THE MORNING AFTER THE LIFE BEFORE
-8 Years
Okay, so the unedited version has some NC-17 for sex and some for sexual violence. If you wanna read it, it's here: http:// www. angelfire. com/ ok5/ tmnt/ beloved/ ch8.html The song is "Hide" from Creed, it ain't mine. Please review, guys. I thrive on feedback.
MADONNA:
My eyes fluttered open slowly and I stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Early morning sunlight filtered through the window and cast shadows over the room. Another knock at the door, much like the one that had awoken me. "Madonna! Come on! You're late!" I glanced at the clock and did a double take. I was way late!
I sat up and rubbed at my eyes. The blanket fell, exposing me to the gentle breeze that came in through the open window. I clutched it back over my chest instinctively and looked around for any sign of Leonardo, the events of the previous night washing over me. "Madonna!"
"I'm up!" I called back, slightly annoyed.
"Well you could at least answer me!" she snapped.
I sighed and stretched my arms above my head, letting the blanket fall into my lap as I glanced around the room. I was very much alone. That didn't surprise me. I knew he had responsibilities. But why hadn't he woken me up to say good-bye? Probably didn't want to disturb you...
I kicked the blankets off and lay down, spread-eagle on the bed. It felt good to stretch out, without fear. I smiled as I remembered the feel of him inside of me. So gentle. I'd never felt anything like that before. Saki had always...
I stopped that thought right there and the smile fell. I didn't want to think about him right now. It forced me to remember just how wrong this was. But it felt so good. Felt so right. I wanted nothing more than to lie in his arms and forget that anything existed beyond the two of us. He made me feel so safe, so protected. It was in direct contrast to the utter fear I normally felt during sex. Especially with someone so much stronger than me. I knew he could hurt me so easily, probably without even meaning to.
I had learned long ago not to fight the strength of a man. I was not nearly strong enough to make him stop, and clenched muscles only made things worse. I'd been taught to be submissive, to do nothing. When he was through with me, he would leave or he would turn over and go to sleep. But Leonardo wasn't like that. He was so very different...
My skin tingled at the memory of his gentle touches and I breathed in deep, catching the light, gentle scent of spring. My hand moved to my chest, and I let it rest there unmoving as I thought of him. I wished more than anything that I had a way to contact him. I hated not knowing when I would see him next. You'll see him tonight, Madonna, I assured myself. He'll come back.
For the first time, I was forced to stop and think about that. What if he didn't come back? What if he'd gotten all that he wanted out of me? He'd not even left me a phone number. If he never came back, I'd have no way to even ask him why. Stop it, I chastized myself. He'll come back. Men don't just forget about the girl they've lost their virginity to.
Forget, no. Choose not to face? A stab of fear pierced through me and I sat up, forgetting how good it had felt just moments before to lie here. I pulled the blankets around me and swung my feet to the floor. A scrap of paper whisped away from my feet and fluttered a few inches to the side before coming to rest again. I stared at it for a moment, trying to place it, then bent down to pick it up.
Sorry I can't stay. I love you, Leonardo.
My fears were gone in a heartbeat. I felt a smile cross my face as I ran my fingers over the black ink. He'd come back. There was no question about that.
A knock on the door made me turn. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead."
I stood and pulled my robe around my shoulders, tying it closed as I pulled the door open. Kat smiled at me. "Good afternoon."
I blinked at her, confused. "What?"
"It's almost one o'clock, babe," she informed.
I felt my eyes get wide. "You're kidding!"
"Nope." She leaned against the doorframe as I turned away, leaving the door open. "Late night?" she smirked.
I swept the blankets aside and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I could ask the same of you," I observed, looking up at her. "I noticed you got out of here pretty fast last night."
She smiled. "I wanted to give you two some privacy."
I felt my face warm slightly and cut my gaze downward. For a moment, it was quiet. "So...?" she prodded, leaning forward and rocking on her heels.
I bit my lip and hesitated for a long moment. I couldn't help the smile that formed across my lips. I glanced up at her through my lashes and she motioned with her hands for me to go on. I looked up and sighed deeply. "Oh, god, Kat, he was wonderful."
She smiled knowingly. "I knew he would be."
"He was so gentle and slow and..." I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes, smiling contentedly. "Kat, it was perfect."
"So I take it he's coming back."
"Yes," I whispered, breathless again just at the thought of him. "God, yes." I hugged my arms over my chest. "I can't believe the way he makes me feel. He actually cares, you know. It's not all about him. It's about us."
