Chapter 6

The Bandit's Edge

A lone duelist was wandering through a dark alley.

He wasn't anyone important. He's just here to progress the storyline.

Anyway, out of the darkness, a purple cloth surrounds the duelist and pulls him in.

"I'll take that," said a voice.

The duelist was then thrown out onto the street without his deck and Duel Disk.

"Keep this," the voice said. "It's of no use to me."

The mysterious purple-drabbed figure threw the duelist's deck to him.

Ness was wondering around Battle City.

Ever vigilant.

Ever aware.

Always on the lookout for prey.

He saw a deck. And a hand.

Victim spotted.

But then there was no disk.

Lucky break for him.

The deck came closer.

And closer.

Ness looked up at the deck's owner.

"Please help me," the owner said. It was just a kid. His clothes were torn, and he was beat up.

"What's up?" asked Ness.

"This guy," he said, "… this guy mugged me and stole my Duel Disk and my Locator Card."

(Injured prey,) thought Ness. "I fit into this where?"

"I have a favor to ask of you," the kid said. "Get my card and disk back."

"I'll get your disk," said Ness. "But if this guy only has your locator card, I'm keeping it. I expect some kind of payment out of it, and rare cards don't work for me. I have specific tastes in my cards."

The kid sighed. "Fine," he said. "You get to keep one locator card. And if he stakes a card on the duel, keep that, too."

"Gotcha," said Ness. (The hunt begins anew.)

Ness went back on the prowl. This time, he was ready to kick some ass as well as duel. He had his baseball bat ready just in case.

Ness wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he was alert.

Then he saw a suspicious looking person in a bandana. He had a Duel Disk on, and played a card that Ness recognized from Jeff's deck. Mechanicalchaser, if he remembered right.

Something about the person didn't seem right to Ness.

Then he suddenly saw something from the bandana guy's point of view: him stealing the kid's duel disk. Ness knew he sometimes had trouble controlling his PSI.

(May the real criminal please stand up?) thought Ness.

Ness wanted to say it aloud, but he didn't want to attract attention.

"And that's game," said the bandana-clad duelist. "That's what you get when you deal with 'Bandit' Keith Howard!"

(A/N: That was Bandit Keith's last name, as revealed in the original version of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters anime. Thanks to an anonymous source from an anonymous website for the information.)

(So the suspect has a name,) thought Ness.

"How'd you get such a breath-taking nickname?" asked Ness, joking a bit.

Bandit Keith turned to look at Ness, and scowled. "What'd you have to say to me?"

"Nothing, you gear-grinding jock-monkey!" retorted Ness.

"WHAT?!" Keith yelled, angrily.

"Tell me," said Ness, "does that disk even belong to you?"

"Of course it does!"

"'Cause you seem like the kind of scum who'd do anything to win. You remind me of this gang head I dealt with once, Frank Fly. Probably the only guy I ever saw that tried to stab me. I've been pecked, bitten, shot at with a laser, poisoned, nauseated, whacked with paintbrushes, clawed, almost run over, scalded with hot coffee, blasted with bottle rockets, and had mushroom spores planted on my head and effect my sense of balance, but he was the only guy who tried to hurt me with a knife."

"… I'm sorry. But I lost you after the paintbrushes."

"Look. Just confess you stole the thing and I can go."

"This isn't stolen!"

"Fine. Then I have to do this the hard way."

Ness started for his baseball bat, but then he saw Keith go for something. (A gun, most likely,) Ness assumed.

"You know," said Ness. "We could have a street fight over this, but I got an itch that I just can't scratch. It started when I saw you play that Mechanicalchaser. This other kid with Machines in his deck thrashed me once."

"I get what you're saying," said Keith. "You want a duel. Fine. But you'll regret dueling with 'Bandit' Keith! I was America's top duelist!"

"Was?" said Ness. "You mean you're a has-been? What caused the wash-up?"

"Shut up and duel," said Keith.

"Fine," said Ness. "Can't take a little trash-talk."

The two shuffled each other's decks, and the duel was under way.

Ness drew, and checked out his hand. (How does it that my Sling Troops are always near the top of the deck? It's weird!)

"I'll start it off setting a monster in defense," declared Ness, "and playing 2 cards face down."

"Okay. I'll play Mechanicalchaser! Attack mode!" declared Keith. "Then I'll play Dark-Piercing Light to reveal your face-down monster."

"Mind if I chain a Scapegoat to that?" said Ness.

