Disclaimer - You know this part, belongs to MGM and gekko and all those other people, which also means I ain't making no money either, DUH!

Summary - Alternate reality. Sg1 are actors, whihc maens they arent Sg1,infact Feretti, Janet, Jonas and Kawalsky are SG1. Jack, Sam, Tealc (Murray) and Daniel are in an acting company, Hammond (Porky is their director). It's a shippy story, a little kookie, fluffy, let me know what you think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LOUSY ACTORS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tell them to get there asses on this stage or their all out of a job" Yelled Hammond to an already agitated Siler who was dragging cable along from one end of the backstage to the other.

Siler promptly dropped the cabling and was off like a shot to the stairs leading down into the bowels of the area of the actor dressing rooms. He knocked on doors as he passed them. Muttering under his breath about having better things to do. Heads popped out of rooms as they were rattled on, only to be withdrew with irritation and then flung back open with more agitation, scripts tucked under arms as costumes were pulled at, coffee was quickly consumed and the odd sponge dabbed onto the face.

"What's got porkys undies in a knot this time?" muttered an irritated Jackson as he drank the dregs of his coffee before settling the cup on an upturned suitcase.

"He wasn't happy with scene five last I heard" answered an equally irritated Sam Carter as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear before grabbing her script from under her arm to muse over the lines.

As the clambered up the steps to the stage, they could hear 'Porky's' anger. This was not good. A commotion caught their attention from behind them and they both turned their heads as an angry O'Neill stepped from his dressing room. He slammed the door and cast his eyes upwards, catching the looks from his two-co workers on the stage. He muttered under his breath and Sam and Daniel exchanged glances before continuing up the stairs. Things just kept getting better and better, not only were the director in a black mood but also one of the leads.

Jack followed them up the stairs; his steps heavy to portray his un happiness at being dragged from a perfectly decent episode of the Simpson's, which he insisted, helped his delivery of humorous scenes. He couldn't believe all things 'Porky' had dragged him into taking the part. All right, he owed the guy a favour but this sucked.

He had no more time to muse on his misfortune as he reached the stage and was faced by two steely blue eyes who looked at him in exasperation.

"Well I'm glad you finally found it in yourself to join us Jack" came the icy cold greeting through tight lips as the blue eyes cast from him over his co-workers and back to him.

"Anytime" was Jack's soft icy reply.

"Siler, get that damned set sorted, act one second scene," yelled Hammond as he started down the stage stairs to sit a few rows back.

Jack turned to see Siler roll his eyes, drop yet another roll of cabling and start pointing out directions to people around him on set. Pulling and pushing took place for a moment and the backdrop was set. Not perfectly but enough for everyone to have an idea of where they were going.

"Oh god" mumbled Daniel under his breath

"Tell me about it" replied Sam "Were going from scene two, but I thought it was scene five he didn't like?"

"From scene two people" came the yell from below

Each actor moved to their respected position, scripts in hand but not very necessary, it gave them a bit of ease to be able to have them on hand though.

Jack stood slightly to the side of the stage as Sam and Daniel took their positions on stage, both standing fairly close, turned slightly toward each other away from the audience.

"Lights, what's happening with the damned lights?" came another yell from below just as Daniel was about to launch into the opening scene.

Jack watched as both actors sighed and relaxed slightly waiting for word to continue. After a moment spotlights flickered on and brightened the stage even more.

"Perfect, now could we have the correct lighting for the SECOND scene?!"

Jack suppressed a chuckle. With each passing moment Hammond was getting highly more irritated and he hoped the man would be pushed to the point to stop for the day and let them all go early. He got like that, so thoroughly obsessed without he stage and crew he sometimes forgot about the actors. They all needed a break, it was just biding time for 'porky' as they all called him, to go completely awol and give them a break.

Daniel and Sam blinked against the sudden bright lights as they changed to the set for the first scene. Steeling themselves to start they took a quick glance at their scripts before looking at each other.

"OK people, when you ready"

Daniel took a deep breath and looked at Sam who gave him a slight nod to tell him she was set herself. As Daniel opened, his mouth to speak the first line he and Sam jumped with a jolt as a loud crash followed by a groan came from behind them.

