A Harry Situation
By Jill Weber/ Jelsemium
Characters copyrighted by J.K. Rowling and used without permission or intent to make a profit.


Chapter Ten: Comforting Presents


Harry squirmed and lashed out but to no avail.

"Hold still, Pup," instructed the voice.

"Eer-eee-urf!" grunted Harry. His initial fright was fading to something faintly resembled annoyance when he recognized the voice.

"You realize that if you yell, I'll have to make a run for it," the friendly voice continued. Then Harry was released.

"Sir-ee-us!" he hissed. "I don't play on that team!" He managed to wiggle around and get a good look at his godfather. He was too relieved to see Sirius to really get annoyed, but he couldn't resist getting a jab in.

Sirius Black was still too thin, but his long, black hair was clean and his grip was strong. (Harry could testify to that.) Sirius frowned a minute, then picked up on Harry's meaning. "You little brat!" he hissed with a mock scowl. "You're as bad as your father." Then he gave Harry a wicked grin.

Harry backed away, but it was too late. Sirius shifted into canine form and attacked.

Harry's impulse was to yell and lash out. However, he didn't want to attract any attention, so he was reduced to trying to fend off the Padfoot's slobbering tongue as quietly as he could. He grabbed the dog's muzzle and pushed. *Gasp* "Stop!" *Sputter* "You! Oversized!" *Eurgh* "Slobbering!" *Gack* "Drooling! Mons!Tros!It!Eee!"

Sirius popped into human form. "Me drool? This from the Incredible Drool King?" he asked mockingly, but in a low voice. "You have no room to talk, Potter. Not after all those times you drooled on me or wiped your runny nose in my hair and that's not even getting into the nappy changing scandal."

Harry felt his face heat up. "Yes, let's not air all the dirty laundry," he muttered. He wiped futilely at his wet face. He took off his glasses and glared at them, as if he could dry them that way. Between the dew on the grass and dog slobber, his shirt was too wet to dry anything.

Sirius chuckled. "Sorry," he said, although his tone wasn't at all sorry. He handed Harry a handkerchief. "James hated getting knocked down and slobbered on, too." He briefly debated telling Harry what Lily's reaction had been, but decided against it. The boy was Marauder enough to actually try it. Unlike Lily, however, Harry might not have enough skill (yet) to undo it. One never really appreciates the tongue's role in eating until it's been removed from one's mouth.

"Nice to know my father and I have something in common besides the hair and glasses," Harry said. He tried to polish his glasses, but only smeared them.

"Your father never wore such ugly glasses," Sirius said.

"Thank you so much," Harry attempted to scowl, but his face kept twisting into a grin.

Sirius ruffled his hair. "You're not responsible for your lack of fashion education. The Dursleys should have seen to that," he said affectionately.

"Yeah, right," Harry said, handing back the useless handkerchief.

"So, where is that Firebolt – that incredibly expensive, state-of-the-art Firebolt that some doting, munificent godfather bought you – going?"

"Your affectionate and appreciative godson, having decided it was a crime to leave said incredibly expensive, state-of-the-art Firebolt in the closet all summer, is lending it to Ron Weasley," Harry said. He took a minute to catch his breath before it occurred to him that Sirius might not like that. "You don't mind, do you?" he added anxiously.

"Of course not." Sirius said. He ruffled Harry's hair again. "It'll help you later. Girls go for men with a reputation for being generous. Speaking of girls, you need a girlfriend to help you make fashion decisions since your Aunt has been so derelict in her duties. Prong's wardrobe was a disgrace until your Mum took him in hand. Got somebody in mind?"

Harry blinked a few times as he tried to keep up with Sirius' lightning change of subject. After a few minutes trying to understand Sirius' train of thought, he gave up. "Why are you here?" Harry asked, pushing his godfather's hand out of his hair. "You could get caught." That sounded rude, so he added: "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but I…"

Sirius grinned at the abrupt change of subject and cut Harry off with another hug. "We need somewhere safe to talk," was all he said, acknowledging that Harry had a point. "I'm going to introduce you to your secret guardian. We can talk at her place."

"You mean Mrs. Figg?" Harry asked when he could breathe again.

Sirius was pleased at Harry's perspicacity, but didn't get a chance to say so.

"I wondered if you'd ever twig to the truth," a new voice said dryly.

Harry jumped and whirled around to face the speaker. When he saw the elderly woman there, he leaned back against Sirius and tried to catch his breath. He wondered how old Mrs. Figg had managed to sneak up on them without Sirius noticing.

Sirius snickered and rubbed Harry's shoulders. "Calm down, Pup. She's with us."

Harry realized that his godfather had known that Mrs. Figg was there all along. He made a mental vow to pay Sirius back for that fright someday. "Mrs. Figg?" he finally managed to gasp.