I glanced at her and saw her smiling. "Congratulations, Madonna," she sighed. Her voice held an underlying tone of sadness, but she masked it as best she could. "You're in love."
MICHAELANGELO:
Leonardo was in the dojo, right where I expected him to be. He looked up as I entered. I'd caught him between katas. "Hey, Mike," he called quietly.
I forced a smile and walked into the room. I'd just woken up and I was still a little tired, but I'd lay in bed for long enough. I hadn't done much of anything since we'd gotten back from the farmhouse. I hadn't seen Raph, or Don although I knew where he was. Raphael had shown up unexpectedly - god knows how he got there - and had watched from a distance as we buried Splinter. He didn't say a word. When we were through, he was gone. I hadn't heard from him since. Don was still at the farmhouse. He'd probably be there for a few days. Last night, Leo had been gone, and I was alone.
"How are you doing?" he asked quietly.
I shrugged slightly. "M'okay."
"You sure?"
"No. But I'll lie if you really want me to."
His face softened. "It's okay. You don't have to lie."
I stared down at the mat. "It's kinda funny, you know?" I whispered. "How many times do you think he told us to stick together before he died? And now that he's gone, we're all in different places trying to deal with this on our own."
I could feel his eyes on me. They lowered as he bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, Mikey," he sighed, regret panging his voice. "I should've been here last night."
I shrugged slightly. "It's not just you," I mumbled. "'Least you came back home in the first place."
He studied me for a moment, not speaking. I looked up and met his stare. There was something different about him. I could tell, even from this distance. There was an air of peace around him that I'd never noticed before. It shocked me for a moment. It wasn't as if he had gone through mourning and come out on the other side already. I could tell just by looking at him that his heart still bled for our sensei. But there was something there, behind all that. A life in his eyes.
"She really makes you happy, doesn't she?" I realized.
His eyes widened and he tensed. "What?" he stammered.
I felt no emotion, and I wasn't about to pretend that I did. "The girl you brought here a few days ago. She's your girlfriend, right?"
For a long time, he said nothing. Then his head bowed. "Yeah, sort of."
I glanced away. "I'm glad," I offered, my voice emotionless.
There was another long silence. "Mikey?" I sighed as I looked up. "Is there anything I can do?"
I shook my head. "No."
He walked to the door, closer to me. "If you need anything..."
His voice trailed off and I nodded. "I know. Don't worry about me."
His hand rested on my shoulder. "I've gotta worry about you," he smiled weakly. "You're my brother."
He hugged me. I felt nothing inside of me, but I hugged him back. We remained locked together for a moment before he hit the back of my head lightly and pulled away. "You wanna go get somethin' to eat?" he offered.
I didn't want food. I didn't think I could keep it down, really. But I nodded. "Yeah."
We didn't speak of the girl again. It was enough just to know he was happy with her. I was glad he wasn't alone.
MADONNA:
I felt a light touch against the side of my face and my eyes opened. I blinked a few times, waking up from the light nap, and smiled as I saw Leonardo at the side of my bed. "Hey," he greeted. "What're you doing in bed? It's the middle of the afternoon."
I smiled and turned on my back, stretching beneath the thin blankets. I yawned and arched my back, then settled again, pulling the blanket around my chin. "I'm tired," I grinned. "You wore me out last night."
He blushed slightly, and I laughed. I reached toward him and touched the bottom of his plastron, but didn't make any blatent advances. I watched him as a concerned look crossed his face and he knelt down beside the bed. I pulled my arms back in and tucked them under my head. "I needed... to talk to you about that."
I felt my heart skip a beat. Sudden panic washed over me. Oh no. Was he calling it off? Did I scare him? I hoped to god he wasn't going to say what I thought he was. But that tone alerted me, and I felt my insides clench. "What about it?" I finally choked.
His eyes dropped and he swallowed hard. "I know... things happened kind of fast last night. And I just wanted to make sure it wasn't too fast. For you." He looked up, the look on his face displaying concern and worry. "If I jumped the gun, just tell me now and I'll understand. We can take it slower."
I studied him for a moment, confused. "Do you want to take it slower?" I whispered.
He stared down at the floor for a moment. "I have no regrets," he answered quietly. He looked up and our eyes met again. "But... I don't want to sacrifice the relationship that we have because of impatience. If... I went too fast... I just need to know."
