{A/n OMG I deleted three pages worth of work and it was really good! I
worked for about two hours then accidentally deleted it! I could cry!! Omg
noooo! Here it is? again? and it?ll prolly be way worse because I?m so
pissed off?. Monday the 21 of April is my birthday too,?. In two days. Huh?
what a wonderful prezzie, piece of shit computer!!]
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Greg strained to hold onto the moldy coffee maker. He walked carefully down the hall. It stunk really bad.
Oh, am I ever going to get you for this Nick? Damn you, damn you to ---
He wasn?t able to complete his thought though, he missed a stair and crashed to the ground. Up flew the coffee maker, then landed squarely onto his chest, splitting into two pieces and rubbing it?s smelly contents all over him.
Wonderful? I definitely didn?t see this happening when I woke up today.
He sighed and got up. He picked up the miserable contraption, walked the rest of the stairs and dumped it as fast as he could. He stood there, gazing at the dumpster with it?s battered contents strewn all over. He saluted the machine mock-military.
So long, old buddy, we had some good times, good beans, good blends together.. . I wish we hadn?t, but still, it was a pleasure to know you. And to know what was causing my stomach problems for so long too. Haha, so long, old friend
.He contemplated how to get back to the locker room without being detected and, ineitable, embarrassed. He didn't want to give the secretaries anything else to talk about around the water cooler, they might decide to just stay there and never leave. But.. . what would he do? He didn't want Sara to see-- smell him like this.
Easy, just stay away from anyone with a nose.
He trudged up the stairs and into the hallway. Unfortunately, his brilliant plan failed when he met Catherine there.
"God Greg, did you rub that stuff all over you? Hold still." She grabbed his arm then released him as if he was diseased. She wrinkled her nose at him then began digging through her purse. She pulled a small purple bottle and with a flourish proceeded in spraying it all over his clothes.
"Cath! No, hey! Don?t do-" He protested, but it was too late.
Well, now I smell like a pretty rose? That grew in a garbage disposal during July.
"Cath, now I smell like some kind of weird flower!" She sniffed and commented on how it was impossible for him to smell any worse than he had been then walked off. He huffed and continued walking down the hall hoping that someone up there would decide to be on his side and persuade everyone to just stay away so he could avoid the stares. This just wasn?t his day
Well, at least it can?t get any worse?
But, as predictably as the placement of this time-honored cliché in a story, it did get worse. Much worse. Because what could possibly be better than meeting the girl you adore while you smell like a flower in a refuse pile?
How about having a gun to shoot myself??
Umm? who are you? Does this mean I?m schizophrenic?
" Oh, hey Greg! Have you- woah, what did you do?!? And is that Cath?s perfume?" She choked a little and looked at him quizzically.
Say something! You can wisecrack until the sky falls down so do something now and save what face you have left! Come on, Sanders! Use that charm!
"Oh? I tripped and it broke.. . and. Yeah. I smell, don?t I?"
She tried to look sincere.
"Not all that bad.. . but, um Greg?" She returned to her questioning stare.
"Why are you wearing perfume? It smells ridiculous. Like a flower in a dump."
He grinned and slipped back into his more familiar role as a comedian. He took a step back, put on a flashy grin and pretended to slick back his hair.
"Oh that? You noticed? I thought I should go for a statement, you know "Look at me, I'm a rose in a dump!" kinda thing. You should try it Sara, it?ll catch on pretty fast, let me tell you. I?ve already got the spokes- man." She laughed.
"Who would that be?" He smirked at her question.
"Well, me, of course. Where else would you find someone as handsome and talented in a place like this. You people. No fashion taste at all." She looked at him.
"This from the guy with Hawaiian shirts and rubber gloves on his head?" He laughed along with her, then took a deep breath to calm himself down. Big mistake. Sara saw and looked at him and he felt himself turn green.
"If you don?t mind, I need to throw up. See ya, Sara." He managed a slightly sickly grin before he rushed off towards the bathroom. As he pushed open the door he heard her crack up behind him.
Well, at least I made her laugh at what I said? or was she laughing at me? I hope not, but then again.. .
Damn it! I hate not being? I need to act like myself.
