Errmmm... this is just to warn you that each of the flashbacks are not in chronological order. I think you would've guessed, but you always get the odd reader who has to make a comment on something.... not that I mind of course...

Another thing you may want to know about my writing: rarely is it that I see the characters in the books as I portray them in the fanfiction, when in *relation* to each other. The thing is, so many fics seem to wander around in the same direction, that I tend to think, 'But what if *this* had actualy happened during whatever', or 'What underlying message could there be...?' I am also one of those people who despise stereotypes (I avoid reading Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, books by Philip Pullman etc in public, simply because *everyone* reads them) and hate to be thought of as a sheep. So there you go.

Thank you very much for the reviews, they were wonderful.



This chapter is starting with a flashback and there are two in this chapter... you have been warned....







Chapter 4: Progressing











He was now very far away from Hogwarts. In fact, not just in terms of distance, but in culture and values as well.

He was also very far away from the Death Eaters, from Voldemort. To be honest, from the whole of the wizarding world. Now, much to his surprise, he was actually feeling what could be remotely described as... peace. A sort of inner calm.

Oxford, the city of learning, was his apparent destiny.

Already, he could see from his seat, the tall spires of the city, the college buildings and ordinary houses and flats. It wasn't like Hogwarts at all, and for this, Severus was grateful. Despite being the nearest village to the school and thriving off the industry from the students, the villagers of Hogsmeade had the tendency to be rude and disdainful towards the pupils of Hogwarts. Here, in Oxford, it seemed everyone was part of the artistic scheme: The city *was* the University. They were one and the same thing.

The Snape and Cohen Grandparents had paid for his first two months well in advance and Severus got the feeling that they'd actually paid for more, besides the flat he'd be sharing with two other students. He was grateful, but thought that they were missing the point if they paid for everything.

As the train came to a steady halt, Severus joined the other passengers at the sliding door and they milled out quickly. According to Grandfather Cohen, he was to meet his cousin Dinah at the entrance to the station. You couldn't miss her, the old man said with a wry smile. She's dyed her hair that ridiculous shade of pink. You watch that you do no such thing, young man, or else I'll get my wand greased and then you'll be in for it.

Eleni and Jona were lucky, Severus grumbled mentally. They would be staying within the protective clan circles whilst he would be trudging off to University.

He heaved the bags up his shoulder.

The bright light was a bit of a shock to his eyes as he stepped out of the station. He knew it was just after midday, but hadn't realised that it would be so bright. He wasn't in the mood for his sunglasses either: the last thing he wanted was for Dinah to see him as some continental twat.

Severus was now feeling the beginnings of hunger twang at his stomach. Searching his wallet for loose, muggle change, he was relieved to find that he did have some and bought a bar of chocolate. He knew he'd throw it up later, anyway, but it made him feel a bit better for the moment at that was what counted. Besides, he may be too busy to puke it all up, what with meeting his flat mates and trying to get on with decorating the small apartment.

He turned away from the stall, and began to search for his shock headed cousin.

At that time, he tried to recollect vague memories of Dinah from their childhood. Severus remembered that she was the only daughter of Uncle Joshua Cohen and his wife, Milan. He remembered that she used to have a pet tortoise and ate squid tentacles raw.

And that wasn't the tortoise he meant either.

"Severus?" An American voice said behind him.

"Dinah?" He grinned subconsciously, hurting the already weak facial muscles, as he turned round. "Is that you? You're supposed to have pink hair, damn you! How the hell did you expect me to recognise you?"

She laughed: it was true, she had dyed her hair pink, but by now, it had almost vanished. Only the tips were a dark pink, now integrated with her dark brown hair. "I'm sorry... I never knew I was a wanted pink - head." They both laughed. "And how're you, cousin mine?"

"Oh... I'm okay... you?"

"Fine, fine... shall we get going then?"

"After you."

They set off for the streets of Oxford.

