I may as well not bother writing this: Saffy got it all.

You should have seen my best friend Beth and I giggling over The Nose when I told her about it on MSN. Gods. Thanks, Beth: you made me realise that it was sounding like the usual sentimental mush. I fallen so low...

*

Epilogue: Sandman

Remus wasn't quite sure if he were dreaming or not. It was something he had never felt before: as if the Sandman hadn't quite closed his eyes properly and as if Sleep didn't quite want to come near him. Some of it was quite nice. The rest was simply interesting. And mildly disturbing.

It was uncomfortable because it felt as if he was not only lying down looking up, but also at the top of the room, looking down. He couldn't move his arms, legs, waist or even open his eyes. It felt as if he were buried under tons of dark, heavy soil. Probably that with a higher clay content.

~

He called them 'waves' because that was how they came over him.

*

Severus.

Of course, he didn't know what time it was. It was still light, but that was probably just the normal ones they always kept. That was from the ceiling, though: all he could see was white.

Then the white shifted. Through that gap came Severus, something of an interruption with his habitual black against the regularity of the white background.

At first, Remus felt an odd, joyful sensation rise up within him. But then he caught sight of Severus' face and was rather scared by it: there were lines he hadn't seen before etched lightly across his forhead. His hair no longer shone; it was dull and dry - up to the point whre the ends were almost frizzy. The man seemed to suck everything inward, or simply repelling all light and outward feeling. Then there were his eyes. Before, they had appeared as dark tunnels that went on for ever. Now, even those tunnels were no longer present.

**He's acting as if I've died**

The man sat on the edge of the bed - ignoring both chairs on weither side of it - and measured out some liquid, methodically, though from this close, Remus could see that his hands were trembling very gently.

With a gentleness that Remus doubted that anyone else was aware of, Severus lifted up Remus' left arm and gently applied the needle to the skin, taking in a quiet and low, but deep, breath. When the needle entered, of course, Remus couldn't feel it. However, as he pressed the syringe, Severus rose his eyes to gaze at Remus' face.

**Oh God**

If he were conscious he would have probably melted in Severus' arms at such a look. Severus simply laid a gentle kiss onto his forehead.

Then he kissed his lips. Not that Remus could feel it, but he knew he was and he knew this was a very passionate kiss, one he would - in future - try to receive again when fully conscious.

"Wake up, please," the man murmured into his ear. "For me..."

**I'm trying... I am**

He drew away, took out the needle and blinked as if blinking back tears. Remus would have smiled to himself: he could dream.

~

"How is he?"

Remus' awareness heightened. That was Lira.

"Still stable." Madam Pomfrey's patient reply. "Do you wish to see him? Severus has been here plenty of times--"

"Well..."

"I assure you it's alright..."

"It's not that, it's just..." she drifted. "No. I'm being ridiculous. Damn pregnancy," Remus could hear the smile in her voice. "Let me go and see him."

"As you wish," Madam Pomfrey replied, also smiling as she spoke.

Footsteps.

The white parted and there she was.

Unlike Severus, she didn't appear to be in a state of mourning. She simply looked rather tired, though not exhausted, which was something of a relief for the werewolf. When she sat on the bed, her eyes were dark and serious. She seemed almost ready to say something, but couldn't, because it would be silly to converse with a sub-conscious man.

Lira simply gazed at his face for a while, then was interrupted by the noise of someone else entering the Hospital wing.

He could hear Madam Pomfrey and whoever else it was, converse hurriedly and quietly. Lira got up and walked round to see what was going on.

"Ssh," he heard Lira say after a while, as the footsteps drew nearer.

"He's still in a coma?" Said a girls' voice. Remus didn't recognise it.

"Mm-hm."

"Do you think he'll..." Another voice - a boy's - trailed off.

"He'll be fine." Lira said firmly, and opened the curtain.

With her were two children, a boy and a girl. Neither looked at all familiar to Remus but he instantly guessed that they must be two of Eleni's children, due to the resemblance between them.

**Well, Hogwarts is still standing...**

"What happened?" The boy murmured, eyes wide.

"He was attacked with a silver object." Lira started. "It travelled through his bloodstream but before it could do so extensively, as in to kill him, he had the anti-essence injected into him. We just have to wait and see what will happen..."