The calm, cool, wacky-haired, heavy-metal-loving guy. The reliable lab tech, the flirtatious ladies man. Or at least usually. Not this unsure, nervous guy who?s puking his guts out while he?s worrying about whether or not his co-worker is laughing at him.
He stood up, swaying a bit. He splashed his face with water, ran his fingers through his hair then left. He walked down to the locker-rooms and endured, (with considerable patience, he thought) three smell-related jokes from a group of employees at the water cooler.
Finally he made it to his locker. He dug through his mess until he came up with a shirt that that pretty much clean. It was a rather boring, nondescript black and red one, but at least it was clean.
Or at least the worst thing it smelled of was sweat and bad detergent?
He put it on, stuffed his old shirt into a corner before spraying it heavily with cologne. He looked at his bottle of Axe, shrugged to himself then misted himself with it several times?.
I may smell a bit? strong? but its better than rancid.
He slammed the door closed and started back down the hall. He passed Grissoms office. He hoped he wouldn?t have any special requests of him, Greg really didn?t want to have to explain his rather frighteningly strong odor.
I wonder how long it?ll take old Griss to realize the machines even gone?
He looked inside to see Grissom and Catherine deep into conversation. Catherine was smiling a lot, and Grissom seemed to be gesturing around.
I wonder if there?s something going on between them? They sure like to talk a lot lately?
Haha, I?d be more likely to dance the hula than it would be to see Grissom admitting he has feeling for Catherine besides ?boss to employee? Or at least admitting to himself? But who knows, maybe Cath will get him out of his shell.
Suddenly remembering he wished to not be seen (or smelled) he quickly made a break for his lab.
Safe at last!!
[A/N- we are sorry to interrupt this crappy story, but the author would like to wish herself a Happy 14th Birthday (its April 21, ppl!) and would also like to say she loves Matt. And if he ever found out would spontaneously combust (or help herself along if spontaneity was not an option.) Well, back to mah story!]
He seated himself down into his old desk chair and surveyed his kingdom. It was what he liked to call "organized chaos" but really that would be fooling himself. He was a neat freak, but the worst kind. The kind that only complained about the mess, but had no real plans to actually do anything about it. So he?d sit, annoyed with the clutter, but not wanting to break out the broom and actually get cleaning. It was a system he was comfortable with, he?d just eventually give up and either clean it or get over his fixation on neatness.
He looked up. No one in sight. And he knew the only case really was Nick and Sara?s. The others were stuck on old unsolved: granny who ran over a kid and two dogs who was suspected doing it on purpose but who had died halfway through the case and a child homicide where there was no evidence except the boy?s body. They weren?t really trying they all knew it was hopeless. Both had happened at least 4 years ago.
So he had a choice. Sit here or help Nick and Sara. Well, that was obvious. Now which one to help? Normally he?d pick Sara in an instant, but since he still smelled a little -strongly- he?d rather not encounter her again. Plus Nick was the one doing the body. So he?d have a better chance of finding something to do. He really did want to help, not just stand around.. . plus if he helped out maybe Grissom would see he wasn't always joking off and let him-
No.. . don't get you're hopes up. Just be happy with the job you have. Plus now it?s payback for old Nicky, even if it IS just making him gag. I?ve almost gotten used to the smell myself.
He got up and started to go over to the other rooms where he?d hopefully be, when he ran straight into the other person he?d hoped to avoid. Grissom.
No? I was on such a good streak of luck, no one came by for a while. Now I have to explain why I smell like I took a swim in a cologne pool.
Grissom stopped, looked at Greg then sniffed. He recoiled slightly.
I guess I did get used to my smell? I didn?t think it was that bad?
"Greg, is there a reason you smell like Catherine?s perfume?" He gave Greg his questioning look.
He almost looks angry. Wonder why.
"Oh, that? Long story. I?m on my way to help out Nick, he?s really swamped, so I better get going." Greg started walking and after making it a few feet away he felt a relieved sigh rise to his throat. Thank God he believed him and saved him from reveling the embarrassing truth.
He was just about to turn down the hallway when he heard Grissom?s voice ring out.
"Greg, if you?re looking for Nick. .. I saw him in the breakroom. He finished his stuff already." Greg blushed and turned down the hallway into the breakroom. He saw Nick sprawled out on a couch reading a Times.
