Title: Remembrance of Time Past

Author: Lesley

Spoilers: The Portland Trip, Manchester, part 1, 20 Hours in America

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making a profit. Please don't sue.

Summary: Occasions not forgotten but revered.

This was in response of the secrets challenge that's been circulating about. 500 words exactly.

Many thanks to Shelley for the beta.

He is a man of occasion.

He still sends her flowers in February and April. Because he wants her to know that she is more than what she thinks she is. That he finds her not only valuable, but indispensable. Professionally, personally and at every point in between.

There are other anniversaries that they celebrate. The year is mapped out in a collection of victories and tragedies, which they weather together. Elections won and lost. Jobs and degrees. Houses bought and homes created. Births, deaths and marriages amongst their circle of friends and family.

There is her birthday in early November, which he never forgets. For years now, he is the only man with whom she celebrates this day. She no longer has a need to celebrate the passing of the years, to reaffirm herself, through an endless stream of meaningless trysts and relationships with other men. He has seen to that.

There are also those days that they celebrate quietly. These are days where he reflects upon fires, gunshots and windows shattering. Where her presence is always welcome and wanted. These are days where he clings to life - his life, and especially her - as tightly as possible.

She is no less cognizant of the importance of occasions than he is. But for her, it's different. On these days, he gives her space, letting her acknowledge her past alone. Every year, she secludes herself, lights a candle and sheds a few tears. He knows that she's never regretted her choice. But she still treats this day with a special reverence.

He doesn't think that she knows that he knows. He has never let on, never made her share this with him. It is her secret.

Strange that she's shared every other aspect of her life with him, except this one. She has never hesitated to tell him anything, no matter how painful or embarrassing for her. She told him about seeing Cliff, about the diary and the deposition that went so horribly wrong. She told him about the relationship that left her vulnerable and reeling. She told him about the accident that would eventually bring her back to him. But she never mentioned the abortion she had the day after the accident.

He doesn't know about the doctor coming in and telling her about the minor injury to her foot, which was then followed up with the announcement that she was pregnant. He also doesn't know that this didn't come as a surprise to her. He does, however, know about Jeff arriving somewhat later, smelling of beer and being dismissive of her. He suspects that this is when she made the choice to terminate the pregnancy, unable to count on Jeff being even remotely responsible, and uncertain of her own ability to provide for a child, financially, mentally or emotionally.

So, he allows her this personal time, supporting her without imposing upon her. Silently, he acknowledges the importance of this act of remembering. For he is a man of occasion.

Author's Notes: Okay, abortion is obviously a somewhat controversial topic. More than anything else, I believe it to be a personal matter. So, be pro- choice or pro-life, but do it privately. I'd like to keep things civilised, as much as possible. I had absolutely no intention of making a political statement with this fic. Rather, it has been written with the canon, and only the canon, in mind. Well, the canon, a premise and a suspicion on my part.

That said, if you liked or disliked the writing, please let me know. Feedback is cool beans.