Ness watched as 4 sheep appeared, then as his Sling Troopers came into view.

"I might as well attack one of those sheep," said Keith. "Don't think I don't know the Sling Troop's effect. Because I do! Mechanicalchaser, attack a sheep!"
Ness watched as the orb-like machine struck its spear into one of Ness's sheep.

"Then I'll play two cards face down and end my turn," declared Keith.

"Thanks for that stunt, Keith," said Ness, with a hint of sarcasm. Ness drew. He smiled.

"GOBLIN ATTACK FORCE!" Ness declared. "In attack mode. Next, I use one of my sheep as sacrifice fodder for Sling Troops' effect. As you know, it lets me destroy one monster that has less defense that Sling Troops has attack. So, say goodbye to your Mechanicalchaser! SLING TROOPS! LAUNCH THE SHEEP!"

The Sling Troops didn't comply.

"Ha-ha!" laughed Keith. "Too bad you don't know that you need to use a Warrior-type as a sacrifice for that effect!"

"What?" said Ness.

"Next time, read the card."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll just have my troops shoot themselves."

Ness watched as the soldier working the catapult hopped into the catapult. The catapult released, and Mechanicalchaser shattered.

"NOW! GOBLINS!" shouted Ness. "CHARGE!"

Ness watched as his Goblins charged forth and  started clubbing the bandana-clad bandit.
Ness chuckled as Keith's life points made a quick and immense drop from 4000 to 1300. Then he moaned when his goblins grabbed flimsy cardboard shields and started napping.

"I'll play a card face-down," said Ness. "That'll wrap my turn up."

Keith drew, and grinned.

"1 monster in defense, and 2 cards face down," declared Keith. "For now, it'll have to do."

Ness drew. "I'll sacrifice my Goblin Attack Force for Luster Dragon! Then, I'll play Stamping Destruction. It destroys a Magic or Trap card and inflicts 500 points of Direct Damage. So, the one on the right will do."

The recently summoned green dragon stomped its feet, and the card shattered. Suddenly, a coffin rose from the ground.

"500 points is a small price for activating my trap: the Cursed Coffin," said  Keith. "It activates when destroyed. I can either have you discard a card from your hand, chosen at random. Or I can destroy 1 monster on the field. So, let's stuff a sheep into an early grave."

Ness watch in confusion as one of his sheep was lured into the coffin. He raised and lowered one shoulder.

"Big mistake, Keith," said Ness. He looked at his hand. Only 2 cards: Fusion Sword Murasame Blade and Dragon's Rage. Murasame wasn't useful at the time, as he needed a Warrior for it. He could set the Dragon's Rage trap card and then finish Keith off next turn.

"I'll set a card face-down," said Ness. "Now! Luster Dragon, attack!"

The large dragon inhaled, and let out a burst of breath that was colored green with emerald shards. The face-down card flipped up, and a round red sphere with claw-like mechanisms appeared. The sphere flew forward and clung to the large dragon.

"WHAT THE HELL?" shouted Ness.

"It's merely my Blast Sphere," stated Keith. "It activates its effect while attacked while face-down. It attaches to the monster that attacked it. Then, on the end of my turn, it'll explode. Your Luster Dragon will be gone, and you'll take direct damage equal to half of the Dragon's attack strength."

"YOU UNDERHANDED SLIMEBALL!" shouted Ness. "Just go!"

"My pleasure," said Keith, as he drew his card. He chuckled. "Time to reveal something that'll leave you hurting. Activate Zera Ritual!"

Keith's remaining face-down card revealed itself.

"And now," said Keith, "I'll sacrifice the Slot Machine and Robolady in my hand to complete the ritual and summon Zera the Mant!"

A giant slot machine with legs and arm appeared, then disappeared. Then a robotic women appeared, and disappeared. A dark mist came from the ritual card, and from it emerged a blue-skinned demon in a cape.

"Thanks a lot," said Ness. "My pants were poppin', but now they're dropping."

"So I had to ditch a metal damsel to summon this beast," said Keith. "She's only good in a fusion and as sacrifice fodder. Besides, I have another lady in waiting. But for now, it's time to make that pain from my Blast Sphere much worse. I play United We Stand and equip it to your Luster Dragon!"

"Huh?" said Ness.

"United We Stand boosts a monster's attack and defense strengths by 800, plus another 800 for each monster on its side," explained Keith. "So your Luster Dragon gains 3200 attack and defense. That makes 1600 more damage when my sphere blows up in your face. You'll still be in the lead, but it won't be by much."