"Hey, Nick, how?s the case going? And yes, before you say something, I am aware of the act I smell really bad."
Nick grinned but edged towards the opposite end of the couch anyway.
"That?s good, because if I had to be he one to break the bad news to you, I?d feel pretty bad. You dropped it, huh?"
"Yeah. Then Catherine doused me in that rose perfume she likes so much."
"I can tell. That and Axe. Not the greatest combination. Anyway, you got put on the case?" Nick asked.
"Mm-hmm. I have nothing else to do so I thought I?d help out you and Sara."
"And you?re over here with me because you smell that bad and you don?t want Sara to know?" Greg looked shocked.
Is it THAT obvious?
"She know. I ran into her already.. . how did you-?"
"Know you liked Sara? It?s written all over you?re face, man. Plus you two flirt like crazy whenever you?re together." Nick grinned and Greg turned red.
"Yah.. . I do kind of like her I guess. Nothing serious. So about the case?"
Please change the subject! The case, our boss, I don?t care if you talk to me for an hour about your ex-girlfriend!. Just change the subject!
He started getting uncomfortable.. . whether it was the smell, the intense heat or Nick?s questions, the cause was yet to be determined.. .
probably some of everything though.
"So.. . The case.. .?" Greg prompted after Nick just sat there grinning at him.
"Fine, we?ll change the subject.. . Don?t look at me like that, I wasn?t born yesterday Greg. You two have something going on.. . even if you won?t admit it."
Oh, I?ve admitted it.. . but as for telling her-! Yeah, that would go over well. "Hey Sara, guess what? I love you? Yeah, always have. So.. . Wanna go get a coffee sometime?" I?m sure she would understand.. . Geez, I?m getting so sarcastic. And I?m having a long conversation in my head.. . Yes Greg, you?re turning into a psychopath. Maybe you should - stop talking to yourself!-
[A/N- woah? Bad Christi! BAD! Taking? heh-heh? two months!! to write a short chapter? whoops. I feel bad. Well, trying to be a guy is HARD!! Maybe I should just make him gay.. . ?twould be easier to relate to.. . Waddaya think? ;) just kidding? well, read and review, please! I swear, I?ll write ore faster? I just had EIGHT friggin projects in TWO WEEKS!!! Stupid teachers? well, should be an easier ride for the rest of the year? I Hope.
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Greg strained to hold onto the moldy coffee maker. He walked carefully down the hall. It stunk really bad.
Oh, am I ever going to get you for this Nick? Damn you, damn you to ---
He wasn?t able to complete his thought though, he missed a stair and crashed to the ground. Up flew the coffee maker, then landed squarely onto his chest, splitting into two pieces and rubbing it?s smelly contents all over him.
Wonderful? I definitely didn?t see this happening when I woke up today.
He sighed and got up. He picked up the miserable contraption, walked the rest of the stairs and dumped it as fast as he could. He stood there, gazing at the dumpster with it?s battered contents strewn all over. He saluted the machine mock-military.
So long, old buddy, we had some good times, good beans, good blends together.. . I wish we hadn?t, but still, it was a pleasure to know you. And to know what was causing my stomach problems for so long too. Haha, so long, old friend
.He contemplated how to get back to the locker room without being detected and, ineitable, embarrassed. He didn't want to give the secretaries anything else to talk about around the water cooler, they might decide to just stay there and never leave. But.. . what would he do? He didn't want Sara to see-- smell him like this.
Easy, just stay away from anyone with a nose.
He trudged up the stairs and into the hallway. Unfortunately, his brilliant plan failed when he met Catherine there.
"God Greg, did you rub that stuff all over you? Hold still." She grabbed his arm then released him as if he was diseased. She wrinkled her nose at him then began digging through her purse. She pulled a small purple bottle and with a flourish proceeded in spraying it all over his clothes.
"Cath! No, hey! Don?t do-" He protested, but it was too late.
Well, now I smell like a pretty rose? That grew in a garbage disposal during July.
"Cath, now I smell like some kind of weird flower!" She sniffed and commented on how it was impossible for him to smell any worse than he had been then walked off. He huffed and continued walking down the hall hoping that someone up there would decide to be on his side and persuade everyone to just stay away so he could avoid the stares. This just wasn?t his day
Well, at least it can?t get any worse?