"Good, you remember me," Mrs. Figg said with some asperity. "Now, we need to get you to my place without anybody noticing."

"That'll be easy," Harry said. He picked up his father's invisibility cloak. "According to my research, the Department for Restriction of Underage Magic can't detect this. I used it to smuggle Hedwig and the Firebolt out of the Dursleys'."

"Good, you actually picked up on Dumbledore's subtle suggestion. Wasn't sure if you would." Mrs. Figg gave Sirius a sideways look. "Well?" Suddenly, there was a large black dog standing there. "Heel," she said gruffly.

Padfoot fell in with Mrs. Figg. Harry walked alongside the Grim with his hand resting on the dog's ruff. After they got inside, Mrs. Figg pulled her wand out from somewhere and waved it at the windows. "There, if anybody looks inside the house, all they'll see are two tom cats. Mind you don't scratch the furniture." She paused. "Okay, Potter, come on out."

Harry shed the Invisibility Cloak and hung it carefully on the floor.

"Neat as ever, eh, boy?" Mrs. Figg said ironically. She waved her wand in Harry's direction. His shirt dried, his glasses cleared up and the cloak draped itself over the coat rack. The grass stains he got when Padfoot had knocked him over became permanently embedded into his oversized, generally colorless t-shirt. "Teenagers!" she snorted. "Why don't you wear decent clothing?"

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Mrs. Figg interrupted him.

"Shut it, you. I'll leave you along in a moment," Mrs. Figg said. "I just want to know when you figured out the truth."

"Last week," Harry admitted. "I didn't really think about it when Dumbledore said to gather up the old gang, including Arabella Figg. However, my Charms assignment is about old fashioned and inconspicuous wards, and I ran across Cole's Ward in my reading."

Mrs. Figg nodded. "Cole's ward is nice and subtle, unfortunately, it reeks of cabbage." She looked him up and down. "I'm glad you're turning out to be such a skilled young wizard, I was beginning to think you were a Squib, and a stupid one at that. You didn't pass any of my tests."

"Oh," Harry said blankly.

"Do you know how I tested you?" Mrs. Figg interrogated.

Harry cocked his head. "I expect it had something to do with all those cat pictures," he said guardedly.

"Very good," Mrs. Figg said approvingly. "You're not quite as dim as I thought. There are several ways of getting a young wizard to reveal his powers. Fear, anger and pain are among the most common triggers. Naturally, I wasn't about to do anything to hurt or scare you; and angering a Wizarding child can have, shall we say, painful consequences. So I chose the fourth most common trigger."

"Boredom?" Harry hazarded.

"Full marks," Mrs. Figg said. "The cat pictures do some rather interesting things when a Wizard wants them to. I think I may learn to like you… in another twenty years or so."

"I'll mark my calendar," Harry sighed.

"What happened to the Kneazle crossbreed that I gave to your aunt? It was supposed to be looking out for you and reporting to me every night. Tell me she hasn't been skivving off."

"My uncle and cousin are allergic, so I sent her to a friend of mine, Ginny Weasley."

"Arthur's youngest," Mrs. Figg said with a sniff. "I didn't intend to give her a guardian."

"Sorry," Harry said in a small voice.

"But I guess Little Miss can protect you at Hogwarts, at least," Mrs. Figg said thoughtfully. "Besides, the Weasley girl does need looking out for. She has a talent for trouble almost as bad as you and your godfather."

Harry scowled at the way she referred to Ginny, but before he could object, Mrs. Figg was talking again. "Well, I'll leave you two alone now. I've been out of circulation for a while; it's time to renew some acquaintances." She went to the fireplace, and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "By the way, boy, lending your broom to the Weasley boy was a gallant gesture. Evans would have been pleased." She tossed the powder into the fire and headed off to the Leaky Cauldron.

Harry gaped after her. "She's nutters," he muttered.

"Don't be rude, Harry, she's been through a lot on your account," Sirius said. He grasped Harry's shoulder and gave him a little shake.

Harry frowned. "But she can't make up her mind whether to be nice or mean!"

Sirius ruffled his hair. "Don't take her personally; she talks to everybody like that. You should hear her talk to Dumbledore."

Harry gave Sirius a sideways look. "I'd rather hear her talk to Snape."

Sirius grinned. "That's an event worth selling tickets to."

There was an awkward pause as Harry tried to think of some way to show his appreciation for his godfather's presence, but suddenly his mind had gone blank and his insides were beginning to knot up. His earlier conversation with Hermione had made him feel better and now seeing Sirius made him happy. This, ironically, sent his mood into a nosedive. It was as if the only way to feel something good was to let in the painful emotions that he'd been holding at arm's length for so long. "Erm, how have you been?" he asked finally. He wanted to say that he'd been worried about Sirius, but he didn't want to sound clingy or whining. He also wasn't sure his voice would stay steady.

