Disclaimers and Warnings in first chapter... all still apply....

'Chapter 4 ~ Insomnia day 4'


//Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
failing miserably to find a way to comfort you

Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
hiding from some poisoned memory//




Damned if I know what came over me, but my body began a rebellion against my overwhelming desire to immediately leave the dingy hotel room. It began with a slight twinge of nausea and a burring sensation in the back of my throat that erupted into dry heaves that made me feel like a dragon about to spit fire. Luckily I managed to fight off the dizziness long enough to stumble into the latrine.
The fits of vomiting vile stomach acid that tasted much like earwax and grapefruit quickly subsided and I leaned against the tile as the volume in my head suddenly got turned down. A white haze abstracted my vision and I fought the urge to pass out.

I knew my body needed protein and liquids, fast. Three days spent neglecting my own health had finally caused my body to crash-land and burn. My jaw suddenly locked open again and I fumbled for the porcelain bowl, clinging to the cool latrine and holding it for dear life, just before a stream of yoke colored foam escaped my lips. I have never been sick a day in my life and no amount of training could have prepared me for the horrors of hardly being able to move, let alone being able to leave the bathroom.

Once I felt that my stomach had removed all of its contents and had begun to settle, I cautiously made my way back into the main room, keeping one hand on the wall for leverage.
Although the vomiting had ceased, my stomach and throat still burned as if I swallowed molten lava. The searing pain left me half buckled over and wincing as I moved.
Removing the receiver from its cradle, I dialed room service and asked for a bottle of soy milk and a sports drink to be brought up. My voice sounded meek, it was a sign of fragility I was not accustomed to.

After sipping the repulsively warm lemon flavored Gatorade (tm) I whiled away most of the afternoon, basking in the glow I welcomed into my hotel room. The ache in my body had somehow climbed up a ladder into my skull and was currently jack hammering on my brain.
I forced my eyelids to stay open, knowing full well if I slipped into unconsciousness at this point, I'd be out for several days.

Something about the way the light caused lanky shadows to dance and sway around the walls mesmerized me.
I gazed across the way at the hospital where Duo now lay. The feeling of anticipation for seeing my Shinigami again coupled with the insistent pounding in my head caused time to move by slowly.

Until my body became more cooperative, I had time to devise a plan to enter the hospital undetected. I would wait for night to return to the hospital; the staff would be limited and I would be able to climb to Duo's window through the fire escape. Hopefully Chang would be laying in the waiting room passed out, and I would be able to slip through the window unrevealed.

I'm beginning to feel a twinge of guilt for my behavior toward Wufei yesterday; or was it the day before? I can't remember anymore.
Time seems to be melting, days blending together, I haven't felt this out of touch since the days of J's training. Weeks of being locked in a dank cellar will cause a person to relay on internal time. At any rate, my hysteria at the hospital had been completely out of line. I will admit my jealously had been completely unwarranted. After all, he was simply attempting to comfort my slumbering love. I should have been thanking him for his caring and generosity.

Time continued to slip by as my physical condition eased. The rumbling in my stomach indicated that it was prepared for solid food.
Gathering myself from the spot on the floor where I'd collapsed a few hours prior, I surveyed the damage. The room looked like a wild pack of dogs had come barreling through. The draperies were shredded and thrown about the room; the dresser drawers were laying about in a disorderly fashion, at least two of them damaged beyond repair. The bathroom was another disaster entirely; bodily fluids had formed a puddle around the off white basin. The toilet paper had been rolled around on the floor like kitten had been chasing after it.

All in all, I had created a nice little catastrophe that I had no desire what so ever to clean up.

I flushed the toilet and washed out the sink before dousing my face with cold water. For the first time I gazed at the mirror and stumbled back in shock. Black bags had formed under my bloodshot eyes, causing them to appear more sunken; like that of a corpse. My skin had become so translucent I could trace the pale blue and purple lines around the curves of my face. I laughed quietly to myself; thank goodness Wufei isn't here to see me like this. He'd give me a customized lecture about nutrition and caring for ones self.

My belly grumbled out again in protest and I wondered back into the bedroom to take one last swing of the now lukewarm chocolate soymilk. I'd stop at the deli for some wheat crackers before heading off to find Duo. One last look around the room brought me to conclusion that sometimes you have to pay for your mistakes; and for mine I was going to have to pay the portly man downstairs out of pocket.

***

Duo's room was around the back of the building and, still feeling slightly nauseated; I began a slow and labored assent up an unsteady and rusted staircase. A landing allowed me to slip just below the open window to Duo Maxwell's designated room.
Surprisingly, two familiar voices conversed within. The first, of course, was Wufei; but the second, although familiar, didn't quite register.

Being as cautious as possible not to attract attention, I peered into the room slightly to catch a glimpse of an older man in a pink Hawaiian shirt with a cast on his right arm. Howard must have come to check on Duo's progress.