~

It was very tiring, Remus soon found.

He would occasionally try to lift up an arm or a leg. Several times, he even tried to speak to Severus. He'd also try just to open his eyes so that he could see the world normally. It was very odd when your eyes were closed yet you could see everything. He preferred it the normal way.

How long he lay there, he didn't know. There were no days or nights. He was only aware of people's presence.

-Hello?-

**muzzfiqwuinguoxlainai**

-Moon-dog?-

**whaffahuzznwana?**

-Now, now. Organise your thoughts or you will never get out of this!-

Remus knew that voice. He also knew that only one person had ever called him Moon-dog. He remembered that he was never sure whether to take it as a compliment or not.

**What... do you...?**

-Much better. How are you feeling?-

**Muchmnmnnnnbezzermiguzzle...**

-Oh dear. Concentrate-

**'M trying....**

~

-Moon-dog?-

**Yes?**

-Much better-

**Thank you**

-He acts as if you are dead-

Remus wasn't quite sure what to make of that. There was an odd feeling of detatchedness when you were in a coma. Even the serious things didn' seem quite so serious. They weren't funny, either... simply... interesting.

-I never believed he would ... do what he has done. I never believed anything to be so bad an affect on him, if I were by his side-

**Oh. What has he done?**

-He has stopped talking to me. Stopped feeding me. Stopped... ah... socialising as you call it. He has even stopped eating. He comes here too often. I heard his underlings say. They are worried too-

**What about Jona?**

-The arrogant one?- Remus didn't need to answer. -He is being most polite. I think he is beginning to Understand. As is the half-dog friend of yours.-

**Do you think that's good?**

-I don't know what to make of it. It's... different. Maybe it is good. I wouldn't know-

~

It was Severus again.

Now that he didn't have to worry about anyone else interrupting or watching him oddly, he liked these visits as they gave him the opportunity to take a good look at the man's face, which, although he saw it a number of times and had regularly kissed it, he'd never truly taken much notice of it.

Of course, the first thing that drew your attention to him was the nose. The Nose.

If he'd had a face, he'd have smiled.

It was large, no doubt about that. Remus wasn't sure if Severus wouldn't look any better with any other nose. As it was, he hadn't *quite* grown into it, but perhaps that had been the affect that Mother Nature - Mother Gene - had been looking for. Remus didn't mind, however. He'd never actually hated it - you simply don't hate a nose, for goodness' sake - but he'd come to rather like it.

Severus' face-shape was basically oval (the nose would have looked so much worse on a circular shaped face) and the skin that covered it was the colour of a tan that hadn't been out into the sun too much. Rather sallow, but not exactly yellow. Lately - as he'd noticed before - there were new lines across his forehead, but considering what he had, Severus didn't look so bad for someone approaching middle-age.

The hair... gods... there were times Remus thought he was just falling in love for the hair. Not quite greasy, simply very silky to touch and very shiny, though after an hour of standing over a cauldron of potion, it did have the tendency to feel uncomfortably greasy, as if someone had run a comb full of tallow through it. The werewolf simply loved the way it framed the man's face, the way it lay, the way it hung.

Curious, he thought, the bizarre affect that having black eyes could have on you. If you opened your eyes very wide, it would look as if all you had were two very large pupils and you'd end up looking as if you were on drugs. When not, you would look quite normal, except if someone was foolish enough to look directly into them, wherein they would find themselves feeling rather lost and awkward.

Severus' eyes were just lovely, if you didn't concentrate too hard on them. There was something about eyes that appealed to Remus - perhaps it was just the werewolf inside him, who knows? He was just lucky that Snape had rather nice ones.

Right now, with the man being so close to him, he wished he could reach out and touch him.

The syringe emptied out into his bloodstream. He was acutely aware of it. Yet he couldn't feel it. He felt himself getting rather annoyed. He wanted to *feel*. He hated this half-life... this...

-They called it a coma. I don't know. All I know is that you're alive-

**Thanks**

"Remus..." Severus whispered, jolting the werewolf away from Rat's mind. He had leaned forward and was pressing his lips against his ear. The man had both of his hands over one of Remus'. "I want you back... I *need* you back..."

"Severus?"

Hogwarts' Potions Master didn't move away immediately. Rather, he lifted his face away from Remus', continued with the syringe and when it was finished, calmly replaced his equipment back. He moved his chair back a few inches but didn't rise. He didn't respond apart from that.