But, as predictably as the placement of this time-honored cliché in a story, it did get worse. Much worse. Because what could possibly be better than meeting the girl you adore while you smell like a flower in a refuse pile?
How about having a gun to shoot myself??
Umm? who are you? Does this mean I?m schizophrenic?
" Oh, hey Greg! Have you- woah, what did you do?!? And is that Cath?s perfume?" She choked a little and looked at him quizzically.
Say something! You can wisecrack until the sky falls down so do something now and save what face you have left! Come on, Sanders! Use that charm!
"Oh? I tripped and it broke.. . and. Yeah. I smell, don?t I?"
She tried to look sincere.
"Not all that bad.. . but, um Greg?" She returned to her questioning stare.
"Why are you wearing perfume? It smells ridiculous. Like a flower in a dump."
He grinned and slipped back into his more familiar role as a comedian. He took a step back, put on a flashy grin and pretended to slick back his hair.
"Oh that? You noticed? I thought I should go for a statement, you know "Look at me, I'm a rose in a dump!" kinda thing. You should try it Sara, it?ll catch on pretty fast, let me tell you. I?ve already got the spokes- man." She laughed.
"Who would that be?" He smirked at her question.
"Well, me, of course. Where else would you find someone as handsome and talented in a place like this. You people. No fashion taste at all." She looked at him.
"This from the guy with Hawaiian shirts and rubber gloves on his head?" He laughed along with her, then took a deep breath to calm himself down. Big mistake. Sara saw and looked at him and he felt himself turn green.
"If you don?t mind, I need to throw up. See ya, Sara." He managed a slightly sickly grin before he rushed off towards the bathroom. As he pushed open the door he heard her crack up behind him.
Well, at least I made her laugh at what I said? or was she laughing at me? I hope not, but then again.. .
Damn it! I hate not being? I need to act like myself.
The calm, cool, wacky-haired, heavy-metal-loving guy. The reliable lab tech, the flirtatious ladies man. Or at least usually. Not this unsure, nervous guy who?s puking his guts out while he?s worrying about whether or not his co-worker is laughing at him.
He stood up, swaying a bit. He splashed his face with water, ran his fingers through his hair then left. He walked down to the locker-rooms and endured, (with considerable patience, he thought) three smell-related jokes from a group of employees at the water cooler.
Finally he made it to his locker. He dug through his mess until he came up with a shirt that that pretty much clean. It was a rather boring, nondescript black and red one, but at least it was clean.
Or at least the worst thing it smelled of was sweat and bad detergent?
He put it on, stuffed his old shirt into a corner before spraying it heavily with cologne. He looked at his bottle of Axe, shrugged to himself then misted himself with it several times?.
I may smell a bit? strong? but its better than rancid.
He slammed the door closed and started back down the hall. He passed Grissoms office. He hoped he wouldn?t have any special requests of him, Greg really didn?t want to have to explain his rather frighteningly strong odor.
I wonder how long it?ll take old Griss to realize the machines even gone?
He looked inside to see Grissom and Catherine deep into conversation. Catherine was smiling a lot, and Grissom seemed to be gesturing around.
I wonder if there?s something going on between them? They sure like to talk a lot lately?
Haha, I?d be more likely to dance the hula than it would be to see Grissom admitting he has feeling for Catherine besides ?boss to employee? Or at least admitting to himself? But who knows, maybe Cath will get him out of his shell.
Suddenly remembering he wished to not be seen (or smelled) he quickly made a break for his lab.
Safe at last!!
[A/N- we are sorry to interrupt this crappy story, but the author would like to wish herself a Happy 14th Birthday (its April 21, ppl!) and would also like to say she loves Matt. And if he ever found out would spontaneously combust (or help herself along if spontaneity was not an option.) Well, back to mah story!]
He seated himself down into his old desk chair and surveyed his kingdom. It was what he liked to call "organized chaos" but really that would be fooling himself. He was a neat freak, but the worst kind. The kind that only complained about the mess, but had no real plans to actually do anything about it. So he?d sit, annoyed with the clutter, but not wanting to break out the broom and actually get cleaning. It was a system he was comfortable with, he?d just eventually give up and either clean it or get over his fixation on neatness.
