ESCAPING PAIN
-8 YEARS
You know how it works, people:
http:// www. angelfire .com /ok5 /tmnt /beloved/ ch16 .html
RAPHAEL:
I felt a familiar presence enter the smoke-filled room and pulled away from the deep kiss I'd been engaged in. My eyes narrowed before I even looked toward the door. He didn't belong here. I turned in time to see him approach the bar, head down, and perch on the stool beside me, opposite of Alecia. Rebecca glanced over at him, but didn't seem too interested. Her attention quickly shifted back to me and she kissed along my neck, running her tongue over my skin.
I watched him for a minute. He didn't speak, but I was sure he was fully aware that I was sitting beside him. He'd walked up to me, for cryin' out loud. Chris stepped up from behind the counter and glanced at him. "What'll it be?"
He shook his head. "I dunno," he mumbled, barely audible. "Whatever's good."
"Long Island Iced Tea," I answered for him. Chris turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "Put it on my tab."
The bartender nodded. My credit was good here. I was better spoken of than most of the humans that came to this bar. Rebecca pulled away, as much as she could for being positioned on my lap, and cocked her head slightly, studying him. She couldn't see much. His head was turned away and he kept the hat low over his brow. In this quiet little bar, I knew everyone and they all knew me. I didn't bother to hide anymore. But I understood what he was doing.
Becca watched him for a second, then turned her attention back to my neck. She wasn't watching when he turned and made brief eye contact with me. "Thanks," he whispered.
I picked up my drink and slammed it down my throat. "No problem. Just don't get too plastered. That's some strong shit and you don't wanna have to explain it to Leo."
He looked away again, and didn't move as Chris set the glass down in front of him. "Thanks."
Chris went back to whatever conversation he'd been having with Alecia. Rebecca pulled away again and studied the figure beside me for a moment longer. Finally, her eyes turned to me. "So who's your friend?"
He tensed. I made note of it. If he didn't want to be known, that was his prerogative. I met Becca's eyes and smirked at her, sliding a hand up her thigh to her skirt. "Why do you wanna know?"
She grinned back at me and shrugged. "Dunno. I was just kinda thinkin' because I'd be up for a threesome tonight."
"Four," Alecia corrected. I glanced at her and she winked at me. "If you're up to it."
I smiled back at her. "Bring it on."
Rebecca arched her back and looked at Lece upside down. "You already got four?"
Alecia licked her lips. "Three plus one. If Raph's friend is good to go."
I shook my head. "Leave him out of it."
Mike's eyes remained down. He'd barely touched the drink. I looked to him again. He wasn't a big drinker, if at all. But you could hardly taste the alcohol in those teas. And they would get him smashed good and fast, since that was obviously what he wanted in coming here. I couldn't imagine he'd done it for any other reason. The warning about Leo was just an obligatory statement. He should at least be warned.
"He's gone, isn't he?" I questioned.
Becca sat up again and looked at me. "Who's gone?"
I watched Mike as he nodded. "He's been gone, Raph," he whispered.
Facts confirmed, I pushed the idea aside. That was enough talk about it. I didn't want him to get emotional on me, 'cause I wasn't gonna be here long. I slid off the bar stool and took Rebecca's hand so she didn't fall. I wasn't sure how much she'd had to drink. But she gained her balance fairly easily and tapped Alecia's shoulder. "Ready to go?"
"Where are you going?" Mike asked quietly.
I glanced at him. If he'd come here to get drunk, I sure as hell wasn't gonna stop him. But I knew he wasn't ready to see my life in all its faded glory. "Hotel party," I answered plainly.
"You can come if you want," Rebecca offered. I cringed inwardly at the offer. He's not ready for that...
"You don't have to," I quickly added.
Rebecca laughed and pressed to my side. "Whatsa matter, Raph? Performance anxiety?"
I glared briefly at her. "Hardly."
Alecia snickered as she approached my brother. "Come on..." She rubbed hard against his leg, her fingers parting the trenchcoat and running up the inside of his thigh. "It'll be fun."
"No," I shot at her. She turned to glance at me and I gave her a warning look. "If he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to. No pressure."
It's his life, Raph... If he does want to, that's his prerogative, too...
Alecia nodded slightly and obediently backed off. I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her to my other side, kissing at her neck. She moaned slightly and her fingers found the slit in my coat, feeling along my skin up toward my plastron.
"Can I pressure you?" she breathed.
"You're doing it, wrong," Rebecca grinned. Her fingers slipped inside of my jacket and felt along my side. She reached a sensitive spot and I jerked involuntarily, pulling away from them both. She laughed. "That's where you put the pressure."
Alecia smiled, then turned to Mike again. "So you got an answer? Yes, no, maybe? Better make up your mind."
I stepped forward again, keeping a close eye on Rebecca's hands, and put my arm around Alecia's waist. I leaned into her. "Forget it," I whispered into her ear. "Let's just go."
Mike took a long drink of the alcohol, then spun the stool around to face us. "Yeah, sure."
I pulled away from Alecia and stared at him in a mix of shock and horror. He's not ready for that...
It's not your call.
He's gonna get hurt.
And that's his choice.
He's my brother.
He's his own master.
I can't let him...
You can't stop him.
Rebecca clapped her hands together. "Oh fun! Two turtles to play with tonight!"
Mike smiled, but it was forced. There was a glazed look in his eyes that worried me. The girls couldn't see it, but I sure as hell could. "You already got a room?" Alecia asked.
Becca nodded and turned to me. "Days Inn, 610. Fifteen minutes?"
