BECOMING SOMEONE NEW
PRESENT
First song in this chaper is by Jennifer Lopez and I'm sure if you listen to the radio at ALL, you've heard it at least a dozen times. *sigh* Others are by Led Zeppelin and you're not likely to hear those on the radio. They are: Trampled Under Foot and Kashmir, respectively.
This is borderline NC-17. Deal with it. Or report me to ff.net moderators and be done with it. But don't send me hate mail. You've been warned. (This is one of my all time FAVORITE scenes, btw!)
RAPHAEL:
I'd never known Leo to be the type that would openly watch porn. Not that I for once thought that he'd never seen a steamy movie. But to the best of my knowledge, he never did it with anyone else around. Which is why I was so surprised when I stepped into the living room and saw him laid back on the couch, Mel's head on his shoulder, watching a loud climatic moment on the TV screen.
I blinked a few times, wondering for a moment if I could be hallucinating. But no, there he was, watching the couple on the screen with a sort of confused look on his face. "You know, that doesn't look too comfortable," he observed.
The angle of the TV prevented me from seeing exactly what he was commenting on, but the sounds were enough. Mel giggled. "She seems to be enjoying it."
Leo's facial expression turned even more confused. "Apparently," he answered dryly.
Melanie glanced up at him. "Ever tried it?"
"Can't say that I have."
She rubbed up against him, her hand coming to rest on his thigh. "Don't knock it 'til you try it, Leo. Might actually be kinda fun, ya know?"
I stepped further into the room and made my presence known. Leo turned, sensing my approach. He tensed noticeably as he saw me. "Hey, Raphael," he greeted.
Melanie sat up, retracting her hand, and looked over at me. Leo's hand went for the remote, and the movie was quickly stopped. "Where've you been?" Mel asked casually. I hadn't seen her in almost five full days.
I knew my eyes were wider than I wanted them to be. Took me a minute to find my voice. And even when I did, I realized I didn't have a good answer. "Busy," I finally managed.
"You've been out?" Leo questioned, glancing toward the entrance. "I didn't hear you come in."
"Yeah," I lied. "Where's Kat?"
Leo nodded toward my bedroom door. "Sleeping."
I knew that. Where else would she be at this time of night? But I couldn't think of anything better to say. I blinked a few times, searching for my voice. "So... what're you watching?" Blatent. But I'd never been one to beat around the bush.
Leo's face flushed and Melanie laughed. "I went out and rented a couple of movies today," she explained casually. "Just kinda picked one at random. Wanna watch?"
Leo's eyes widened at the suggestion, but he cut his gaze away and didn't speak. I studied him for a moment, then shook my head. "No, that's okay."
I glanced at them once more, then turned away, heading for my room. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew it was none of my business. But at the same time, what I saw had worried me more than I could describe.
I slipped into my room silently and my eyes quickly adjusted to the candle light. Katarina was asleep. That was okay. I didn't really want to talk to her right now anyway. I closed the door behind me and took off my mask and pads, dropping them on the floor. I set my belt down carefully and blew out the flame as I slipped underneath the blankets next to her warm body. She moaned slightly as my arm circled her, and I buried my face in her soft hair.
I ran my hand down her side and slipped it underneath the long nightshirt, carressing her hip. She had nothing on beneath the shirt; she never did. I smiled in spite of the many thoughts running through my head that were not condusive to erotica and pressed hard to her back. I stared for a moment at the darkness, and my thoughts flickered back and forth between my own problems, and Leo's. My hands were tied in both cases, and I hated it.
I closed my eyes as my mind finally came to rest on Mel. Really, I had no right to question Leo. What he did with Melanie was no more my business than what I did with Kiara was his. I pulled closer to the warm body beside me and she moaned slightly, nuzzling her face into the pillow. I reached up and brushed her dark hair out of her eyes, then kissed her cheek. Satan's daughter.... and I couldn't love her more.
LEONARDO:
"Do it slower, Salome."
She groaned. "I already am doing it slower!"
I sighed inwardly. "Come on, Sal, again."
She heaved a sigh and slid her right foot forward, bending her right arm and bringing it in defensively, holding the other behind her. She turned to the right at a moderately slow pace and swept her foot along the floor of the dojo as she brought it forward into a left-forward stance. "You're dragging again," I informed her.
She broke the stance and jumped up and down a few times, whining. "Leo-sensei, can't we be done?"
No sooner had I felt the presence enter the room than I knew I was under attack. I spun defensively just in time to be tackled by Michaelangelo. "Ah!"
I hit the mat on my back and flipped him over me. He scrambled to his feet and grinned as he motioned to the little girl behind me to clear the way. Salome giggled as she darted off the mat and I braced, eyeing Mike carefully. "What was that for?" I questioned.
He shrugged. "No reason."
He sprang forward and I blocked him, then spun to the side to avoid another attack. I was at his back in a flash, but he turned before I could launch my own attack. I spun in the direction opposite his turn and delivered a roundhouse kick, dropping then to a sweep. He avoided the first, but stumbled with the second as I connected.
He just barely managed to avoid the string of attacks, and launched a feeble attempt at my neck, of all places. As if I was going to let him get that close when I had the upper hand in the first place. I knocked his hands aside and kicked forward, sending him flying back. He couldn't regain his balance in time and a simple sweep at his legs brought him down. In a flash, I pulled my weapon and had the tip of it to his throat. He blinked a few times, trying to figure out how he'd ended up on the floor. The entire exercise had taken about ten seconds.
