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Ok everybody, this is my first fanfic ever so please forgive me if its terrible. I'll take any and all

reviews even if you hated it (although it would be nice if it was constructive stuff hehe). So let

me know what you think and hope you like it. : )



"Person talking out loud"

'Personal thought'

~Telepathy~



~*~*~*~*~*~

Kurt rolled over restlessly in his bed, scowling at the bright red digits on his clock. 3:30 A.M. He was beginning to think he had some form of insomnia. His roommate, Evan, always slept like a rock and not even Kurt's endless tossing, which occasionally led to soft thumps as he ended up on the floor, could make Evan stir.

The possibility of heading downstairs to get something to eat crossed his mind but he quickly shoved the thought aside. It seemed that someone in the mansion was always going through either a phase of insomnia, a nightmare, or some type of personal disaster, and was down at the kitchen. It was the social hangout after midnight and Kurt, for once, was in no mood to be social, particularly with Kitty Pryde.

He sighed into his pillow. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Kitty, it was just that lately she had been bugging him worse than ever about ditching his image inducer. Her speeches on "showing your true self" were even longer than Amanda's. 'Well their true selves doesn't involve fangs and blue fur now does it?' He sighed again. He really couldn't figure those two out. He used to have feelings for Kitty, but since Amanda came along he had kinda forgotten about them. Maybe it was just that he liked Amanda so much or maybe it was because Amanda actually shared his feelings. Funny how much of a difference that could make. He tried not to think about it too much. It just made him confused. But when you can't sleep, and the only thing you can do is stare at your clock, the mind does tend to wander.

Amanda had been acting different lately. She always seemed like her mind was preoccupied and Kurt got the feeling that she wasn't paying much attention to him a lot of the time. It was getting harder and harder to spend time with her outside the halls of Bayville High as well. After the catastrophe of meeting her parents, Kurt didn't totally blame them for not wanting Amanda to see him anymore, but it still stung that they had been so terrified of him, even after he had behaved like a perfect gentlemen the whole evening.

Groaning, he finally decided he had to do something before he died of boredom. Whoever was in the kitchen would just have to deal with his crankiness, which was a rare thing anyways. He noisily yanked the covers off of himself. Casting a jealous glare at Evan, he headed toward the door.

As he expected, the kitchen was already occupied. Jean Grey was bent over a few books and writing furiously when Kurt plopped down a few chairs away. Jean glanced up and flashed him a tired grin, not really surprised to see that someone else had joined her.

"Forgot some homework," she explained, "Woke up about and hour ago and remembered I hadn't done it."

Kurt laughed a little, his crankiness was slowly subsiding now that the annoyance of not being able to sleep started rubbing off.

"I hate zat. Especially when you are really tired and don't want to deal wiz it."

Jean nodded and pushed her books away from her. "I'm glad you're here. I needed a break. So what brings you to the after hours social hall?"

"Couldn't sleep." Kurt said shrugging, "I think insomnia is like a virus around here or somezing. It just jumps from one person to za ozur."

Jean laughed and rolled her eyes. She poised her pen over he paper again then paused. "Is something the matter?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow and glanced around. "Did you just..."

"No," Jean interrupted, "You know I don't just randomly sift through people's thoughts. It's just you don't seem as..." She paused, not sure what the right word was, "animated as usual. That's all."

Kurt laughed nervously. He wasn't sure if he should be offended. "Is animated supposed to be a good sing, or just a polite way to ask why I'm not being obnoxiously loud and nosey?"

It was Jean's turn to let out a nervous laugh. "Well not exactly, but sorta. You're just usually slightly, um, hyper."

Kurt shrugged and decided he didn't need to be insulted. "I just have a lot on my mind. It's nozing serious."

Jean nodded and started to write again. She sighed and put her pen down. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

Kurt nodded.

"Well, why is it that you're always so...so..."

"Hyper?" Kurt finished for her. He grinned and revealed his sharp fangs. Their menacing look really didn't suit him, but a lot of the girls in the mansion secretly liked them. They made him look more mysterious than dangerous. Kurt on the other hand despised them. Not only did they scare people, it also made kissing a very laborious job for him. Amanda didn't have a clue, but he never really focused on the kiss, which made things more or less one sided. He had decided it was better than tearing Amanda's lip to bits though.

Jean sheepishly looked down at the table. "Yeah, I guess."

Kurt knew the answer to her question but wasn't really sure how to explain it. He squirmed and Jean noticed the unease on his face.

"It's ok, you don't have to answer that. I'm sorry."

"No, no. I don't mind. I'm just not sure what say." Kurt bit his lip in frustration. "It's complicated."

Jean just looked at him and Kurt considered letting her just read his mind, but then thought better of it. She would probably get more than she bargained for if they opted for that route. Instead he just started talking.

"See, when I vos little and supposed to be bouncing of za walls like average little boys do, I vos trying to make sure no one knew I even existed. People were terrified of me. I had to learn to never attract any attention to myself or people would...well zey just wouldn't be very nice to me. The circus helped some, but even there only a small group of people excepted me. So when I came here, and found out zat no one in the mansion really minded zat I looked the way I do, it was like being let out of a cage. I had to be quiet and try not to be noticed for so long zat I guess all that time of not being noticed just took over at once. I know I'm a leetle, err, over za top sometimes, but I just love za attention. I just never really got enough of it so I feel like I've got to make up for lost time or something. I am trying to tone it down a bit zo. I sink Rogue may try and sap all my energy one of these days just to get me to shut up."

Kurt looked up from the napkin he had been fidgeting with throughout his speech and gave Jean a half smile. Jean was looking at him, clearly surprised.

"Ja, I know. It's a lame excuse, but..."

"It isn't though." Jean cut him off. "I think it makes a lot of sense. It's just not the answer I was really expecting is all. I figured you hadn't really thought about it much."

Kurt cleared his throat so that he wouldn't laugh. The truth was he had thought about it a lot. He was glad Jean hadn't brought up how he was when he first came to the institute. He had needed to learn social graces basically from scratch because he had never practiced them. Once the professor convinced him that he didn't need to hide himself and that no one would do awful things to him because of his appearance he had his first chance to act how he really wanted. He was proud of himself to some extent because he knew how far he had come. Even when others, particularly Rogue, got annoyed with him, he could just brush it off.

"So, vhy'd you ask?"

Jean laughed and held up one of her books. "I'm working on sociology homework It just so happens the topic is on different personality types, and what causes them." Kurt smiled as Jean gathered her papers and books. "Well, I'm off to bed. Sorry if I offended you or anything."

"Not at all," Kurt replied.

Jean nodded and headed for the door. "Oh, by the way Kurt, Scott and I have to be at school early tomorrow so you'll have to give Kitty a ride to school in the morning." She checked to make sure Kurt had heard her then exited in a whirlwind of red hair.

Kurt groaned. So far had been able to get out of toting Kitty back and forth, but he couldn't avoid it any longer. He had almost forgotten that Kitty was one of the reasons he couldn't sleep but now she was rushing through his mind again. He really did miss talking to her, but he was afraid of two things. One, her lectures about his inducer and two, being reminded of all the things he liked about her. The last thing he wanted was to mess up what he and Amanda had because of Kitty. Looking up at the clock he decided he had better get some sleep before it wasn't even worth trying anymore. With a soft 'BAMF' he was gone.