I felt a smile creep across my lips. "No, Leo," I sighed. "You were very slow... gentle... everything I've always wanted."
He bowed his head again. "That's... not exactly what I meant."
I laughed quietly and leaned toward him. "I know what you meant," I whispered, bringing my fingers up under his chin. I raised his head and kissed his lips lightly, then slid my arms around his shoulders, using him for support so that I didn't fall off the bed, and kissed him deeply our tongues playing over each other. I laughed quietly as I pulled away, considering how ridiculous this was. We were both so worried about offending the other person. And I was starting to realize that there was nothing to be afraid of.
I moved back onto the bed and bent my arms in front of my face, peeking out over the top of them at him. I could feel the smile on my lips but I wasn't sure if he could see it or not. "Can you stay?" I asked playfully.
"For a few hours," he nodded. "And I'll try to be back tonight."
My grin widened and I moved back, lifting the blanket for him. "C'mere."
He smiled at me, then glanced at the clock and shed his weapons. I moaned contentedly as his body pressed against mine and I lowered the blanket over both of us. His arms slipped around my waist and he studied me for a moment. Finally, kissed my forehead. "You're so beautiful."
I smiled into his neck, then pulled away to look at him. "Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and kiss me."
He seemed startled. I laughed quietly and grabbed both sides of his head, pulling him into a deep, playful kiss. He got the message and flipped me onto my back, his hands running down my sides. "Hey, can I ask you something?" he asked casually as he pulled back abruptly.
"What?" I smiled back.
"Are you ticklish?"
I felt my eyes widen as my hands instinctively went down to grab his. "No!" I protested.
He laughed and his fingers brushed lightly over my side. Even with all my strength, I couldn't stop him. "Not at all, huh?"
I shook my head. "Not at all!"
He jabbed his fingers into my ribs and I shrieked, turning to the side to try and trap his hand between me and the mattress. It worked, but it didn't deter him. He moved behind me, one arm slipping underneath me to hold me still while the other circled above me, slipping beneath my T-shirt and running back and forth over my stomach. I tried to double over, unable to control my laughter. "Stop it!" I cried. He laughed, getting entirely too much satisfaction out of this. "Ack! No! Leo!"
He rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I was facing the ceiling, not him, but I was able to stop struggling as his hands came to rest, circling me. I relaxed slowly, but tensed up again with every little move he made. He laughed quietly. "You can relax," he whispered into my hair. "I won't do it again."
"You promise?" I pouted.
"You have my word."
I let my muscles unclench, resting my head back alongside his. There was a pillow there, and it wasn't uncomfortable. He rubbed against the side of my face and kissed my ear a few times. "You know what?" he sighed.
"What?"
"I don't deserve you."
I sighed, feeling his arms hold me tighter. "Don't say that," I pleaded.
"Why?"
"Because you're wrong."
He laughed quietly and nibbled at my earlobe. "No, I'm not. You're so beautiful. So perfect."
"I'm not as perfect as you think I am, Leo," I sighed. He moved down to kiss my neck. "Trust me, it's me who doesn't deserve you."
"Why?" he challenged.
"Because," I mumbled. "After all I've been through to suddenly have everything that I always wanted. Someone who actually cares about me."
"Mmm," he moaned, kissing along my jaw. "Loves you," he corrected. "I love you, Madonna."
I considered those words for a moment. "Loves me," I repeated, tasting those words. I had never known them before, and they seemed so strange.
"Yes," he sighed.
I felt his hands run down from my waist, over my hips, to my thighs. He parted my legs gently and I allowed it. I felt my breathing thicken as his fingers brushed the heat between my legs through my panties, touching me lightly. Then he used the fingers of one hand to pull them aside, and I felt his thick, callused skin touch the soft wetness of my body. I moaned slightly, opening my legs wider instinctively. That felt so good...
JULIE:
I lay still on his chest, my hair pillowed under me, enjoying the feel of his fingers on the back of my neck. They rubbed back and forth lightly, lulling me to sleep as my body eased down from the powerful orgasm he'd taken me through. My own fingers brushed lightly along the thin, fragile skin at his side, between his plastron and carapace. He was warm and comforting, and I wanted more than anything to know that he would be beside me through the night.
I knew it was a far off fantasy. In all the time I'd known him, he'd never once stayed with me through the night. At first I'd thought it was because of his girlfriend; he'd never hidden the fact that he had one. But even when they broke up, even when there was no legitimate reason to hide our casual yet intimate relationship, he still wouldn't stay. It just wasn't his way. And it bothered me.