Suddenly a sharp pain in the base of my cranium caused me to buckle over in pain. I bit my tongue to keep a scream from escaping my lips and giving away my position. The voice in my mind had been absent for quite some time, but I had a sneaking suspicion that whatever pain I was in now, he had caused. The pain subsided and I alerted myself to the conversation at Duo's bedside.

" ... Quatre called and he'll be here sometime early tomorrow. He's hoping they'll transfer him to the medical facility in Sanq for recovery."

Wufei spoke in a concerned but clam tone, a good sign that Duo's condition hadn't worsened.

" I can't thank you enough for this Mr. Chang. I dunno what I would have done if you hadn't stepped up and offered to take care of the hospital bills. Sweepers don't carry insurance. I mean you don't expect to come out alive from an accident like this."

" The Perventors will be more than happy to cover any of Maxwell's medical expenses. The organization does owe him a debt of gratitude for his role in the wars. It's honestly the least we could do."

I could hear sounds of shifting chairs as another person entered the room.

" Gentlemen, I need to check his vitals, if you don't mind stepping out for a while ..."

The nurse. Damn it.

" Well I should be off anyway, the ships under heavy repair and I need to get back and help the boys. I'll call you in the morning to check on the rascal."

Wufei gave a silent nod, I can read the bastard like a book, and his footsteps carried him out of the room. Howard hesitated by the bedside.

" You'll be fine kid. We're all waiting for ya back at the hanger. Just get better, ok?"

His path slowly followed Wufei's, which left that irrational nurse alone in the room with Duo.

I held my breath listening carefully to her movements as she hummed a poppy tune to herself, checking on Duo's progress. My heart leapt when she moved towards the window and closed it just slightly. Each second passed as if an eternity and finally the woman finished her work and replaced the chart on the door as she left.

Waiting a few moments to be assured of everyone's absence, I glimpsed into the room and found it empty with the exception of it's still resting occupant. Always careful not to make a sound, I slid the window open and stepped in slowly.

The first thing that caught my attention was the absence of the ventilator; meaning Duo had recovered enough to breathe on his own. Thankfully the door had been left ajar only somewhat; a passerby would not have a full view of Duo's bedside.

I pulled over a chair and slipped lifelessly into it. Quite frankly, he looked healthier than me. His skin had regained some of its natural golden hue and his lips didn't seem nearly as blue. Relief swept over my entire body and I leaned toward the bed to scoop one of his fragile hands in my own. The small blue-black marks around his collar-bone peeked out from under the paper-thin hospital robe and I winced. The evidence of my hysteria glaring me in the face caused my stomach to churn again. A razor-sharp throbbing hit my temple again causing me to release a muffled groan. I dropped Duo's hand like stone and fell back into the chair, covering my face. When I removed my hands they were wet from the tears.

Feelings of regret welled and swirled in my still slightly unsettled stomach. Unable to build a dam for the overflowing waters, I threw my useless form upon his frail chest and writhed my fists in the course linens.

"See, Duo? You've reduced me to a blubbering fool."

No response from the sleeping angel, although I truly expected none. Looking up at him: even in his current state he looked like a vision sent from the heavens. Even with the pain, I don't want this moment to end. I may never have the opportunity to be this close to him again. I want to spend every night like this, resting on his well-muscled form, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat.

"Duo I swear when you wake up I'll take you back home. I'll make things right ... somehow."

Kami, even if he never returns my affections and holds me in the warm embrace of my dreams, at least he'll be alive. At least he'll still come home at 3am and regal me with tales of Terry the gothic, fire spitting bartender. At least he'll still lay around the house all day in his boxer shorts on Sundays and laugh at me for doing paperwork on a day off; then threaten to throw my laptop out the window. At least he'll still be Duo.

" The first Saturday you're well we'll go to the zoo and see the penguins like you always begged me to... and then we can go to that tavern you always rave about and you can introduce me to that girl you say reminds you of me. The one who sits in the corner brooding all the time?" I couldn't help but chuckle through my tears, " I bet you thought I wasn't listening all those nights you came home late and ranted on and on about your day, but I was Duo. I could listen to you ramble on for the rest of my life."

I gazed at him through watery eyes for a few moments before taking his hand again and placing light kisses on each finger. I was rewarded by a sudden shift in the placement of his head. I could feel him shudder slightly. Whatever dream currently held him, it wasn't a pleasant one. I reached into the waistband on my jeans and removed the 9mm. I placed on the bed with in the reach of my right hand and tangled some of the silken chestnut strands in my left.

" Shhh. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere this time. I'll be here to keep you safe, I swear on my life."

I nestled into the curve of his stomach and my eyelids began to drop, the days of tension finally catching up to me. In the secure confines of Duo's embrace, sleep came to take me away.

Hopefully it would carry me to where Duo was...





//Poisoned and hopeless
Sleeping beauty//

TBC... ...