He looked up. No one in sight. And he knew the only case really was Nick and Sara?s. The others were stuck on old unsolved: granny who ran over a kid and two dogs who was suspected doing it on purpose but who had died halfway through the case and a child homicide where there was no evidence except the boy?s body. They weren?t really trying they all knew it was hopeless. Both had happened at least 4 years ago.
So he had a choice. Sit here or help Nick and Sara. Well, that was obvious. Now which one to help? Normally he?d pick Sara in an instant, but since he still smelled a little -strongly- he?d rather not encounter her again. Plus Nick was the one doing the body. So he?d have a better chance of finding something to do. He really did want to help, not just stand around.. . plus if he helped out maybe Grissom would see he wasn't always joking off and let him-
No.. . don't get you're hopes up. Just be happy with the job you have. Plus now it?s payback for old Nicky, even if it IS just making him gag. I?ve almost gotten used to the smell myself.
He got up and started to go over to the other rooms where he?d hopefully be, when he ran straight into the other person he?d hoped to avoid. Grissom.
No? I was on such a good streak of luck, no one came by for a while. Now I have to explain why I smell like I took a swim in a cologne pool.
Grissom stopped, looked at Greg then sniffed. He recoiled slightly.
I guess I did get used to my smell? I didn?t think it was that bad?
"Greg, is there a reason you smell like Catherine?s perfume?" He gave Greg his questioning look.
He almost looks angry. Wonder why.
"Oh, that? Long story. I?m on my way to help out Nick, he?s really swamped, so I better get going." Greg started walking and after making it a few feet away he felt a relieved sigh rise to his throat. Thank God he believed him and saved him from reveling the embarrassing truth.
He was just about to turn down the hallway when he heard Grissom?s voice ring out.
"Greg, if you?re looking for Nick. .. I saw him in the breakroom. He finished his stuff already." Greg blushed and turned down the hallway into the breakroom. He saw Nick sprawled out on a couch reading a Times.
"Hey, Nick, how?s the case going? And yes, before you say something, I am aware of the act I smell really bad."
Nick grinned but edged towards the opposite end of the couch anyway.
"That?s good, because if I had to be he one to break the bad news to you, I?d feel pretty bad. You dropped it, huh?"
"Yeah. Then Catherine doused me in that rose perfume she likes so much."
"I can tell. That and Axe. Not the greatest combination. Anyway, you got put on the case?" Nick asked.
"Mm-hmm. I have nothing else to do so I thought I?d help out you and Sara."
"And you?re over here with me because you smell that bad and you don?t want Sara to know?" Greg looked shocked.
Is it THAT obvious?
"She know. I ran into her already.. . how did you-?"
"Know you liked Sara? It?s written all over you?re face, man. Plus you two flirt like crazy whenever you?re together." Nick grinned and Greg turned red.
"Yah.. . I do kind of like her I guess. Nothing serious. So about the case?"
Please change the subject! The case, our boss, I don?t care if you talk to me for an hour about your ex-girlfriend!. Just change the subject!
He started getting uncomfortable.. . whether it was the smell, the intense heat or Nick?s questions, the cause was yet to be determined.. .
probably some of everything though.
"So.. . The case.. .?" Greg prompted after Nick just sat there grinning at him.
"Fine, we?ll change the subject.. . Don?t look at me like that, I wasn?t born yesterday Greg. You two have something going on.. . even if you won?t admit it."
Oh, I?ve admitted it.. . but as for telling her-! Yeah, that would go over well. "Hey Sara, guess what? I love you? Yeah, always have. So.. . Wanna go get a coffee sometime?" I?m sure she would understand.. . Geez, I?m getting so sarcastic. And I?m having a long conversation in my head.. . Yes Greg, you?re turning into a psychopath. Maybe you should - stop talking to yourself!-
[A/N- woah? Bad Christi! BAD! Taking? heh-heh? two months!! to write a short chapter? whoops. I feel bad. Well, trying to be a guy is HARD!! Maybe I should just make him gay.. . ?twould be easier to relate to.. . Waddaya think? ;) just kidding? well, read and review, please! I swear, I?ll write ore faster? I just had EIGHT friggin projects in TWO WEEKS!!! Stupid teachers? well, should be an easier ride for the rest of the year? I Hope.
