Same Disclaimers and Warnings apply

'Chapter 1 ~ Insomnia Day 1'

A resounding irritating echo awoke me from a deep slumber. The pho-moonlight poured in from the unwrapped window and burnt my eyelids. I never found the need for frilly curtains to hide the light; more over, I feel the need to let the light in to save me from the nightmares the blackness brings.

Untangling myself from the sheets became an ordeal unto itself. After Duo's departure I coupled our twin beds together so that I might have more room to thrash around during those night terrors I imagine all past soldiers perform. Of course this proved to be a torturous mistake. The mattress on the right side held in Duo's pheromones and sent of lavender oil and laying on it was a sick game for my hormones. Doing laundry had become another vile torment as I kept finding lose chestnut strands among the sheets. I could not tolerate waste of one fragile silken hair and had begun to collect them in a black ribbon Duo had forgotten on the bathroom sink.  

The evil tone continued to assault my ears as I made my way down the hall. Stumbling half-awake I discovered the source of the noise; the video phone. The phone hadn't ringed once since the day Duo resumed his life as a Sweeper. Being more social than I, Duo received countless phone calls at all hours of the day from friends keeping in touch, and social invites to clubs and parties. Naturally, I was shocked to awaken to such a sound. I can't imagine who would attempt to contact me, and at such and early hour.

I was further taken back when I placed the receiver to my ear and found the intense almond eyes of Chang Wufei glaring straight through me. Wufei and I were co-workers at the Preventers. However, he preferred fieldwork as I remained at the branch on L1 consistently. Perhaps I didn't want to leave the home Duo and I shared. His soft sent still greeted me as I entered at the end of the day.

Obviously, I thought the worst; another war or a terrorist attack, why else would he be calling at such an early hour? Or at all for that matter?

"Chang." I sighed heavily as I placed one hand beside the phone on the kitchen wall. "May I ask as to what I owe the pleasure?"

" Heero, you seem slightly disoriented, did I wake you?"

I couldn't help but scoff at his ignorance, "It is approximately 4am, you really need to ask? I can only assume the world is coming to an end or else you wouldn't be awake yourself."

"Yuy," He replied ignoring my jest, his tone of the utmost sincerity, "I apologize for disturbing you, I seem to have forgotten the time difference. However, there is a matter of utmost importance I need you to attend to, involving Duo. There appears to have been an accident in the vicinity of L7 [1] I suggest getting yourself on the next shuttle over here."

He didn't have to continue; I was lost after Duo's name came into the conversation. My insides were screaming that I must be partly responsible for any ill that befell the braided beauty. I was the one who let him leave when I had every chance to cry out for his delayed departure. How foolish am I to have wasted such precious moments of bliss in the prescience of a rightfully self-proclaimed god? 

My thoughts must have caused my mind to fade for quite awhile for Wufei was crying out in a frantic manner when I finally realized the phone still rested on my ear.

" I understand Chang. How long before he will be admitted?"

I could see his expression lax slightly once he recognized I had been listening all the while. "The emergency unit is supposed to arrive with in the hour. If he survives he'll be kept in the ER until his vital signs stabilize. After, I don't know Yuy. No one has ever survived five days hovering in space alone before, I'm not even sure if the hospital is fully prepared to handle this kind of emergency."

The ache and shame are boiling like molten fire up my esophagus. My vision must be affected as well for I swear the man on the vid-phone panel is weeping. I have seen buildings fall and millions die, but I have never witnessed one of my fellow pilots cry. The world must be ending; my universe is certainly toppling in the abyss.

I'm not sure exactly how I found my voice but I suppose part of my brain is continually set to autopilot to cover for moments of sentiment. " I'll be on the next shuttle out."  

"I'll meet you at the port, and Heero?"

The autopilot is throwing him an inquisitive expression while my internal aspect grimaces.

"Be prepared for the worst." He chokes out the last sentence and hesitates before replacing the phone on the receiver and the screen blackness out.

I don't think my entire body has ever gone numb from the inside out before this moment. Training should have prepared me for moments such as these; in war casualties happen. However, Duo wasn't on the battle field, he was doing his job; aboard a wreck while it was in toe, a mechanical malfunction in the ships computer caused the newly restored life-support system to fail. Another failure in the external sensors caused the wreck to collide with the Sweepers ship. Three men were killed, and Duo had been presumed among them until a passing cargo ship discovered his body floating in space. I can't even muster the strength to replace the phone and it just rests on my shoulder as I outwardly glare and the panel before me. I want the screen to light up again and have Duo's outlandish grin mock me for falling for his latest prank.