"Severus?" The voice repeated.

It was Dumbledore.

Severus turned to face him. From the movement of his ears, Remus saw that he was barely smiling.

"I'm here."

"So I see," Dumbledore approached the bed and took the chair ont he opposite side. Severus' seemed to relax slightly. Remus observed Dumbledore carefully and saw that the old man looked *old*. It was rather frightening. Lupin wasn't sure how to think of him - as a teacher who had betrayed and used a student to sexually abuse him, or a kindly, wise, rather eccentric Headmaster?

"Of course."

Albus shifted and rearranged some of his ornamental robes.

**Must be hot, wearing that**

"You care for him, Severus," Dumbledore started, weary eyes on Remus' body. "I can tell," he added softly.

"Well, yay you." Severus replied, an exceedingly bitter edge to his voice.

Albus gave him a quick look, that spoke of apologies and empathies. "I am sorry Severus... I didn't mean--"

He didn't turn round to look at the man who sat just opposite the bed from him. He simply gazed at the wall, coldly. "You never do." Was all he said. Snape, after saying this, gave Dumbledore a cold, polite smile.

Now the Headmaster's gaze turned slightly different. It was a mixture of an inquistive glance - though he seemed to expect something... as if knowing what he would get - and an indignant one. Strangely enough, he was bracing himself. Preparing himself for an onslaught.

**I wonder why. Not acting like an innocent man, is he now?**

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean."

Silence.

"What is this about, Severus?" Dumbledore said, eyebrow raised.

Severus sighed shallowly. He licked his lower lip. He seemed to be thinking of what to say.

"A secret ne'er to be told, Albus." Snape had a little faraway smile to his face as he said it.

Dumbledore too seemed to be mulling over his own choice of words. "Have you told him?"

"No."

**Why did he--?**

-Silence-

**They can't hear me..**

-I can-

"Then why do you want to talk to me about it?"

Snape clenched his teeth. Released them. Clicked the fingernails of his thumb and forefinger against one another. "Because there are some things.." He began, his voice neutral. "That would be helpful for me..." A pause. "...lay old demons to rest, shall we say." The last phrase was painfully annunciated. Snape's eyes were drifting, sharp, pleasant and cold at the same time. Perfectly personifying the tension in the room.

"What do you want to know?"

"You're not stupid, Albus."

"Thank you."

"No need. It's common knowledge." Suddenly, Snape turned round completely in his chair, eyes serious and staring intently at the Headmaster of Hogwarts school. His abuser. "Dumbledore..."

Was that fear in Dumbledore's eyes?

"Yes?"

Severus took in a shallow breath. "You hurt me. You can't pretend you did-- "

"I never hurt you," he replied quickly, a little too sharply for Remus' comfort. "I never did anything--"

"--To harm me?" Snape leaned back a little, careful not to fall backwards as the back of the chair was what was supporting his side. "Not purposefully. But you hurt me. In more ways than one. And you manipulated me... toyed with my emotions--" he stopped. "My, hasn't that one been bandied around a fair few times, no?"

"Severus--"

"You made me believe, Albus," Severus continued, eyes flashing. "You made me believe that it was something *special* that you were giving me. Making me unique. Then you'd play around with it, hinting at the others that were woth more of your time, to keep me coming. God knows you knew I wouldn't have kept coming if not for the fact that I felt so goddamn *alone*." Snape exhaled forcefully through his mouth. "You knew that my father was dead... you knew that my mother was too worn down by grief... You knew so much," he whispered. "And yet you did the things you did..."

Remus observed Dumbledore. He seemed crumpled, worn. His eyes were filled with a weird sort of grief, depression... as if he had lost something or someone. Tears appeared to be filming his eyes.

**Does he know what he's doing...?**

-Aye. You just watch-

"I had my reasons..."

"Do you still have them now?" Severus asked relentlessly.

Dumbledore sighed. "You mean... have I used any other child to satisfy me?" He looked at the floor and swallowed. Severus had steepled his two index fingers against each other and was resting his chin on the point. "No." Was the simple reply. "No, I haven't."

Severus dropped interrogation mode.

"I take it you also want to now why, yes?"

"Mm."