"Busy," Sirius said. "I've been staying with Moony, as you probably remember. He's a fair cook, so I've put back some weight."

Harry eyed him doubtfully. "Not much," he said.

"You've lost weight," Sirius observed unhappily.

Harry shrugged and looked away.

"How have you been?" Sirius persisted.

Harry let his breath out in a long sigh and looked around for a place to sit.

"You're permitted to sit on the furniture," Sirius said. "She even allows Snuffles up on the couch."

"Oh," Harry flopped onto the couch.

"It's not your fault," Sirius said, also sitting down. "Cedric's death is Voldemort's fault, not yours."

"Yeah," Harry said morosely.

"You want to talk?"

Harry shook his head. "No, not about that." He paused. "Does it ever get better?" he added plaintively, ignoring the fact that he'd just said he didn't want to talk about it.

Sirius put his arm around him and Harry rested his head on his godfather's shoulder. Part of him was mortified to be so needy, but he was tired of being stoic.

It nearly broke Sirius' heart to hear his godson talk like that. He remembered back to Lily's pregnancy, he had a list of conversations that he planned to have with the baby. Dealing with the murder of a friend hadn't been on it. He wished he had something reassuring to say. Unfortunately, he was stuck with the truth.

"No," he said. He wrapped his arm firmly around his godson and leaned his cheek against Harry's silky hair. "Not really. The mind protects itself by covering up the pain with layers of other emotions, even other pain. And life's day to day tasks and tribulations sort of redirect your attention. In time, it becomes bearable, or so I've been told, but I'm afraid it doesn't get better."

Harry was shivering.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "Harry, I can never make it up to you. I should have been there… your parents should be here. It's my fault…" He stopped when he felt Harry shake his head.

"Sirius, stop, it's not your fault," Harry managed. He was gasping a little as he fought back the urge to cry.

Sirius ran his hand over Harry's head. "It's not your fault, either."

Harry lost the battle to keep his composure. Sirius pulled him close, murmured soothingly and rubbed the back of Harry's neck until the boy stopped shaking. He didn't try to hold on, however, when Harry suddenly pushed away.

"S… sorry," Harry muttered, pushing his glasses up and wiping angrily at his eyes. "You didn't come here to listen to me blub."

"Harry, if you need to cry, then that's why I'm here," Sirius said gently. He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket. "You're parents trusted me to look out for you. I haven't done a good job so far, the very least I can do is let you get some of this crap off your chest."

"Excuse me," Harry fled. He hoped Mrs. Figg didn't mind his using her bathroom, but he needed a few minutes to himself. When he came back, he gave Sirius a wary look to see if the older man was showing signs of amusement or, worse, pity; but he couldn't decipher Sirius' expression. It reminded him of the way that Mrs. Weasley had looked at Ginny after the Chamber of Secrets.

He went back to the couch, but sat a little farther away from Sirius. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"Handkerchief?" Sirius said, offering his filthy handkerchief again.

Harry just shook his head without opening his eyes. "Sorry, I don't know why I went off like that, I was feeling fine earlier this evening," he said.

"Harry, you have no reason to feel ashamed for crying. You've been through Hell. It's natural for you to have mood swings. You need to let go of some of the pain." 'Look who's talking,' a voice in the back of Sirius' mind sneered. Sirius ignored it. This wasn't about him. "Please understand, you have no control over what other people do. You and Cedric did exactly what you were supposed to do. It is not your fault that Voldemort was able to take advantage of the situation."

"I know, I guess," Harry sighed. "I just wish I could believe. It feels so… unfair that I can go on living and maybe be happy someday when Cedric can't."

"I understand," Sirius said. He thought about James and Lily. "Muggles have a term for this… I wish I could remember what it is."

"I bet Hermione would know," Harry said. He was actually starting to feel better. Now if he could only get rid of the persistent stomach ache. He decided not to mention that to Sirius, he'd troubled his godfather enough with his histrionics.

"Because she's a Muggle-born?"

"Because she's a walking encyclopedia," Harry said with an air of pride.

"Like her, do you?" Sirius said slyly in an effort to lighten the atmosphere. He nudged Harry in the ribs the way he used to nudge James when conversation turned to Lily.

"Not that way," Harry said with a touch of irritation. "She's like my sister." He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He sighed and tried to find the right words. "I need her as a sister, not a girlfriend," he finally said. The explanation sounded lame to him. "I mean, you might break up with a girlfriend," he added. Then he gave up. Every attempt at an explanation sounded more idiotic than the last one.

Sirius gazed at Harry's profile for a few minutes, trying to get inside the boy's head. "I guess I can see why you'd want a safe, stable relationship with her." He sighed. "Darn, and I so wanted to tease you about girls." He leaned over and tweaked Harry's ear. "So, what about Arthur's daughter? The girl you sent the Kneazle crossbreed to?"