"You're losing your touch, Mikey," I grinned down at him.
"Yeah, yeah, alright," he grumbled. "Rub it in, why don'tcha?"
I pulled the blade aside and offered him my other hand. He took it, and made every attempt to pull me over as he regained his balance. I almost forgot that it was a katana in my hands rather than the wooden bokken. I could've accidentally taken his head off right then and there. Instead, I managed to pull away from him and he smirked back as I sheathed my weapon again.
"That was pretty fast though, huh?" he grinned.
I laughed. "The attack? Or the time it took to disperse it?"
He shot me a pathetic look and Salome giggled. "You guys are real good."
I wasn't about to get into the stealth tactics of Michaelangelo's original attack. I'd heard him a mile away, but he could go ahead and think for now that I hadn't. He ruffled Salome's hair as she approached us. "Practice makes perfect, kiddo," he told her.
"Do you still do the boring stuff?"
Mike shot me a knowing smile. "Only when I have to."
"When I can take you down in ten seconds, you have to."
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, so I'm a slacker. You still gotta love me."
Salome looked to me. "Sensei, can I go?" she pleaded.
I nodded to her. Mike had ruined all hope of concentration for the rest of the evening. "Go ahead."
"Yay!"
She was out of the dojo in a flash. I stared after her for a moment before turning to Mike. He pulled his weapons and twirled them around him in a fancy show. "Wanna play?" he joked, coming to rest in a defensive stance.
I glanced away. "Not particularly."
The nunchakus hit the floor and he stumbled back as if he'd just been shot in the stomach. "Omigod! Leo doesn't want to practice! Call the press!"
I shook my head slightly as I looked away. "Not funny, Mikey."
He swept his weapons off the floor and shoved them back in his belt. "So what is it? Cold? Flu? Slight case of impending death?"
I sighed, but didn't answer.
"Alrighty then. I'll just go find someone else to spar with. Whaddaya think of that?" His voice held the taunting, teasing tone he liked to use when he didn't want to be taken too seriously.
"Whatever, Mikey. I think Don's in his room."
He turned to me. "He's actually home for more than ten minutes?"
"He was here this morning when I got up."
"He talk to Amy?"
I shrugged. "That's his business, not mine," I answered him.
Mike nodded. "Know where Raph is?"
I shook my head. "He's around here somewhere. Kat's in her room, I think. I'm sure she'd go a few rounds with you."
He waved, acknowledging me, and left without another word. I leaned forward against the weapons rack, my mind drifting back through the years, captured so perfectly in my dreams from the past few nights. Why now? Why was all of this hitting me now? I wasn't sure I was strong enough to deal with it right now. I felt eyes on me and quickly identified the intruder, standing in the doorway. "What do you want, Raph?"
He was quiet for a moment. Then I felt him take a few steps into the room. "A straight answer."
"To what?" I asked quietly.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
I stopped and looked up at him. That question had come out of the clear blue, and I could hardly believe he'd just asked me it. "What?"
"With Mel," he sighed. "I know it's not really any of my business but I gotta know. You know I won't judge you, but I gotta break it to Kat nice and slow."
I sighed deeply and shook my head. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's not like that, Raph."
"Well, I believed you until I see you watching goddamn porn with her on the living room sofa, Leo."
His words cut. I wasn't sure exactly why. In a flash, I'd spun back around to face him. "That's none of your business," I glared.
His defenses were up in a heartbeat. When he spoke again, his voice held an icy edge to it. "Look, I told you, I ain't tryin' to judge you..."
"Well then don't!" I interrupted. "And don't just assume that because I sympathize with her, I'm automatically sleeping with her."
He sighed. "Look, I know it's none of my business whether you..."
"You're damn right it's none of your business!" I interrupted him. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, watching me with a skeptical, oddly resigned look. I cut my gaze away from him and remained silent for a moment. "Look, I've already been burned once, Raph," I reminded him, my voice quiet but still harsh. I raised my eyes slowly and looked at him again. "I'm not gonna let it happen again, okay?"
He rolled his eyes. "Leo, don't give me that."
"Give you what?" I demanded.
"That self-pity bullshit," he shot back. "This has nothing to do with Madonna so keep her out of it. Now are you falling for Melanie or not?" I stared at him for a moment, caught off guard by his words. "Honestly," he added. I looked away and didn't answer. My emotions were running wild and I couldn't find the words or even the thoughts to express them. "Leo?"
His voice was pleading. Finally, I turned back to him. "No," I answered coldly.
"No?"
I shook my head slightly. "No."
I stared him straight in the eye and he sighed. I wasn't totally sure if he believed me or not, but I didn't think he did. He watched me for a moment, and didn't say a word as he turned and left the room.
AMY:
Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got... I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block...
Katarina gripped the steering wheel tightly, her eyes focused on the road. She hadn't said a full sentence in all the time we'd been out. Next to me in the back seat, Salome was singing along with the radio. Beside Kat, Melanie was quietly smiling. I could see her in the side rearview mirror.
Used to have a little now I have a lot... Anywhere I go, I know where I came from...
I considered the words to the song as I looked out the window at the cars we passed. "You know," I finally mumbled. "I don't think I really get this song."
"What do you mean?" Mel asked, looking over her shoulder at me.
"Well... it's just that... It's like she's trying to say she's the same person she always was. Like she's trying to cling to the past instead of embracing what she's become now. Change isn't always bad."