*

Lira exhaled in her usual, glamorous fashion, the shot glass rotating in her hand. "Damn it Remus, can't you think of anything?"

"Nope," he replied. "And believe me, I've tried... if only for your sake."

She sighed.

"I just don't want him to leave me," she said, getting up, her dress blowing slightly in the wind and her purple hair waving to her right. "Not right now... not so soon after Azkaban...." She dragged. "I hate that man!" She burst out savagely. "I hate him! I hate him! I *hate* him! Damn him to hell!" Lira managed to remain calm enough to lay her shot glass down gently. "What would he know about relationships, if only for him to wreck 'em!"

Mrs. Black was now ranting about Dumbledore.

"Lira, this is for the good of all..." he said, but it sounded so stupid. Why couldn't he say something else to her? Lira was too sophisticated for the 'All for One and One for All' speech.

"So it is... that's why someone like Lily had to die, isn't it?" She breathed out in wisps of blue smoke. "It was his own fucking school... if he's so smart, why wasn't he doing anything to prevent it from it's roots?" She scowled. "He's such a fucking hypocrite, I don't know what Sirius sees in him." Lira turned to Remus. "The same for you, now that I come to think of it..."

"He's..." Remus stopped. He knew what Dumbledore had done. Everyone did. Dumbledore had boosted morale, brought fear into Voldemort's heart, he had helped fight the dark wizard. Lira knew that. How could she not?

So why other repeating himself if it came to no effect?

"Would you like some fruit cake?" She offered.

"No thank you... I'm going to have to get to Hogwarts soon enough."

"Oh, well... I *did* offer." The French cigarrette was extinguished. "Keep yourself safe as you go back there, okay?" Lira's brown eyes seemed to be full of concern. "And *eat*, goddamn you Remus. You know that transofrmation burns the fat of you in barrels. It's in four days, right?" He nodded. It was odd how young Lira's scolding made you feel, despite the fact that she was actually two years Sirius' junior. "Right, so eat all you can. Especially doughnuts."

"I will, Lira."

"*Good*. Just be sure you do."

* * *

Snape would be here in a matter of minutes. He would have Remus' first draught of the potion. The werewolf found the thought of eating food slightly nauseating,as he usually did so soon before the transformation. Rotating his shoulders and flexing his fingers, he leant back and closed his eyes.

Before long, he was swept into the dark midsts of dream. Now, there was peace for him. Now, he could rest.

The memories were returning... he was five again.... "... so very young... it shouldn't have happened...not to a dear boy like this..."

Remus recognised those voices: they belonged to his mother's friends. One of whom, was Dr. Goluskoni, the future inventor of the Wolfsbane potion. He couldn't see them, but the voices had never been erased from his memory.

"Oh, Lucinda, you poor woman.... how did it happen...?"

"He was sleepwalking again..."

"Good lord..."

"Yes," there was the sound of distressed weeping. "Wandered off into the moor... you know, the bit nearest... found him shaking... thought he was having a ... but he had grown out of those by... oh... God.... Howard is so upset... hasn't spoken... wonder what..."

And so it went on, half spoken sentences with long, breathy pauses between them.

It had all happened before, he hadn't anything to worry about, so he slept on soundly until a huge crow descended upon him, crying out his name and stabbing him with it's long beak.

"Sh-!" He exclaimed, leaping forward, almost knocking the goblet out of Snape's hands. He could see a blurred shape vanish suddenly within Snape's cloak and squeak as it did so. Snape didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, he took out a vial and topped up the goblet calmly. "Hang it all, I'm sorry, Severus..."

"You were asleep. I doubt Rat meant to disturb you so."

"Rat?"