Harry frowned and swatted Sirius' hand away. "Ginny's not my girlfriend," he said. He tried to glare at Sirius, but he suspected he looked more pitiful than threatening. "I don't have a girlfriend." Now he sounded pathetic.

"So, Ginny's just a friend?"

"More like an acquaintance," Harry said. "I don't really know her that well."

"Even though you spend so much time at the Burrow? She's only a year behind you, you know."

"She's a little shy around me," Harry said uncomfortably. He squirmed a little and slumped down on the couch. Suddenly the pattern on the carpet under his feet became very interesting.

"Likes you, does she?" Sirius' voice was warm, but Harry didn't look up to see if he was smiling.

Harry just knew his face had turned Weasley red.

"Ah-ha! I knew a handsome lad like you would attract girls!" Sirius said triumphantly. He reached over and pinched Harry's cheek. "Your mum had a lot of competition before she snagged your dad."

"Sirius, I don't need to hear this," Harry muttered. "It's nothing, really." He moved away from Sirius.

"She's a beautiful girl, Harry," Sirius said. "There's nothing wrong with her being attracted to you."

"Yeah, well," Harry pushed himself upright. "It just seems so, well, so arrogant to say 'Yeah, she's crushing on me.'."

"Modest, too," Sirius murmured. "You're mum would like your attitude. One of your dad's few failings was his lack of modesty."

Harry swallowed a few times, but didn't answer.

"There isn't anything wrong with realizing that somebody loves you," Sirius said. "Or even acknowledging it." Harry still didn't answer. "I love you; you do know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I'd be pretty thick not to. I mean, you swam the North Sea and ate rats and…" 'And risked his life and immortal soul,' Harry added to himself. "It's just that, well, it seems so weird." He went back to staring at the ceiling, so he missed the emotions passing across Sirius' face – pain, followed by sorrow, followed by fury.

Sirius was silent for a few minutes as he fought down the urge to go to the Dursleys and transfigure the adults into Flobberworms. How dare they instill this sense of unworthiness in Harry?

"So, you never told me why you were here," Harry said after a few minutes.

"I wanted to see you again," Sirius said. "I'm going away for a while and this might be the last time I get to talk to you… before you're birthday, I mean," Sirius added hastily at the expression on Harry's face.

"My birthday's not for two weeks."

"Nine days, actually," Sirius said. "Besides, better early than late, right?"

Harry stiffened. "You're going to do something stupid," he accused.

"No," Sirius said. "Not this time. This task is actually going to be rather boring. The trouble is, I'm going to be doing a lot of research and that's going to take a lot of time. I wanted to give you your birthday presents while I had the chance."

He wondered if he should talk to Harry about the mystery of the Weasley twins' sudden wealth, then he decided against it. It would only upset Harry, he thought. Besides, he told himself bitterly, he'd have hexed anybody who had tried to convince him that Peter would sell them out to the Dark Lord.

"Presents?" Harry asked sitting up in surprise. "You shouldn't have bought me anything," he added. "Somebody might spot you in a store. It's not worth the risk."

"Yes, presents, as in more than one gift. As it happens, I didn't actually buy anything," Sirius said. "One of the presents is from Hagrid. He gave it to me to pass on to you. Madam Maxime sent you something nice. Remus sent something, too. Although I warn you in advance, Remus' idea of a proper birthday present has changed quite a bit from his Marauder's days."

"Oh."

"At least this one won't spray you with perfume or eat your socks," Sirius added. "Wait, the sock eating gift was from James. Oh, and there's a package from Mrs. Figg, too."

Harry stared. "You're kidding me."

"No," Sirius said. "Come into the kitchen and I'll show you."

The kitchen was dark, but as soon as Harry walked in, fifteen candles burst into flame and illuminated the cake that they were embedded in. They also illuminated the pile of presents that sat around the table.

Harry's eyes went wide and for a minute he was afraid he was going to burst into tears again. "This is for me?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Yes," Sirius said. He rubbed Harry's back, noting the fact that Harry was shivering again. Flobberworms were too good for the Dursleys. "Say, Harry, what were those creatures you and Ron were complaining about last year? The ones that Hagrid was so enthused about?"

"Huh?" Harry said. He shook himself like he was trying to wake up. "I… oh, yeah, the blast-ended skrewts. Why?"

"Just curious," Sirius said. He wondered how to transfigure a human, no, a Dursley, into a blast-ended skrewt. "Well, go on, open your presents, boy!"

Harry sat down at the table and looked uncertainly from the pile of packages to Sirius.

"Don't expect me to sing," Sirius said. "I used to be good at it, but that was a long time ago."

"Oh, right," Harry said. "Erm, what should I start with?"

"Try the big box from Arabella," Sirius directed.

Harry gave him a blank look.

"Mrs. Figg," Sirius elaborated. He pointed to a large box wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with string rather than ribbon.