Mel considered that for a minute. "I think she's just trying to say that all the fame hasn't made her forget where she came from."
"But if she's not the same person, what difference does it make where she came from?" Mel didn't answer for a moment, so I continued. "I mean, things change us. I know where I came from, but that has nothing to do with who I am now."
"Sure it does," Melanie answered. "I think who we are is formed when we're very young." She turned and looked straight at Kat. "Even if we try to hide it, we can never change it. Our past is a part of us. Without it, we wouldn't be who we are."
It was a direct insult to Katarina, and I knew it. I considered the words for a moment, silently wondering if Kat would answer. She didn't. "Sometimes we run from who we are, but it doesn't change it," Mel grinned.
Kat shifted slightly and I felt the car accellerate. I glared at Mel. I hadn't meant to give her an avenue to attack Katarina. "Or maybe it just takes some of us a while to figure out who we are," I offered.
"I don't think we can control that," Mel answered. "I think it's decided for us. By our peers and our parents."
Without warning, Kat pulled the car over to the side of the road, slamming the brakes. I pressed against the back of the passenger seat and Salome cried out in surprise. Kat glared at Melanie, fire flashing in her eyes. "Shut up, or get out," she growled.
Mel grinned. "Did I hit a sore spot?"
Kat's eyes narrowed into slits. "You're lucky there's a child in this car, Melanie," she hissed.
"They say the only insults that hurt are the ones that are true."
Hatred flashed and Kat gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Get. Out!"
Mel opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk, slamming it closed again. Kat pulled away and I stared in shock. "You're not just gonna leave her there, are you?" I questioned.
"Kitty, she'll get lost!" Salome cried.
Kat didn't answer as she continued to drive, her eyes locked on the road.
RAPHAEL:
Physical Graffitti. Kat's signature album. Every time I heard its familiar echo through the lair, I cringed. It was her warning to the world around her: "Don't fuck with me; I'm in a bad mood right now." I walked the few remaining steps down from the entrance and saw her shadow in the kitchen.
Grease me down... good electric...
The lyrics rang in my ears as I approached with caution. The cupboards were empty and the dishes were all stacked on the table. She was on her knees on the edge of the counter, scrubbing the inside of the cabinet. I cringed. She was cleaning. That wasn't a good sign.
Mama let me pump your gas... Mama let me do it all...
"Hey, baby."
"Go. Away." Her voice was a low growl. She didn't look up.
"It's pretty hopeless," Don informed from behind me. I turned as he walked out of his room, dressed to go up to the surface. "I've tried and she almost bit my head off."
"Shut the fuck up, Donny!" she yelled. The way she was pressing on those cabinets, I was surprised they weren't falling off the walls.
Talk about love... Talk about love... Talk about...
Donatello shrugged. "See what I mean?" he added quietly. "I'm going up. My computer crashed and I don't have time to reformat it so I gotta go on a little field trip for the information I need. You interested?"
"Should I be?"
"Not particularly."
"Then no," I answered simply. "Who else is here?"
"Salome and Amy are watching a movie in her room. Mike and Leo are both out looking for Mel."
"Looking for Mel?"
"Kat dropped her off at the side of the road."
I cringed. "That's my girl..." I mumbled. I had to wonder what she'd said this time.
Don nodded and turned toward the door. "Be careful, huh?" he advised, nodding toward Kat.
"I think I can handle myself," I answered, unwisely loud enough for Kat to hear.
Kat spun to face me so fast she nearly fell off the counter. Her eyes flashed in anger, but she kept her teeth clenched as Don sprinted for his life. Guaranteed to run for hours...
I leaned against the doorframe and took my hat off. I tossed it at Katarina. In a flash, she'd reached to her belt, twirled her knife, and pierced through it. I was only slightly surprised. She'd left the knife lately and adopted the staff. I wondered why she had switched back , and if there was any significance to it.
She held my hat on the knife behind her and glared at me. "I mean it, Raph," she growled. "You stay the fuck away from me."
I nodded, acknowledging her request, though she had hardly meant it as one, and she flicked her wrist, sending the hat sailing back to me. I caught it easily and turned away. I can't stop talkin' about... I can't stop talkin' about...
I hung the hat up, along with the jacket, and returned to the kitchen. She was off of the counter now, on her feet with her back to me. I sighed as I watched her, then approached silently. She spun at the last second, before I touched her, and leaned back on the counter as she held the knife, again retrieved more quickly than I'd thought she was capable of, with the blade to my neck.
I stared at her for a moment, not particularly intimidated by her although I knew she could easily slice my throat. "You need to put that away, baby, before somebody gets hurt."
Her eyes narrowed into slits. "That's the idea."
Come to me for service, every hundred miles... Baby let me check your oil, fix your overdrive... I leaned into her slightly, well aware of how sharp that knife was, and she jerked back, pressing slightly harder. I felt pain and a thin trickle of blood, and froze. "Back. Off," she hissed.
I put my foot back, careful to remain steady, and slowly shifted my weight. She followed me until she was standing upright. Then she eased up on the pressure and I swallowed. She hadn't cut me bad, of course. I probably wouldn't even be noticeable to anyone who hadn't seen it happen. As I took another step back, she lowered the blade slightly and I saw my opportunity. She wasn't relaxed, by any means. But I really didn't need her to be. She was fast, but I was still faster.
