Battle City-Bound
Chapter 2: It All Begins
The man was dressed in a snazzy white coat. Something hung around his neck. At first glance, it was a Duel Monster card. But upon closer inspection, it was a locket for a picture. He had well combed brown hair. He also had a device on his wrist.
He opened his mouth to speak.
"This is a private product testing!" she shouted. "How'd you get in here?"
His voice was hard and demanding.
Poo stood up from the wreckage, and placed his hand on the man's head. He turned out to be no older than himself. But he was raised in an orphanage. He eventually became adopted, along with his brother, through a game of chess. After a rather unusual accident, the man before them became the head of the company his father owned. Poo searched his mind for a name, and he found it: Seto Kaiba.
Poo took his hand off Mr. Kaiba's head.
(He's currently the odd type,) thought Seto.
Jeff got up the nerve to speak. "I was testing the Phase Distorter. It's a machine that my father and I designed to allow people to travel through time and space. It must've malfunctioned."
Jeff then looked around, "…And it doesn't look like the Phase Distorter isn't the only thing in a state of repairs."
"You mean the duel robot?" said Seto.
"So that's what it is!" said Jeff. "I could fix this in a jiff, if you want. I just need the schematics."
"I'm not sure I should leave fixing a complicated piece of machinery to a little kid like you," said Seto.
"Wise choice," said Ness. "I asked him to fix my TV once, and he built in a self-destruct feature!"
"Did it work?" asked Paula.
"Yeah," said Ness. "But I did blow up the house once. Had to fix the entire thing. Real painful work."
Seto looked back to Jeff, and handed him a floppy disk. "Don't add anything fancy," he said.
Jeff took out his toolbox and his laptop. He took Seto's disk. "I'll be done in 2 hours, tops."
Jeff went to work, repairing the robot while looking at the schematics. He finished in 90 minutes. Then he hit a button and the top half blew up. He repaired that in 20 minutes. And removed his explosives in 10.
"Now, to test," said Jeff. His laptop was plugged in. He hit a few keys, and the duel robot booted up.
"PREPARED FOR TESTING OF DUEL DISK," said the robot. "SCANNING PREVIOUS ALGORITHMS. TEST COMPLETED. AWAITING FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
(Not bad,) thought Kaiba. (Not bad at all.)
"Hmm, I just thought up a good idea," said Kaiba. "I'm going to host a tournament soon. A Duel Monsters tournament. I'm sure you've at least heard of the game."
"Of course I have," said Poo. He opened his robe, revealing several stacks of cards. "Does it matter which deck I use? Exodia? Destiny Board? Final Countdown to the End? My special beat-down blend?"
"Thanks for telling me your strategies!" said Jeff.
"It doesn't matter," said Kaiba. "But you must first prove your dueling skills against my Duel Robot!"
"Another question," said Poo. "I'm guessing the deck we use against the robot determines what deck we use in this tournament."
Kaiba sighed. "Yes," he said.
"Give me the equipment, and prep the machine!" instructed Poo. "I'm going up first."
"If there's forms to fill out," said Ness, "Jeff will do it."
"HEY!" he shouted.
It wasn't long until Poo had the device on his wrist. Just by looking at it, he guessed how to do it: monsters on top, magic and traps in the slots. He shuffled his deck.
"BEGINNING DUEL ALGORITHM," said the Duel Robot, announcing his moves. "RANDOMIZING CARDS. DRAWING OPENING HAND OF 5 CARDS. DRAW PHASE: DRAW CARD. MAIN PHASE: ANALYZING POSSIBLE MOVES. SET 1 MONSTER IN DEFENSE. SET 2 CARDS FACE DOWN. END PHASE: END TURN."
Poo looked at his opening hand. He smiled. He could use his Nobleman of Crossout card to get rid of the set monster, but he thought it could be something that'd work to his advantage.
He drew. Neo the Magic Swordsman. Not a bad start. Then he saw one of his 3 Gemini Elves in hand.
(I've fallen for the Cyber Jar ploy too many times,) thought Poo. (Neo is worth the risk, though.)
He slapped down Neo onto the top of the machine.
"I summon NEO THE MAGIC SWORDSMAN!" he declared. "NEO! ATTACK!"
The hologram of the depicted monster shot forth and struck the hologram of the face down card. Then the card revealed itself.
"Cyber Jar?" said Poo. "I knew it!"
"CYBER JAR EFFECT 1: DESTORY ALL MONSTERS ON THE FIELD," said the duel robot. "CYBER JAR EFFECT 2: DRAW 5 CARDS AND REVEAL THEM. ALL MONSTERS, LEVEL 4 AND LOWER, ARE SUMMONED OR SET."
Poo drew his 5 and revealed to his opponent. He drew Gemini Elf, Earthbound Spirit, United We Stand, Scapegoat, and Beast of Talwar. He put the last three cards in his hand, set Earthbound Spirit, and summoned Gemini Elf.
The duel robot revealed he drew La Jinn, Battle Ox, Mystic Horseman, Flute of Summoning Dragon, and Lord of Dragons. All the monsters drawn were summoned.
Poo whistled. "Nice," he said. "I'll equip Gemini Elf with United We Stand, set this card, and end my turn."
Poo watched as Gemini Elf's attack power rose by 1600 to 3500.
"DEDUCTING POSSIBLE SET CARD," said the Duel Computer. "COMPLETED. NO ACTIONS WILL BE TAKED. DRAW PHASE: DRAW CARD."