"Stay the night Raphael."
He broke the calm, steady rhythm on the back of my neck and slid his hand to my shoulder, rubbing gently. "I can't," he whispered back to me.
"Yes, you can," I pleaded. I pulled away slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were closed, his expression emotionless. After a moment of silence, he opened his dark eyes. They reflected the light filtering through the window. I reached up slowly and cupped the side of his face, brushing my fingers lightly over his cheek. "Why do you always run out after every time we have sex?"
He laughed quietly, but I didn't get the joke. His fingers buried in my hair and he guided my head down to his shoulder. "I don't run out," he justified. "I stay until long after you've fallen asleep."
I nuzzled against him. His skin felt strange. It was smoother, cooler than a human's, but still warm. Not slimy by any means, but a texture perhaps bordering that. "Why?" I whispered, kissing him gently. "You can trust me, you know."
"I do trust you," he answered, his arms circling me again. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"But with so many limitations."
He paused for a long time, his thick fingers coming to rest at the nape of my neck. "I don't trust anyone unconditionally, Julie," he finally informed. "Not even myself."
I rubbed against him, slipping my leg over his. I knew that no matter how I was lying on him, he'd slip out from underneath me unnoticed once I fell asleep. "Maybe you should," I suggested. "You'd be a lot happier."
"Who says I'm not happy?" he defended. His voice had taken on that defensive tone I'd come to know too well.
"Are you saying you are?" I replied, keeping my own voice as subdued as possible. I had fought with him once before, and I didn't want to do it again.
He answered me with silence. "Just go to sleep," he instructed. I couldn't tell from his tone what he was thinking now, but the danger had subsided. "You'll see me again. I promise."
I felt a stab of sadness somewhere inside of me. "I want to see you in the morning, Raphael. When I wake up."
He sighed deeply. "Julie..." That tone was a definate warning.
I pulled away and looked down on him, my hands resting on his shoulders. "Please stay," I begged. "We can do it again in the morning. I'll make you feel good, I promise."
He sighed and looked away, the annoyed look on his face almost fading. "Julie, you're a good friend," he explained, "and I want to keep it that way. I'm not looking for a serious relationship here. I told you that from the start." I looked away. He had told me that. But the seriouness of his words, and what they meant, had never hit me before now. "If you feel like you're getting in too deep, just say the word and I'll put a stop to it." His fingers came under my chin and guided my eyes back to his. "I care too much about you to have you falling in love with me."
I felt tears sting my eyes at his words. "Shouldn't that be my decision?"
"You don't know me, Julie," he sighed. "You don't understand what it would mean."
I blinked back the tears. He didn't understand what he was saying, or what I was feeling right now. "What makes you think you can stop me from falling in love with you?"
"Try me," he challenged. It was definately a dare, even though his voice was gentle.
I pulled away from him and rested my head on his chest again, allowing the tears to overflow onto his plastron. "Yes, okay?" I choked. "Yes, I'm falling in love with you."
I closed my eyes. I had no idea what he would say to that. He sighed and ran his fingers through my hair a few times. "Okay," he finally whispered.
I glanced up at him, brushing tears back. "Okay? What's that supposed to mean?"
We stared at each other for a long moment, and I suddenly knew exactly what that meant. He cupped my chin again and pulled my lips to his, kissing me gently. I pressed to him, licking his lips in an effort to gain access to him, but he pulled away. I watched in horror as he slid out from underneath me, laying me down beside him. He brushed my hair back from my face and kissed my forehead.
"Take care of yourself, Julie."
My body ached from the withdrawal as he drew his warmth away. I watched him, speechless, as he slipped on his pads, tied his mask, and grabbed his belt. That was it. He walked to the window. I found my voice as he pulled it open. "Raphael?"
He turned back, but said nothing. I couldn't see his face in the shadows, much less his expression. "Does this mean I'm never going to see you again?" I managed, dreading the answer.
He sighed. "That's up to you, Jules. If you think you got it under control, you know where to find me. But I reserve the right to say no."
I opened my mouth to answer, but he didn't give me a chance. Without another word, he was gone. I turned my face into my pillow and sobbed.