"What the hell is going on back there?" came the angry yell form below.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, folded his arms and wandered towards his two friends standing mid stage as people started buzzing around them, Hammond rushed by them as moaning was heard backstage. The three looked at each other with raised brows, when they turned their attention back to the commotion they saw the other lead approaching slowly, a sly smile on his face. They raised their brows further as the smile began to grow as the groans and shouts raised higher behind him.

"That's it people, call it a day" said Hammond admitting defeat that the day could in fact get worse. "Go home, get some sleep, I want you back bright and early in the morning"

He had wandered back onto the stage where the four were standing watching the goings on, looking worn and tired. People started wandering off, some heading straight for the exits, others tidying up their area of work.

"What was that?" asked Jack to Muray who was rolling up his script, the smile still brightening his face.

"Ah, Siler had a little 'technical' difficulty with that cabling he was dragging round"

"Technical difficulty?" asked Sam

"Yeah" replied Murray choosing not too elaborate on the explanation.

"Well kids, how about we head over to O'Malley's?" asked Jack "I think we've earned a good night out after today"

"Sounds good" replied Daniel, checking his watch "How about we meet at stage door in twenty minutes?"

They all agreed and wandered to the stage stairs, traipsing down at a slow pace. They nodded and uttered goodbyes to the people as they passed separating to go to their dressing rooms to change and freshen up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later they arrived at O'Malley's, after a slow walk from the theatre. The atmosphere buzzed as they stepped inside and found a booth. Jack bought the first round and they partook of the first drinks with a slight fervour, gladly welcoming the alcohol entering their systems. They had worked hard that day on the play. Porky had been in a foul mood and it had affected them all, O'Malley's was the welcome break needed.

"Busy in here tonight" mused Daniel as he sipped a dry martini

"Yeah, some new faces" agreed Sam motioning to a few newcomers who were entering the busy bar.

"Well today sucked," said Jack, who was more interested in drowning his sorrows than chit chatting on newcomers.

They all looked at him, as he took a long drink of his beer, before shrugging his shoulders to their bemused looks.

"Hey I'm just saying, it did suck right? Porky wasn't just picking on me"

"He was in a mood. You know he gets like that sometimes. Although I've never known him to be in such a mood all day like today. What's with him?"

"Got up on the wrong side of the bed" replied Murray as he cast his eyes over to the opposite booth where the new faces had settled.

"Nah, I just don't think this project is going the way he wants it too" said Jack which was received by all eyes turned on him questioningly "Come on you guys, you know how passionate he gets about stuff when he gets going. Things don't always go like he wants it too, and that irritates him"

Heads nodded in agreement and more drink was consumed. It wasn't the first time they had been pushed to such lengths. They'd all worked with Hammond before; they knew how hard he could get sometimes.

"Don't look now but I think you have an admirer Murray" said Daniel, his blue eyes casting over to the opposite table and then back to his drink before raising to meet his friends.

Murray raised his eyes softly to the opposite table himself. One of the 'new faces' was looking over at him unashamedly, flashing him a broad smile. She raised her glass slightly and took a sip before being dragged back into conversation with her comrades by way of a friendly elbow in her side.

"Get yourself in there" said Sam with a smile before looking over at the occupied booth. "And while your there find out if her friend is free"

Jack found himself looking sharply over at the booth at this remark, observing the man Sam was also looking at. He quickly averted his eyes to the rest of the bar. Why should he care who Sam was checking out?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later and they were still seated in O'Malley's, with a few exceptions. Muray was at the bar having an intimate conversation with the woman who he had been flirting with all evening. With enough promoting from his friends, he had approached her and hour before at the bar and had summarily forgotten to return to his table with his round of drinks for them all.

Sam had also taken up a comfortable position with the guy she'd been eyeing up, much to Jack's dismay, this time on the dance floor. The dances had been not necessarily slow but definitely intimate. Jack was getting increasingly sorrowful of himself and had been drowning his woes even more with he aid of beer. Daniel had joined him, still getting over the painful break up of a long-term relationship with his former girlfriend, an exotic dancer Deanna who went by the name of 'Share'. She had certainly been exotic, beautiful, sexual and Daniel hadn't never even considered what they had would ever end. That was until he had decided to pay her a surprise visit from his busy schedule and found her practising some interesting dance moves with her manager, and owner of the club, Peter also a dancer under the pseudonym of 'Aphophis'. It was club policy that the dancers chose exotic foreign names as pseudonyms.