"Activate!" said Poo, pressing a button. "SCAPEGOAT!"
3 little holographic sheep appeared on the field. Gemini Elf rose further, to 5900.
"MAIN PHASE: SACRIFICE 2 MONSTERS FOR LEVEL 8 MONSTER, BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON," declared the Duel Computer. "PLAYING MAGIC CARD: FLUTE OF SUMMONING DRAGON. SUMMONING 2 BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGONS. ACTIVATING FACEDOWN CARD: POLYMERIZATION. FUSING 3 BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGONS INTO BLUE EYES ULTIMATE DRAGON. END TURN."
Poo blinked. "That was fast," he said. He closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. He drew: Pot of Greed. He shrugged.
"I'll play Pot of Greed," Poo declared. He drew 2 cards. Relinquished and Black Illusion Ritual! He smiled. "I PLAY BLACK ILLUSION RITUAL! SACRIFICING A SHEEP TO SUMMON RELINQUISHED!"
He watched the holographic animation take place. A small pot and two goblets appeared. The goblets lit ablaze. The pot sucked up the sheep, and started to shape shift into the monster in his hand. Poo laid down the Relinquished monster card just as it formed into the monster he had Ritual Summoned.
Then he realized he had to get rid of Lord of Dragons before absorbing Blue Eyes Ultimate, as it negated effects that target a dragon-type monster. He looked in his hand. He inserted Tribute to the Doomed in the slot, and discarded his Cosmo Queen. "DESTROY LORD OF DRAGONS!" Poo declared.
Lord of Dragons disappeared.
He promptly used Relinquished to absorb Ultimate Blue Eyes.
He looked at his opponent's field. Only monster left was La Jinn. He looked at his life points. 4000? They were playing with half the life points the book said! He realized this because he hadn't taken damage.
Then he smiled. His Gemini Elf was still at 5900.
"GEMINI ELF!" he shouted. "ATTACK LA JINN! SHOW THEM THAT SPIRITS AREN'T ALMIGHTY!"
"ACTIVATING TRAP: NEGATE ATTACK," declared the Duel Computer. "EFFECT: NEGATES 1 ATTACK AND ENDS OPPONENT'S BATTLE PHASE."
Poo was taken by surprise. "Fine," he said. "I'll end my turn."
"DRAW PHASE: DRAW CARD. MAIN PHASE: PLAY MAGIC CARD: MONSTER REBORN. DECIDING MONSTER TO SUMMON FROM GRAVEYARD… DECIDED. SUMMONING COSMO QUEEN."
"Damn you!"
"BATTLE PHASE: COSMO QUEEN ATTACKS FACE-DOWN MONSTER."
The card revealed itself as Earthbound Spirit. And was destroyed. "Dang-it!"
"ENDING TURN."
Poo drew: Cheerful Coffin. He saw 2 Kuriboh in his hand. He played Cheerful Coffin and discarded the Kuriboh. Then he saw the Dark Necrofear in his hand. With 3 Fiends in the grave, he could summon Dark Necrofear. He smiled. It would boost Gemini Elf back to 5900 from 5100.
"I remove my two Kuriboh and my Earthbound Spirit from my grave to summon DARK NECROFEAR! NOW! GEMINI ELF! ATTACK LA JINN!"
The two elf twin holograms leapt forward, and kicked La Jinn in the jaw. The hologram of the genie exploded into shards. The robot's life point count dropped to 0.
Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Kaiba were all watching the duel from a station near the top of the room. Ness, Jeff, and Paula were all cheering in joy.
"All right!"
"That's our crown prince!"
"He isn't full of feces!"
That last one was Jeff. Ness and Paula looked at him.
"You know? Because his name is Poo? Feces mean dung?"
"OHH!" said Paula.
"I still don't get it," said Ness.
Jeff slapped his head. "AY-YI-YI-YI!" shouted Jeff.
(Impressive,) thought Kaiba. (Most impressive. Not only do I have a tournament-worthy duelist before me, he's also a prince! Well, I hope that those three aren't lying, anyway. Then again, they may not be anything special about having a prince in our tournament. But that Dark Necrofear card is definitely worth it. Not to mention Beast of Talwar. And I'm sure the other duelists will just ignore the jokes they could make about his name.)
I, the author, will not bore you with the details on the following three duels. I will merely tell you important details.
Ness used his Blue Eyes White Dragon, equipped with Metal Morph, to tear through the robot's forces. It eventually summoned Ultimate Blue Eyes. Ness's Blue Eyes ripped it to shreds, while 2 of his warriors, powered by Dragonic Attack, to win the match.
Jeff's machines were pretty strong fighters. He destroyed Blue Eyes Ultimate with XYZ Cannon Dragon's effect of discarding a card to destroy a card on the field. He followed it up with destroying the robot's points with Valkyron the Magnet Warrior, changed into a Machine with the Scroll of Bewitchment.
Paula had many female-like monsters in her deck. However, she mainly relied on Maha Valio. She merely set Scapegoat and equipped Maha with United We Stand, which raised Maha's attack from 1550 to 2850. When Ultimate Blue Eyes attacked, Scapegoat was activated. Maha's attack rose from 2850 to 6050! From there, it was game, set, and match.
After that, the 4 were given damaged Duel Disks, as Kaiba called them. Jeff made some repairs, and they were ready to go!