Ness had to shout something. Blinded by his fury, he shouted, in a French accent, "YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER, AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!"

(A/N: I was in a Monty Python-ish mood when I typed that in.)

"I'm just going to end my turn, you freak," replied Keith. "And that'd set off my Blast Sphere."

Ness watched as the metal orb began to glow. After a period, it exploded. When the dust cleared, Ness's big green dragon was gone. He then watched as his life points dropped to 1200, only 400 more than Keith's.

"Talk about lowering the boom," Ness joked. "Maybe I can get something good." Ness drew. A Pot of Greed.

"Let's hope for a better draw!" said Ness. He inserted the card into the slot and drew 2 more cards. Hamburger Recipe and Waboku. He sighed.

"1 card face-down," said Ness. "That'll be all."

Keith chuckled. "On the run, eh?" he said as he drew. "I'll play a card face down. Now, Zera! Slash that sheep!"

The beak-nosed demon leaped forward and slashed one of Ness' helpless sheep.

"I'll set this monster in defense and end my turn," declared Keith.

Ness drew, and looked at his card. Heart of Clear Water. It'll have to do. He'll need to stall until he can summon a monster to wield his Fusion Sword.

"I'll equip a Sheep Token with Heart of Clear Water," declared Ness. "It'll have to do, for now."

"What's a heart gonna do for a rag doll like that?" question Keith as he drew. "Maybe I'll find out! First, I'll sacrifice my two monsters to summon Barrel Dragon!"

Ness watched as Keith's facedown monster briefly appeared: a Robotic Knight. Then it and the demonic Zera disappeared. In its place, a large mechanical dragon with giant glowing… things attached to it appeared.

"Next, I'll use Monster Reborn to revive Zera the Mant," said Keith as he inserted a card into a slot. Shortly, the big demon arose again.

"Zera!" shouted Keith. "Slice that sheep!"

Ness watched helplessly as the big blue demon turned another sheep into lamb chops.

"Now, Barrel Dragon!" Keith continued. "Blast that last sheep!"

Ness braced himself for that blast, and watched as the Barrel Dragon's things fired off laser blasts. Then he witnessed his sheep was knocked backwards. When the smoke cleared, the sheep had some burn marks on its face.

"HOW'D IT SURVIVE?" questioned Keith.

Ness let out a laugh… and I mean a belly laugh. "That's Heart of Clear Water for you," he stated. "It must be equipped to a monster of 1300 attack or less, but the monster it's equipped to becomes impervious to attacks and can't be destroyed by targeted effects. Nice try, though."

"Fine," said Keith. "I'll have to pass."

Ness drew. "I'll just set a monster and end here," said Ness.

Keith drew. "I'll activate Barrel Dragon's effect!" said Keith. "With luck, it'll destroy your face-down monster!"

Ness witnessed in awe as the three blaster-type things rose and formed a triangle pattern. A round disk with a spark plug emerged. The disk spun round and round, until it began to slow. When it stopped, it wasn't near one of blasters.

"DAMN!" shouted Keith. "End turn."

Ness watched as the disk dropped back where it originated, and the blasters reset to its original positions.

Ness inhaled, and exhaled. Then he drew.

"Alright!" said Ness. "Atten-hut! 'Bout damn time! First, I'll flip-summon that Sinister Serpent you tried to blast."

Ness watched as his face-down monster appeared, and a little snake came into view.

"Next, I'll sacrifice it to summon Freed the Matchless General!" declared Ness. "I shall end my turn, here. But be warned, you shall lose shortly. At ease, soldier."

"I'll put your time in this tournament at ease!" said Keith. "Zera! Attack that general!"

He watched in fear as Zera leaped forward. Ness needed the General for his next turn. He had 1 choice.

"Activate face-down card!" said Ness. "WABOKU!"

3 robed priestesses stepped in front of Ness's monsters. Zera stopped in its tracks.

"Fine," said Keith. "I'll play Tribute to the Doomed! And by discarding my Launcher Spider, I can destroy one of your monsters! Say goodbye to your general!"

Ness smirked smugly. The bandages ensnared Freed.

"Any last words?" said Keith.

"Yeah: I think not!" said Ness.

Ness smiled as Freed burst out of the bandages.

"Allow me to explain," said Ness. "Freed the Matchless General has 2 effects. The first one negates all magic cards that target it. The second one you'll witness soon enough."

Keith growled.

"Down, boy!" joked Ness.