My arms darted out, crossing before they grabbed hers, and I had her spun around before she could blink. My grip was around the wrist of one hand and the fingers of the one that was armed. I pinned both her legs with one of mine, pressing her to the counter, and rested my head on her shoulder. I'd blocked every possible attack. She struggled for a moment, but quickly realized her strength was no match. Finally, she gave up and turned her head to glare at me.
"Drop the knife," I ordered, smiling at my success.
"Fuck you."
I can't stop talkin' about love...
I leaned my head toward her and she pulled away as far as she was able. It wasn't far enough. I licked the side of her face, one stroke from her chin to the edge of her eye. She struggled, but remained quiet. I kissed her cheek and down to her neck, amused by her resistance as my fingers working to pry the knife out of her hand. "Don't make me hurt you..." I warned playfully.
"Go ahead, Raph," she snapped. "See what happens to you while you're sleeping tonight."
I grinned. "You gonna tie me up and torture me?"
"You won't like it," she promised.
I sucked hard on her neck and finally managed to pry her fingers off of the weapon. Oh, my baby... I can't stop talkin' about love... I leaned in to kiss her and she jerked back. "Stick your tongue in my mouth and you might not get it back," she warned.
I smiled at the threat. She was being dramatic, and I knew it. If she was really as mad at me as she was talking like she was, she'd be threatening to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. She knew how to hit me where it hurt. It wasn't me she was pissed at, it was Mel. And I knew that before she said a word to me. And despite her words, I hadn't pushed her over the edge yet. I'd know when that happened.
So I played her game. She wasn't mad at me, but she was mad. She wouldn't hesitate to vent that anger on me, as the slight trickle of blood over my neck proved. I spun her back around and grabbed the knife, letting go of her hands in the process, but making sure to pin her legs again. As I'd expected, her hands went to attack me. She stopped short as she felt cold steel against her throat, and tipped her head back slightly.
The song stopped. For a moment, it was quiet. Neither one of us breathed. The next one started. Kashmir. "You know, it's kind of sad that I know the names of these songs," I informed her. "I don't even like Zeppelin."
I pressed to her and kissed her hard, heeding her warning from earlier, then backed off to see her watching me. There was no fear in her eyes, and the anger had lessened noticeably. It was replaced with a look of defiance. Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face...
I tuned out the words and concentrated on her expression. She didn't speak as I ran the sharp blade across her neck, careful not to cut her, knowing her level of control would keep her still. If she swallowed - hell, if she breathed - she'd be bleeding. I watched her eyes carefully so that I'd be able to tell when it became necessary. But I knew she could hold out just as long as I could.
I pulled the blade away from her, leaving just the tip against her neck, and ran it down the center of her throat. Fear flickered just slightly and I moved down to the top of her chest, allowing her to take a breath. She still didn't speak as the icy metal moved over her smooth, warm flesh. It came into contact with the collar of her T-shirt and finally, she swallowed, her glaring eyes steady on mine.
The fabric split with little resistance; that blade was about as sharp as Leo's katana. The scent of my own blood gave way to a new smell that I knew my human girlfriend couldn't sense. "Is this turning you on?" I whispered, pausing the downward cut.
She glared at me. "No."
"Don't lie to me," I grinned. "I can tell."
"Fuck off."
"Maybe I will..."
She might've attacked me at that point if I hadn't had the knife against her skin. As it was, she remained still as I slit the shirt all the way to the bottom. She smiled at me wickedly. "Now what're you gonna do?" she challenged. "You can't get it offa me without taking the knife away."
"You're right," I realized, grinning as I considered an even better idea. I ran the flat surface of the blade up the center of her torso, over the white lace bra and back to the base of her neck, resting it on her shoulder. "You do it," I suggested.
She growled low. "Go fuck yourself, Raph."
I'd been half-expecting that. "I'd rather fuck you," I answered her.
"Kinda hard with only one hand," she grinned evilly.
"What do I need hands for?" I challenged. "Foreplay?" I laughed at the thought. As if this wasn't foreplay enough. She was more turned on by this than I was, and she knew it as well as I did.
I reached down and unsnapped her jeans, watching her defiant expression as I pulled the zipper down. She knew what to say to get me to stop. I was sure I'd know if I stepped over the line. All it took was one well-aimed threat, and she could bring this to a close right now. But she remained silent, jaw clenched, watching me with that angry fire in her eyes.
My hand slipped inside of her loosened jeans and she clenched her thighs together. I smiled and pressed a little harder on the knife. Her eyes widened slightly and she relaxed her muscles. My finger slipped down, between her legs, and I massaged through her wet panties, watching as she tried to control her breathing. "You sure you're not getting excited?" I teased. Her eyes flashed and she tensed, glaring at me. "You want me to fuck you?"
"No," she hissed.
I ran the sharp edge of the blade down from her neck to between her breasts and sliced through her bra a millimeter at a time. She didn't move. She barely even breathed. I pressed harder between her legs and saw her eyes close as she concentrated on not shifting her position. I paused for a moment with the flat side of the blade against her in case she did squirm. I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't think she'd move. She had too much pride to give in so easy.
The cold, defiant look was still in her eyes when she opened them. I used the tip of the knife to fold the left cup of the bra back, exposing her. She didn't look down. Her eyes remained on mine as her nipple hardened from the cool air. I ran the flat surface of the knife over it, the blade trailing behind. Then I leaned into her and kissed her neck, sucking hard as I raised my other hand and used my fingers to push aside the other cup. I massaged her breast, rolling her nipple gently between my thumb and finger.
