Dear Diary,

I've given up on Matt. I didn't break up with him or anything… I just stopped treating him like 'a king'. He was acting as if that was how he was supposed to be treated. Ha! My ass!

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Jeff died his other eyebrow. It's purple. He said he has to represent the Hardy Boyz… riiiiiiight.

Right now it's four in the afternoon – I just finished my workout. I'm watching Adam lift weights as I write… and damn, he looks good.

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Matt caught pneumonia. That's what he gets for wetting his hair and then going outside in Toronto, Canada. He was in his hotel room all day today.

I pretty much hung out with the guys as usual. I caught Adam looking my way a couple of times but I didn't think anything of it… I mean… we're just friends… right?

Anyway… Jeff adopted a snowball. He actually filled out adoption papers and paid 25 cents for it. It was Jay's first.

Its name is Oren, which is Jeff's middle name, backwards. 'Oren' is living in Jeff's freezer… I'm Oren's Aunt Lita.

I have to go now… I'll write more later.

-

It's later… and Chris ate Oren. Jeff cried.

~ Amy

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Dear Diary,

Was my day one of the most hilarious, embarrassing days ever or was it…

*9 A.M.*

We're on the plane, headed for Dallas, Texas. Matt's complaining about not feeling well, and Jeff isn't talking to Chris. Jay was kind of mad at Chris, too… he said Oren was his son first, but then he gave him up for adoption. Chris said he didn't care because if they would've brought Oren to Texas, he would have melted, and it would've been a slow and miserable death. This is what I went through for hours… complaining, whining, arguing, and discussion on the death of Oren the Snowball.

*4 P.M.*

The guys and I are hungry so we go to a McDonald's. Adam, Jay, Chris, and Matt order the same thing… two double cheeseburgers, large fries, a large coke, and two apple pies (hey that rhymes.) They eat like freaking pigs. I just had a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke. Jeff orders lobster and gets mad because they don't serve lobster at McDonald's. He actually threw a fit. There I was, with a grown man, whining and carrying on… not to mention his eyebrows are purple and green. It was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen… and the rest of the guys find it hilarious.

*5 P.M.*

We're driving to our hotel when we see a playground. Of course, the guys want to stop and play. So we pull over and Jay and Jeff run out of the car.

Chris stands by the swings, getting all fidgety and upset because some little girl won't let him have a turn.

One little boy recognizes Jeff and asks him to do the guns and give him an autograph. Then he walks up to me and asks to see my thong – mind you, the kid couldn't be more than five years old.

Another little kid walks up to Jeff and laughs and teases him about his eyebrows. Jeff's feelings get hurt, and so Jeff kicks dirt at the little boy.

Chris is getting ultra impatient waiting for the swing, so he pushes the little girl off. She falls and scrapes her knee and starts to cry. Her grandmother comes over and starts beating on Chris with her purse.

Matt is quietly playing by himself on the jungle gym and so Jay decides to start trouble by pushing Matt off of the monkey bars. Matt gets upset and he and Jay start fighting.

Now is when I come in. I slap each of the boys and then I apologize to the little kids and the little girls grandmother.

The boys were on punishment in the car and couldn't talk for the rest of the ride. It was funny and yet… so relaxing.

*9 P.M.* Also Right Now*

Jeff is mourning the death of Oren. I'm actually tired as hell. I think I'll go to sleep now. Night-night!

~ Amy

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