Snape looked up at him, what looked like the beginnings of a sneer on his face. He put his hand within his cloak and murmured a few words. A whiskered face poked out and wrinkled it's nose. "This is Rat. You gave him a bit of a fright. Needless to say, he probably gave you a bit of a fright as well. No matter. This is your potion, Lupin, as you must have foreseen." Rat was patting his way up Snape's arm and onto the man's shoulder, gazing at Remus and squeaking quietly from the safety of the crook of his owner's neck. Snape's face was unreadbale. "And please drink that directly, Lupin: there is an ingredient that should make it taste better, but it may go bitter if exposed to the colder air."

"Thank you, Severus."

"Accepted. You can't buy gratitude after all."

"True." Was that a joke Snape had told?

"I do mean it when I say that you should drink that directly."

"I will."

"And there's more." Snape added. Rat squeaked a bit louder before going silent all together. Remus smiled at him, but the Rat began to paw at it's face. Snape sighed and extended his arm to the table. Rat ran along it, landed on the table and continued to paw at himself for what seemed like five minutes before leaping onto his owner's forearm and scurrying to the hidden pocket he seemed to stay in. "Good bye, Lupin."

"Thank you," Remus replied. To wherever Rat was, he added, "And I'm sorry I scared you, Rat."

A muffled squeaking sounded, signalling Snape's leave.

When the door closed, Remus grimaced and drank deeply from the goblet and was so surprised by the taste that he almost spat it out.

Whatever Snape had put in it, it was working. Instead of the bitter gall that always left an acrid aftertaste in his mouth, the potion had a strange, sweet-bitter nutty taste to it. Encouraged, he drained the goblet further and found himself considering visiting the dungeons if only to get some more.

Instead, he left the staff room, knowing that soon enough, the other teachers - stressed and tired from their lessons - would arrive here. A multicouloured, noisy mass.

* * *

4:30 in the Snape household.

"Papa's home!"

The two children scrambled from their beds into the hallway and almost at the same time, leapt into their father's waiting arms. He grinned and laughed at their faces: Eleni, the smiling nymph and Severus, the little emperor who never seemed to smile with his lips.

"Look at them!" Tessa's voice was heard saying. "They're clambering all over you like the babarians that they are! Excuse me, move over, lady with a baby coming through!" She said, elbowing her two children off her husband, to plant a long kiss on his lips. Eleni made a face whcih in turn, caused Severus to laugh quietly. Jona giggled and stroked his father's hair. Samuel Snape laughed loudly.

"Nothing new, I take it?" Samuel asked, an arm around his wife's slim waist. "No new scabs or similar grievous injuries? No loose teeth to repel and disgust me? Nothing?"

"Severus ate a bug today," Eleni spoke up.

"What, your Ma's baking already?"

"Oh!" Tessa slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "I heard that!"

"My, did I say that out loud?" Samuel grinned at his family.

Tessa pouted. "I ought to have you shot, mister," she grinned flirtaciously at him. "You deserve to die, you wicked man. Stop encouraging the children, they're bad enough as it is." She turned to her children. "Get into the kitchen, you two. Get your father's food out of the oven and for goodness sake don't turn any knobs this time, Eleni."

Scowling, Eleni dragged her younger brother with her into the kitchen. When she presumed they wouldn't be looking, she and Severus looked round the door quickly.

"They're going to kiss again," Severus said quietly. Eleni hushed him.

"No... something else is going to happen... Dad said he was going somewhere..."

"He never told me."

"He didn't tell me either, I only heard it this morning, when he was talking to Ma."

"It's probably for that cough of his," Severus said slowly. "He might have gone to the doctor's... to get some medicine for it."

Eleni was about to say that she didn't think it was just a normal cough, because she'd once seen her father spit blood after a very bad bout of coughing. She also knew that her mother spent a lot of time talking to Grandmothers Snape and Cohen. Eleni got a bad feeling that nothing was going as it should be.

That was when she realised that Pa's food was burning.

*

Remus lay in his bed and exhaled slowly.

Three more days to go and he'd eaten no doughnuts whatsoever.

~

Enjoyed, I hope...