MADONNA:
I reached back behind my neck and fastened the necklace, glancing once more at my reflection. The clock caught my eye and I glanced at it pleadingly. It was night, and he might show up here at any time. But I was leaving. Would he stay? My heart jumped into my throat with the thought that he might be here waiting for me when I returned, but I knew that was unlikely. I couldn't expect him to wait on me like that.
The knock on the door interrupted the music coming from my stereo, and made me turn. "Yeah?"
"Come on, babe," Kat called. "We're waitin' for your grand entrance."
I grinned. "I'll be there in a minute."
I turned back to the mirror and smoothed the front of the black silk dress down. I didn't really feel much like going out, but Kat had insisted. She and Leigh, a friend from work, had ganged up on me. So I was on my way out the door, just for the sake of going out and partying, dancing, hanging out. It had been a while since I'd done that, and I knew I should be excited about it. Really, though, I just wanted to stay here in case Leo showed up...
A breeze swept through the room and I turned, confused. I was sure I'd shut the window earlier. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw a dark figure leaning against the window frame, the thin curtains billowing around him. He laughed darkly as I clutched my chest, trying to slow my heartbeat. "Omigod, Leo, you scared me!"
He stepped forward and rested his hands on my shoulders. I could feel his warmth through the thin, dressy jacket. "Where are you going all dressed up?" he questioned as he kissed me briefly, his lips barely brushing mine. I wanted to throw my arms around him and not let him go, but I held back.
"Clubbing," I mumbled. "Or to the bar, wherever Kat takes me."
He raised an eye ridge in an amused, almost suspicious look. "Thought you didn't drink."
"I don't," I smiled at him. "But I don't have to be drunk to have a good time, you know. I socialize. I dance."
A sly smile crept across his face as he looked down on me, his gentle hands trailing down my arms. "Got time for a quick dance before you go?" he asked, glancing toward the stereo system as the song changed to a slower, more dramatic one.
"You could come with us," I invited. I said it before I really thought about it.
He shook his head. "Socializing isn't really my thing, Madonna," he whispered, leaning into me. He held my wrists and raised them, guiding my arms around his neck. "But you look so beautiful... Just give me a minute to hold you."
I pressed into him, smiling as I rested my head on his shoulder. I would rather stay here with him than go out any day. "You can hold me for as long as you want," I sighed contentedly.
His hands slipped around my waist and pressed to the small of my back, his thumbs dragging the silk dress lightly back and forth over my skin. To what do I owe this gift my friend...? My life, my love, my soul... I shifted slightly from one foot to the other, rocking back and forth in his arms as the sounds of a guitar and a steady drumbeat drifted through the stillness in the room. I've been dancin' with the devil way too long... and it's makin' me grow old...
I felt his arms tighten around me as he hugged me and kissed my hair. He nuzzled gently against me, and I felt his lips brush my ear. Electricity shot through me and I moaned slightly. I wasn't totally sure if he'd given me an invitation or not, but I didn't care. I brought my lips to his neck and kissed him softly a few times before running my tongue lightly over his skin and changing the kisses to gentle sucking and licking. Let's leave all this and get away... Get lost in time... Where there's no reason left to hide...
I heard his breathing thicken in my hair and he tilted his head away to expose his neck. I left dark red lipstick streaked on his skin as I raised my head and kissed along his jaw. His hands ran up my back, then to my shoulders. I felt him push back the jacket and I dropped my arms, allowing him to bare my shoulders. The dress beneath the jacket had only thin straps, more for decoration than for holding it up.
He leaned down and kissed my shoulder, his hands running down my arms again, massaging gently as they went. I felt his fingers lock with mine and smiled as I guided his hands around me again. I loved how safe I felt when he held me...
What you gonna do with your gift, dear child...? Give life, give love, give soul... Divided is the one who dances... For the soul is so exposed... I brought my hands back to his body, to his sides this time. I ran my nails down the sensitive skin to the very bottom of his plastron and gripped it, waiting for permission to touch him. He drew the strap down my shoulder with his teeth and I felt his hands on my upper back.
There was a soft, muffled clicking as he slowly drew the zipper down. But he stopped. Confusion set in as his fingers brushed my skin. Why did he stop? Did he not want me? Almost instantly, I was able to put the idea out of my mind. I knew, instinctively, that wasn't it. Briefly, I thought of Kat. Was that why? Because I had other plans? But he took precedence over those plans. Didn't he know that?