"Oh," Harry said. He pulled the string off and opened the package. It turned out to be filled with Muggle clothing – two maroon shirts (one with short sleeves and one with long sleeves), blue jeans, a denim jacket, black trainers, a dozen pairs of socks and a dozen sets of underwear. The enclosed note said: "Try wearing some decent clothes for a change." Harry felt his face heating up. He wasn't sure to be more embarrassed that Mrs. Figg knew that he didn't have decent underwear or that she knew what size to get. Didn't he have any privacy?

Sirius laughed. "Really, Harry, does she think your aunt and uncle are so stingy that they won't…" there was something about Harry's expression that made him trail off.

"So, who's next?" Harry said in an attempt to change the subject.

Sirius stared for a few minutes, trying to get his brain around this latest revelation. "Um, Remus' gift, I think," he said. "It's almost as exciting as Mrs. Figg's, but not quite."

Remus' present turned out to be an old, leather-bound copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. There was no note in the box, which made Harry frown. He flipped open the book and found two inscriptions. The second was from Remus to him and read: "Dear Harry, this book has given me considerable reading pleasure over the years and I hope that you will enjoy it as well. Cheers, Remus L."

The first inscription explained a lot. "Happy Birthday, Remus. Here's an example of Muggle literature that I think you will enjoy. Love from Lily."

He showed the inscriptions to Sirius, who remained unimpressed. "Yeah, I suppose it has sentimental value. But it's still a boring present!"

Harry managed a grin. "You sound like Ron," he said.

"Ron's a bright boy," Sirius said. "Nothing wrong with sounding like him."

Harry hefted the book and thought that Hermione would like it. Not that he would give her his mother's book. "I bet this isn't half as boring as the trunk I found," Harry said, half to himself.

"What trunk is that?" Sirius asked.

"I was helping Aunt Petunia clean out the attic and we found a trunk that Mum had left with her while they were moving around," Harry said.

"What's in it?"

"Dunno," Harry said diffidently. "I haven't looked in it yet. Not really."

Sirius looked at him curiously.

"I've been working on homework," Harry confessed shame-facedly.

Sirius sensed there was something else bothering him. "That aunt of yours didn't give you grief over it, did she?" he demanded.

"No," Harry said. "In fact, she said I could keep anything of Mum's that I found."

"Good," Sirius said. He decided against murdering the Dursleys outright. It would probably upset the boy, anyway. Still, he felt the need to do something.

"It's just that I've been, well, scared to look," Harry added. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sirius, either. "I just, well, I want it to be something important, but I'm afraid it's just… nothing."

Sirius walked behind him and massaged his shoulders. "Nothing your mother thought was worth saving can be 'nothing'," he said. "She wasn't the kind to hold on to rubbish."

Harry sighed. "I hope not. I suppose it's too much to hope for something like the Invisibility Cloak. Anyway, Hermione thinks I should approach it like an archeology dig, and that anything in there has to be valuable because it will help me learn more about my parents."

"I like that girl," Sirius said. "Always have. She'll make somebody a good goddaughter-in-law someday."

"Sirius, if your hints got any broader, they wouldn't fit in the room," Harry said. "I'm not interested in her that way. Besides, I'd never dream of poaching on Ron's territory."

Sirius grinned. "Oh, so that's the way the wind blows, eh?"

"Apparently," Harry decided to change the subject. "Speaking of the trunk, Hermione thinks there might be some sort of spell on it that makes me not want to poke around in it."

"That's fairly common with luggage," Sirius said. "Especially when traveling among Muggles. Your Mum was especially good at charms and an Aversion Charm would have been easy enough for her. If you can't break through before school starts, maybe Flitwick can help you with it."

"Maybe," Harry said. "I keep hoping I'll be able to go to the Weasleys. I bet they could help me get through."

"Especially Bill," Sirius said. "That's his area of expertise and I doubt you Mum put anything really nasty on that trunk. Assuming it has anything on it." He waved his hand at the cake. "Have some of this, it's lovely and fresh. Madam Maxime had it especially made for you. I hope you like chocolate."

"I love chocolate," Harry said eagerly. "So it's a chocolate cake?"

"Nothing so ordinary," Sirius said. "Apparently it's chocolate cake layered with chocolate mousse and covered with chocolate ganache."

"Wow," Harry was impressed. He stood up and blew out the candles. It took him several tries, as the candles ran around the top of the cake trying to avoid him. One went so far as to hang off the edge, but Harry eventually got that one, too.

"Pathetic," Sirius said. "Your Mum once used a blow-hard charm that not only allowed her to blow out all the candles in one breath, but she managed to splatter the frosting all over your father and me."

Harry laughed.

"I think Moony might have a picture of it," Sirius added. "Now, for the good part." He waved his wand and a generous slice of cake landed on Harry's plate, to be joined a few minutes later by a big scoop of vanilla ice cream.

