Dear Diary,

Some things never change and other things just turn around completely. Things and people… like Matt for example. Yeah, he's been my boyfriend for almost a year already but it's getting tired. He used to be so into me… now all he cares about is wrestling, wrestling, wrestling. I mean… I love wrestling too, and it does play a major part in my life, but… it's not my only priority.

Matt's not even that great of a wrestler. He does his best in his matches, but he's not as good as superstars like the Rock or Triple H. The only reason Matt is so big is because of Jeff. Jeff is such a daredevil, and that's what makes their matches so amazing… because of highflying Jeff. Think about it… all Matt does is his leg-drops and twists-of-fates. They're getting tired, too… just like Matt.

I have to go to bed now. It's three in the morning and I have to be up at six for our flight to Ontario. What a luxurious life I lead…

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

I've been such a bitch to Matt and I hate myself for it. He was being really, incredibly sweet to me today. First, the plane was full and they only had two seats left. Of course, Jeff wanted them for Matt and himself. Matt said I should have his seat and he'd take a later flight. I said no, as usual, but Matt never listens to me. So, I sat next to Skittles for hours on a non-stop plane ride from Detroit, Michigan to Ontario, Canada. All he wanted to do was read me his poetry, which I found quite boring. Some of them were pretty good, but the others made no sense.

After finally landing, I step out of the plane and go completely numb. It's January and we're in Canada. Not cool… we go to get our bags and… SURPRISE! Lita's bag is absolutely nowhere to be found! How ironic… everything was in that damn bag. After waiting for almost an hour and a half I say "fuck it" and go to my hotel room. By then it was nine o' clock and I was tired as hell. I go to bed and at two in the morning, someone knocks on my door. I open it to find a sleepy, aggravated, frozen Matt with roses and my bag. How sweet… ugh. Anyway… he apologizes for my inconveniences as if they were his fault. I put the roses on the dresser and crawl back into my bed. Matt takes off his clothes and crawls in with me, pressing his completely frozen body against me. It took me forever to get warm and he goes and messes it up. I pull away from him, which makes him ask those stupid five words: "Are you mad at me?" Yes, you idiot. I'm mad at you. I don't know why, but I'm always mad at him. He's so annoying… and yet I love him so much. It's four in the morning and Matt's sound asleep. I couldn't warm back up or fall back asleep since Matt's arrival, so I decided to write… which is making me sleepy, so I'm going to try to get back to sleep. Night.

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

We had to tape Smackdown today. Of course, I looked like hell from the whole nine hours of sleep I got within a two-day period. Matt told me I looked beautiful like I always do, but I don't buy his bullshit. He just wants to get his balls licked tonight… hehehe… anyway… I wrestled Trish, and I think I pulled a muscle doing a moonsault. Anyway, I won the match and Matt celebrated as if he didn't know I was going to win. I told him it was part of the storyline and that it was planned for me to win, but he says he's proud of me anyway. That made me gag.

Jeff the asshole accidentally dyed one of his eyebrows green. I thought I was going to die laughing. He thinks he looks so cool and he said he should do it more often. Matt and I begged him not to, but since when does Jeff ever listen to what other people say? So now, I'm walking around with Matt who's being so freaking sweet, it's making me diabetic, and Jeff with his multicolored eyebrows. These boys are going to drive me to drink, but where would I be without them?

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Jay (Christian) just discovered he has arachnophobia… and, boy, was it the most hilarious discovery ever! It turns out that Victoria has a pet tarantula that escaped from its cage. The hideous, fuzzy, black thing made its way from Victoria's dressing room to Jay's and Adam's.

I was putting Adam's 'Edge' chain on him when we see Jay backing up away from his dresser. He had the most petrified look on his face. Then he started screaming at the top of his lungs, sounding like a little girl. I've never really seen a man cry, and Adam was tearing up a storm. I thought I was going to see a few more tears from Jay but he must've been too horrified to cry. Victoria comes in and scoops up her ugly, disgusting spider, kissing it and scolding it. She told it never to scare 'mommy' like that again. Its name is Sid and she keeps referring to it as her baby. I swear, that chick freaks me out.

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Matt really hates cold weather. He was complaining all day. He kept asking me to check if his balls were blue and I asked him why he couldn't do it himself. He told me it would be a lot sexier if I did it. I ignored him and the laughter from his stupid guy friends. Jericho's sarcasm had me sick to my stomach as well as Adam teasing Jay and his spider epidemic. Jeff's green eyebrow and his poetry, and Matt's blue balls were also very sickening. It's tough being the only girl in the group but I have fun with the assclowns. They're like my brothers. Except for Matt of course… that would be incest.

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Today Jeff and Jay were going around saying "CHICKEN MOIST!" for no apparent reason. Jeff told me it was fun to say and he threatened me saying, "if you don't say it now, Li, I'm going to molest your boyfriend." Come on… do I ever listen to a threat? Especially one from Jeff… I didn't say Chicken Moist, and so Jeff chased Matt around, frequently humping his legs and grabbing his 'tits'. Jay told Jeff that Matt had no tits and Matt got offended… which was pretty funny. Matt cups his hands under his 'tits' and says, 'I could be a nice A-cup…' what dumbasses. They're so funny, though. Jericho walks in, and asks if Matt was drunk which gives Matt and Adam the idea to go out and buy liquor. They come back with like… the whole freakin' liquor store and the boys dare me to drink. They mix a whole bunch of drinks together making a 'Christiedgeichoeff Manly Piña Colada'. They came up with that name by mixing up their names. Matt was sad because they wouldn't add his name to it. They told him Christiedgeichoeffatt didn't sound right. Yeah, like Christiedgeichoff does. So they make me drink and I got so incredibly drunk, it was pathetic. I look at Jeff and realize that he has a green eyebrow. That made me laugh so hard, I thought my ribs were going to break. The guys are all drunk, too, so they're trying to figure out how Jeff's eyebrow became green, except for Matt, who thinks my cracking up is sexy. He asked to screw me right there in the middle of the room. That made me laugh even more, which made Matt even more horny.

~ Amy

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Hehehe… CHICKEN MOIST!!!! LoL… anyway… I thought it would be cool to make a diary type of story… it was just an idea… tell me if u guys think I should drop it or continue… send a review!!!

~ ChOoSe OnE ~

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