Alas, no sparkling gemstone eyes illuminate the video screen. This is real. Duo Maxwell may already be dead, and the part of that had previously begun to decay with regret is about to splinter.

***

Shuttles are by far the most diseased, repulsive, and deafening way to travel. The engines roar rivaled that of seven of Trowa's circus lions. Always over-crowded and ridden with infants, it is by far impossible to feel comfortable locked in such a space. I am thinking of asking Relena to institute a new travel regulation; no infants aboard shuttle flights before 9am.

 Moments such as these render a feeling of loss for my Wing. The mecha was a war machine and therefore had no need for existence in times of peace; however, those who have piloted one know, no place in the world could ever be so peaceful as the hanger of a free-floating Gundam in space.

Although, I do imagine Duo's embrace would be equally, if not more serene: Duo. His name has become my mantra over the past three hours and I am fighting the urge to rush the cockpit, throw the captain from his chair, and fly the shuttle myself.

The fifteen hour shuttle ride from L1 to L7 could easily be cut down to five hours if the old geezer flying this rusted hulk of metal would hit the gas. I tried to rest, I truly did; but the constant clamor of poorly maintained machinery coupled with an unknowing worry glued my eyelids open. 

***

My arrival on L7 proved to be less eventful than I originally anticipated; which was a very good thing. Wufei greeted me at the gate with a stern expression. He seemed to read the question in my eyes and consciously nodded to affirm that Duo was still among the living. The reaction I provided mustn't have been the one he anticipated; he searched my face for a great deal of time while we waited for the car to brought around. I suppose he sought out the violently flowing tears typical of this type of situation. He's going to be looking for a long time then; I have begun to wonder if I was born without tear ducts. Inside I could cry rivers for days on end, but outwardly I remain completely congested. A warriors curse, Trowa once told me, abstaining from displaying manifestations of pain prevents enemies from knowing weaknesses. Unfortunately it also thwarts those you love from gaining access to your emotions.  

Wufei remained solemn the entire time we were in the car, only adding a few phrases here and there.

"Carbon dioxide poising"

I had been avoiding conversation by seemly devoting my attention to the passing surroundings; it appears that Wufei wasn't deceived.

"Excuse me?" My gaze turned to meet Chang eye to eye, but he kept his onyx glare on the road ahead as he spoke.

" Carbon dioxide poisoning, from being in the same space suit for a week with out clean air, the CO2 filters went. He also had severe dehydration and heavy affects of malnutrition when they brought him in last night." 

Malnutrition? He was kidding right? Duo Maxwell suffered through some of the worst years of the plague on L2 as a street orphan, of course his body was heavily affected by malnutrition. Perhaps Duo never talked to the Chinese boy about that part of his life. Despite his social demeanor, he rarely discusses his childhood.

I suppose Wufei had gotten frustrated by my lack of vocal interest in the conversation, and just focused his attention on driving, not uttering another syllable. I did not need his update on Duo's condition at any rate. As soon as we arrive at that hospital, I'm going to have my way with those moronic doctors. 

L7 is an industrial colony solely dedicated to mining along the asteroid belt. Relatively new in it's construction, few people other than workers inhabit it. I can imagine the hospital must have limited facilities; Duo would receive much better care had he been taken to the Preventers outpost on L3; unfortunately, the medics thought he wouldn't survive the journey. They underestimate him too much.

Duo Maxwell holds with in his character an unsurpassed strength that shines brightest in times of crisis. That light drew me to him, and holds my soul with his at this moment. I wouldn't want to exist in a world without that radiance.

***

I don't know witch odor nauseates me more, that of the packed shuttle or the signature smell of a hospital waiting room. Our arrival at the infirmary has been completely uneventful. Chang was admitted to Duo's room the moment we arrived and I had been informed that I was to wait. So wait I have for the past three hours.

I can feel my heart drop down below my ankles as I slump further in to the plastic chair. The receptionist keeps glaring at me, but the perfect soldier can stair her down easily. 

She whispers something to a portly woman dressed in blue, who approaches me with a big false grin on her face. The only grin I want to see right now is the one Duo sports.

"Mr. Yuy?"

I nod.

"I have been instructed that Mr. Maxwell has been transferred out of the ER and is prepared for visitors."

She's looking at me oddly. I don't know what kind of response she's expecting, but a blank stair is all I care to give her.

"Right this way please."