Since then Daniel had avoided the club, Deanna and any contacts between them throwing himself into 'Porkys' new project and thankfully his friends hadn't pushed him on the subject of his former lover.

"You two look a little down" came a voice from the booth along, where Murray and Sam's friend had been situated.

Daniel managed to raise his slightly fuzzy eyes to the booth to see a young man addressing them.

"What's eating ya?" he asked pointedly, giving them a smile before taking a drink from the bottle before him.

"Bad day at work" grumbled Jack, his eyes trailing over to Sam and her friend who were swaying to the soft lyrics the jukebox was pumping out.

"Girlfriend trouble" mumbled Daniel

"Drowning your sorrows?" asked the young mans comrade who had decided to join in the conversation.

"Sort of yeah" replied Daniel

"Hey haven't I seen you guys somewhere?" asked the young mans friend, leaning over to look closer at the two men who were looking increasingly depressed.

Jack turned his eyes to the young men and frowned.

"Neither of you ring a bell," he said

One of the men slammed his fist on the table in exclamation and jabbed his friend with his elbow.

"Yeah you guys are actors right?" he exclaimed "Remember Jonas, Janet dragged us to the theatre last month. Said it was about time we started doing stuff she liked as well on downtime"

"Oh yeah" replied Jonas, recognition in his face "Your friend there's pretty good."

Jonas motioned to Sam who was still dancing too close to the guy she was with, at least in Jack's eyes.

"Your all pretty good" said Jonas' friend "but Kawalsky seemed to like your friends role in particular"

He grinned and raised his beer in mock toast before taking a drink.

"I get the feeling were gonna be visiting again soon" said Jonas " When is your next play starting up?"

Jack sighed and sat back, dragging his eyes from Sam to glance at the two opposite.

"If things go like today, not for a few months." He groaned before emptying his drink.

The two men looked at him in slight surprise, Daniel finished his own drink and set the empty bottle next to Jack's.

"Like we said, it's been a long day" he drew out the 'long' and looked down at his empty bottle trying to figure out who's turn it was to get the next round.

"Tell me about it" replied Jonas, who folded his arms and turned his attention to a few attractive women entering the bar.

"Guess this is the place to come if you're having a bad day and need to drown your sorrows huh?" said Jack, pulling out his wallet and looking pointedly at Daniel, wanting to know what he wanted to drink. He was about to stand when Sam rejoined them, sliding into her seat opposite Jack who avoided any in-depth eye contact.

"Want another drink?" he asked a little icily, Sam didn't seem to notice and nodded her head

"I'll have another cocktail please" she replied, smiling.

Jack approached the bar, as did her friend who he had deduced was Kawalsky. The two men stood at the bar, Jack thought the guy was a little too confident and sure of himself giving him a cocky air. He smiled at Murray who had paused his conversation to introduce Jack to his friend.

"Hey Jack, this is Janet Frasier, Janet this is Jack O'Neill."

"Nice to meet you eventually Jack. I've seen a few of your plays; you guys are really good. I like the company"

Jack smiled and shook her outstretched hand.

"Always nice to meet a fan" he replied in good humour. "You guys want a drink?"

"No I'm good thanks" Janet replied

"Another beer for me buddy" said Murray sliding his empty bottle across the bar top.

"Hey you wanna dance?" he asked Janet as the juke box started lulling out more tunes

"Sure" replied Janet, smiling sweetly up at him as he stood and took her hand in his.

"Take my drink back to the table Jack?"

"No problem"

Jack stood impatiently waiting for Kawalsky to finish ordering, noting he was ordering more than just three drinks. Before he had a chance to think, Kawalsky turned to him, handing him a beer.

"I got em buddy," said the man as he turned to pick up the other drinks.

"Help me carry them to the table?"