The realization hit hard. He did know. But he would still wait, still hold back until I said the word. The thought that my word held so much power astonished me. All my life, I'd never been able to say no. My reactions were handed to me. My desires were what they were required to be. But he was giving me a way out. No... it was the other way around. He was giving me an invitation, and it was my choice whether or not I to accept it. The concept was so foreign to me, I almost couldn't make myself respond.
I pulled closer and extended my fingers up and inside of him, brushing soft skin. He moaned and I felt him drop down slightly. He remained hidden from sight, but much more easily accessible. I stroked gently along the warm flesh and felt his fingers at my back again, running back and forth over my skin a little harder now. He kissed at the side of my neck and licked up to my earlobe, drawing it in past his teeth. I could hear his breath come heavy as I touched him, his lungs responding to the rhythm of my hand over his shaft.
"Can I take you?" he begged, his voice a desperate whisper against my ear. "Please? It doesn't have to be long..."
I wrapped my fingers around him as best I could and pulled down, drawing him out. "You can have as long as you want, Leo," I moaned as his tongue traced my earlobe.
I sat bolt upright, clutching the blanket over my naked chest, and breathed hard. I could feel my hands shaking as I drew in a few labored breaths, my eyes darting around the room. It was not his room. It was my own. I was safe here. I trembled, feeling the beads of sweat run down my forehead to the bridge of my nose. A cool hand on the small of my back almost caused me to jump out of my skin. I spun, taking the blanket with me as I nearly fell out of the bed.
"Shh... Madonna, it's okay."
I watched the still form on the bed as my heart beat frantically in my ears. It took me a moment to realize who I was staring at. I was not Shredder. It was Leonardo. I felt something snap inside of me and I collapsed into him, tears instantly flooding my eyes. They overflowed onto his chest and I sobbed openly, not caring what he thought.
I felt his arms circle me and his hands drew the blanket up around us, encasing our bodies in its warmth. My body trembled as I cried, the dream just as clear now as it had been when it had actually happened. Time and time again, the same nightmare. I could still feel his hands on me, still gagged at the taste that seemed to be in my mouth right now, even though there was no logical way that it could have gotten there. Leo's hands ran lightly up and down my back, brushing gently against my skin. "It's okay, sweetheart," he breathed into my hair. "Just relax. You're safe."
I clung to him, burying my face in his shoulders as I sought comfort from his touch. I hoped he wouldn't ask me what I'd been dreaming about. How could I possibly tell him? To dream of his enemy, that was bad enough. But the knowledge that such a dream was as real as I envisioned it... I couldn't think about that. It hurt too badly to think of what I had done and who I had been. Who I still was, although I couldn't accept that. His wife. His slut. A goddamn whore. And I could never get away from that.
Leonardo wrapped both arms around me tightly, holding me still in his warm embrace. My body was trembling, but it relaxed slowly as he nuzzled his face into my hair, kissing the rim of my ear lightly. "I love you, Madonna," he whispered quietly. "I love you. It's okay."
I forced thoughts of my pain-filled life out of my mind and drank in his words. Love. Comfort. Warmth. He kissed my forehead and massaged gently at the tensed muscles in my back. "You're okay, sweetheart," he assured me. "Relax."
I tried. After a few moments of trying, I succeeded. I felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in deep, and his grip on me loosened. I pulled back slightly, but he tightened again and wouldn't let me go. I blinked a few times, confused, and he nuzzled me. "Mmm... you're warm." He pulled me up to face him and kissed my lips gently. "Stay here. I like this."
I rested my head on his neck, and breathed in his dark, musk scent. "You wanna talk about it?"
"No," I pleaded.
"Okay," he answered quietly. "Okay, just relax. Go back to sleep. You've still got a few hours."
"I can't," I choked as visions flashed across my mind again.
"Shh..." he comforted. "Yes you can. I'll be right here. I won't let anything hurt you."
"You'll stay?" I questioned, begging him.
"I'll stay," he replied without hesitation. "Just go back to sleep. You're safe."
I felt safe as he rubbed his foot back and forth over the side of my leg, his arms circled protectively around me. "I love you, Madonna."
I swallowed hard as I drank in those words. Love. He loved me. Madonna. Yes, I had a name. I was more than just a thing. An object. I was a person. And he truly made me feel that way.
He sighed deeply and I felt his chest rise and fall beneath me. His fingers ran lightly back and forth, over the small of my back. "I love you..."
I relaxed in his arms and allowed his whispered chant to sing me to sleep again.