A wry look to his face and Dumbledore took in a deep breath. "I have no idea what you go through. I have no idea what Harry, or any of my students or staff go through. Just so, neither do you or anyone else kows what I go through. What I went through... having the Ministry heap their little obstacles upon me... I could live with that, I'm older than their grandfathers, of course they'd ask me... juggling spies, different classified informations..."

"So you used me as something to vent out all your frustrations...?"

"I needed someone..." Dumbledore insisted quietly. "It could have turned out so much more differently--"

"It didn't. So shut up. And stop whining."

This silence was hard.

"I tried to vent... not my frustration as such.. but the love that I could-- "

"That wasn't love." Snape said shortly. "Love is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, when you receive it. If you were trying to make me fall in love with you... you went the wrong way about it... entirely... You made me feel dirty, used, soiled. Unclean. You are right. You don't know what I go through. I don't know what you go through. But just think of this: imagine. You think everyone knows about your dirty little secret. You think they're all whispering about you behind your back... to your face.. in their own little codes... references... The world closes in on you... A hand reaches out for you... you draw away because..." the previously quiet voice was now raised. "Because you can't stand to be touched! But a touch is a blessing! You're refusing a goddamn blessing... you get odd looks... which means that they *do* know..." Snape stopped. He put a hand to his forehead. "It's hell, Albus," he whispered, eyes on the floor. "Absolute hell..."

Dumbledore was about to say something. Snape went on.

"But I had to deal with it. I had to deal with it until I got to Unversity... met a man called Roger, who would have helped me an awful lot if he hadn't died in a car crash a year after graduating... but for what I had with him... it was wonderful. Being loved in that way, without the after affects that you left me..."

Dumbledore interrupted. "Why are you attacking me like this?"

"I need it. Ignore me."

They both stopped. The tension in the ward lessened.

"And Remus?" Albus asked gently, meeting Severus' gaze.

"I think I love him."

"You're telling me this?"

"I just did."

"Why?"

A shrug. "Convenient." Snape got up. Pushed the chair in. Exited the ward.

After the door had closed, Dumbledore got up and sat on the edge of Remus' bed. Blue eyes still on the werewolf's face, he encased a hand into two of his own. Leaning forward ever so slightly, he murmured, "I know, I know... you love him too..." he smiled ironically. "And I'll bet he's told you as well."

He left after that.

Remus didn't know what to make of it.

~

There was no white. Remus was sick of playing around.

He concentrated ont he blackness that was his mind and paid no attention to anything beyond that. He concentrated. He found he could hear. Normally.

There was laughter. He knew of that. It was like light to a seed. He simply reached out for it.

There was a touch on him... somewhere... he reached for it.

A whiff of perfume.

Dots of yellow light.

And he could feel the presence of others against him.

"Look!" A young voice called.

Then it was gone.

~

Only one other person there. He reached out. It had almost worked last time.

Light. Yes, dots... more dots.. *purple* and red and blue and...

Touch... smooth... silk...

"Remus?"

Flutter. Those were his eyeslashes. He could feel them.

"Remus!?"

Open.

He winced, the light hurt his eyes and was beginning to get too much for him. He felt slightly nauseated as well.

Suddenly, he found warmth upon his lips.

"Mmpf?!"

A laugh.

"Severus?" He heard himself croak. The man had turned away. Remus tried to prop himself up on his pillows and succeeded, though he felt a little unsteady. Severus turned back, now with a half full glass of water. He tipped it gently into Remus parched mouth.

"Thanks," he smiled. Severus held him gently.

"I'm so glad you're back." Was all he said.

"I can tell." He drew away. "Severus..." Then he forgot what he was going to say and simply smiled. So he decided to kiss him. "Aen't you going to call Madam Pomfrey up?" He asked mischevously.

"Don't be ridiculous," was the whispered reply, into his hair which made Remus shiver. "Keep you to myself for a while."

*

Snape is a bit harsh to Dumbledore, I know. That tends to happen: ever been in a really good debate with a best friend? Uh huh. See? Happens even then.

Thanks to all who reviewed. And Yahoo for having such a thorough search engine.

Finally. The End.

I sincerely hope you all enjpy the fifth book when it comes out. Try to keep Beneath the Silk out of sight and out of mind, yes? lol.

I love you all.