting her
and the other firmly pressing the tip of her wand into his chest. Sirius edged
away as far from the wand as he could and managed to securely mire himself in
the oversized beanbag chair.
He suddenly rocked back even further as Rowan's hand
flattened across his chest, trapping the smooth length of the wand between
them, and kissed him deeply. Sirius, caught off guard, froze momentarily before
responding. He growled slightly, irritated and delighted before pulling her
closer and deeper into the kiss.
"This is not, exactly, how I imagined my night
ending." Rowan laughed softly, laying her head against his chest. Sirius
smiled and pulled her closer, kissing her hair fondly. This, he thought, was
almost exactly how he'd hoped this night to end.
"Stay with me." He requested.
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