She took a staggered breath and I looked up to see her expression. Her jaw was set, her eyes cold as stone. But the hatred was flickering, like a candle that was about to go out. She struggled to hold onto it, forcing her desire aside. I kissed her hard and felt her give way. Her panting breaths came hard against my lips as I pulled away. She clenched her teeth and hissed quick breaths through them, still glaring at me, but she couldn't control her excitement anymore. Which was not to say she wasn't going to try...
"You gonna be good?" I questioned, running the sharp edge of the knife over her chest.
Her eyes narrowed. "Let go of that knife, Raph," she warned, "and I'll show you just how bad I am."
"Promise?" I grinned.
She growled at me, her eyes flashing. I pulled the weapon away from her body and tossed it behind me to the counter by the refridgerator. She attacked me immediately and I shoved her back against the counter. We wrestled for a moment until I managed to grab her wrists. I leaned down and bit the side of her neck. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark, but I was sure it didn't tickle. She stopped fighting and I let go of her wrists, leaving my teeth against her skin to warn her. With both hands free now, I brought them to rest on her hips.
She struggled and managed to push me back. I didn't really want to hurt her, so there wasn't a whole lot I could do. I let her take a step forward, then spun behind her. She was fast, and she tried to turn, to hit me. She only got halfway before I pinned her to the wall, giving up on the counter. It gave her too much room to maneuver. I grabbed her shoulder and spun her to face the wall, crushing her into it. She gasped as her naked breasts met the icy concrete.
"Bastard..." she hissed, pressing back.
I ignored her, knowing she couldn't really attack me as long as I didn't let her turn around. I brought my hands to her hips again and forced her jean cut-offs and her panties down at the same time. Once they got to her mid-thigh, they slid the rest of the way down to her ankles. I felt myself harden as she pressed back against me, growling threats in Japanese now.
I left the torn shirt on her shoulders and backed away, letting her spin and strike at me. I blocked her fist and jumped back as she kicked, careful not to let her get too close to the knife, then lunged at her. She cried out in frustration as I pinned her against the counter again. "Chikusho!"
"Shhh..." I warned, smiling at her. "You don't want an audience."
"Kutabare!"
I forced her legs apart and kissed her hard to quiet her. She struggled furiously, her chest heaving as I held her wrists and pressed the tip of my shaft to her hot entrance. When I looked up at her, I couldn't tell if she was about to cry or scream or laugh. Emotion was written all over her face, but it was far too confused for me to read any of it. The excitement spoke for itself. Between her legs, I could feel how wet she was.
"Do you hate me?" I questioned, curious as to what her response would be. Would she give in? She was close to that point, I knew. And I didn't want that. I didn't want to break her. If she began to cry, I'd done it wrong. But I didn't think she would. She set her jaw and squeezed her eyes closed, heaving breaths though her clenched teeth. She didn't answer.
I pressed inside of her and felt her muscles clench. "This is gonna hurt if you don't relax," I warned.
She opened her eyes and glared at me. "Bring it on, you asshole."
It only took a second. An unfamiliar voice. "Omigod!"
Kat leaned back on the counter and kicked me back with both legs, her thin fingers jabbing at a pressure point in my shoulder. I flew backward, in a fair amount of pain, and my back slammed to the refridgerator. In a flash, she was on me. The intruder - it didn't sound like Amy and Salome would've probably screamed - gasped. By the time I fully realized what had happened, the tip of the blade was at the base of my throat, held as if she were ready to run me through. My breath caught as I stood up on my toes, my head tilted slightly back on instinct.
"Jesus, Kat! What the hell's going on!" Another voice. This one belonging to Leo.
I briefly considered the fact that at least he and Melanie, and probably Mike, too, were watching my girlfriend, naked from the waist down, threaten to kill me. This couldn't look good. But as I felt the blade bite against my skin, I realized she didn't seem to care in the least. She glared at me, angry fire dancing in her eyes, but said nothing.
"Okay," I breathed faintly, still as a statue. I watched her expression. "You win."
She held still for a moment, then eased up on the pressure. I lowered my head back down to normal and watched as she smiled wickedly, satisfied with herself. In one forceful, though not entirely unexpected movement, she pressed hard to me, her lips claiming mine in a hard, passionate kiss. I submitted, parting my lips and allowing her tongue to dart into my mouth, regardless of who was watching.
As she pulled away, she turned to the doorway and I caught her arm a fraction of a second before she hurled the knife at the intruder who'd granted her the victory. Whether she was aiming to kill Melanie, or to maim, or just to frighten, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to take the chance. I grabbed both her wrists and slammed her against the wall. She stared at me, more surprised than anything, and I turned to yell over my shoulder. "Get out of here," I growled at them.
Melanie didn't have to be told twice. But Leo did, as I'd expected. "Raphael, what's...?"
"Get out!" I ordered.
I waited for them to leave, and he did without any further conversation. I turned back to Kat. She was glaring at me again. "Drop the knife, baby," I pleaded, speaking gently to her rather than demanding.
Her expression softened and she looked away. After a moment of stillness, I felt her loosen her grip. The blade clattered to the floor noisily and she raised her eyes to mine, a strange, almost pleading look in them. I released my hold on her and her hands dropped to her sides. Her eyes closed as I brought my lips to hers gently and slipped my arms around her, feeling along her naked skin. Her breasts pressed to my plastron as I pulled her close to me and felt the tension ease out of her body.
I pulled away and her head bowed. Her eyes were closed. She held the distinct look of defeat. And I knew that's exactly what it was. Sure, she could take me on. But Mel was a different story. Mel attacked her emotions, which was something I wouldn't do.