"I'll end my turn," said Keith.

"Now, I'll activate Freed's second effect," said Ness. "It lets me get a Warrior monster from my deck instead of drawing. I'll get my Hungry Burger."

Ness took out his deck and started searching. "Here it is," said Ness. He showed the card, added it to his hand, put his hand in his pocket, and shuffled. He then placed the deck back in the slot and grabbed his hand. Then, the Sinister Serpent popped right of the discard slot.

"You expect to beat me with food?" asked Keith.

"Freed would do it," said Ness, "but his first effect makes it so he can't be armed with anything! Now, I'll play Hamburger Recipe!"

Ness watched as his card appeared, and a fast-food-style grill appeared. The fire below the grill ignited, and lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, buns, beef, and onions appeared on the edge. A rather demonic chef appeared and cooked the beef. Then he assembled the burger and placed a little flag of Japan on top.

"I'll sacrifice the Sinister Serpent in my hand and Freed the Matchless General for my recipe!" stated Ness as he slid the monsters into the discard slot.

Ness watched as his serpent appeared, then it and his general disappeared into balls of light and flew into the recently prepared burger. The burger grew teeth and hopped of the grill. At that moment, the chef and grill disappeared.

"Meet the Hungry Burger!" declared Ness. "Can you say, 'Check, please?'"

Keith just shook his head.

"Now," said Ness, "I'll equip Hungry Burger with Fusion Sword Murasame Blade!"

Ness watched as some of Hungry Burger's lettuce wrapped around the freshly-generated sword.

"Hungry Burger," said Ness, "attack Barrel Dragon!"

The sharp toothed burger leaped forward, and swung its sword. The giant metal behemoth shattered into pieces.

Ness chuckled. "You're at 600," said Ness. "I'm at 1200. Take your turn."

Keith shook his head and drew. "I'll pass," Keith said. "I got nothing. And Zera isn't losing his life over some lunchmeat."

Ness drew and looked at his card. Graceful Charity. Bad spot to be in. He sighed.

"I'll play Graceful Charity," said Ness. He drew three cards. Blue Eyes White Dragon, Monster Reborn, and Tyrant Dragon. He discarded the two dragons.

"Now!" said Ness. "This is where you fall! MONSTER REBORN!"

"What do you have to revive?" asked Keith.

"Nothing much," said Ness. "Just the Blue eyes White Dragon!"

"You're bluffing!" said Keith.

"Am I? I had to discard something through Graceful Charity. One of those things was my Blue Eyes White Dragon!"

Ness watched as his big white dragon came into view. He smiled.

"BLUE EYES!" shouted Ness. "ATTACK ZERA!"

 The giant dragon reared his head back and let loose with a large bursting stream of energy, which destroyed the big demon that is Zera.

"Finish him off, Hungry Burger!" stated Ness.

The beefy fighter leaped forward and slashed at Keith with his sword.

Just then, the images of Ness's Blue Eyes and Hungry Burger disappeared.

"Uhh… wow," said Keith, taking out something. "You're good. Here. A locator card."

"Thanks," said Ness, accepting it.

"And here's my Barrel Dragon," Keith continued.

"I'll turn that down," said Ness. "I'd prefer some type of warrior monster, if anything."

"Alright," sighed Keith, who then took off his jacket and went through the cards stuffed in the inside pockets.

"How's this?" said Keith, handing Ness a card. "Total Defense Shogun When you summon it, it puts itself into defense mode. And to make things better, it can attack while in defense mode."

"Okay," said Ness. He took the card.

"HEY!" shouted a familiar voice.

(Oh, great!) thought Ness. (My client.)

"Glad you found the guy who stole my disk!" the duelist said.

"Of course I did!" said Keith. "I'd do anything to help!"

"Stop the phony act, Howard!" said Ness. "The kid was talking to me. And you've been had."

"You got no proof!" said Keith.

"You saying that is enough proof," said Ness.

It didn't take a psychic to know that Keith was nervous. In an attempt to stop Ness from following him, Keith took off his coat and threw it at Ness. Right after that, Keith took off. When Ness got the coat off him, he saw Keith in the distance with the kid in hot pursuit.

Ness raised and lowered one soldier, and went through the many cards. After taking a Throwstone Unit (a card exactly like Sling Troops in every way), a Dark Ruler Ha Des, some spirits, and various other cards for himself and his friends, Ness threw the jacket to the ground. After he left the area, he heard a huge crowd screaming nearby.