I despise it, but I am using JK Rowling's year for Severus' birth. God, it's such an unoriginal year. No offence meant.

Chapter 22: Elephantine

He had a very strange dream that night.

He dreamt that he was Rat and the world was *huge*. Severus was nowhere in sight, and that worried him. It suddenly occurred to Remus that Rat actually *loved* his human, despite the sarky appearance. He wouldn't want to go anywhere without him because it was as if they were one and separating from each other like splitting oneself in half. Besides, Rat owed him his life and he knew that his human owed him his life several times over.

But he was a rat and the debt had to be repaid. And for a rat, that debt could only be repaid by death.

Where was he? It wasn't so dark as that Rat couldn't see, but it was rather cold and empty. Too empty, as if all pulse had left the room.

He didn't like it.

Not that Remus had much time to consider this as he woke up after a while and couldn't get back to sleep afterwards.

It was very late indeed, probably some time just after midnight. Remus got up and had a shower, knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep anyway, got dressed and made his way with a lighted wand, down to Snape's office where he knew the last of the three books would be.

The door creaked as he opened it - Remus made a mental note to tell Severus about it when he came back - and the light of his wand threw grotesquely shaped shadows around the room. He headed straight for the large table that had the most papers on it in the most untidiest fashion. On top of a particularly large pile of papers, was the book.

Remus stood where he was for a while, placing the wand in an abandoned mug which had had it's handle smashed off, and opening the book gingerly, filled with the usual respect he had for them.

He could hear only his breath in the dimly-lit room, but kept his ears alert for the sound of anyone approaching. Unlike with the other books, the first page of this one was empty.

He frowned.

The werewolf flicked another page open. Ah.

On it was some writing, but Remus couldn't read it. Some strange language, perhaps?

There was a simple charm for such languages. However, if this was one of the Eld scripts, then he would have to try something a little more advanced.

"Transcumanato," he muttered, having taken out his wand and now pointing the tip at the page. Not much happened except for the fact that all the light had gone out. "Lumos," he growled then stalked over to the shelf for a box of matches. He lit a match. "Transcumanato-*las*," he said in a firmer voice, trying out the less well-know and more formal command for a magical script to reveal itself. He smiled in grim staisfaction as the script began to unwind itself.

"Snape." He read. **Which one?**

He flicked over to the next few pages and tried out the charm again. The script began to unwind itself again.

He began to read.

"Today, on November 15th, 1960, I heard from my parents that Tessa has given birth to our first son. I began to contemplate how unfair life can be! The only journey I've been encouraged to go on and I miss being the first to hold my son ! Not only that, but it happened four days ago and they only sent the letter to me two days ago. I take it they weren't in any hurry to send it over, then.

"I wonder why?

"I am once again being the curious cynic. They should have sent the letter as soon as the boy had been born. No matter, they say that Tessa hasn't told anyone a name for our child yet which must mean that she would like me to help her decide. She gives more respect than I deserve, I swear. Even Rabbi Hauss' wife named their first son before he arrived and I know countless other women who often do the same. Even Muslim women, who are supposed to be the most meek - Ha! They have yet to met Phulan!

"Perhaps it is best. I shall leave this little hovel that I call Observation point #5 and head straight back home.

"I wonder if he will have the nose when he is older."

With that, Remus slipped a piece of coloured card to mark his place. It appeared that he had found the main reason that Snape had wanted these books.

He had found Samuel Snape's diary.

* * *

When Severus was four, his father had taken him down the Brighton seashore to have a look at the sea shells. He knew that his father couldn't travel any more, and so was very pleased that his father wanted to take him out so badly.

Their mother has packed sandwiches and drinks as well as a few cakes. Eleni hadn't wanted to come out because it was at this time of year that Mama always made her preserves of spiced peaches.

Severus didn't really mind that he was missing out on it, he had other years.

Father crouched down by a rock pool and beckoned his son over. The boy made his way over the rocks and pebbles of this part of the beach. When he'd got to his father's side, he knelt.

"Papa?" He asked.

His father had pointed out a waving sea anemone to him and explained how and why it waved it's tentacles and crept inwards whenever one touched it. He then started telling Severus about seaweed, something that Miss. Phelp's would have been able to make very boring but his father made it sound like the most fascinating process in the world. Severus was explained to that although seaweed was a plant, it was brown for the same reason that a normal land plant was green.

On the tenth anniversary of his father's death, Severus had journeyed to the mountains, having refused going back home for Christmas. He had climbed, somehow knowing where to place his foot each time. It was odd, almost as if instinct called him. He wasn't sure if his instinct was entirely reliable, however.

It was mainly due to instinct that he joined the Death Eaters. It was exciting, it was something to make him feel alive, it was something that kept him in control, despite the whirl that was life. A whirl that included Gryffindors and uncomfortable images of memories that concerned Dumbledore.

However, when it came to instinct, it was Brighteyes instincts that had made him leave the Death Eaters, though perhaps he could have relied on his own, except for the fact that it would have taken perhaps a little longer.

And when Brighteyes was dying, it was her instincts that encouraged him to make the new found Tail and - later - a much younger Rat part of their family. The only time in his life that he would ever have more than one rat at a time.

He could still remember them. Oh, he could remember them all, from the very first he had ever owned - a blue-black female who called herself Drop - to the present, and now a much older, Rat.

The pang of leaving Rat the way he had still cut deeply. He had to, however, because of hat he was about to do.

It was one thing to apparate across Britain. Another thing to cross continents.

The leaving behind of Rat, wouldn't have been his first.

He very much doubted it would be his last.

* * *

Remus knew that this wasn't the last of Samuel Snape's journals because it ended with Severus' first birthday, with Jona yet to be born. He wondered what else Eleni and Jona were keeping from their brother then realised that perhaps it was unfair that he be so critical and so wary when he had barely met them. But, with them for family, Remus felt rather sorry for Severus.

He watched the dawn from the western side of the Astronomy tower.

"Oh Severus," he said, voice croaky, mainly due to his lack of speaking that morning. "I wish you'd just talk to me."

**He can't do that** said the voice. **Would take all the fun out of it, wouldn't it?**

*

NOW.... just you wait until the next two chapters are done! Wheeeeeeee! You hav no idea how happy I am... @~0