After a moment of silence, she looked up. Tears threatened to overflow from her eyes as our stares locked. "Take me to bed, Raph," she pleaded quietly.
I nodded slightly, and said nothing.
LEONARDO:
They went from the kitchen to the bedroom, and didn't say a word. "Those two are somethin' else," Mike chuckled as the door closed.
I massaged my temples. "I just wish they wouldn't do it in the kitchen," I mumbled.
"She could've really hurt him!" Mel cried. She was still shocked. I wasn't really surprised by what I'd seen. Worried, was more the word for it. Regardless of her reasons, Kat was getting more edgy and more violent. Something was very wrong, and it was strangely familiar.
"She loves him too much to hurt him," Mike mumbled.
"She's got some seriously fucked up ways of showing it!"
I sighed. "Mel, just drop it," I warned. "What they do on their time..."
"In the kitchen?" she cried.
"... is their business," I continued, ignoring her. I'd learned a long time ago to stay out of my brother's sex life. "Just leave it alone."
"That's going to haunt me for the rest of my life, you know that?" she snapped.
"Yeah?" I challenged. "What do you want me to do about it? Tell them they can't have sex anymore? That's none of your business or mine."
She glared at me. "Well, they could have a little decency and keep it in the bedroom."
"You wanna tell that to Raph? Be my guest."
Michaelangelo snickered. A door opened behind us and Amy stepped into the room. "Is everything alright?" she asked. "I heard yelling."
"It's fine," I answered. I glanced at her and sighed. "You know where Don went?"
"To get dinner," she informed. "He left... I dunno, about a half hour ago maybe?"
I stood and sighed. "Okay. Thanks."
She nodded. "No problem."
I walked into my room and closed the door behind me, plunging my world into darkness. I didn't bother to light a candle as I walked to the center of the floor and sat down, my legs crossed.
It was foolish to be burned twice by the same flame. I was sure I knew this feeling inside of me; I'd felt it somewhere before. I breathed deep, quieting my thoughts, and focused on the blackness. I waited silently to see what would come to mind first. Kat hated her. That much was obvious without a word having to be said. She was angry, tense, frustrated... why?
"We need to talk."
"About what?"
"It's about Sasha. There's something you need to know about her."
Yes, of course I knew this. I knew exactly why it was so eerily familiar. It wasn't at all difficult to piece together where I had first met it.
"She needs to fucking get out of here, Leo. And if you don't kick her out than I will."
Sasha. There was a wound I didn't want to rip into. Raph had known from the start that she was dangerous. The same way Kat seemed to know about Mel. I didn't want to think of what this girl, possibly involved with the foot clan, could be hiding.
But at the same time, it was so different. We kept Sasha with us because of Amy. I knew it was dangerous, I just didn't know how dangerous. But right now, if Melanie was telling the truth, she was in very real danger, and not the kind she could control. In the event that she was telling the truth, I didn't want her blood on my hands.
The knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened my eyes and glanced up at the clock. It had been nearly a half hour. "Leo?"
"Come on in."
The door cracked open and Mike stepped inside. "What are you doin' sitting in the dark, Leo?"
"There's a candle over there," I pointed. "Don't flip on the light, huh?"
He nodded and lit the candle before he closed the door. Then he crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "Is something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned.
I sighed. "Has Kat... said anything to you about Mel?"
He stared at me, confused. "Mel? No. Why?"
I shook my head slightly. "It's just... the way she's acting. It's kinda making me nervous."
"Well, she doesn't like her, if that's what you're asking," Mike grinned.
I shot him a pathetic look and he shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say, Leo," he mumbled. "You know as much as I do. If she worked for Shredder, I can see why Kat's flippin' out. Especially since it's pretty obvious that the two of them knew each other."
I glanced away and let silence fill the room for a few seconds. "Will you do me a favor?" I finally asked.
"What?"
I looked up at him. "Will you talk to her?" He tensed noticeably. "She'll talk to you before she talks to me," I justified.
"And she'll talk to Raph before she talks to either of us," he reminded me. "Maybe he's the one you need to ask."
I shook my head and looked away again. "Raphael's not gonna tell me anything."
"You ask him already?"
"I don't need to. I know him. He won't lay it out on the line until something happens and he can't justify hiding it anymore."
"You think he knows, then? What all is going on?"
I nodded. "I think he's known for a while."
"Well, if he doesn't think it's a big enough threat to tell us, maybe we've got nothing to worry about."
I sighed. "He didn't tell us about Sasha, either, until it was too late."
"Yeah, but that was personal."
"This isn't?"
Michaelangelo shook his head. "Not for him." I looked away and heard my brother sigh. "He's not gonna withhold anything that'll put us in danger, Leo."
"He's not withholding," I mumbled. "He's telling us to get her out of here and he's being very adament about it, he's just not giving us a reason why. And in the mean time, Katarina is starting to worry me."
"Why?" he asked. "Something happen?"
I sighed and shook my head. "She's just... not herself."
He nodded and for a long time, he was quiet. "Yeah," he finally agreed. "I think I know what you mean."
KATARINA:
I concentrated on the sound of my labored breathing as I rested my head on his plastron. His fingers ran through my hair, occasionally brushing my bare shoulder. He didn't speak, but I knew he was awake, enjoying the feelings as his body eased down from the high. After a long silence, I rolled off of him. I turned onto my back and opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling. He let me go, his hand withdrawing.