The next few minutes were given over to eating. It was the first time all day that Harry had really felt like eating. Chocolate, he decided, was a great appetite stimulant.

"Okay, open Hagrid's next," Sirius said. "I confess, I'm rather curious as to what he got you. He only said that it was useful and 'interestin'.'"

Harry eyed the package warily. "It didn't try to bite you or anything, did it?" he asked.

"Harry, do you think I'd give my beloved godson something I thought was dangerous?"

"Yes."

Sirius laughed. "Well, maybe. No, it didn't try to bite or scratch or move… much."

Harry turned his wary gaze to Sirius' face, but his godfather just smiled blandly.

Harry touched the package and nearly jumped out of his skin when it wiggled. He cursed under his breath.

"Nice vocabulary," Sirius said, fighting back a laugh.

Harry finally managed to glare at Sirius.

"Oh, suck it up and open the package," Sirius laughed.

Harry took a deep breath and ripped open the package. At first, he thought he was looking at a snake. Then he realized that a snake would probably have eyes and a mouth and this was actually a rope. He sighed with relief when he picked it up. The rope wasn't any thicker than his finger and was made of some sort of silvery material. It felt so much like his Invisibility Cloak that he suspected it might be from the same material. He put the rope down and hunted around for a note. He knew Hagrid too well to imagine that this was a commonplace rope.

Besides, ordinary ropes don't wiggle and rub against one's hand.

"Dear Harry," the note read. "This is a snake rope. You whistle the commands and it will do what you tell it to. Hope your feeling better, see you at Hogwarts. Cheers, Hagrid."

"Wicked," Harry said, reading the list of commands that the rope would obey. "I can use this to climb out of places or tie up people…" his eyes went misty at the possibilities. He shook himself a little and looked around. "Oh, who's this from?" he asked picking up a colorful tube.

Sirius snatched it from his hand. "I don't know, I didn't see that before." He looked at it carefully, wand at the ready. Then he relaxed. "It's from Dumbledore," he reported, handing it back to Harry.

Harry eyed the package uncertainly. "He's never sent me anything before," he said wonderingly. "I mean, not since he gave me Dad's cloak. What could it be?" The wrapping paper was dark blue with golden suns and silver moons on it. It reminded Harry of a Christmas cracker, but he didn't think that Dumbledore would send him one of those.

He should have remembered Dumbledore's sense of humor. When he unwrapped the package, there was a loud BANG and a puff of smoke filled Mrs. Figg's kitchen.

When Sirius and Harry finished coughing and waving the smoke away there was nothing left of the wrapping. There was, however, a piece of parchment sitting on the table that hadn't been there before. A piece of parchment that was very familiar to both men sitting at the table.

"The Marauder's Map!" Harry yelped happily.

"Guess Dumbledore thought you'd need it next year," Sirius said happily. He tapped the map with his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Mr. Wormtail wonders if there is ever a time when Mr. Padfoot is NOT up to no good?"

"Mr. Moony would like to point out that there are times when Mr. Padfoot is asleep or unconscious."

"Gee, thanks, mates," Sirius said.

Harry grinned. "They certainly know you very well, Mr. Padfoot."

"Shut it, Mr. Prongs, Jr."

"Mr. Padfoot, Mr. Prongs would like to point out that it is nearly one AM and Prongs, Jr. should have been in bed hours ago."

Sirius snorted. "Even then he was being corrupted by Lily."

Harry ran a finger across the map and smiled sadly. "It's my birthday party, Mr. Prongs," he said.

"Mr. Prongs would like to wish Prongs, Jr. the happiest of birthday celebrations and begs him to consider going to bed soon."

"Mr. Moony sends his best wishes and hopes that Master Prongs, Jr. has had a lovely day."

"Mr. Wormtail sends his regards to Prongs, Jr. and he hopes there is plenty of cake and ice cream for everybody."

"Yes, there's plenty of goodies for everybody," Harry said. He could manage to keep calm by remembering that this was just a thing. His father and his father's betrayer were not really writing to him. Still, it was nice to have his father wish him a happy birthday, even if it was only by proxy.

"Good-night, all," Sirius said. He tapped the map. "Mischief managed."

Harry fingered the now blank parchment sadly.

"You okay?" Sirius said.

"Yeah, I think," Harry said. "It was nice talking to Prongs." Harry hesitated. "Sirius? D'you think that…" he trailed off.

"Go on," Sirius encouraged.

"D'you think my Mum and Dad would have liked me?" Harry looked up, then hurried on. "I mean, I know they would have loved me, being my parents and all, but would they have liked me? I mean, I'm not that good in school and I'm always in trouble…" he trailed off with a sigh.