She leads down a winding hall lined with gurneys to an elevator, all the while maintaining silence, much to my relief. The nervousness is bubbling up in my stomach now. I can feel anxiety coming in waves making it hard to uphold balance. I keep my attention focused on the illuminated number four on the elevators control panel as we being to ascend. Why is it time passes so slowly when you're anticipating something?

The heavy doors slide open and I am completely dumbstruck by my surroundings. Hospital walls are supposed to be white correct? These walls are adorned by colorful paintings of clowns and rainbows, small red chairs and a low circular table rest in the center of what I assume to be the waiting area, and flowers; false flowers are daggling down from the ceiling and drifting in the breeze of the vents. Now I definitely have something to say to this portly woman with the plastered phony grin.

"Excuse me, but isn't this the children's ward? I believe you've made an error."

"No Mr. Yuy, Mr. Maxwell's room is directly down the hall to the left."

I scoffed raising my brow, "Just why would an adolescent young man be placed in the children's ward might I ask?"

"Mr. Maxwell is a minor with no insurance, he was lucky to be admitted at all. If it weren't for your Preventer friend, the medics would have left him out there."

Obviously not enjoying having her authority questioned, she spun on her heal and left me to search out Duo on my own. I'm going to make quick work of this.

Surely enough down the hall to the left in room 7A I found a sight that will haunt my dreams until the day I depart from this world. Duo Maxwell must have died for the frail shadow of a lad that lay in that bed could not be he. I hung limply in the doorframe and surveyed the ghastly spectacle.

He was most perfectly presented laid out in crisp white linens that had not one wrinkle. The white of the sheets and the pale of his skin blended together into one angelic robe surrounding his innocent face. His hair hand been groomed and arranged to fan out on the pillow like a crown around his head. Even on the verge of death he took my breath away. But then I noticed the machines.

Suppressing the urge to lurch forward and tear those atrocious tubes from his flaccid body, I waited for Chang to take note of my presence. The horror of such magnificence darkened by tubes and monitors brought my stomach into a churn that threatened vomiting. I have never known my heart to ache as it does in this moment.

Duo Maxwell is suffering.

Duo Maxwell is hurting.

Duo Maxwell may be dying.

Chang is on his knees by the bedside. His lips are moving quickly and silently in what I would say is prayer except that I have never known Wufei to be a religious man; however, I suppose at times like these everyone is religious. He finishes his hymn and rises to brush his lips across Duo's forehead. I have also never known Chang Wufei to be an affection man so therefore that act raises my suspicions and boils my blood. Duo Maxwell is my rapture, my oxygen, my adoration, and my religious conviction. To no one else will I lose him, not to death and not to pilot zero five. The tension in my body must have caused the floor to creek for the Chinese man took note of my entrance and moved to greet me.

"Heero, I'm sorry they didn't let you up sooner."      

"Hn." Sorry? You don't know the first thing about remorse.

"He's been comatose for the past eighteen hours and unresponsive to external stimuli since they picked him up."

I understand what he's trying to tell me, although I wish I didn't.  "You mean he's brain dead?"

" The doctors aren't exactly sure of the extent of the carbon dioxide poising, but it most likely caused some irreversible brain damage." He sighs, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on Duo. "If he does wake up he may never be the same."

He may never be the same, and I let him leave. He may never breathe the warm summer air again, and I let him leave. The guilt and worry are hovering over me like my own little black rain cloud.

"Heero" He paces his hand on my shoulder, a poor attempt at comforting my raging heart. "We can only be in here one at a time for an hour at a time. You talk to him, I'm going to grab some coffee."

Before I have a chance to protest, he is gone, and I'm standing alone in a room with a beauty I haven't gazed on in ten weeks. 'Talk to him' I winced mentally at the thought. How does one hold a conversation with an unconscious person? Even when we shared a home Duo did most of talking while I hung on his every word. Distraught I moved over to the bedside and pulled up a poorly padded wooden chair. Slumping down, my gaze averted the boy before me and wondered through out the room and lay to rest on a box of children's books in the far corner. I rose and select a title that seemed most appropriate, "Sleeping Beauty". Returning to my chair I flipped open the colorful cover and began reading aloud:

"Once upon a time …"  

TBC …

[1] I dunno…good band…so now it's a colony…whatever… made it up ;p

Ok so is this just anther stupid, over-done idea? I've never done anything like this so I'm having fun but ummm I don't think our boys are .

Please don't hurt me ^^

* runs and hides *

PS I wrote most of this while sleep deprived during finals. If something doesn't make sense blame my biological anthropology professor.