((Sorry if chapter one was a bit confusing. That was Luka's POV of Carter and Abby's wedding; this chapter is Abby's. I wrote that when I was still afraid TPTB was planning for them to marry. I no longer think so, but I wanted to post this anyway.))

~

"We are gathered this day..."

Abby listened to the minister's words with half an ear. She'd heard them before. Instead, she split her attention between the crowd, and...John.

Even now, the name didn't come easily. Always at work, he was 'Carter'. Even when they'd started dating, the habit had stuck. Finally, he'd remarked in a slightly hurt voice, "You can call me John, you know."

So she had, when she'd remembered. She was getting better at it. She didn't want to hurt the feelings of her friend...boyfriend...fiancé...husband, in just a few minutes now. She searched his face. He was smiling, that wide, boyish grin that had always reminded her of Eric when he was young. Cute, if not handsome.

And he loved her. He was too bad a liar for her not to believe it. And maybe she loved him. If it was the same way she loved Eric, then it would have to do. With him, she was safe, safe in that he wouldn't hurt her...really, he couldn't hurt her. There was nothing he could say, or do, that would make her feel like there was a knife through her heart. Not like...perhaps it was chance, perhaps it was fate, but the very moment she forced his name from her thoughts, her eyes caught on his face.

He was almost all the way in the back corner, nearly hidden in the shadows. Perhaps not many would have recognized him...but then, she realized with a pang, she had seen him that way, often, drenched in shadows...only before, he'd been beside her, surrounding her, within her...not watching her give her hand to another man.

At that moment, she was startled from her thoughts by the minister's voice, raised to carry over all. "If anyone present can show just and legal cause why they may not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace."

A ringing silence reigned, and Abby realized she was holding her breath; let it out, flooded with - relief? Pain? She couldn't tell; she was numb.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife."

And it was done. She was Mrs. Abby Carter. She let that name sink in, silently comparing it to those that had come before...Abby Wyczenski...daughter of a mentally ill mother, her brother's guardian, always, struggling to grow up. Abby Lockhart...med student, nurse, divorcee, lost and confused. Abby Carter. Successful nurse, wife. All of her life, cut into three neat bits...but then, she thought, that wasn't quite true. Much though she didn't let it show, there was still that part of her that would always be Abby Kovac...woman in love.