Jack picked up the other three beers in hand and turned to the table. Kawalsky followed with a beer for himself and Sam's cocktail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janet and Murray had joined them after a few dances and they had settled into amicable conversation. Introductions had been made. Jonas, Kawalsky, Janet and Feretti were it turned out in the airforce, a close knit teams the others surmised. Although they had found out they were airforce, nothing much else was elaborated on. Apparently they had just transferred from elsewhere and had happened to find O'Malley's by chance. They didn't get much time for a downtime, especially together, and tonight was the first real break they had had for a few months.

Jack had been very aware of Sam's delight and obvious impressed state to find out Kawalsky, or Charlie was in the airforce. Who cares? Did that make him some sort of god? What was it with women and uniforms? He tried to drop his irritation at the attention she was exuding toward the airforce officer, people would think he was jealous or something.

Janet had been as equally enthusiastic about their work as actors. Apparently she had seen them all in a few plays with the acting company they worked with, which was one of the reasons she had been watching them closely when they had entered the bar. That and the fact she really really fancied Murray. It was obvious her comrades were not as overly enthusiastic about the actors but respected their friend's opinion enough to join in with the conversation as she enthused about the actor's work.

Frankly, Charlie was too interested in Sam too be bothered about the three other men. Janet on the other hand was not only interested in Murray but also the others. Feretti and Jonas were only there for the drinks.

As the conversation continued the bar began to empty. Charlie, who had sat by Sam and had been leaning over to whisper in her ear at intervals, received a call on his cell phone and left the table to take it in an empty booth. Jonas, Janet and Feretti had exchanged glances and their mood had changed slightly.

"Sorry to break up the party folks, but we've gotta go" said Kawalsky as he rejoined the group, looking a little unhappy.

"Knew it was too good to be true" grumbled Jonas as he rose from the table, holding his head for a moment "Shouldn't have had that last beer"

"Or three" replied Feretti, slapping his friend on the back.

Jonas groaned and punched him in the arm, receiving one back. Janet stood before things got out of hand and slapped them each softly on the back of the head.

"Get with the program guys" she said and turned to Murray who had also rose

"It was really nice meeting you"

"Yeah, you too" he replied. "I'll walk you to the door"

"Nice meeting you guys, maybe we'll see you again in here" said Janet before turning with Murray.

They wandered off followed by a slightly tipsy pair, who had given up hitting each other and instead were leaning onto each other for staggering support. Sam had also risen looking at Kawalsky who was smiling over to her. Jack looked up at the two and mumbled 'oh please' under his breath before rising as well.

"Maybe its time we split as well" he said to the others.

"Yeah, I can go home to my empty apartment and drink somemore" replied a moaning Daniel as he stood and held his own head.

"I don't think Porkys gonna be very happy tomorrow with us"

"Ya think," said Jack as they headed for the door followed by Sam and Charlie.

As they stepped outside, Janet, Feretti and Jonas were clambering into a cab, calling for Kawalsky to join them.

"The General wont be to pleased if were late Charlie," yelled Jonas from the open window. "Ouch, what the hell was that for?"

"Quite yelling ya moron" came Feretti voice from inside the cab

"I gotta go before someone gets hurt" chuckled Kawalsky to Sam.

"Nice meeting you all, like Janet said, maybe we'll see you again in here"

"That would be nice" replied Sam as he stepped opened the cab door

Jack rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to step forward and close the cab door for him. They watched as the cab pulled away and Daniel raised his hand to hail another.

"Turned out a nice night. Especially for some of us" he said looking from Murray to Sam grinning.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Sam with a light air, grinning as a cab pulled up.

"Me neither" replied Murray opening the cab door for Sam who stepped in.

"You guys are really lousy actors ya know that," said Jack, sliding in beside Sam.

Sam poked him in the arm.

"Hey watch the lousy stuff"

Daniel sat on the opposite side and chuckled. Murray sat in the front and gave the cab driver his address.