"Well, if you were classmates with your parents, I think your Dad would have taken to you right away. He picked up friends the way black velvet picks up white cat hairs. Your guts and your skill in Quidditch would have won James over. As for Lily," Sirius had to think about that for a while. "Well, she'd have reacted like Hermione, I expect. She'd be urging you to take your studies more seriously, and to drop Divination in favor of Muggle Studies, because that's what she was always doing with us. But, well, as Mrs. Figg said, your Mum would have approved of you lending your broom to Ron for the summer. She was a good judge of character, I expect that she would have liked you. Face it, you're a rather likable lad."

Harry looked down at the Marauder's Map. He was likable? He tried to get his brain around that, but failed. "Thanks," he said. He stood up and cleared off the table to give himself something to do. He didn't want to blub in front of Sirius again just because he'd been complimented. "No point in leaving a mess for Mrs. Figg," he muttered.

After they finished cleaning up, Sirius grinned. "Enough moping, you have one last present to open. I've been working on this since before your fourth year, and I think it will come in useful."

He handed Harry rectangular box wrapped in sparkly gold paper. Inside was a small, denim bound book with the silhouette of a stag against a crescent moon.

"This looks as thrilling as Remus' gift," Harry said dryly.

Sirius snickered. "I've been recreating our masterpiece. I wish I knew what happened to the original, but I suspect it was destroyed at… well, a long time ago."

Harry figured that the original must have been at Godric's Hollow, but he didn't pursue that train of thought. He flipped open the book and saw… nothing. He shot Sirius a sideways look, then flipped through the pages. "This isn't a diary, is it?"

Sirius shook his head.

"How do I activate this?" Harry asked.

"Ask nicely."

Harry cleared his throat. "Excuse me, would you show me what's written in here?" he asked.

Nothing happened.

Harry tried again. "Excuse me, would you please show me what's written on these pages?"

Still nothing. Sirius grinned.

Harry gave him an assessing look. Then tried a third time. "Excuse me, Mr. or Ms. Nicely, would you please show me what is in this book?"

:Of course: The book printed. :And it's just Nicely, thank you.:

"You're welcome," Harry said. "Are you another aid to magical mischief makers?"

:I have that distinction, yes: Nicely answered.

Sirius applauded.

Harry smirked at him. "You could have been more obvious, but it would have been hard." Then he ducked as Sirius reached over to abuse his hair again.

Then gold letters scrolled across the page, distracting them both.

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
Proudly Present
The Animagus Survival Guide


Harry's eyes went wide. "You're going to teach me to become an Animagus?" he gasped.

"Yes," Sirius said. "Mind you, I haven't consulted with Dumbledore about this. You'll have to keep it strictly to yourself."

Harry frowned at the Guide.

"What?"

"Can I tell Ron and Hermione?"

Sirius made a face. "You think they'd like to try?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "Besides, it would too weird to keep it from them."

"Harry," Sirius started.

Harry looked at him pleadingly.

Sirius sighed. "Okay, but mind you all follow Nicely's instructions to the letter! I can get you started tomorrow, but don't you try the transfiguration until you've seen me a few more times for actual lessons. It was rough going and Transfiguration isn't your strong suit."

"Do you think I can… you'll be here tomorrow?" Harry's face lit up like Bonfire Night.

"Yes, Mrs. Figg and I will figure out some way of getting you over here. But for now, it's time for you to go home."

"I'm not due back at Hogwarts until September first."

"Back to the Dursleys' I mean. It's past your bedtime," Sirius said sternly.

"Can't we get started now?" Harry pleaded.

"Harry, it's after one o'clock."

"Please?" Harry made puppy eyes at his godfather.

Sirius found that while he had a great many abilities, saying no to Harry wasn't one of them.

###



Author's Notes:
Everybody who guessed that Harry's mysterious assailant was Sirius Black may take ten house points.

Yes, I've noticed that I haven't opened the trunk yet. I'm afraid that I've given up on that chapter and will combine it with a later one. (It will be better with Ron and Hermione there to add color commentary.) However, the Animagus Handbook was something that was supposed to be in it. I just decided I had too much stuff in the trunk, and this wasn't something that Lily would have, anyway. So I turned it into a present from Sirius (and Remus) instead. There's more to the gift than Sirius let on. He and Remus have been working on retrieving some of the memories that Azkaban had drained from Sirius. But that's nothing he would want to burden Harry with.

The Muggle term Sirius was trying to remember is 'survivor's guilt.' They'll both learn it eventually. And yes, it will come from Hermione.

Cole's Ward: from cole slaw, of course. Cole being the German word for cabbage.

Taself: Thanks! Glad you find this story funny! Here's more for you!

Ian: Thanks! Why do I have to do cliff-hangers? Erm, because I'm a cruel and unusual person? Hope this chapter makes you feel better.

Shdurrani: Thanks! I intend to keep going!