I nodded to her and she and Alecia hurried out the door. I turned to Mike again and he looked away. "Mikey?"
"Mmm?"
He studied the floor with a blank stare. "You're not drunk, are you?" He'd only had half of one drink, but I wasn't sure how well he could hold it.
"No."
"Not lightheaded or anything?"
He sighed and looked to me. "You bought the drink, remember? Why do you care if I am drunk?"
I studied him carefully. He didn't look drunk, except for the glazed eyes. Mikey was an uninhibited drunk, and his decision to go with us would make more sense if he was a little buzzed... "I just don't want you doing anything you're gonna regret," I offered, not sure how he was going to take that.
He glanced up at me. "Like what?"
I laughed slightly. "Uh, Mike... we ain't exactly talkin' about the kinda party where you watch movies and eat popcorn, 'kay?"
His eyes narrowed slightly and he glared at me. "You really think I'm that naive, Raphael?" he shot at me, his voice cold. "I know what kind of life you live."
I nodded slowly. "And... are you sure that's the kind of life you want?"
He slid off the stool and shoved me. I took a slight step back, more surprised by the blow than threatened by it. "I don't need you to protect me, alright?" he snapped. "I can think for myself, thank you. I'm twenty-two fuckin' years old."
I felt my eyes widen. Mike didn't cuss much. Hearing him only further reinforced in me the realization that he didn't really want to do this. He was just looking for a way to get away from the pain of Splinter's... No, I didn't want to think about that yet. He was looking for a way out of the pain he felt. And it was going to hurt him later. In a major way.
There's nothing you can do about that.
I can't just let him do this.
You can't stop him. And you have no right to try.
He doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I can see it.
He needs to live and learn for himself. You can't protect him forever.
"Fine."
I didn't speak again. I pushed the emotions aside, forcing the arguing thoughts into silence, and left the bar. I was well aware of his presence right behind me.
RAPHAEL:
I knew something was wrong when I felt every muscle in Rebecca's body tense all at once. She jerked away from where she'd been kissing and thrashed underneath me, trying to get away. Her mouth opened and she screamed. I was off of her in a half second. It took about another half second for me to see what had happened. "Mike!"
Alecia was struggling with him. He was holding Rebecca. Jesus Christ, what was he doing! I lunged at him, throwing Alecia aside, and slammed him back against the headboard. To my surprise, he hit back. I lost my balance, and he forced me to the floor, landing on top of me. For a moment, I was too shocked to move, much less to fight back. His hands closed around my neck, his eyes blazing with fire.
I felt anger spark inside of me. Who the hell did he think he was? I held off on taking a breath and put all the force I could manage into a solid blow that hit the side of his face. He rolled to the side and I sat up instantly. I wasn't fast enough. He had my weapons. My eyes widened. Act now, ask questions later...
I rolled out of the way of his clumsy attack. He was on his knees on the floor, and that didn't provide a whole hell of a lot of room to maneuver. I reached out and grabbed his belt, but didn't have a chance to pull his weapons. I used the belt itself to block his downward strike. He was holding the sais like daggers. All else aside, he knew better than that. It was as if everything about him were suddenly null and void. Who he was, what he knew. Even the training that had been instilled in him since the time he could walk didn't phase him. Something was very wrong with him.
I managed to throw him off of me and grasped the handle of one of his weapons. I pulled it free and sprang to my knees. I had no time to get to my feet and it wouldn't do my much good anyways since he wasn't getting up. I spun the nunchaku beside me and then struck forward, hitting the back of his hand as I forced him to release the sai. He cried out in pain. The weapon fell. The other one followed. I grabbed them both, throwing one and the nunchaku behind me, and forced him onto his back, the tip of the remaining weapon at his thoat. He breathed hard, his chest heaving beneath me, his eyes narrowed into slits. Tears were streaming down his face, draining from his glassy eyes.
"What. The fuck! Is your problem?" I growled at him.
He stared at me, breathing heavily. I didn't move. I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him at this point. Until I got some kind of explanation, he wasn't getting out from behind this weapon. He began to shake. His breathing staggered and his eyes closed. His head lulled to one side and I knew he was out. What the hell? Confused, I reached down and placed my fingers on the side of his neck. His pulse was racing dangerously fast. He was still shaking. I felt fear flood through me.
"My god..."
DONATELLO:
"Donny!"
The voice was frantic. And it belonged to Raphael. I opened my eyes and looked toward my bedroom door. No sooner had I glanced up than it flew open. He hadn't even turned the knob. He'd kicked the damn thing in. But it didn't take me long to see why. "What...?" I asked as I saw Michaelangelo, draped in his arms.
"He took something," Raph growled, placing him on my bed. "I don't know what the fuck it was but his pulse is way high and he's gonna have a fucking heart attack."
I stared, dumbfounded. "What do you mean, he took something?"
"I said I don't fucking know, okay!" he yelled back at me. "Just... do something!"
"I can't do anything if I don't know what he took!" I answered, slightly annoyed.
"Drugs, okay? That's all I fucking know! And I didn't see him take it but I know he was drinking afterwards and whatever the fuck he took didn't like that, okay?"
I checked Mike's pulse. "Jesus..." I mumbled as I felt it hammer against my fingers.
"Do something," Raphael hissed at me.
"I..." I stammered, staring down at Michaelangelo. I shook my head slightly. "Raph, there's nothing I can do. I don't even have the equipment to..."
My voice trailed off. This could not be happening. Not Mike. But it was happening. And once again, I was completely powerless.