"So did either of you get their numbers?" asked Daniel in curiousity

"Yeah, I gave Janet my number, and she gave me hers, but she said with her job there's no idea when I may get hold of her. She said she would call me though when she got a chance"

"And you?" said Daniel, jabbing a slightly flushed Sam with his elbow

"Actually no I didn't get his number and he didn't give me his"

"But you seemed to be getting on so well"

"Yeah, he's sweet and very cute but, I dunno. He was nice to flirt with but I really couldn't see us actually getting together"

"Yeah it looked that way" said Murray chuckling as the cab drew up to his apartment

"Goodbye Murray" said Sam pointedly as he stepped out of the cab

He bid them farewell and the cab moved on a few blocks to Daniel's apartment.

"You gotta admit Sam, you two were certainly getting close on the dance floor" said Daniel, teasingly.

"Shut up Daniel," said Sam, squirming slightly under the interrogation.

"I'm just saying, it's about time you got together with someone. You looked pretty happy"

"Daniel"

"Yeah?"

"Get out of the cab"

He chuckled and kissed her lightly on the cheek, stepping out of the cab.

"Sweet dreams all"

"See you tomorrow, and don't be late" said Jack out of the window as Daniel walked round the cab to his building.

So far, he had listened to the conversation in silence. Why was it he seemed happy by that fact Sam wasn't interested in Kawalsky. He mused that in that case, maybe the guy wasn't too bad after all. He did seem to have a good sense of humour, as did Ferret and Jonas. They all seemed to be like the three stooges, Janet being the mediator between them all keeping them all in check.

The cab moved on yet again, Sam giving him directions to her own apartment. Jack noted she hadn't moved from her position in the middle of the back seat and he suddenly became aware her hand had settled softly on his arm as she folded them across her chest.

"You've been pretty quiet Jack," she said, looking out of the front window

"I have?" asked Jack as her fingers lightly brushed against his bare arm

"Yeah you have, something on your mind?"

"Not at all. Just been a very long day"

"You seemed pretty jovial at the bar"

"I did"

"Yeah you did, until..."

Jack chose not to even reply to the slight remark. Had Sam noticed his change of behaviour? He hardly understood or noticed it himself for a few moments. Well until he found himself becoming increasingly on guard of himself as he had watched her dancing with one Charlie Kawalsky. He did however know Sam had felt himself slightly tense at her remark.

God damn it, he was an actor, he should be able to hide his obvious discomfort at the fact she had been showing interest in another guy than this. It wasn't like he'd ever made a move toward her or even consciously thought about them as a 'item'.

"You ok Jack?" asked Sam, feeling him slightly tense. She knew she'd touched on something as she'd said the remark. She was surprised at herself enjoying the fact she may have made the man jealous. It wasn't the first time she'd ever seen him uncomfortable when any men who were interested in her. Kawalsky had certainly been fun, but only fun. There was no way except physically she had been interested in him. He was cute, funny but a little too cocky. The airforce thing did have a certain appeal to it though. And boy could he dance, and Sam loved anyone who could rival her on the dance floor. She had made it clear to Charlie from the start though that there was a chance nothing would come of their obvious flirtation, which seemed to be fine with him. He had told her his job was so demanding he wasn't the sort of guy who could ever fully commit unless he was entirely sure it would work, but he would enjoy a good evening with a mutual friend to flirt and dance with which had consequently suited them both.

What had impressed her was Jack's obvious discomfort in the advances between them both and she had watched him becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. Of course being the kind of guy he was he had impressively hidden his discomfort and given an Oscar winning performance of being comfortable in the situation. However she had worked with him for five years with the company and she knew him. Maybe too well or maybe not well enough.

"Yeah I'm ok" replied Jack as he looked out of the window. The cab pulled up outside Sam's apartment but she made no move for the door for a moment, musing on a thought.

It was now or never, actually probably never but at least she'd get some answers. She stepped out of the cab and walked around to his open window, fishing out her purse from her bag.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a lousy actor"

She was grinning like a Cheshire cat and leaned down to the cab drivers window handing him a few notes before swinging open Jack's door and taking his hand in hers.

"Be a gentleman and walk me too my door" she said pulling him as he stepped out of the cab. It was more of an order than a request but Jack complied. Things were taking an interesting turn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~TBC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know what you think, PLZ you know I appreciate it.

Sara Lou