DaBear: Thanks! Wouldn't want to drive you nuts (just yet). Here's the next chapter!

Andrea13: Thanks for letting me know what your favorite lines are. ** Glad you like my version of the Grangers. ** Your prayer is answered, as you can see.

Shyanne: Thanks! I love the Weasleys, too! ** I'm hoping to get the next couple of chapters out even faster.

SailorChibi: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that the characters come across as being 'real'. I'm trying very hard to make them seem that way. (Right now they've taken up residence in my head, so that helps.) ** You are correct about who's grabbed Harry.

Fiddy: Thanks!

MoNmOn: Sorry, no Weasleys in this chapter, either. They should be showing up next time. ** I thought it was about time for Harry and Hermione to have a fun conversation. Thanks for telling me what lines you like.

Temporary Insanity: Nope, Harry's not in too much trouble just yet. That comes later. ** Loved your comment about Hermione channeling Shakespeare.

Nexus: I'm so flattered that you think my story is good enough to go on your favorites list! Thank you!

Female Fred: Thanks! Can't make Harry too sweet, that wouldn't be him. He's got to play a joke every now and then or the Weasleys will disown him! (At least, the twins would disown him!)

Rhiain: Thanks! As far as cliff-hangers go, I am the Queen of Mean.

Yosti: Thanks! I'm trying to increase my speed! I want to finish this so I can move on to 'A Sirius Situation' before Book Five comes out!

Iniysa: I'm hurrying as fast as I can! Thanks for the review!

Chary: Thanks for the review. Yes, right now Harry is certain that he's not interested in Ginny 'that way.' Of course, things change. ** Yes, as far as Harry is concerned, that Firebolt is as precious as his firstborn. ** What's Bonfire Night? Sounds cool. (I even used it in this chapter without knowing what it might be.) Anyway, you're on the right track as to what's in the trunk. ** I didn't get nearly as much written as I'd hoped to. *sigh* At least, I got something done!

Hannah Abby: Flatterer! I could leave it there because I'm evil! ;-)

A. Lee: Hee! Hee! You flatterer, you! ** Actually, Ron did not say 'You're a GIRL' to Ginny. Fred did that. Ron was actually struck dumb when he realized that his sister was a 'looker'. George was struck dumb by *ahem* realizing that his sister was becoming 'well rounded.' Fred was actually astonished by how grown up his sister looked, but that's not what came out of his mouth. ** And Harry isn't oblivious to Ginny's crush. Rowling's made that clear, he just isn't sure how to handle it.

Alla: Thank you! I hope, at my advanced age, that I know something about human nature. ;-) I'm glad the characters seem realistic. I try to make the conversations read well. And thank you for the compliment on my writing!

Edvardo: Thank you! I'm glad you like my sense of humor! I'm hoping to finish this story this month, so I'll have April and May to write 'A Sirius Situation.'

erin potter: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad my story is worth anybody's time and I'm especially flattered when it's good enough to rate a review! I love stories with a lot of details and build up, too!

Caisha: Thank you! I like those characters, I'm glad I can get that affection to come across in my stories! ** And you get your wish, the Harry Grabber is indeed, Sirius Black!

Freak: How dare I end on a cliff-hanger like that? I love to make my readers scream! (Especially Ozma.)

Speaking of Ozma: Thanks for the scream! Glad I made you laugh as well as scream. ** I hope you don't mind that I took your nickname for Sirius and gave it to Harry. ** I like Hermione and I wanted to see more of Hermione and Harry interacting. ** Loved the comment about 'When Owls Collide!' ** Of course Harry noticed Ginny's gender before he noticed Hermione's. He met Ginny on the platform and he didn't meet Hermione until several hours after they left the station. And both times he noticed they were girls. ** Thanks for telling me which lines you particularly liked! Oh, yes, Ginny is going to get her chance to melt Mr. Potter. Probably won't be until 'A Sirius Situation' though. ** Ron's been invited to go to Bulgaria. We'll get his response to that next chapter. ** Oh, I know the game you mean, now. I think it's spelled 'foosball', but I'm not sure.

silver10fire: Thank you! Glad you thought the chapter was funny (as opposed to stupid!)

Three Sickles Short: Yep, it was Sirius. Yep, he will pay for that nasty trick. If not in this story, then in the next one. ** Viktor knows that somebody is coming in Rupert's place. Right now, he's thinking it will be Harry. He is not a happy camper about it. Ron's been invited, but his response has yet to be posted. ** Thanks for letting me know what parts of the story you especially liked. ** I thought 'Wonky Faint' was too funny not to use, especially since I've figured out that 'wonky' means something that's off-kilter.

Wingnut: I have nothing but respect for a person who knows when to panic. Hope this chapter helps you calm down. :-) ** I figure everybody picks on poor old Errol. It was time for him to get a little revenge. ;-)