"I'm sorry I cut you."
He was quiet for a moment. "Don't worry about it," he finally answered. "I'm okay."
I closed my eyes and listened to the quiet pattern of our breathing for a moment. "It's just..." I sighed as I realized I didn't know how to finish that statement. "I don't know why I did that."
His eyes didn't open. "Yes, you do."
"It wasn't you I was mad at," I informed.
"I know that. It was Mel. Do you know why?"
Yes, in a way, I knew exactly why. She reminded me so much of that life, of who I used to be. But it was different now. I was different. Lying in a bed with my father's enemy... I knew I would never be Kiara again. And yet at the same time, I couldn't get away from it. I would always be my father's daughter; I couldn't change that. My actions in the kitchen had only reinforced that realization.
The anger flared inside of me, though I wasn't entirely sure why. The thought of my father brought a wave of emotion with it that almost frightened me. It had been so long, and yet he could still make me feel these things. The anger, the frustration, the desire to be something other than who and what I was. I felt Raphael kiss my shoulder and pulled away away, turning my back on him. I didn't want to be comforted. I didn't want to carressed and touched and put up on a goddamn pedastal, somebody's property. It didn't matter if it was my father or my husband which, essentially, Raphael was. The inexplicable desire to be alone, strong, independent clouded my mind and for a moment, I forgot who and where I was.
"You are to treat her with the same respect that you would show me." His voice echoes off the high ceiling. "Disobedience will result in severe punishment."
Respect. Right. I watch as he moves from one speech to the next, crowning another of his students with his acceptance. I'm his daughter, but I'm only that and no more. And I'll never gain the respect he has for his thousands of sons that stand around us. At a distance, Madonna shrinks into the shadows, out of his line of vision. Melanie smirks, taunting me. She knows as well as I do that I'm just another token belonging to my father.
"Kat?"
His fingers brushed my arm and I spun, pinning him to the bed by his wrists. "Don't touch me," I growled.
He stared up at me in shocked confusion and I found the dividing line between what was real and what was only a memory. I loosened my grip and breathed deep, bowing my head. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's okay," he assured me.
I felt something inside of me break and I squeezed my eyes closed. "No!"
"What?" he asked.
"This is... wrong!" I gasped. "I don't wanna feel this way!"
His lips met mine and I opened to him. For a moment, I had felt better. Then it all came back to me. I couldn't get away from it. Tears welled up in my eyes and I let them come as he kissed me deeply. I was so confused. I didn't know who I was, and that scared me. I had been so convinced that Kiara was dead. But just seeing Melanie resurrected her inside of me.
Raphael guided my head to his shoulder, and held me, massaging my shoulder. I let go of the emotion and sobbed quietly, spilling tears onto his warm skin. His arms circled me protectively and I pressed to him. He kissed my hair and I felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed deep. "It's okay, baby..."
"Why do I feel like this?" I begged.
"Shh..."
I quieted, and cried silently until the tears were spent and reality began to come back into focus. "I'm scared, Raphael," I admitted, so quietly I could barely hear the words. "I... For the first time in... so long... so many years." I pulled away and looked down on him. His eyes opened and met mine. "And I mean, like, really scared. Not just... like you get when you're expecting a fight, or when you're in battle." He nodded slightly, letting me know he understood. "I don't think I've... ever felt this."
He reached up and brushed my hair behind my ear. "I'm not surprised," he whispered.
"Why am I afraid of her?" I begged, sure that somehow, he knew the answer to that.
"She threatens you," he told me.
I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Her goddamn threats never bothered me before!"
He shook his head and ran his hand lightly up to my shoulder and back down my arm. "Not what I'm talkin' about, baby."
"What then?" I questioned, confused. "I don't understand." I shook my head in disbelief. "I don't understand how she can... make me feel this way. Make me..."
"Lose control?" he offered.
The words hit me like a tornado and ripped through my emotions as I realized how true they were. "Yes," I choked as tears stung my eyes again. I was losing control, and that terrified me. My whole life, I had been in control of myself. I manipulated my surroundings and made them fit my world that I wanted to live in. Even circumstances that I couldn't change, I worked around them to get what I wanted. I'd always been in control. And now I was losing my grip.
He sat up slightly, propping his head up on his arm, and eased me onto my back. "You feel threatened because she can make you feel things you don't want to feel," he offered. "You attacked me to prove to yourself, consciously or not, that you were still in control."
I stared at him, surprised that he'd managed to psychoanalyze me so well. "If you knew that, why did you fight me?" I demanded.
He smiled. "It wouldn't have satisfied you if I hadn't."
"Are you saying you planned for me to win?" I challenged.
He shook his head. "Not at all."
"What are you saying, then?"
His fingers ran over the side of my face, brushing my hair back. "You want me to put it on the line?"
"Yeah," I answered truthfully.
"I had two goals. To piss you off and get you in bed."
"Why?" I questioned, confused by the oxymoron.
"Because the only time you really get aggressive is when you're trying to get even with me."
I considered his words and shook my head, still confused. "Why... does that matter?"
His fingers ran over my neck, brushing gently. "Because that's the point when you can see just how much control over me you really have."
I considered that for a moment, my mind playing back over the past hour. I suddenly realized how subdued Raphael had been when we'd made love. Never once did he step up to take charge. He let me drive the whole way. Normally, that probably would've bothered me. It certainly never would have satisfied me. But tonight, I hadn't even realized it until now.
"You played me," I realized, amused by the idea.
"No," he grinned. "You played me. You weren't supposed to win that wrestling match in the kitchen."
I studied him curiously. "How do you know all this?"
"What do you mean?"
"About... how I feel?"
He laughed quietly. "You've been telling me from the start that I'm a control freak. You played off that from the first time we talked. You don't think I know what it's like to lose control?"
"So you knew... what I needed?"
He traced my lips and smiled faintly. "Do you feel better?"
I thought about that for a moment. Even knowing what he'd done, and knowing that it didn't really solve the real problem with Melanie, he was right. I did feel better. I felt more like myself. I nodded silently and he pulled me close, kissing my lips slowly and gently. I eased on top of him and moved down, resting my head on his plastron. I listened to him breathe and closed my eyes. It was only eight o'clock, and there was a mess in the kitchen, but I didn't care. I sighed deeply and fell asleep, his hands running gently up and down my back.
RAPHAEL:
I opened my eyes and glanced briefly at the clock before closing them again. It was two in the morning, and I was alone. Where was Kat? I lay still for a few minutes, wondering if she would return. Finally, I heard the door open. I felt her approach and saw the light change through my eyelids, listening as she set a candle down on the bedside table. I heard the faint whisp of fabric against skin and her robe fell to the floor. She sighed as she slipped into bed next to me, but kept her distance, lying on her back with her hands folded over her stomach. I opened my eyes and studied her for a moment, then closed them again. "You okay, baby?"
She jumped, startled, and her head snapped to the side, watching me. "I didn't know you were awake."
I opened my eyes again and studied her shadowed expression. "Yeah, I got that." I moved closer to her, snaking my arm around her waist. I brushed my fingers lightly back and forth over her hip as I kissed her bare shoulder. "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing," she lied.
I kissed her again, and propped myself up slightly so that I could kiss a trail to her neck. I sucked gently and held her hip tight. She didn't move. "Come on," I urged. "You can tell me."
She sighed deeply, her chest rising and falling beneath the blanket. "I just... I'm nervous for some reason. Just... it feels... like something's wrong." She turned and our eyes met. "I mean, more than the obvious. Like something's going to happen and I don't want to be caught off guard when it does."
I studied her carefully. "Something, like, dangerous?" I asked, concerned. How much could she possibly know?
She sighed, an irritated look on her face. "I don't know. And that's what worries me even more. But I think so."
I brushed her hair back from her face. "Not here," I assured her, resolving to save this conversation until I had it figured out in my own mind. "Just relax."
Her eyes slid closed. "Raph, you know as well as I do that we're not safe. Especially with Mel off god-knows-where. If she tells my father..."
I kissed her gently and she quieted. "Sleep, Kat," I ordered quietly.
"Something's wrong," she reminded me.
"Let me worry about it."
"But Raph..."
I moved over her and slid my arms underneath her, one at the small of her back and the other beneath her neck. She was caught off guard because I did it kind of fast, and she didn't think to resist me. I kissed her, my thighs parting hers forcefully, and then remained still. The kiss closed and broke and I stared down at her. "You trust me?" I whispered, smiling.
She eyed me suspiciously. I didn't blame her. She had no idea where I was going with this. "Yes..." she answered hesitantly.
I kissed her neck gently and licked along her skin. "Then just relax," I instructed. I looked back up at her. "I'm not gonna let anything happen here, okay? Save your worrying for when I'm not around."
She stared at me and didn't move. I kissed her cheek. "Now, are you gonna let it go or should I do you and make you relax?"
A smile crept over her face and she sighed. "Okay, Raph."
I climbed off of her and pulled her over me, resting her head on my shoulder. She nuzzled against me and I brushed my fingers back and forth over her skin. I felt the tension drain slowly from her body. "Kat?" I whispered after a moment of silence.
"Mmm?"
"I love you."
"I know."
MICHAELANGELO:
The long walk was supposed to ease this tension in my chest. But it didn't help. I returned to the lair with all the same mixed emotions I'd left with, closing the door behind me quietly. "Hey, Mike."
I spun and my eyes darted to Katarina. She was sitting cross-legged on the couch, alone in the living room. She laughed quietly. "What'sa matter? You look like you just saw a ghost or something."
I bowed slightly to her. "Hi, Kat." I glanced around. "Where is everyone?"
She shrugged. "I think Leo and Amy took Salome for a walk, Raph's still in bed, even though it's almost noon. I don't know where Don is right now." She studied me for a moment, cocking her head slightly to the side. "Are you feeling okay, Mikey?"
I nodded, looking away. She didn't buy it. I didn't really expect her to. "Are you sure? You seem... subdued. What's wrong?"
I glanced around the empty room, then back at her. "You said Raph's home?"
She nodded. "He's asleep." She studied me for a moment. "Do you need me to get him?"
I considered that. I seriously considered it. I wasn't exactly sure why, but he was the one I wanted to talk to about this. That was strange, because he normally wouldn't be the one I turned to. And I certainly didn't want to tell him what was going on in my life. I didn't want to tell anyone. But I had to. And really, the person I needed to tallk to was right in front of me. I just couldn't bring myself to open my mouth.
She sat up straighter. "Michaelangelo, what's wrong with you?" she demanded, her voice concerned. "You're worrying me."
I closed my eyes and breathed in deep. "There's something I gotta tell you," I managed.
"What?"
I exhaled the breath, then looked up, my eyes meeting hers. "I slept with Mel last night."
